TITLE (EDIT) Greatkiskadee@Hotmail.Com, Kenny And Me
DESCRIPTION
This is a story about a fellow I met at a public library. We developed a friendship, partially through e-mail. I was curious about the e-mail handle he had chosen. [1,475 words]
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I write for a hobby. I have had two articles published but no short stories yet. [April 2000]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (3) December 25th At Pam's Restaurant (Where Else ?) (Short Stories) A story about a father and son who go to Pam's Restaurant every Christmas, although one might wonder why the father insists on maintaining the tradition [1,329 words] Getting A Free Lunch On Bay Street (Essays) This is about freeloaders and annual corporate meetings... They ain't there to listen to the CEO talk ! This article was published in NOW - Toronto in December 1998. [756 words] Temping In TV Land (Short Stories) This is a story about a fellow who takes a temp (temporary) job in a company that is involved with selling advertising to television stations. [2,015 words]
Greatkiskadee@Hotmail.Com, Kenny And Me Howard Freedman
greatkiskadee@hotmail.com, Kenny and me
I met Kenny at Toronto’s Metropolitan Research library. The library has a number of PC’s on the main floor, which provide patrons with free Internet access. I utilised these from time to time, and noted a few regulars there. Kenny was one of these regulars. He was often picking up his e-mail and I also noticed he spent a lot of time punching up stock quotations. I finally introduced myself, and commented that it was nice to be able to pick up email downtown and for free. Kenny told me his full name, and said the library was the best place in the world. ‘Ideas don’t decay, like the body does’. I had a feeling this fellow would be real interesting, so I pursued a conversation with him. Kenny volunteered his life story. He grew up in Trinidad, and labelled his childhood wretched. He made his way to New York as a young adult, and spent many years working double shifts in kitchens in the Greenwich Village area. Kenny was never one to spend money frivolously, and he had no time to spend it anyway. After saving for years, he took a foray into the stock market, studying the methods of the world’s renowned investors, like Warren Buffett. Kenny found New York an oppressive place to live, and had racist slurs hurled at him daily. When he made a significant amount of money in the stock market, he came to Canada. He worked briefly as a bookkeeper’s assistant, but was treated badly. He decided to retire at the age of fifty, to focus on continuing to educate himself, and to study and conquer the stock market.
I had an appointment to go to, but Kenny fascinated me. I suggested we meet for a drink sometime. Kenny said he didn’t drink, alcohol, coffee, anything like that. I suggested we could then meet and I would buy him some bottled water. Kenny seemed uncomfortable with that idea, and instead wrote his e-mail address out for me. I took it, and without looking at it, I placed it in my wallet. We shook hands and I went off.
That evening, I took out the slip of paper with Kenny’s email address on it. Kenny had an interesting email address. It was greatkiskadee@hotmail.com. Hmm. ‘Greatkiskadee’. Heck, why not just email the fellow and ask him what the email handle was all about. I emailed Kenny that evening and got this reply almost immediately:
Kiskadee is a tropical bird with a chocolate brown back and a mustard yellow belly. It sings in French, "Qu'est-ce qu'il dit?" meaning, "What's he saying?" Listened to its cadent voice for a few seconds, you'll feel like the bubbles in Coca-Cola and your energy will be increased two-folds. Also it can evoke yearnings, stimulate dreams and create a sense of mystery. Should you hear the Kiskadee sing you'll want to live forever.
I wanted to know more about this bird of Kenny’s. I surfed the Internet, and found some information and a picture of the great kiskadee. Have a look! : http://www.interlog.com/~barrow/kiskadee.htm. I emailed Kenny again and told him one day I hoped to hear his bird sing.
Kenny replied quickly again:
Today I made my lunch money, $2,000, praise Allah. Last week I bought stock in Macdonald’s at $ 40. Today I sold at $ 42. I went to Kensington Market and treated myself to some Guava juice. Benjamin Franklin said, "Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship." Everyone knows that poor people go bankrupt. But rich ones too. Why is this paradox? When you're rich, there're more ways to become poor. Before, you didn't dream of yachts, helicopters, oversea trips, fancy restaurants, Chanel #5, Gucci handbags, silk dresses, hazelnut-size diamonds, solid gold toilettes. Man's desires are sky-high but resources are scarce. In accounting there's a saying, "Extravagance leads to bankruptcy." For this reason I frown on debauchery. Give me a loaf of bread and a jug of wine under the tree and I'll be satisfied with life.
