TITLE (EDIT) The Laundry Opera: Jean And Mags Meet
DESCRIPTION
Sometimes people just don't know when to stop, do they? In this excert from "The Laundry Opera", Mags (a major busybody) is on a mission to know everything that isn't her business about Jean. Jean, who has better things on her mind, just wants to do her laundry in peace. [1,025 words]
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
Well... this was my first submission, but I forgot about this place and lost track of my password. Well, I'm back under "Nathan Weaver" and I will be submitting titles under that name. Look forward to any critiques and comments. If anyone ever wants to perform the scene or has performed it, just shoot me an E-mail. I had no idea so many people were reading this thing. It's just nice to keep track of it. Thanks. [June 2006]
The Laundry Opera: Jean And Mags Meet Nathan Aaron Weaver
Setting: the laundry mat in the wee small hours of the morning. Jean sits and reads a magazine while her clothes wash. Mags enters and gets a washer next to Jean.
Mags: You are new around here, aren’t you? Why come so early? Do you like getting up early or something?
Jean: No. I don’t like worms, but I hate birds even more. So, I get the worm just to spite the birds.
Mags: Oh, so you’ve already met Milo.
Jean: How did you know that?
Mags: You are a newcomer and the only time a newcomer is bitter is if they have met Milo. Whatcha reading?
Jean: Girly Stuff magazine, an article called “Dump the loser, Girlfriend.” It’s in response to a reader who had a jerk as a boyfriend.
Mags: Has there ever been a boyfriend that wasn’t a jerk?
Jean: Good point.
Mags: Listen up, don’t read that crap. All you ever needed to know, you’ll learn from me. (takes magazine and rips it up)
Jean: Hey, that’s mine!
Mags: Oh, I’ll pay you the dollar and quarter you used to buy it.
Jean: What is with you people?
Mags: What?
Jean: Every time I come in here, some psycho comes up and starts telling me how to live my life and what I’m made of.
Mags: You’re an open book, honey.
Jean: What’s that suppose to mean?
Mags: Forget it. My name is Mags. Everybody here calls me aunt Mags, because they all come to me for advice.
Jean: Look, Mags. I don’t want to hear anything, but the washing machine and later the dryer. So, you can run your stinking mouth off somewhere else. I will not play audience to a stinking freak who likes to jump on her stinking soapbox in front of complete strangers! You can take your advice and shove it! All right? Just lay off.
Mags: Feel better? I can tell that you’ve needed to get that crap off your chest. I bet you feel refreshed, don’t you?
Jean: Buzz off. Fly away. Leave me alone. Migrate.
Mags: You feel better, though?
Jean: You know what? I’d feel a whole lot better if you would shut up. Oh, better yet, just go to the other side of the stinking laundry mat.
Mags: Yell at me.
Jean: What?
Mags: When I was your age—
Jean: SHUT UP!
Mags: Well?
Jean: You’re right. That did feel pretty good. Now leave me alone.
Mags: Please tell me you did not go out on a date with Milo.
Jean: I don’t know you.
Mags: Did you or didn’t you?
Jean: Stranger.
Mags: Come on.
Jean: I don’t wish to talk to you.
Mags: Naturally. Yes or no?
Jean: Yes! Happy?
Mags: No.
Jean: Good grief. Would you lay off, already.
Mags: Milo is a charm-out-cold guy.
Jean: What?
Mags: He’ll charm you, take you out, and then drop you cold. Sound familiar?
Jean: Much too much. Now, go write a letter to dear Abby and tell her what she is doing wrong.
Mags: Let me tell you about Milo—
Jean: No! You will not tell me about Milo. I don’t care about Milo. I don’t care about you. I don’t care. I don’t care. Oh, and yes, I don’t care! So, I’m pretty much just careless.
Mags: Milo actually comes from a rich family—
Jean: Just one more load, woman. So, please, do you mind?
