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Short Stories

10:15 by Lawrence Peters A short story about fate and speed and the things that bring people together. [713 words]
The Go-Between by David Gardiner Everybody in the big city is looking for something. The trick is to find out what. [1,638 words]
Talent Takes Patience by Andrew Allyn Rasmussen This story is an interview with my next door neighbor, Christopher Beier. He has a treme... [821 words]
All For Her by F Luis Alvarez The ultimate sacrifice for the ultimate love. [834 words]
Winston (Part 4) by Wolfa Continuing story about a pitbull and a crazy woman... I don't really see the need to describe ... [3,116 words]
Till Death Do Us Part by Sorcha Colleran A chilling tale about a grieving husband. [873 words]
The Unwanted Doll by Debbie Bailey A little girl finds a lonely doll to bring home for Christmas. [821 words]
The Serpent by Simon King Beware your sins... [6,543 words]
The Promise by Debbie Bailey A fictional account of a woman caught in the WTC tragedy and the firefighter who rescues her. [2,453 words]
The Official Brown Envelope by Anna J McGuire A short story based on the challenges faced in war, by the men at war, and their wo... [829 words]
T-H-E N-U-T-Hare B-A-R-T-E-R-I-N-G R-A-B-B-I-T K-I-D by Christopher Dark This is a true story about the lives of 4 people I know ve... [2,454 words]
The Music Of The Spheres by Simon King Can you hear that noise...? [3,946 words]
The Little Things In Life by Fiona Shine This is a story told from the wiewpoint of a man who has spent most of his life in pr... [976 words]
The Greatest Gift by Debbie Bailey A woman reunites with the man who got her pregnant 25 years before. [7,498 words]
The Cab by Jeremy Shackleford Four people ride the same taxi at different times and the cabbie realizes between all of them.And in on... [927 words]
Qualities Of A Friend by Andrea Diane Brown John Denton, a high school sophomore, is excited to learn about the new neighbor his age ... [844 words]
Puppy Love by Debbie Bailey Animals do fall in love too! [747 words]
Peripheral Vision by Simon King In some places, the past and the present are very close... [2,838 words]
My Sweetheart by Debbie Bailey A high school student gets his girlfriend pregnant. [12,593 words]
Mightier Than The Sword by Simon King How much do you hate your boss...? [2,506 words]
Melody's Journey by Rose Trimovski It was her journey, her destiny to find the castle and to get the sword that had powers of the... [8,992 words]
Love That Never Dies by Andrea Diane Brown Daniel Jackson lives with his father. Both are having a great deal of trouble overcoming ... [1,273 words]
Finding Fleur by Sue (Sooz) Simpson Katy desperately wants to find Fleur, but does Fleur want to be found? [1,727 words]
False Accusations by Andrea Diane Brown Something's wrong in Sandra Richardson's life, but she just can't figure out what's going on.... [1,304 words]
Dirty Apartment by Sunny Description of my dirty apartment and its cause, me. [756 words]
Deadly Persuit by Sue (Sooz) Simpson Nature at its most cruel .. when it's interfered with by man. [1,541 words]
Dawn Rising by Sue (Sooz) Simpson He looked at his own personal sunrise every morning, yet longed for the warmth of the sun. [1,069 words]
Dark Solitude. by Sue (Sooz) Simpson A woman alone on the moors when a storm threatens, but this is no ordinanry storm and that is no... [1,434 words]
Creeping Up From Behind. by Sue (Sooz) Simpson You can't ever really know what someone else is thinking ... unless they choose to tel... [925 words]
Cold, Cold Night.. by Sue (Sooz) Simpson The night was beautiful but biting, she had to make her final farewells, a cigarette would h... [630 words]
Car Trouble by Sue (Sooz) Simpson Boys will be boys. [496 words]
Breakfast In Bed by Sue (Sooz) Simpson She loved her husband so much, and a sepcial man deserves a special breakfast. [1,633 words]
Barriers by Sue (Sooz) Simpson Everybody's frightened of the prisoner in the cell at the end of the block. [2,913 words]
Bandit At Twelve-O-Clock by Sue (Sooz) Simpson A sinister note drops through her letter box, but who is it from and what's it all abo... [2,144 words]
