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TITLE (EDIT)
Cubie |
DESCRIPTION
This is a revised version of a scene I had written for my sitcom "McDaniel's" (a sitcom about the fast food industry). I wrote this version for possible use in a student project I had agreed to help with. That student project was a mock-informercial about a product called Cubie, a 9-step program to success. This scene ended up being deleted before production. Still a little amuusing, though.
[346 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Comedy |
AUTHOR
Nathan Weaver |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
Oops; somehow I erased this. Bum wrap. I'll update it later. Right now, I'm peeved.
[December 2006] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
dansmasa3k@hotmail.com |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (9)
A True Story About A Very Young And Naive Nathan Weaver (Short Stories) The title says it all. A short, true story about myself from childhood. Ah, Innocence, where have you gone? [346 words] [Comedy]
Family Secret (Screenplays) This is a short film in the fasion of "The Twilight Zone." [1,056 words]
Inbox (Short Stories) The first in a series of short horror stories. I can't say much without spoiling anything. Just check it out. [688 words] [Horror]
Inbox 2 (Short Stories) The second in the series. The roommate. [1,081 words] [Horror]
Mcdaniel's (Screenplays) "McDaniel's" is a sitcom I've been working on for a while. It revolves around characters working in a restaurant called McDaniel's. The two main characters (thus far) are Natalie and Brandy. This i... [1,776 words] [Comedy]
Noir - Sadistic (1) (Short Stories) Noir styled first-person narrative. A man beaten, recalls how he came to where he is and describes it all in a word... Sadistic. More to come. [690 words] [Crime]
Rose's Thorn: Rise And Fall Of A Hero (Novels) UPDATED 11-06-06. ADDED CHAPTERS 8-10. This is a story that is very personal to me in a lot of ways, despite it's obvious fiction. A young girl expresses herself and tells her story, as she tries t... [6,097 words] [Fantasy]
The Legend Of The Commodore: And Hell Followed With Him (Short Stories) A young boy with a talent turns fantasy to reality and becomes legend. [1,133 words] [Fantasy]
Untitled Noir Tv Pilot (Drafting) (Screenplays) Basically, Mercedes Masterson is a private detective and this the first pilot. The character comes from a film noir trilogy I'm working on. We've filmed the first, half-way through filming the secon... [998 words] [Crime]
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Cubie
Nathan Weaver
AN OFFICE. ENTER NATALIE, ELDERLY GENTLEMAN sits behind the desk.
NATALIE
Hello, sir. (shakes ELDERLY GENT’S hand as he rises)
ELDERLY GENT
Natalie, is it?
NATALIE
Uh, yes, sir.
ELDERLY GENT
Do have a seat.
SHE SITS.
NATALIE
Thank you, sir.
ELDERLY GENT
A few questions about your resume, which I read… a little.
NATALIE
Shoot… sir.
ELDERLY GENT
Are you secure in… what’s the word? Secure in your…
NATALIE’S jaw is on the floor, afraid of the obvious innuendo.
NATALIE
What letter does it start with?
ELDERLY GENT
I believe it starts with an “S”. Yes, that’s right. Are you secure in your… your…
NATALIE
(regretfully fills in the blank) Sexuality, sir?
ELDERLY GENT
No… no. PHOTOGRAPHY! It wasn’t an “S’. That’s what was getting me. (PAUSE) Sexuality? (grunts in disgust)
NATALIE
(eager now to makeup) Yes.
ELDERLY GENT
Would you consider yourself a virgin?
NATALIE
I’m not sure I understand what you are getting at?
ELDERLY GENT
(to the point) Are you a virgin? (awkward pause) Would you consider yourself a veteran?
NATALIE
I… do I have to answer this?
ELDERLY GENT
Just a simple question.
NATALIE
I wouldn’t consider myself a veteran, no… I’m a virgin.
ELDERLY GENT
Well, then why would I want to hire you?
NATALIE
YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HIRE ME BECAUSE I’M A VIRGIN!?
ELDERLY GENT
Plenty of other WELL qualified applicants have already been in this office.
NATALIE
Just let me get one thing straight before I walk out that door and SUE YOU. Are we talking about my experience as a photographer or are we talking about my sex life?
ELDERLY GENT
(shocked) SEX?! Of all the cockamamie—
FREEZE FRAME. Letters appear on screen, “BAD.”
NARRATOR VOICE OVER
Never be caught making this mistake. Remember, the employer is always right. Now, let’s back up and try that again with a little help from Cubie..
BACK TO NATALIE making entrance.
NATALIE
Sup?
ELDERLY GENT
Natalie, is it?
NATALIE
Right on.
ELDERLY GENT
Do have a seat.
SHE SITS.
NATALIE
Don’t mind if I do.
ELDERLY GENT
A few questions about your resume, which I read… a little.
NATALIE
Try me.
ELDERLY GENT
Are you secure in… what’s the word? Secure in your…
NATALIE
Absolutely.
ELDERLY GENT
Would you consider yourself a virgin?
NATALIE
Absolutely not.
ELDERLY GENT
I like you, Kid.
NATALIE
I can’t see why!
ELDERLY
You’re hired!
NATALIE turns and looks at the camera.
NATALIE
I had to sell my soul, but now I’m rolling in cash. Thanks, Cubie, I owe ya one… well, millions actually.
END SCENE
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2006 Nathan Weaver |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
November 2006 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1880
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