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The Darkened Kingdom Chapter 1
Two kingdoms lived in harmony for more than a century. Suddenly one kingdom came under attack. Who launched the attack? Why did they do it? A young man will be thrust into the threads of fate in order to conquer the evil that is about to engulf his world.
[1,366 words]
Ed Wang
You may call me "Ed" due to the fact that everyone else calls me this. I enjoy every kind of fiction ranging from mystery to science fiction. Although I enjoy all types of fiction, I prefer fantasy fiction. Some of my favorite books are fantasy such as The Eragon Trilogy, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, Inkheart, The Lord of the Rings, and many others that do not come to mind. Ever since reading my first fantasy book, I've always wanted to do something of the sort and now I would like to see if I have the talent to do so. This is my first story, The Darkened Kingdom and I would appreciate any comments, whether bad or good but please try and be polite. Thank you for your time.

Many Thanks,
[December 2006]
[email protected]
The Darkened Kingdom Chapter 0: Prologue (Novels) Two kingdoms lived in harmony for more than a century. Suddenly one kingdom came under attack. Who launched the attack? Why did they do it? A young man will be thrust into the threads of fate in order... [454 words] [Fantasy]
The Darkened Kingdom Chapter 1
Ed Wang

Chapter 1: The Encounter

A lone man stood in a pile of corpses with his hand holding one of the many unfortunate souls that dared challenged him by the throat. Blood stained the castle walls as the kingdom burst into flames. The darkened night was lightened by the flames and screams exploded from every direction. The man cracked the throat he was holding with a twist of his wrist and turned his head to reveal an evil and menacing smirk across his face. Demons surrounded him with obedience and kneeled before him. The lone man then laughed a sinister laugh and it echoed into the night sky.

“Noooo!!” Leroy screamed as he awoke from his deep sleep. He held his face with his hand and heard footsteps running toward his room.

The door flew open as a young woman came running in. “What happened?” The girl worriedly asked as she looked around fiercely.

“It’s nothing Vienna, just that dream again,” Leroy said calmly.

Vienna frowned at the problem. “Sheesh had me worried for no reason. Tomorrow is another day of work so you’d better get some sleep,” She shut the door quietly as she walked back into her room.

Leroy plopped his head onto his pillow and closed his eyes hoping to sleep that night.

        By the time morning came along, Leroy did not get much sleep. Nevertheless he was ready for the day ahead of him. The sun shined brightly through the windows and the flowers outside were at full bloom. The horses in the stable on the outside were eager to enjoy the weather. Leroy had finished his breakfast and took a step outside to take in the warmth of the sun. His long, red hair shined brighter in the sun as it blew in the gentle breeze. He was at average height with black sharp eyes. Walking into the stable, he grabbed a bucket full of hay and dropped them for each of the horses. On his way out, he saw Vienna’s amulet on the table next to her traveling cloak. Leroy picked it up and held it in the air. It was too dark in the stable to see much of the amulet so he headed outside to get a better look at it. He sat down and held it up in the sky. The amulet was an emerald incased in a circular shaped container with diamonds on the outside surrounding it in a circle. Connecting with the amulet was a golden chain with the sun’s light reflecting off. Looking closer, some kind of language could be seen inscribed around the emerald. “Vienna…I still remember the first time we met.” He said to himself.

        Thinking back to that afternoon, the brightness of the sun created a sparkling effect from the leaves of the trees allowing light in the forest. Father had told Leroy to get back around this time. If he didn’t get back soon enough, he would get into deep trouble. Father had always had a cold but loving attitude. He has dark brown hair with dark blue eyes. He was both wise and strong. Skilled with a sword and the power to control the elements, he was a famous general when he was younger. Not only did he know how to fight, he knew how to cook very well and he wanted Leroy to go fetch ingredients for dinner.

The sun slowly hid itself from the land of Midgard as Leroy finished gathering materials for his father. In the night sky, the majestic glow lightened the forest creating shadows. Shortly after, storm clouds covered the moon and thunder crackled across the sky. Leroy looked up with worry as he placed the last of the mushrooms needed into his pouch. He started to run back to the cottage until he heard fast footsteps behind him. Father had always told him to be careful while he was out in the woods for there were many dangers that lurked there.

