Dropping The Red Doll by Paul Leighland MacLaine He hadn't seen his ex-wife in three years. Now, suddenly, she is back in his head and bac... [804 words]
Sky Bound by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Series story 8. Five years after Anne and Andrew marry, a crisis in the making forces them t... [3,501 words]
The Way We Actually Were by Jeffrey (George) Winter Recollections from a veteran of the Third Reich. [1,337 words]
Wisdom Dug Out Of Dirt by Jeffrey (George) Winter The wealth possessed by a poor, old farmer. [1,032 words]
You've Got Mail by David B Doc Byron A parody of the secret lives of movie critics. [358 words]
The Secret Of Pimples by David B Doc Byron You'll never see this one coming.... [362 words]
The Caged Introvert by Michael Harris A shy, unattached man's journey for love... [3,644 words]
Sleep Tight. Nighty Night. by Alessandra Mace This story I wrote before 'Big things come in small packages' see how is has matured... [1,282 words]
Nothing Fits, Anyway by Daniel Taylor A short story. [1,610 words]
Night Bite! by Frank Dunsmore Some believe in vampires and some wannabe vampires but Lieutenant Schmidt and his detectives are un... [3,812 words]
Cutting Critics by Frank Dunsmore We've all heard the debate: what is the responsibility of a reviewer? Is it primarily to tell t... [5,146 words]
As Told By Me by Parker Short Story about a kid that gets caught up in the wrong stuff. [6,534 words]
A Poignant Goodbye by Anne Stewart A very short story about internet relationships. [597 words]
The Cool Clique by Pearl S I actually did some reasearch for this, interviewed a few older friends... they don't understan... [837 words]
Story Of A Ghost by Matthew Mercieca A short story, about a man who goes through life being consumed by hate. [1,130 words]
Special by Pearl S - [1,338 words]
Space Walk by Sue (Sooz) Simpson May Cause offense. [1,290 words]
So This Is My Life Then
Pulp-Affliction by David B Doc Byron You figure it out. [568 words]
Podunk by David B Doc Byron A small group of rednecks find out what it's like not to get the last laugh on a minority. [763 words]
On The Singularity Cusp by Matt Tracy Learn the lengths to which humans will go to reach immortality. They reach for the star... [2,287 words]
Newsworthy by Vyacheslav Yampolsky A short story. [1,459 words]
Just A Bloody Card Game by Jerry Vilhotti A strorella. [979 words]
Hickory, Dickory, Dock by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [991 words]
Four Minute Warning by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [476 words]
Cherry Blossom by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [435 words]
Big Things Come In Small Packages by Alessandra Mace This story is about a boy who loves playing the piano and wishes to be a pian... [2,075 words]
Grounded by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Series story 10. Seven years into their marriage, life presents the Crance's with a few welco... [2,957 words]
Fatal Flight by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Series story 9. Reacting to Eric's death, Andrew, Eric's first flight instructor, and pro... [3,852 words]
Instrument Meteorological Conditions by Shelley J Alongi Aviation Series story 6. Built on friendship and common interest, Andrew ... [2,464 words]
Worlds Biggest Loser by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [114 words]
Watch Out, Henry! There's A Hole In That There Bucket! by Pearl S The English Essay I Had Way Too Much Fun Writing. [4,772 words]
Warring Faiths by Ami Another dream... [1,503 words]
Volunteer by Scott Turnit Red Scottturnitred The Empire Falls into civil war. Hard decesions must be made. [2,654 words]
Violet Glowing by Jason Richard Mercer The prelude to a story about an emotionally drained nymphomaniac with the soul of an angel. (I g... [594 words]
Twenty-First Century Mankind by Eric A Hofmann I chose to write a modern day myth which tackled subjects that I thought should be... [1,273 words]
Torn Over Ben by Tracy N Van Brocklin This story is an overview of a young woman's feelings about how she must give up what has been ma... [3,667 words]
The Wrong Love by Samuel James Chase When is love wrong? A story told from the point of view of a person who feels he is the victim i... [2,425 words]
The Music Of Zetaph by Rachael E Bills An intriguing outlook on a futuristic world where aliens from the planet Zetaph have interg... [3,218 words]
The Dinosaur by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [1,523 words]
Rebecca by Tammi Goyns A short story about supposed insanity...read into the mind of a madman and how he finds society to be c... [1,034 words]
Naughty Bunny Goes To Ibiza by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [552 words]
Lake Of The Woods by Stephanie Black A story about man vs. nature. A young boy must face a bear in the middle of nowhere during ... [2,492 words]
