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TITLE (EDIT)
The Beloved Child |
DESCRIPTION
A short story about vampires. I made up my own rules. Hope you like it, it's probably going to have a continuation, If I get good feedback. I invite all kinds of reviews. For Haven. Keep writing, my Beloved Child.
[1,287 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Science Fiction |
AUTHOR
Julissa Gayle Raven |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I'm using a talent I had since I was little.
[December 2002] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
looneymuse@hotmail.com |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (4)
Cold Wonder (Short Stories) Another short story I wrote on whim. Its written from a man's point of view just to let you know. It's more like random ravings than a string of complete thoughts. Its okay. I really need to stop do... [427 words] [Mind]
Constance & Flynn (Novels) An unusual love story set back in the 19th century England. I hope you like it mushy. It was written with determination and of course I must let you know it made my muse, happy. For Haven. [16,482 words] [Relationships]
Tears Of Red. (Short Stories) Originally a school assignment, but I took it a step farther. All my friends (and that's a lot) thought it deliciously evil. [3,565 words] [Horror]
The Beloved Child (Chapter 2) (Short Stories) Chapter 2 my story. It should open upa world of comprehension to the readers. [1,210 words] [Horror]
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The Beloved Child
Julissa Gayle Raven
A cold sweep of air murders all life in the room, everything and yet nothing. The frail, sickly blind girl tossed and turned on her sheets restlessly. Hearing a rustling noise in the corner she is startled and calls out in a wavering voice, “Sister Martha? Is that you? I’m ever so thirsty, please.”
A rasping melodic voice answered, “I am too.” The girl recoiled back into the backboard, “You’re not Sister Martha! Sister Martha!” The child screamed at the top of her lungs until she was hoarse and tired from her efforts.
A cloaked figure in black stood over her. Its beautiful blond hair stood on end floating around its pale face. The eyes were cold and unfeeling and the nose was neither unusual or outstanding in any respect. The mouth was a red slash on its face that had to sharp piercing fangs cutting into its bottom lip. Though the girl could not see this she felt the presence of this repulsive creature and drew back from it. She cried out as she fell from the side of the bed.
She heard a slow clicking of heels as it rounded on her. The voice neither male nor female spoke, “You are to die?”
“No.”
“From your illness, yes.”
The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end as beads of sweat popped out on her face. She suddenly felt extremely weak and collapsed back on the floor. “Yes, I am to die, and it does not matter if you kill me or this disease. Either way I am to die young.” Her muscles began to pull and ache and the girl made an effort to crawl back onto the bed.
“Tell me your age, young one.”
“Eleven, and too wise for my own good,” she answered bitterly.
“You do not need to die.”
“But it is the will of every fate on Earth and in the Heavens. Each day I feel my strength leaving me and more of my determination to stay alive in this cruel world is robbed from me.”
“I can save you. If you but let me.”
“Nay, and me to lay on soiled sheets in a convent that neither loves me nor despises me all my life. To grow old and never to do the things normal people do. Never! It is better this way.”
“But you will be like everyone else for I will save you.”
“For what price? Nothing is ever free.”
“An eternity with me.”
“Neither dead nor alive.”
“There are worse things. Do you? Only one other has had the same option as you and they rot in hell in a dark alley somewhere. I have watched you since you came to this convent. The nuns that help you are ignorant of your pains and only watch over you so that a spot in heaven may be saved for them. They are callous, not real nuns or else I would not be able to come to you as I am now.”
“There are worse things you are correct, and better.”
“Do you?” The question hung silently apart from the heavy breathing of the young girl.
“’Twas my fate to die, and yet another opportunity is open to me. I accept on the condition that you tell me your name.”
As the being descended upon the still frame of the little girl, it said silently, “My name is Gabriella, and you shall be my Beloved Child. Join me in this eternal struggle.”
Gabriella stood on the dune with her Beloved Child watching the first rays of sunlight rise on the horizon. She had regained her eyesight and was grateful to Gabriella up until the point where Gabriella had brought her something to drink. The red liquid did not taste of wine but was sweet on her tongue and when the Beloved Child had discovered its contents she had spat it out on the sand and cursed Gabriella. Instead of angering Gabriella she had lovingly stroked her Beloved Child’s head, and said silently, “You must take what I give, take what anyone gives you, and give nothing to no one, for free. Live by these rules and live well.”