Attractions by Sue (Sooz) Simpson People stared at the sisters and called them freaks. [678 words]
Apple Of His Eye by Sue (Sooz) Simpson Daddy's little girl, Daddy's little sweetheart. (May be deemed offensive). [1,742 words]
Angel Stew by Sue (Sooz) Simpson The kitchens are in uproar. [826 words]
Agony by Sue (Sooz) Simpson The First in a series of Agony columns written by the unstoppable Aunt Nasty. (May be deemed offensive) [1,200 words]
A Fork In The Road. by Sue (Sooz) Simpson A paradox revolving round the lonely Holker Mosses in the dead of night. [2,835 words]
Madness by Keri McGriff Story based on the life of a woman in the mad house. [593 words]
Thelma's Dilemma by Elwin L Wormwood Thelma Price is about to loose everything she holds dear, until a teenage boy arrives and chan... [3,101 words]
The Medium by Stan A Fowler An engaging and personal battle by an arrogant talk-show host to undermine and expose his guest to r... [4,843 words]
You Verbally Bruise by A Delusion Of Adequacy Just fnding no depth in peope in general. [666 words]
Winston (Part 3) by Wolfa The escaped pitbull forges a partnership with a bum. Meanwhile, the woman Dana believes she h... [2,671 words]
Should Have Would Have, Could Have Been by Alberto Pupo A story of regrets and mistakes.... [638 words]
Observations At An All You Can Eat Buffet Line by Ashley M Smoger Story satirizing Buffet Eaters. [506 words]
Janeska's Story by Ashley Burdett A story of the Holocaust told through a victim's eyes. [5,942 words]
Greatest by A Delusion Of Adequacy The most brutal writing I've ever done. [967 words]
God's Hiding Place by Lawrence Peters - [230 words]
Feng Shui Movers by Kelly Moran My short story involves a reluctant heroine who hides behind new age philosophy instead of tak... [1,922 words]
Dor Omhan by Kai Zi Led "It was... my wife's," Jrudam said, much to Omhan's embarressment, "An earring. I had it made f... [2,810 words]
Describing by A Delusion Of Adequacy The only thing I've written that I like. [532 words]
And Angels Crept. by Duluoz First attempt at writing a novella..(semi-bio)..i'm only two chapters into it but would enjoy... [1,325 words]
Alien Mask by John Barnovsky This is a third-person narration about the encounters of a mountain rescue team with a small clan of... [9,096 words]
The Ticket by Kurt Kitasaki A satire on people who play the lottery. [912 words]
Winston (Part 2) by Wolfa The pitbull, Ripper, plots his escape, and a strange young woman is introduced. [3,397 words]
Winston (Part 1) by Wolfa A brutal, viciously intelligent pit bull -- a champ pitfighter -- makes his way from the dogfi... [3,013 words]
When The Blood Runs Cold by Jack M Brown A murderer surveys his victim, while trying to certify that he has done the right thin... [419 words]
The Medusa Raft by Dimitry Shreders The Medusa Raft is the story of one man ascension from cowardice and personal despair to courag... [7,100 words]
Thanks For Asking by Charles Bishop Twisted Bishop The town that polices it own. [787 words]
Papa by Lawrence Peters For one of the greatest there was. [473 words]
Nympholepsy by Rowen Ravera A bit of prose? attempting to leave the reader aware of violent emotions - particularly relating to... [499 words]
Its A Dog's Life by Ramkumar Menon This story is a poignant description of relationships between human beings. The idea is brough... [1,830 words]
If Not (Dog), Then What? by Jaaffar Munasip A short story of deception and self-believe. [1,344 words]
Devil's Embrace by Black Widow It's an erotic tale of one woman's descent into madness and masochism. [5,139 words]
Boston Blacky by Ken Whan An extended twist on a folk tale. [1,439 words]
An Intimate Conversation With The Powers That Be
When Sylvie Sang by John Kraft A story of love, food and music. [2,030 words]
The Story Of Trading (Featuring Man And Ape) by Rowan Davies 'Tis a humourous tale of the begins of trade. Ape knows the key to... [1,609 words]
The Signal by Tom Campbell What if our search for extraterrestrial intelligence proved fruitful? [876 words]
The Men And The Beast by G Sandberg A descriptive description of the horrors of the D-Day invasion of Normandy. [586 words]