Insideout by David B Doc Byron A woman born deformed longs to be beautiful. [791 words]
His Prospects by Caitlin Conaway Repressed Victorians! Plus Antarctic Explorers, a pretty Oxford reject, and a little morphine. [3,535 words]
Four Months by Hopii Canterfield This is not meant to be a trite romance, although I know that it can come off that way. It's just ... [666 words]
Experience As In Dostojewski by Stefanie Aschmann The narrator is a rich, middle aged woman living in Germany. Her outlook on life t... [2,023 words]
Don't Be So Quick To Pull The Plug! by Ami Imagine yourself in her position and SHIVER! It's kind of creepy, a trigger... [1,658 words]
Cat's Chorus by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [1,332 words]
Blue Pill by Scott Turnit Red Scottturnitred Deep Space Romance. [4,499 words]
Anne by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [707 words]
A Twist In The Tail by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [963 words]
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TITLE (EDIT)
So This Is My Life Then |
DESCRIPTION
-
[517 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Comedy |
AUTHOR
Sue (Sooz) Simpson |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I'm thirty nine, recently single again. I have two boys Cli' (pronounced clee) Real name Christopher and Mark. I'm a care in the community nurse and formerly (when I was married) an occupational Therapist working with the mentally ill on a secure unit. I love reading and writing and meeting people. I hate offal, seafood and intolerance. I keep dog, cat, polecats, rats and reptiles. And for seven years ran the second largest reptile sanctuary in Britain. Apart from having my lads, I think that's probably the most worthwhile thing I've ever done. Writing wise, I've been the main fiction writer for Legends magazine for three years.And have two books published 'Lizard's Leap' published by Quillusers, and 'Better the Devil You Know' soon to be released by Bestbooks.Um I drive a knackered old Astra, and ride a two litre trike. I live in the lake district of England, and am happy. :-)
[January 2003] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
sooz.006@virgin.net |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (84)
A Fork In The Road. (Short Stories) A paradox revolving round the lonely Holker Mosses in the dead of night. [2,835 words] [Mystery]
A Twist In The Tail (Short Stories) - [963 words]
Agony (Short Stories) The First in a series of Agony columns written by the unstoppable Aunt Nasty. (May be deemed offensive) [1,200 words] [Comedy]
Agony 2 (Short Stories) Morew from the irrepresible Aunt Nasty (May be deemed offensive). [1,077 words] [Comedy]
Angel Stew (Short Stories) The kitchens are in uproar. [826 words] [Comedy]
Anne (Short Stories) - [707 words]
Apple Of His Eye (Short Stories) Daddy's little girl, Daddy's little sweetheart. (May be deemed offensive). [1,742 words] [Drama]
Attractions (Short Stories) People stared at the sisters and called them freaks. [678 words] [Drama]
Bandit At Twelve-O-Clock (Short Stories) A sinister note drops through her letter box, but who is it from and what's it all about? [2,144 words] [Drama]
Barriers (Short Stories) Everybody's frightened of the prisoner in the cell at the end of the block. [2,913 words] [Thriller]
Breakfast In Bed (Short Stories) She loved her husband so much, and a sepcial man deserves a special breakfast. [1,633 words] [Horror]
Car Trouble (Short Stories) Boys will be boys. [496 words] [Comedy]
Cat's Chorus (Short Stories) - [1,332 words]
Cherry Blossom (Short Stories) - [435 words]
Cold, Cold Night.. (Short Stories) The night was beautiful but biting, she had to make her final farewells, a cigarette would help. [630 words] [Drama]
Creeping Up From Behind. (Short Stories) You can't ever really know what someone else is thinking ... unless they choose to tell you. [925 words] [Drama]
Dark Solitude. (Short Stories) A woman alone on the moors when a storm threatens, but this is no ordinanry storm and that is no ordinary lady. [1,434 words] [Drama]
Dawn Rising (Short Stories) He looked at his own personal sunrise every morning, yet longed for the warmth of the sun. [1,069 words] [Drama]
Deadly Persuit (Short Stories) Nature at its most cruel .. when it's interfered with by man. [1,541 words] [Drama]
Deep Blue Eastern Light (Poetry) I've never been to Budapest, but I saw an image on a postcard, it was misty and had a sort of dreamy quality about it. I wondered about the spirit of Budapest. Hope I've done her justicce. [204 words]
Different Road (Short Stories) Charlie is running scared. Will he find his way before his precious time runs out? [521 words]
Empty House (Short Stories) This had been her domain, now it was only a shadow. [649 words] [Drama]
Find Me A Place (Poetry) Everybody needs somewhere to run. [193 words] [Drama]
Finding Fleur (Short Stories) Katy desperately wants to find Fleur, but does Fleur want to be found? [1,727 words] [Drama]