Mags: You need to know about Milo. He’s a real butt-wipe. You need to stay away from him. You hear me? Stay away from Milo.
Jean: Does it look like I’m hanging off his body? Are we playing footsey? A little too much PDA for you? He’s nowhere around. Get a grip and mind your own.
Mags: I have seen many a girl get caught in the messed up, fiasco web of Milo. I refuse to watch it again. Okay? I like you. You seem like a really nice girl. I’d hate to see you get hurt.
Jean: I’d hate to see you get hurt.
Mags: What’s that suppose to mean?
Jean: It means if you don’t shut up I am going to kill you.
Mags: Okay, look. Obviously, you don’t wish to talk about Milo right now. So—
Jean: No? Ya think? Wow, aunt Mags! You are really smart. It boggles my mind. How can somebody be so extremely smart? Einstein had nothing on you.
Mags: Are you mocking me?
Jean: Pretty much. Now if you don’t mind… oh, wait. I don’t care. My laundry is done. I am going to pick it up. Then, I am going to the dryer that is located on the other side of the laundry mat. I will dry my clothes in peace. I will read my fragmented magazine and mind my own. When my laundry is done I will fold it, put it in a cart, wheel it out to my car, unload it into my car, put the cart back in here, walk out to my car, and leave. All by myself.
Mags: You’re in love with Milo, aren’t you?
Jean: Yes, I am; but I think it is purely upon attraction. The feeling that I feel for him feels exactly like what I felt for Hitler. Which I found out later that it was merely infatuation!
Mags: Don’t deny it. The worst thing you can do is deny it.
Jean: I don’t love him. I don’t love him. Oh, did I tell you? I don’t love Milo! I don’t love him. I do not love him.
Mags: It is going to come back upon you worse, now. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.
Jean: I am going to do what I want to do. You are going to do what you want to do. I am going to live my own life. You are going to live your own life. Okay? Sound like a plan? (Mags starts to speak) Stop. That’s the way it is going to be. You don’t have a say in the matter. All right? No! I don’t care what you have to say. You have no choice. I am leaving. That’s what I am doing. I am going over there. Alone. That’s what I am doing. I am going away from you. So, tootles, aunt Mags. Here’s to hoping that we never meet again. Ha, ha. (exits)
Mags: She’s in love with him. Milo, Milo, Milo. What have you done, old boy? (she goes about her laundry washing… lights fade out)
READER'S REVIEWS (3) DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"I'd like to see some connection between Mags and Milo. How does she know so much about him? Maybe she's his Ex or his aunt or mother??? And why the need to "save" Jean from Milo? Maybe she has known the fate of all of his Ex's. Or maybe they all come into the laundry mat and talk about when they were in love w/Milo...at the beginning. Also it starts out w/Jean being "new" to the laundrymat, but later why does Jean say "every time she comes in here"...sounds like she's not new. Also, what is it about Jean and for that matter, all the women that have dated Milo...the loser...what is it about that kind of person that draws "jerks" into their life? Nobody comes away learning anything from their experience in the play so far. I think you need more characters so the audience can think its a common meeting place" for the "neighborhood love gossip". Also we need to know what it is about Milo that seems to attact the women to him. Maybe he's a body builder, contruction worker, maybe he's the only neighborhood bachelor??? I have never written a play so please don't take any of this too serious...I'm sure your the expert. " -- Marie, sacramento, usa, ca.
"Well, Nathan, you already know my feelings on this...I just wanted to point out to Marie from Sacramento that this is an EXCERPT, not the entire play. It is understandable, therefore, that the reader may be confused if trying to read the lines as the whole play. There are many other scenes to this that are not posted, so to all others who read this, take into consideration that it is only one scene. I performed a cutting of this scene as an oral interperetation, and it was received very, very well by my audience." -- Crystal, MO, USA.
"I thought this was good but if I was going to see I would want see some action." -- J Harris.
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