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Star Saga: A Clash Of Empires
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Star Saga: A Clash Of Empires
Sequel to my sci fi scipt "Star Saga: Swarm of the Bulgata," which came after the script "Star Saga." Two months have passed since the conflict on the colony of Dorridion ended, and now the Earth Empire finds itself in a titanic struggle with the Bulgata Empire. Two very potent forces will clash for a good deal of the marbles in this one.

Meanwhile, the love triangle between Langdon Hughes and Iris Grisham, both of Omega Squadron's Omega Elite force, and Monafia Dalaysis, princess of the alien planet of Unisee deepens. Who will Langdon choose? These answers and more in what I hope you will find to be a fantastic read.

This script too I feel is easily the best in my Star Saga series so far. Let me know if I'm wrong or right. Inspiration comes from the likes of Star Wars, Star Trek, and Final Fantasy...

I know it's long, but maybe if you've read the other scripts just read a page a day or something. I need to know what I have to work on to get better. My first "Star Saga" script got lots and lots of reviews, but that was back when Storymania was a different entity *sigh*

[22,716 words]
Science Fiction
Michael Harris
African American male. Accepted Christ as savior as I have been born again since August 1st of 2002. I have been writing on and off for about 10 years though I'm pretty determined to keep at it this time.
[August 2012]
[email protected]
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"Sounds pretty good so far.I've only read page one.Lots of dramatic action,starting out.I'll read more,another night. It's long." -- Willie Travis Jr, B.R.
"Hey man, thanks for taking time out to read it. I appreciate it. Also, about your scripts, I noticed that when you reposted a few of them, you left out some words or like things in the title. For "Odyssey of the Guardians," if you change it to "The Odyssey of the Guardians," you'll get all your reviews back. And I'm not too sure about your second script, "The Sword of Light," but I think you had it like this, "The Odyssey of the Guardians: The Sword of Light," so you'd need to place the colon to get your reviews back. Hope it helps." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI.
"Thanks a lot. I had to repost them,after i updated some things on The Oydssey of the Guardians,part one.Somehow part one story content, got merged into Armageddon's story content. I am going to try that,thanks a lot.I'm going to finish reading your new title soon.Thanks again. new story" -- Willie Travis Jr, Baton Rouge, La.
"Well, i finally got around to reading your latest installment of Star Saga.It is very good, but just so long.It felt like sitting through a Jerry Bruckheimer production( namely Bad Boys 2)but don't get me wrong, bb2,is a long bad action flick.This script is a lot better,than bb2!I just mean,it's similar in length.But the plot is well thought out.But i do have some criticism:The order to assassinate the royal couple,Fedos and Fedora,sounded kind of harsh,coming from one of the commanders, of the omega squadron. You would have thought,they would have held, some sort of trial for them.To me,it would have seemed,more better for Langdon and co,and his superiors, to take the high road,and ordered them: Fedos AND Fedora, to surrender.And then,had the Antagonists,refuse(as always)and escalate the conflict further,themselves. 2: I feel that there,were to many step by step fight break downs.I have read,that one should try to avoid, a step by step fight break down. Because if your script, is ever bought,the stuntmen,are going to stage and choreograph the fight.So it's best to just write" they fight" and if the fight is long,it can be something along the lines,of like for Example: "After a long,skilled,and difficult battle,our hero,liu kang defeats Shao Khan."I mean that saves you,a lot of pages,so that you can further,focus on plot development,dialogue,and try to get a much tighter,and shorter script.But it is okay,to keep some of the fight details,in the script.Only if it,is a key device.Like for example,: "After a long and Vicious lightsaber duel,Darth Vader sends Luke crashing through an observational window,by way of the force."So all i did, was take out a lot of unneccessary fight desciptions,and used a key word like "vicious" to describe a very intense battle.We let the reader use his imagination,of the moves employed, by both fighters. And yet in the end,i kept the key device"by way of the Force", so in the end, we know he used the force, to " kick luke's butt.So that way, the stuntmen stage the physical combat,but yet your idea, to use the force,stays the key subject.But what can i say? My last script, even went beyond 120 pages.So, thats that. But overall, i enjoyed the story. And i could feel the emotional tension,between Iris and Langdon.And i sense, that you could also,branch out with a possible fourth installment, of the franchise, by bringing the Son,of the Late Fedos and Fedora,into the limelight. Him coming back decades later, when Langdon is an old man,coming back to take Revenge, on the Unisee and the Human Empire responsible, for killing his Parents.But overall, it was quite enjoyable.I am an avid fan of sci fi and fantasy,and they need more good writers out there,to bring new ideas and breathe new life into the genre. I am working on another,script myself,but its nowhere close,to being finished yet.It's another space opera,im endeavoring to craft. Hopefully i will have it finished, by next year. i look forward to reading, your next work.Until next time then." -- willie travis jr, baton rouge, la.
