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The Haunted House
A mom,dad, and their son enter a haunted house. The ghosts want them out. My first story ever written. Please no flames.
I am 8 years old. My sister is Alyssa Arteaga. My favorite band is Simple Plan. I also like to listen to Good Charlotte. My favorite food is pizza. I dont like my other 9 year old sister. She acts like a brat.
The Haunted House
Once upon a time there was a house knowbody went in because it was haunted. One day
these kids were playing baseball and they hit the ball. The ball landed in the yard
of the Haunted House. A little boy went in to get it. There was a loud scream and he
never came out. Thats why knowbody ever goes in it.
One day there was a family(a mother, father, and son) who was looking for a new house.
They moved in the haunted house. They all picked their rooms out. The little boy, named Jason,
woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. He saw a ghost holding it's head. He also
had blood all over him, or thats what Jason thought. The ghost spoke in a ccold whisper.
"Leave, leave this place... or else."
Jason screamed and ran to his parents room. He told them waht happen. They got up and walked
to the bathroom.
"See, theres nothing here." The mom said.
"Now go back to bed." The dad said yawning.
They both went back to bed. Jason was still scared. He followed his parents back into their
room and they let him sleep with them so they could go back to sleep.
Jason woke up and saw bood on the walls. It said:If you dont leave I will kill you all!
He shut his eyes and when he opened the it was gone. His parents yelled for him to get ready to
go to school. He didn't tell kis parents what he saw. He went to school.
Everybody walked up to him and said, " So you live in the haunted house huh? A boy died in there." A boy said.
It was time to go home. Jason walked home. When he entered his house he saw his mom and dad dead.
Their heads were cut off just like the ghosts. Jason saw the ghost, ran out of the house and barely
made it out the door. He ran out screaming and never looked back.
|READER'S REVIEWS (3)
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"Originality is the essence of writing. This seemed too close to the Hanuted Mansion for my liking. This missed some of the important elements of short story writing such as conflict and climax. There wasn't any characterization that held the reader's interests. But for an eight year to write this...it is very good! You show a deep imagination that is vital for a writer and a good sense of flow of language that will flow you story along. Keep writing." -- e. rocco caldwell.
"this was very good Did you see waldisiney hunted Mansioin will this was good." -- J Harris.
"What a great story! I was on the edge of my seat all the way through! And to think that an EIGHT year old wrote this!? I can only image where she is now and all the feats she has to of accomplished 15 years later?! Bravo! Or should I say, brava?" -- A. Harris, Springfield, MO, U.S.A.
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© 2003 Cristina Yacovone
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