Simple Pleasures In Vegas by R James Hunter One chapter of an in-progress novel. Examines life through one man's ego. [389 words]
Face Your Life by Niall Power Street racing community. [621 words]
Bad Boy by Richard Koss A true story about a bad boy growing up in 1950. Was he just mischievous? Would his behavior be consi... [2,844 words]

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An Intimate Conversation With The Powers That Be
From the mind of the hopeless cynic, comes a very strange but brief look inside the male perspective, females should take a gander. Dedicated to Lea Van Cleef, and my sister Kriistal Tighe, who insipred this piece of prose.
[1,070 words]
Robert G Hagans
I used to be a hopless romantic, your average Lloyd Dobler. But at 19, I'm re-evaluating my life. I am becoming a realist, more like a Rob Gordon. Niether optimistic nor pessimistic (well, I'll try) but sensible. The cosmic connection that I've spent my entire life looking for is probably still out there, I'm just no longer obsessed with finding it. And I'm happy about that. For once in the last year and a half, I'm happy... sort of.

I'm a writer mainly (short stories/screenplays) and an aspiring film maker. I am currently directing a film that I wrote called How to Escape a Black Hole . It's all about the hassles of living in a small town and feeling trapped within. I like to meet other film makers out there doing the same things I'm doing, so drop me a line sometime, ya hear?
[November 2002]
[email protected]
Fade To Light: In The Light Of A Shadow (Short Stories) This is the final chapter of the series. It ties up all the loose ends...for now. It also features the climatic battle between Jessica and Skye. [2,450 words] [Action]
In The Light Of A Shadow (Short Stories) A professional killer tries to escape her violent past...no one said it would be easy. This is just part One. I will post part 2 if I get good feed-back. [3,952 words] [Action]
In The Light Of A Shadow: Showdown In The House Of God (Short Stories) This is the second chapter in the seris about a professional killer tries to escape her past...she doesn't get very far. It is now followed by Fade to Light, the final chapter. [2,561 words] [Action]
Lock-In: A Teen Dramedy (Screenplays) From the person known as The Hopless Cynic, comes a script with a unique take on teen life, more specifically, previous events in my life. I hoped to immortalize it on film, but it was not to be. Enjo... [18,379 words] [Teenage]
The Hopeless Cynic: All That Glitters... (Essays) The Robster on love and relationships...watch your step ladies and gents. Here's to you EC. [995 words] [Comedy]
The Hopeless Cynic: Believing In Believing (Essays) Seems like a good time to submit this. It's not as coherant as some of my other works, but it's my most upbeat. Dedicated to Cameron Crowe, Tom Cruise and Charlie Cotterman. [1,395 words] [Motivational]
The Hopeless Cynic: Let's Get Typical (Essays) It's been forever, but I thought it was time to make a comeback. My latest on the subject of women, love and relationships. Specifically, the first early warning system for guys to discover what type ... [2,288 words] [Comedy]
The Hopless Cynic: Masochistic Summer (Essays) The Robster takes a definitive stake forward in the ongoing battle of the sexes. Women beware, the Robster is on to your game. Dedicated to John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, and the Happy Couple (you... [1,219 words] [Comedy]
The Hopless Cynic: The High School Experience (Essays) After a hiatus, the Robster is back, with a look back at High School. Dedicated to Charlie Cotterman, my beloved theatre class (plus Andy Stilling), J.D. Salinger, Zach Morris, and all the high school... [1,243 words] [Humor]
There Is Hope: The Hopeless Cynic (Essays) Here's a follow up to my last. Enjoy it. The Robster strikes again. Dedicated to Charlie Cotterman and the man formerly known as EC Allen. [985 words] [Comedy]
An Intimate Conversation With The Powers That Be
Robert G Hagans

"I think we should break up with this girl. Non-communication, broken dates, dysfunction, excessive fighting, etc., etc, this is just a bad situation to be in." says the Brain.