I chuckled when I read the reply. Here’s a fellow who makes $ 2,000 and celebrates with a fruit juice. I replied, mentioning that since the juice probably cost a dollar, he must have forgotten to tell me about the $ 1,999 lunch! I asked him which fancy restaurant he patronized, and would he take me next time! I also mentioned that I didn’t know he was Muslim.
The reply:
Oh, I was joking about the lunch. I never eat in restaurants. I don’t spend $ 2,000 on food all year. In fact, my total budget is $ 7,200 a year. I must save my money, to make life easier for my nieces and nephews. And I am not a Muslim, but a Buddhist. I just like to honour all forms of God. I am a Buddhist. But, let’s talk about something important, Howard. I want for you to go to Trinidad and hear my bird sing.
Well, why not, I thought. I emailed him back and promised I would investigate such a trip. I also asked him if he had any other hot stock picks. And I asked him how he managed to live on $ 7,200 a year. His reply:
I bought ALDCY at U.S.$6.50. ALDCY makes 4.5 million Dunkin' Donuts a day. It also owns Baskin-Robbins. Today, a girl asked me about how to get a wrinkle-free skin. To have a silky-smooth skin, stay away from the sun. Nothing ages the skin as much as the sun's radiation. Wear a hat, long sleeves and gloves in the sun. Follow Victoria Principal and Joan Collins. The skin on your bottom is very smooth but not your arm. Avoid facial expressions. Words suffice. When you bend a piece of cardboard too often, it forms a permanent crease. Johnson & Johnson make a cream called Retin-A which can remove tiny wrinkles. This letter must not be construed as medical or any other kind of advice. For professional advice, consult a competent authority. As far as my budget, I live on $ 7,200 a year. I have a tiny apartment west of the Annex. I only eat vegetables, tofu and rice. I treat myself to an ice cream once a year. My landlady gave me a television, I would not have one otherwise. I only need a couple of meals a day and access to the wonderful libraries around town. And, to save costs, one need not sleep on a bed. I’ve put out cardboard boxes and slept on those.
Kenny seemed to have it all. Stock picks, tips for healthy living, but mostly, an ability to make me laugh. He had a way, of, well, putting things. A week later he emailed this to me:
Thank you, Howard for the advice on ALDCY. It is already up a dollar. I owe you a Big Mac. Hope I see you at the library soon.
I was puzzled. That was the stock he told ME about. Was he mixing me up with someone else?
A week later I was at the library and saw Kenny. He was very excited to see me and reminded me that he owed me a Big Mac. I tried to protest, telling him that I never gave him advice on the stock, it was he who told me about it. He shook his head, repeatedly. He wanted to take me to MacDonalds. I really felt badly about this. I realized he had not mixed up the source of that stock tip. He just wanted to be friends. But I didn’t want him to spend money on me. He kept on insisting. I suggested, instead, he buy me a Coke if he wanted to. He was thrilled. We went to the kiosk in the library and he bought me the Coke. “Next time, I’ll buy you the Big Mac” he said. “You don’t have to”. “Oh, but for your advice”. I smiled. He took me to a section in the library that had many books on birds and he told me more stories about his childhood in Trinidad and of course about the Great Kiskadee.
A few weeks later I went to a travel agent. I asked about trips to the Trinidad. The agent said it wasn’t a popular travel destination, and instead presented the usual Carribean packages. She asked me why it had to be Trinidad. I thought about what Kenny wrote me: Should you hear the Kiskadee sing you'll want to live forever. I started to explain, but stopped myself, and left. I didn’t think she would understand.
I checked my email that night. Another email from Kenny. More stock tips, and some words of wisdom from the Buddha. He repeated his statement about his bird: Should you hear the Kiskadee sing you'll want to live forever. I smiled and thought, Kenny, I already have.
READER'S REVIEWS (2) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"good stuff Howard! a good story told simply, keep it up! email me if you want more feedback - but i don't think this one can be improved any further." -- sunny, DC.
"hey i just re-read your story. its still as entertaining as the first time." -- sunny, DC, USA.
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