Four Minute Warning (Short Stories) - [476 words] [Comedy]
Freedom By Another Name (Short Stories) He's an imposter [557 words] [Drama]
Furtive Glances (Short Stories) Always the last to know! [891 words] [Drama]
Galaxy (Poetry) Let Venus bear witness and Mars be our guide. [139 words]
Hickory, Dickory, Dock (Short Stories) - [991 words] [Drama]
Is The Toilet Roll Half Full Or Half Empty (Short Stories) It's hard when you're at bursting point. [423 words] [Comedy]
I've Always Wanted To Write... But! (Short Stories) There's always an excuse if you want to find one. [510 words] [Mind]
Jasmine And Gardenia Love (Poetry) - [417 words] [Erotic]
Jinny (Poetry) - [176 words]
Just The Ticket (Short Stories) You pays your money and you takes your chances. [5,177 words] [Drama]
Knockers (Short Stories) It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. [2,210 words] [Drama]
Little Bird (Short Stories) He liked fragile things [1,406 words] [Drama]
Lizards Leap (Novels) Four children buy an intricately carved frame from a school fair. A crazy old woman chases them desperately wanting the carving for herself. What is the mystery surrounding the strange frame? [5,753 words] [Adventure]
Long Walk Back To Jurassica (Poetry) Evolution and progress or three million steps backwards? [323 words] [Drama]
Lookingthrough The Window (Short Stories) - [401 words]
Madness Becomes You (Short Stories) She used to be someone, now she's several people, or maybe she's nobody at all, it makes no difference. [394 words] [Drama]
Making My Way Back To You. (Short Stories) She'd told them a thousand times to keep the front door closed, now tragedy had struck. [1,926 words] [Drama]
Memberwhen (Poetry) Memberwhen that mystical word of long ago memories. [189 words] [Drama]
Mortar Doesn't Breathe. (Short Stories) The house was inanimate, dead ... because her child was gone. [1,114 words] [Drama]
Mourning Glory (Short Stories) One of my favourite pieces. Please note *This is not a children's story* It's the tale of a little girl trying to be a child. [1,786 words] [Drama]
Mumbles From The Madhouse (Novels) It was her first day on the secure unit and somehow she had to see it through. [2,215 words] [Drama]
My Friend The Tiger And Me (Poetry) I wrote this for my little boy when he was having trouble at school. [942 words] [Animal]
Naughty Bunny Goes To Ibiza (Short Stories) - [552 words]
One-Man Race (Short Stories) He had only his nerves to rely on. One slip and the race would be lost. [664 words] [Drama]
Out Of Print (Short Stories) A man, a boy, a love of reading and echoes of the past. [2,007 words] [Drama]
Outrun The River (Poetry) The snow was melting fast and he owed it to himself and his seld of dogs to make it to safety. [145 words] [Action]
Pact Of Joy. (Short Stories) Don't we all just want to be happy? [2,497 words] [Drama]
Play With Me Please. (Short Stories) - [322 words]
Return Of The Hellcat (Erotica May Be Offensive) (Short Stories) Please do not read this one if easily offended. Or even not so easily offended. Continuing sexploits of Dark Solitude. [3,390 words] [Erotic]
Room For One More (Short Stories) The dream was haunting and wouldn't leave Mike alone. [1,728 words] [Drama]
Rush Hour (Short Stories) - [419 words]
Sally (Short Stories) - [2,268 words]
Sinister Music (Novels) She had no psychic ability, so why had fate chosen her to foretell of the spate of brutal murders? [6,114 words] [Drama]
Space Walk (Short Stories) May Cause offense. [1,290 words] [Drama]
Spirit Dancer (Poetry) - [514 words]
Sweet Child Of Mine (Short Stories) The old lady had been brutally mugged, her son was sucjh a good boy, but would his thoughts now turn to revenge? [1,843 words] [Drama]
Tangled Web (Short Stories) Treat `em mean and keep `em keen. [596 words] [Drama]
The Band Played On (Short Stories) - [1,486 words] [Drama]
The Big Picture (Short Stories) The little girl was a great artist, but her subject matter was giving cause for concern. [776 words] [Drama]
The Comet. (Short Stories) Remember! [796 words] [Drama]
The Dinosaur (Short Stories) - [1,523 words]
The Half Empty Glass. (Short Stories) They had no idea of the horror they were walking into. [3,030 words] [Drama]
The Hhmmm Efect (Poetry) - [783 words]
The Iceberg (Short Stories) She had to break the hold they had on him... release him from his parents grip. [410 words] [Drama]
The Joker (Short Stories) - [2,032 words]
The Lovers (Poetry) - [124 words]
The Mark Of Jack (Short Stories) The start of something maybe. [1,044 words] [Drama]
The Old Enemy (Short Stories) I just hope I've got the names right. [253 words] [Drama]
The Rosary (Short Stories) May cause offense. [422 words]
The Spark (Short Stories) - [557 words]
The Thirteenth Station (Short Stories) - [8,024 words] [Horror]
The Village Green. (Short Stories) - [559 words] [Drama]
Three Mile Gap (Poetry) So close and yet... [285 words] [Drama]
