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Ode De Toilette
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Ode De Toilette
[153 words]
Richard Lynch
[July 2000]
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The Housecat (Poetry) - [40 words]
The Saga Of Douglas Cliche - Part One (Poetry) Part one of a series. [243 words]
Waiting For You (Poetry) - [164 words]
Ode De Toilette
Richard Lynch

When speaking of inventions
People talk about the wheel
They also mention sliced bread
Which can brighten any meal
But I am here to tell you
Of a boon to your abode
Because I'm a huge proponent
Of the thing we call commode

If you ponder long enough
I know that you will see
A toilet is much more than just
A place where you can pee
It's a throne of solitude
A place to sit and think
And most importantly of all
A bowl for dogs to drink

And then there's the convenience
Which is something you should note
For a bathroom, not an outhouse
Means you need not don a coat
Just imagine in the winter
When you're very wont to freeze
It is not the greatest setting
To expose your legs and knees

Yes, the toilet is essential
And it's central to our lives
We all have our human functions
Be we husbands, kids, or wives
I am sorry to offend you
I don't mean to make you blush
Even kings and queens use toilets
When they need a royal flush



"Richard, this was great! I love it - read it out loud to my co-workers! Great job!" -- Jennifer Nobile Raymond, New York, NY.
"Wow, that was... um, I LIKED it! What can I say, Richard... you've opened up a whole new world to my young mind. What's next? Idea flash: Ode de Urinal!" -- Kimberly De Liz.
"Actually, I came up with this poem from the title. I wanted to do an ode, and eau de toilette popped into my mind, so I went from there." -- Richard Lynch.
"Rich, not sure were you come up with this stuff, but all i did was laugh. Very origianl. Good job. :-) " -- Heather , Wayne , Pa .
"Absolutely a favorite "Lynch poem" of mine! As I know in Belguim "Mannequin Pis" is a favorite statue (of a a little boy peeing in the middle of the road, in the middle of nowhere, with nowhere else to go", the value of the commode is a process of our life. The funny part of a poem like this is to point out that this is one "common denominator" between all animals... No animal in the animal kingdom is "better or worse" than another when it comes to the realization that we all "go to the bathroom" and "everyone's s---t stinks"... no human being better.... no human being worse... just a fact of life and life's true meaning of equality. And when it comes to comparisons and "keeping up with the Joneses", this is one area of life that there will not be true competition... >> Richard, people who are offended may be those that think their "s---" doesn't stink... Well, it does... and your poem does not.. its brilliant! and its down to basics and makes us think ... and appreciate a fact of life ...>> " -- H.J.Scherrer, Marietta, GA, USA.
"I just finished writing a poem about MR. Profanity and urinal mouth is included; I found your poem so enjoyable and we have a similar sense of humor. As I crochet on the train, they aked, what are you making- proud to say COMMODE COVER,feast your eyes. " -- esthermaria weeks, NY, NY, USA.
"Very clever and true. Brings me back to my thoughts of where in the world did they 'do it' before they were invented. I've been watching those Biblical movies because it's Easter so I pause to reflect...the importance of the toilet." -- Sandy Daley, Los Angeles, Calif., U.S.A.


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© 2000 Richard Lynch
July 2000

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