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Baby Secrets... Lawrence Peters
"But you can tell me," she said and looked into my eyes with an earnest expression, "You know me. I'd never say a thing."
"I can tell you, but how can you tell that I'm not lying to you?"
"Bastard." she said and walked away. I didn't really care that I'd insulted her, even with a smile. She'd be back after her next drink with another tactic.
I had a secret and everyone knew it. I'd come to this party, knowing I'd be cajoled, entreated, lied to and buttered up. These were my friends, but I can't remember if anyone had tested this part of me. Known to be never (or hardly ever) serious, to me having a secret is very serious. Things hang in the balance with a secret. Loose lips and all.
I saw Bob break away from a whisper with a nice looking girl when he caught sight of me. Uh, oh. I could feel him across the room, probing, weighing his chances. Maybe he remembered the drunken time with him coming out of that hotel, not with Moria, his wife but Belle, some slut He'd met. Running into me wasn't on the dance card that night. He swore me to secrecy; his own ineptness led to his divorce, not my gum flapping.
I guess he did remember, for all he did was say,"Hey, Rufus, how's the world?" and handed me a fresh drink.
"Good, Bob, good. Still flying?"
"Every chance I get," he smiled back and looked for the whisperer.
"She's cute. What's her name?"
"Damned if I know. Let me go find out."
"See ya later."
"Roof?"
Here it comes.
"Yeah?"
"If you ever need to talk, ya know, about what's going on, I'd be glad to help ya with it."
"Thanks Bob. I'll remember that."
"Sure. See ya later."
Why don't I just go shout it from the rooftops, Bob? I'd wanted to say. Telling him would be like taking out a full page ad in the Enquirer, right next to the two headed baby and alien abduction stories.
So, who's next, I thought as I headed to the buffet. All this keeping it inside was making me hungry. No, that's a lie. I wasn't thinking a thing about anything. I was just hungry.
Plate in hand, almost finished piling, when I hear...
"Rufus, you handsome god of a man, where have you been keeping yourself?"
So, the big gun was out. Marion. Clams shut at the thought of her. Buttholes became microscopic.
"Marion, dear, you know, I thougth I thought I was hungry for food until I saw you. Let's take five under this table."
"Naughty man. You'd better eat that first, you'll need your strength for me."
"You first, then food."
"But what will your wife say?"
"She's 8 months pregnant. She's be glad for the down time."
"Ahh, so, I heard you know what the little devil is going to be. Care to share? I'd won't tell."
Never. Your face would give you away in a heartbeat. Plus, I think you'd torture her with it, you bitch. Instead I said, "Ah, I'd love to tell you, but..."
"Rufus, you've known me for ages. You can trust me."
"I can tell you, but how can you tell that I'm not lying to you?"
"I can always tell when a man's lying to me."
I bet. Married 4 times. The next one should be her divorce lawyer.
"Be that way, bastard. Don't worry. Keep you're little secret.'
"Marion, don't be that way. I swore I wouldn't let her find out. She wants to be suprised."
"Forget it, I don't want to know anyway."
"We'll all know in a month. It's not so long now. Be surprised."
"I'll be suprised if I still care in a month," she said and turned away.
Scratch one baby gift. Knowing her I'd have to disarm it anyway. Dusty womb, I guess, is what's made her such a bitter person all these years anyway.
I was attacked, cajoled, insulted, bribed and skewered. I was told everything from "I'm you're friend, are you saying you can't trust me?" to "Who cares anyway, it's probably not yours anyway."
You know, I used to love parties. These used to be my friends.
Trust one little secret to bring out the worst in everyone.
Now excuse me, I've got to eat.
And no, I won't tell you either.
She wants to be surprised, remember?
Plus, don't you trust in a little magic? Don't you liked to be a suprised, too?
And I don't really know anyway.
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