"I disagree," says the Heart, "I have strong feelings for her."
"And where else are you gonna get poontang from huh Mr. Smarty Pants? That kinda thing just don't happen every fucking day."
"While I don't agree with your reasoning, Penis, anything to keep you quiet is preferable." The Brain says. He continues, "As for you, Mr. Heart, your logic is constantly flawed by your confounded feelings and so you and I are at a constant impasse."
"Yes, it seems like we never agree," says the Heart with a smile."
"Maybe we should just get drunk for once and then get some new poontang and then see how we really feel, huh guys?! Who�s up for that shit?!"
"God if it weren't for my self preservation protocols, I might consider cutting him off." says the Brain tiredly.
�Oh fuck you Brain, if I wasn�t around to shut you up every once in a while, we�d go insane.�
�He�s right Brain.� Says the Heart.
�Fuck yeah, he is!�
�It�s just that you go on and on�sometimes it�s just incessant chatter. When Penis does his thing, everyone is happy and there is some peace and quiet for a change.�
�Why Mr. Heart, I had no idea you felt that way.�
�It�s not a feeling��
��it�s a fact motherfucker!�
�But he�s right!� insists the Heart. �It�s a plain simple fact.�
�What do YOU know of facts, Mr. Heart?
�Are you saying I am incapable of simple logic?�
�That�s EXACTLY what I�m saying.�
�How dare you!�
�No, how dare you speak to me of facts when your feelings render you incapable of logic of any kind!�
�You�ve got no proof!� says the Heart.
�Okay, who was the one who agreed with Penis to give our Ex (of all people) another chance after that incident Nathan�s party? Who was that? I�m curious.�
�Well�I just��
�Given her past behaviors and nature you could make a prediction, which I did, that it would become common place. But you disagreed, correct?�
The Heart sighs, �Correct.�
�You were not able to spot a FACT when it came along because of what?�
�Oh fuck you Brain, don�t chastise me because you are devoid of anything but analytical jargon, but I do have some semblance of logic. How do you think I decide what love is?�
�I have never quite figured that out Heart, how (and with what flawed logic) do you decide what love is and what isn�t. I thought you just based it on what chemical reaction felt the most like an LSD trip.�
�Damn! Look at the ass on that little Philly. I�d like to tame that wild pony. You know what I�m saying boys?�
�I swear to Christ, Penis! Can�t you just be quiet while the Brain and I have this discussion?�
�Hells no! You wanna talk about love, then you got to involve me.�
�How do you figure, you sorry excuse for an appendage?!�
�Well, wrinkles, it�s like this. When we see a girl, square one, moment one, second one, she gotta catch my eye, y�know, right off the bat, so I can alert the two of you.
�You can�t tell if she�s capable of intelligent conversation, BRAIN, or someone you can fall in love with HEART, just by looking at her. But you can tell whether she�s good enough to get me stiff. It all goes from there baby!�
�Goddammit, I hate when he makes sense!� says the Brain.
�I know,� the Heart agrees. �He�s quite annoying when he does that.�
�See, I�m logical too,� says the Penis. �I got the best of all worlds.�
�Somehow I doubt that.�
�Oh yeah, Brain. Well when you get old, crazy and got Alzheimer�s, I�ll still be able to pop up occasionally to scare the ol� grandkids. Heh heh.�
�Only if I remember to take my Viagra.�
�Oooh, nice comeback Brain!�
�Thank you, Mr. Heart.�
�You�re welcome.�
�But you still didn�t answer my question.� The Brain says.