"Wow, what a review! First let me say thanks for taking the time out to read my script. I really appreciate it. Like I said in the title description, I know it's long. I had actually endeavored to make this script 120 pages but it was difficult for me to shorten it without telling the story how it was outlined, as I had to juggle several seperate subplots from the previous script(the slaves on Bulgata, the story of the cadets on Delta Moon Base, and the main story arc this time refocusing on Langdon and his cohorts, as well as the resolving of the love triangle). This is only my third script however, and there was years and years between the writing of the first Star Saga and the second (I wrote the original back in 2000) while I only spent about four or five months to write A Clash of Empires after Swarm of the Bulgata. Now on to your criticisms. I had decided early on that this would be the last script in my series involving Fedos and Fedora, and an assasination seemed like the right way to go. I didn't think while writing it that it would seem kinda harsh, but seeing as how it rubbed you that way perhaps others would feel the same. This will be something I think about during a rewrite of the entire trilogy (once I get better at writing scripts and just telling a story in general). If you think about what happened in the first script though, the Bulgata had attacked Earth and eliminated all surface life, so maybe it could be interpreted that the leader of the Earth Empire, Czar Shepard, felt like he needed to just eliminate them instead of offering to put them on trial. I guess it would be kind of like how we are trying to kill Osama Bin Laden instead of giving him a trial. But I do see your point and if you felt that way then maybe others would as well. In terms of the second critcism, yeah, there were a lot of step by step fight descriptions. I had done a bit of research on this aspect of screenwriting and discovered that some screenwriters do it that way and others let the choreographer do it. It would be a heck of a lot easier to just let the choreographer do so, so I'll most definitely try to temper that for my next script. Yeah, and you are right about my plans for a sequel to this story. But I don't know if I want to start that far down the time line for the next script (when Feros, Fedos and Fedora's son, as an adult) or if I want to immediately just have another trilogy focusing on the beginnings of some kind galactic alliance between the Earth Empire and all of the liberated peoples. If I go this route I will probably focus on the resistance the remaining Bulgata colonies pose after the defeat of the commanding couple. But again, I haven't decided on which route to take yet, even though I have a few ideas jotted down for some kind of sequel. Oh, and I'll most certainly be looking forward to your next submission as always. I'm currently working on a script that is fantasy in nature this time. I haven't actually started writing the script yet, but I've got a good idea of the direction I'm going to go in and I've got lots of different character and location names and scenarios. I actually prefer fantasy to science fiction, but this will be my first attempt at a fantasy script, so I'll see how that goes. And I also managed to get a job so I'll be able to buy some books focusing on how to write screenplays. Hopefully that pays off in the end. Ok, this has been way too long. Hope this finds you well and thanks again for taking the time out to read my script. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI.
"Hey,sorry about writing such a long review,of your script. Once i get going,i get going,heh heh. But i understand,what you mean,about length.Sometimes in order to tell,a story, the way you envision it,you have to break some of the rules.That's artistic freedom.And i also prefer fantasy, over sci fi.(It's easier to write) You dont have to worry, about the nuts and bolts,of Space travel,and Weapons and stuff.Currently,i am working,on a tale,which for now,is titled:"The Vengeance of Exodus" But don't expect this,one any time soon. well,keep up the good work.Look forward to your next post " -- willie travis jr, baton rouge, Louisiana.
"Hey michael.Just saying hello.i haven't been writing anything lately.been so busy.Any new stories on the way? you are pretty good at your craft.Haven't beeen on this site in a while.seems pretty dead.Oh and sorry bout that long review,of your script last time.well anyway,until next time." -- willie, baton rouge, la, usa.
"Hey man. It's good hearing from you again. I had a couple of projects that I was working on, but I've put them on hold for the time being. It's like over the years I've started and stopped writing for long periods of time, and it's like I'm at that point of my life again. I don't think the Lord wants me to write at the very least until I get grounded in knowing the Bible (ie his Word) and then I could write Christian fiction. Or at the least that is my hope. Yeah this place is pretty dead, a lot of people are posting mostly songs, very few fiction or screenplay writers are here." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI.
"Hey Michael,whats up?! hope everything has been going well,since we last talked.I have finished up,my latest script,titled:The Strange affair of Master Thomas Wilkerson.Its a supernatural slavery tale,set in the waning days,of the antebellum south.check it out,if you like.until next time." -- willie travis jr, baton rouge, la, usa.
"Yeah I see that you posted it in New Titles. I should be able to get to it on Friday, as I don't work on Friday. Until then, take care." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI.
"Thanks for reveiwing my latest script.Glad you liked it.until next time." -- willie travis jr, baton rouge, la, usa.


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© 2008 Michael Harris
October 2008

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