ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
T'is but a while ago that a fair red haired lady has captured my heart. So fair, in fact, that I am at a loss for words.
Here's to the Lady Jean, my love, my only.
(P.s. Please read my stories people) [November 2003]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (2) Filling The Pages (Short Stories) A true Hithcock thriller! [2,280 words] [Thriller] Somewhere Else Than Here (Short Stories) This is a fast-paced story that beheads dull moments. (For lack of a better phrase) [3,361 words] [Action]
READER'S REVIEWS (4) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Hey, Krige! I'm glad to finally meet another South African writer. Listen, first I need to know if you know of any South African writers' groups on the Internet? I live in London, and I'd really, really love some of my own people to read my stories. So, if you know of any sites, could I have the address? Anyway, about the story. First off, let me start by saying that this is not my kind of story, so I don't think my opinion will be much good to you--just remember that whatever I think, is only my opinion. For every reader that loves Stephen King, there is another who dislikes him. Okay, here goes... I like horror stories, and all of them start with something to draw you in, say a murder or something like that. Yours, being a totally different kind of story, didn't draw me in from the start (again, that is just my taste, and it means nothing to you). I thought the writing was well done. How long have you been writing for? One thing, though: each time you had a 'he said' or 'she said' you attached some action to it, as in 'he said and moved to the corner, or she said and combed her hair'. To me, I felt it was a little repetitive. Also, how did he know from the start that the burn mark on her back was from an iron? It seemed a little to unrealistic, especially the way the mother told him not to be a hero--again, I'm not trying to insult you. I'm just telling you what I thought of it. I did, however, feel sorry for the little girl, and that made me read further, so well done for that. Overall, I thought it was good. Listen, I'm more than willing to read anything else you have, and I'd love you to read what I've written, simply because I want more South African people to read my work. Don't bother reading what I've posted here--this is all stuff I wrote when I started writing two years ago, and it's stuff I'm never going to have published, so I posted to see if other people pick up on what I've noticed is wrong with it. Anyway, e-mail me at work if you want me to read anymore of your stuff. In exchange for your opinion on my stuff, I promise to give you an honest review, but if your other stuff is the same genre as this, maybe I'll be of more use as a proof reader, not a critic.I won't be at work until the 14th of January, so don't send the e-mail until then. Hope this helps. My address is robert.bell@nemko.co.uk" -- Robert Bell.
"Well here i am again reading your story. Soty to hear about your staffie. Now that is something i did not know about you. It must have traumatized you to such an extent it made your penis shrivel :). All jokes aside. Im sure ive read this piece before but it, i believe, was better the second time round. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I found a few mistakes though. For one, bronchitus is a lung infection. The other thing was that at the end Samantha was lying there when something was stuck in her back. She then proceeded to sit up without any emotion, and reach down for the lolly pop. That didnt quite make sense to me. But thats just me. When the doc. phoned the child abuse line there was joyous background music when he was on hold. I dont know if this was a mistake or if it was intentional. If it was intentional, it was a brilliant oxymoron. I enjoyed that. I reckon i would have enjoyed the story more if it were more focused on a character. I know it was focused on the doc. but i dont think it was enough into his emotions. It also would have been great to maybe focus on Samantha but i suppose that wasnt your aim. Otherwise the story was brilliant and it is always a pleasure to read your work. Carry on the good work La Vey. This crit was brought to you by our very own sponsor RYAN NEL" -- Boer Dundee, Gauteng, South Africa.
"Thank you once again for being my friend Ryan. You mentioned her sitting up without emotion? How would you have liked her to sit up? With remorse? With joy? In fact, please if you could tell me how one could sit up with an emotion, I would be more than pleased. Furthermore, the joyous music in the background was indeed intended, to show the severity of the situation. The whole story couldn't delve too deeply into one character, seeing as it was intended to evolve around everyone. (The mother, Samantha, the boy with aids and his father, and of course the doctor.) So if you missed that, it had to be because of your cockroach intelligence, or your short attention span. But I do appreciate your review, although I took slight offense on the comment about my staffie that made my penis shrivel. You cannot talk to her in such a way. Plus, what would my readers think of me now when they see there has been mention of my penis... Thank you once again, BOER, Crowley, Ryan Nel, your crit was, as usual, very much appreciated." -- The Author, Gauteng, South Africa.
"hello my sweet angel, that is truely a beautiful story! love you lots. your words have a way of melting my heart!" -- Jean.
TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS CLICK HERE! (SELECT "MANAGE TITLE REVIEWS" ACTION)
Submit Your Review for Salvation
Required fields are marked with (*). Your e-mail address will not be displayed.