Leroy spun around and drew his short sword just as he was taught to do so. Sweat drops flowed from his forehead down to his chin as he held his sword and pouch trembling. He looked around nervously for he had never been in real combat before. He heard a shuffle in the nearby bushes and looked in the direction of the sound. Thunder roared and flashed as Leroy’s heart started to beat faster. Suddenly, a shadow of a figure jumps into the sky from behind the bushes. The shadow figure then dropped down onto the wet green grass in front of Leroy. Leroy fell against the wet tree trunk shaking violently.

It opened its eyes revealing its red eyes and gray skin. It had razor sharp claws and two horns on top of its head with its sharpened teeth dripping saliva. “What ever is the matter little boy?” the demon said in a joking but menacing way.

Leroy quickly grabbed his sword from the ground and yelled in a horrified and shaky voice, “S-stay away! I’m warning you!”

The demon licked its saliva up and raised its claws to strike,” Hehe, brave to the end eh? You will make a lovely snack!”
Leroy covered his face with his arms but instead of the sound of the claw, he heard the sound of a log hitting the floor instead. When Leroy opened his eyes, he saw the demon lying on the floor with an arrow driven between its eyes. A split second later, a young woman with long blond hair reaching down to her waist and a slender body leaped onto the grass in front of Leroy. Her eyes were the color of the Cerulean skies and she was wearing a gray cloak covering most of her body.

“Hurry, come with me.” She grabbed hold of Leroy’s hand and led him through the forest towards the cottage. At the edge of the forest, Vienna and Leroy passed a shadow figure moving in the opposite direction. Before they could turn around to see what the shadow was, the figure was behind the two and hit Vienna hard in the back knocking her unconsciously onto the floor.

Leroy was knocked against another tree trunk close by.

“That fool allowed you to escape? What an idiot. I will not make the same mistake!” The demon licked its lips and raised its claws into the air preparing to strike her. Leroy quickly thought to himself, This is my chance to run! I must get away! Leroy hurried to his feet and turned to run but hesitated. But she saved me! I must at least try and help her! The demon poised its claws in position. But I’m too scared to fight back, I don’t want to die! “Goodbye!” The demon licked its lips as it dropped its claws, cutting deep into human flesh.

A scream echoed throughout the woods. On all fours, he hovered over the girl bleeding. I’m going to die but at least it’s a noble deed, Leroy grinned, and at least it’s for a pretty girl.

The young woman returned to consciousness seeing Leroy protecting her. “Finally, you-you’re awake.”

Leroy bit back the pain as the demon continued to dig deeper into his flesh. “Why are you doing this?” She asked in a shocked voice.

“I…owe you one, don’t I?” The demon cursed as it pulled its claw out of the
body. Leroy fell to the ground next to her gasping for breath and wincing in extreme pain. “Your name…what is it?”

The young woman rolled away from the next claw strike thrown at her. She rose back onto her feet as she replied, “The name is Vienna.”
Leroy smiled, Vienna…please stay alive, he thought as he began to black out. Vienna quickly went to retrieve her bow but was intercepted by the demon.
“What a hero. A stupid hero though. He had an opportunity to run but he chose death and will die along with you elf! The demon raised its claws again for a second strike. “Now there is no one to save you or your little friend.” As the demon smiled, Vienna screamed and covered her face with her arms.



"Your book is great and i can't wait for the next instalment. I too am a writter. Your storyline is great I feel it is a good deccision to start with a mystery. Howver, you do need to work on your orginization and how you introduce new characters. I got confused when you talked about Vienna, didn't he already know her? Your story is great and you just need to work out a few kinks. Good luck and I was also thinking maybe we could create a seperate storie togehter and incorperate both our ideas, it might be cool." -- Aden, Ca.
"This story definitely has potential. The introduction of the characters also had me slightly confused, but with critiquing, this story could take flight. I also enjoyed the vivid detail used in the mid and last sections of the chapter. It kept me into it." -- Majen, Clarion, PA, USA.


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© 2005 Ed Wang
December 2006

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