Tomorrow Lies Beside Us (Poetry) - [239 words] [Drama]
Tusk (Short Stories) - [1,012 words] [Drama]
Under The Whether (Short Stories) - [1,626 words]
Watching And Waiting (Short Stories) - [1,253 words] [Drama]
White Icing (Short Stories) - [1,385 words]
Worlds Biggest Loser (Short Stories) - [114 words]
You Are My Sunshine (Short Stories) - [1,285 words]
|
So This Is My Life Then
Sue (Sooz) Simpson
The sun beat down, upon the lone figure standing at the edge of the clifftop. It was a
glorious day, the kind of day that makes you feel glad to be alive, but Ken didn’t feel glad
to be alive. “So this is my life then...” he was thinking “Not much of a life is it? Get up,
do a days graft, go home get nagged at by the missus, robbed blind by the kids, and for
what? Not one little bit of gratitude do they show. Not one bit”
Ken was contemplating suicide, but he’d never committed suicide before and was still
weighing up all the ramifications, like for instance. How much will it hurt? And how cold
will the water be? And how should one do it, head first or feet first? Or; should he just say
“To hell with it,” and have an affair with the cute little thing from across the green instead,
but then, if he took that option and the missus found out she’d kill him.
It was Thursday, He wondered if Thursday was a good day to kill yourself, or would maybe
Tuesday be a better day? By Thursday he’d already paid the milkman. If he died on a
Tuesday it would save him £2:66. His legs were beginning to ache so he sat and dangled
them over the cliff, while he smoked a `cig. On the other hand, he thought. The lads will
all be going down the pub on Friday, and then to the nightclub on Saturday ...so maybe he
would be better leaving it until Sunday to kill himself. Oh no he couldn’t possibly die on
Sunday. Well not until after the match anyway. Liverpool are playing Arsenal in the cup.
So Monday? Yes. He decided, Monday was the ideal day to commit hari-kari. But then
again, Monday night was poker night with the lads. Tuesday was Top Gear on telly.
Wednesday was the mid-week “Just a couple of pints dear,” down the local with the rugby
team. Which brought him back to...Thursday! What a life eh? Can’t even find a decent
day to kill yourself. He shook his head sadly.
After much morose head shaking, he put his hand down his pants and scratched his balls,
as he wondered if his wife would cope with the loss of him. Okay, Okay so yes the kids
did wonder who he was when he came home early because the match had been cancelled
last week. But they’d miss him ...wouldn’t they?
Right, he made his decision. “Today’s the day”
With one last backward glance, Ken stood up, took a couple of steps back; and threw
himself off the cliff.
Just at that moment his drinking cronies came running towards him.
“Oh look. There’s Ken the Lemming” Said Bill the Lemming. “He’s just Jumped off the
Cliff. I’m going to do that too.”
“Me too.” said Tim the Lemming
.
“And me.” said Rod the Lemming
“Me too.” said Bob the Lemming.
And on a sunny Thursday afternoon, they all ran over, and one by one, jumped off the
Cliff!
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READER'S REVIEWS (4)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Very cute story!Funn twist!!" -- Danielle.
"Hello Sooz, I've read much of your work, and many pieces are very good, or could be so with moderate reworking such as Mourning Glory. I also wanted to say having been familiar with your personal trials and tribulations since your first arrival on the board, that I hope it is now self-evident to you that it was not the former advisor of this site persistently attacking you. The site just hasn't been the same since he left, but I know this isn't your fault. I hope one day the site will hit a new Renaisance." -- Douglas Barre.
"Douglas is right, a lot of people got confused and drove out of town JA St. George on a rail, while the real culprit laughed his ass off, knowing he'd just brought about the downfall of the board. But now it's our turn to laugh our collective asses off at Nic, due to how foolish he consistently makes himself look. I think it is ashame that Jon, Nic, Casper, Cole, Anonymous, Grunt Woggler, Dan, the list goes on and on, felt compelled to drag every other writer into his own personal mess (even writers such as I who attempted to be nothing but kind to him)just because he couldn't get over the fact that he was no longer with the wonderful Ms. Brooklyn Ashe. But then I think he's too much in love with himself to truly have cared much about anyone else. I foresee an end to Nic's reign as chief idiot, and together we can work on bringing that day closer." -- RJ.
"Amen to that brother!" -- Joe.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2000 Sue (Sooz) Simpson |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
January 2003 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2588
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