�About love?�
�I will, as long as I�m NOT INTERUPTED AGAIN!�
�Hey man, I made my point, you two go ahead and do your thing. I�m gonna get so stiff this cutie next to us won�t be able to ignore the tent in my boy�s pants. Look at that rack!�
�Anyway, Mr. Heart, you were saying��
The Heart ponders for a moment. �Love is�unity.�
�What do you mean?�
�I mean between us. I mean yes there are emotions involved. Bliss, hope, wonder, contentment��
��You�re describing a state of euphoria.�
�Yes, but it comes from the unity.�
�Unity of what?�
�Of�us. The three of us content in our own specific ways with the being of our affection.�
�I noticed you used the word �being� instead of �object�.�
�Women are not objects Brain.�
�I wish that this girl next to us would grab THIS OBJECT.�
�Don�t give into him Brain. You do that too much already. Don�t let him get the better of you.�
�I am better than him.�
�Shut up, Penis.�
�Heh heh.� The Penis laughs.
�You�re right Heart, I shouldn�t let the Penis rattle me so. And I think at this point, I agree with your �logic� on love. It seems truly sound. The unity of us all releases a feeling�a general state of Euphoria, causing what you call love.�
�Ha! Have you heard my new euphemism for it?�
�Ah yes, the �cosmic connection.� And yes, I do grasp the possible humor there.�
�I don�t see what�s so fucking funny.�
�You wouldn�t, you ignorant reaction to hormones.�
�And proud of it.�
�Ugh. But that still doesn�t solve our problem gentlemen. Are we going to break up with this girl or not?�
�Well if we go on Heart�s definition, even though I likes to get my Willie whacked, we certainly aren�t �in sync� with all that cosmic connection bullshit, if we�re doin� all this bitchin�.�
�He has a point, Heart.�
�I know. It�s just I had become attached to this girl, because sometimes we were in sync, but it never lasts.�
�So she�s not The One,� says the Penis.
The Heart is taken aback. �What do you know of The One, Penis?�
The Penis is evasive. �I know enough.� Then he adds, �I know that when we find her, she�s gonna fit me like a glove. Oh yeah, baby!�
�Pity�I thought for a moment that there might be some hope left for The Penis.�
�Don�t count him out yet, Brain. He may just surprise you.�
�Can we just make the damn phone call and break up with this girl so we can drop this?!�
�By all means, Penis, by all means.� Says the Brain.
�Yes�lets.� The Heart sighs.

The End




"Much better" -- The Advisor.
"Rob, I'm certain that Lea would've appreciated your dedication to her if she were still with us. So I wish to thank you in her place." -- The Advisor.
"brilliant and funny. oh how you have expressed what the rest of us only mumble in our heads- hearts, dicks?... p.s who the hell is the advisor?" -- Jorge Freire.
"Well, since Rob never answered the question posed by this rather rude, Jorge Freire, I suppose I will. Quite simply I am the Advisor, and for better or worse I am the only advisor that the Storymania site has, though I work in an unofficial capacity. For your information Jorge, or for anyone else who ever reads this, and actually cares, I have followed Robert Hagan's work for quite some time now, because once long ago he asked me to, and I have kept that promise. Now and again, I re-read the work to see if I might be able to further my commentary in some constructive way, or just to see what other commentary has occurred to his work. Rob specifically mentioned dedicating this work to Lea VanCleef, who was an acquaintence of both of ours, and who has since tragically died due to a vehicular homicide. I had mentioned this to Rob in this very review column, to inform him that he was writing posthumous praise for her. When Rob made some corrections to this work, my other comments were deleted. The comments that I made afterward refer to that first review. That is who the hell the Advisor is.--The Advisor" -- JA St.George.


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© 2002 Robert G Hagans
January 2002

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