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What Lies Beneath The White
The Tooth Fairy. Those three words can mean a lot to one person, a little to another or anything in between.
What Lies Beneath The White
So the story goes, when you lose one of those little baby teeth, you put it under your pillow. A fairy, dubbed with the name of “Tooth”, comes and replaces your tooth with bright, shimmering money. In the morning you wake and, lo and behold, under your pillow you find a gift. Looking like something out a Halloween horror film, you run and tell your mother what you received. La, la, la. Everything’s going perfectly, right?
Let me tell you how the story really goes, my friend. This so called “fairy” is not a fairy at all. This “fairy” is a crook – a mean, lying, dirty crook.
As I mentioned before, you put your tooth under you pillow. Everything up to that point is correct. But as soon as you lay that tooth down on the cold, white sheet, you’ve stepped into a trap, my friend.
You cannot escape. That tooth is as good as gone. So finally, you fall asleep – a deep, deep sleep. One that you will not awake from until the deed is done.
The afore mentioned crook is watching your every move, from when that tooth falls out, to when it’s laying under your sleeping head. When he sees that all the lights are off in your house, he makes his move.
However, unlike a fairy he does not have wings. Flying for him is unthinkable. Therefore in most cases he is tripping over stuffed animals, toy trunks, etc… He can cause quite a racket. (It’s really a surprise he hasn’t been caught.) But when he gets to your pillow, he is a sneaky as a raccoon. In under a millisecond, your tooth disappears.
Now this crook, well, he’s cheap. Very cheap. He wouldn’t dream of giving you what you disserve for this tooth.
What you, your parents, your dentist and the rest of the world don’t know is that teeth are full of gold.
Solid, 14 karat gold.
There is just a thin, thin layer of “Fair Eaze” non-toxic white paint over the golden tooth. When people with very large teeth go to the airport, why do you think they are the ones the metal detector goes off on? Golden teeth.
The crook, he knows this. He knows about the gold that lies beneath the white. And what does he give you in return for this precious item?
What have you.
I hate to break it to you but for those of you who have lost teeth, you’ve been ripped off.
After he has stolen your tooth, he makes his get away.
Back at his lair, he takes the seven or eight teeth he has stolen for the night and brings them to his working chair. Grabbing two cups, he sits and begins to work. One cup is for finished teeth, the other is for paint. Yes, he melts the paint off the teeth. It does not take long for he is skilled in the area.
Once he finishes, he realizes he has enough. You see all this time, he’s been saving every tooth ever collected. He and his buddies have been planning a trip for some time now. Each has to save enough money for a plane ticket and a hotel room.
4,063,277 teeth. That should be enough.
The “Tooth Fairy” takes every golden parcel to the bank and exchanges them for green, paper cash. Two bills a tooth.
After receiving his money, he goes to the airport. Santa Claus is waiting at terminal C for him. They make their way to the plane and Santa informs Tooth that the Easter Bunny and Bigg Foot are waiting for them at the hotel in Las Vegas.
The pair makes it to Vegas and enter the hotel. After storing all their bags in their rooms, they meet up with Mr. Bunny and Bigg in the poker room.
All those long, tiring hours up all night, pilfering teeth can really bring in the bacon. Tooth has more money than anyone there.
However, in the end Tooth, Santa, Bigg and Mr. Bunny all go home broke. It looks like Tooth is back in the fairy business.
I hope this truthful tale teaches you a little about why the “Tooth Fairy” keeps on searching for…what lies beneath the white!!!
Alyssa von Puttkammer
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© 2003 Alyssa Vonputtputt
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