The Beloved Child had answered, “And am I to be like you? Ruthless and Cold! Nay! I did not know, never thought.”
“And that is the price! You are mine until I decide to end this infinite game, and I am yours for as long as I choose. Do not push for what you cannot get, and do not take what you aren’t supposed to.”
“Why do you speak in riddles why not tell me, that I have become like you? Nothing! Absolutely nothing with a bleak future.”
Gabriella turned on her at that moment, “I am not like you no more. I have passed on my eternal life. To you. Another chance. I will end it now. I have seen many men die, some at my hand, I have lived for thousands of years, and have found someone worthy and wise of the gift and curse of eternal life. When the sun rises I shall die. You will take refuge in that cave yonder and watch. I must warn you, unlike that fanciful legend,” she spat, “You will not melt in the sunlight, but go through excruciating pain, but you will live. Another price for eternal life.”
“I am not prepared to pay!” the Beloved Child cried.
“You should have thought before.”
“I was going to die!”
“And that was your fate, I saved you.”
“And brought upon me a curse!”
“Yet bought my freedom.”
“I can do nothing but hate you now!”
“And I can only love you, for you have freed me. Now I shall go. Sleep well through morns, you shall never see again, and walk well through the nights that are so precious. Enjoy the hunt, or else the hunt will hurt you.”
“Physically?” the Beloved Child asked curiously, although she still felt utter scorn for Gabriella.
“Nay, it will be a battle within thine self to kill someone at first, but then it will become a way of life.” Gabriella smirked before adding, “Do not forget you can have ‘fun’ with them before they die. Your sexuality will come through.”
The Beloved Child could but stare. “And shall I always be known as the Beloved Child?”
“I shall say your name as I die. Now we cannot talk any longer, go take refuge in the cave we spoke of earlier and watched. No matter how much the sun burns your eyes and your head swirls you must watch. And when I say your name, you shall say mine and we shall meet again through death. You are my love.”
Gabriella stepped in front of the Beloved Child and hugged her in a maternal fashion. The Beloved Child turned and looked from her perch inside the cave. The sun’s morning light melted the flesh from Gabriella’s spread eagle arms first. The bones decayed faster and the clothing dropped in tatters with the disintegrating bones. As Gabriella turned a rotten skull with sunken eyes and sallow skin, she locked eyes with her Beloved Child. The rotted teeth, and gapping mouth opened and screeched.
“Sierra!”
And as the Beloved Child’s heart suffered from a seizure of sudden love screamed, “Gabriella, do not leave me!”
And with that the old one died, and left her Beloved Child alone.
Sierra looked to the North as she settled in the cave for a restoring sleep. “We shall meet again through death! I will find you again Gabriella!” She choked back a sob, “You gave me everything and yet nothing.”
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READER'S REVIEWS (5)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"this story is great! i wish that i could write this good. I would highly recomend this for people of any age. Keep up the good work!" -- Dalton, benbrook, Texas, United States.
"Well written and the dialogue was extremely fluid with Gabriella and Sierra playing off each other well. Need I mention the disintegrating bones??? :) I'd really like to know what happened next..." -- Rowan Davies.
" Favourite lines “Tell me your age, young one.” “Eleven, and too wise for my own good,” she answered bitterly. (EAM) This is a good piece of writing. It's impossible when reading not to take into acount your age and I'm trying to ignore that and review your work as I would any other writer on the site. Your style is crude in parts and needs to develop. The dialogue is good (one of the hardest things to write is convincing dialogue) your description is great for the most part, but needs reigning in a bit from time to time. I've read a lot of work on this site, this is definitely in the top fifty percent and I would say possibly the top seventy-five percent. " -- Sooz, Dalton-in-furness, England, Cumbria.
"I'm sorry I've just re-read this and realised how pompous it sounds, like I'm some bloody literary expert. This is of course just my opinion, I've only been writing a few years myself and don't know it all by a long chalk. " -- Sooz, Dalton-in-furness, England, Cumbria.
"i find this story very disturbing, yet very well written *applauds julie*" -- staci warren.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2002 Julissa Gayle Raven |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
December 2002 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2374
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