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A Step Backwards
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A Step Backwards
This is a true story and it is all about wat has happened in my life..i really hope it gets publish one day.this is about how my life takes turn and changes itself and me.how my boyfriend died out of cancer and after that wat was my condition.it is also about my English teacher who fooled me and took me to the wrong path....and I thought he was correct cos I am a teenager!!!!
i am 14 yrs old asian girl.i am basically an indian but a mixture...i usually work on death-curse,fiction-press and fanfiction.it's my first work on this website.i like reading,skating and writing stories o'course.anyone's got ideas?suggestion?or comments?wud b appreciated.:-D
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
A Step Backwards
The sky filled with the bright shades of orange as the sun set like a sinking ship.Soon the clouds turned lilac and dark violet and darkness fell swiftly.
But the color of sky was not anywhere darker than my heart,I dunno if it can be called a heart or just a four chambered room which was waiting for someone to open the doors of those locked chambers.....to let some light get through them,fill them with hope.
The sky wasn't lonely,it had stars with it but my heart was completely dark maybe darker than a blind person's life.
I had given up all hopes in Love,hope to exist,hope to survive and I addressed my life as only one of those meaningless and complicated equations of chemistry,in which you don't get the head and tail out of it,my life is also like this.You won't understand it because it gets complicated and full of problems as I decide to continue.
And all this happened because I did the biggest mistake which any adoloscent like me would have done.I fell in love,maybe it is rude of me to call it a mistake but now that I see....Love hasn't given me any relief or pleasure like I read in the books.
I was stupid enough to believe that falling in Love would be the best feeling you would ever have and the reason behind this was that I believed in books,I believed in all the love stories...which ended as they lived happily after and all the stupid movies.
Have you ever been in love?You know how it feels when you try to suppress all those feelings rising in some part of your body and suddenly covers your heart,brain and lung with nothing but the name of the person you love.You take every breath in his name,you feel as if every beat your heart is taking is because of him,you think about nothing but only him.
You give yourself to him,you think that he is your soul mate.But only a small incident in life takes away all those feelings.All those good feeling which made me think that atleast once something good was going to happen to me.Something different,something which made me think of life after studies,of marriage,of kids,of home.
I had given up on Love long back.When I entered the school this year I seemed to have formed an immune system around my heart which would stop me from getting the disease of falling in Love because I think this hurts more than anything else.
The problems which I faced maybe a lot for a girl of 14 years of age or maybe that's what I think because I never got the chance to come across that normal life of girls which was full of parties and all those things which is very sweet to a girl's heart.
I felt so different from other girls who were around me,the one who would have crushes every months or the ones who would exaggerate things about their new boyfriends or the ones who would go around bossing others.
I don't remember going to many parties,or buying latest outfits every month or hanging out with boys.
The image formed in your mind after reading this must be a girl who is a nutcase and needs to be taken to mental hospital immidiately and I don't blame you but please have patience and judge me after reading the story.
To start everything from beginning,well....I don't like talking about my past because I am scared of it,or no...maybe I am just running away from it,because I..I don't know....but I was never successful in putting all that which happened to me last year in words.
I am Giayerene Catherine de Tisto and this is my Story.This story goes back to atleast 2 years.I am writing everything down because I feel that everyone should know,especially adults that we "teenagers" sometimes have to face problems more than they ever faced so please don't criticize us.
Whenever I think about it,it brings back all the bad memories because it brings back all those moments with the person who made my life upside down,who messed it all up,who did something that made me think of Suicide,who did something that made me nearly use Drugs to forget all the sorrows in life.
I can still feel my fingers tremble as I try to write down what he did to me.He was my English teacher.Yes,a 35 years old man with a wife and three daughters.He had never been something close to a teacher at all.We were always free in his class and studied nothing at all in english.Infact the English Exam paper was set as we wanted,that was fun I guess.
He proposed me in the beginning of last year which I didn't take very serious at first.I was just sitting in the library reading my science book when he took the place right beside me and started telling me things about how much he hated his wife and how much he wished he wouldn't have done the mistake of marrying her.
And, well,I was quiet free with him because he had helped me in loads of stuff before already,so I considered the matter and told him whatever I thought was correct.I told him to stay with his wife for the sake of his children,I told him to try to cooperate with her and that he should try to ignore it when she got very sensitive over the smallest matter and things like that...you know just convince him to live with his wife but then suddenly he said the thing which I had least expected.
He said that he started liking a girl from the school and sort of fell for her during the end of last year in the final examination.The first thought which came in my mind was a girl from 12th or 11th standard atleast, and then before I could put this into words he had just said it.He said that it was the girl who was now helping him to get through all the problems in his life and then he said that he loved me and it had been months but he tried to supress his feelings because I had the right to enjoy my adoloscence.
I laughed the matter off and decided to forget everything he had said and I was quiet successful,although, he continued saying it for months.I ignored it as much as I could but we continued being close friends like before and maybe that was the biggest mistake I did,I should have understood what kind of person he was after he proposed me.
In the summer vacations last year when I was chatting with him on the internet,he told me that his wife left the house and the children.I asked him to get her back home.I told him to apologies even if it wasn't his fault, just for the sake of the children.I always felt bad for those three little girls, for how they had to suffer all these fights between their parents.
I also met a guy during the vacations and we kind of started dating.It was maybe one the most precious time of my life.I was in relationship with this boy for 8 months and I knew that he really loved me.I knew how much he cared for me but I didn't love him that way and I fell for him when it was too late,he was dying.
Hey people..this is an original and true story so pls review and i'll b updating soon cos it's my story.*sighs*
luv,tuts and hugs
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"A lot of us have to deal with more than we should and it is far from far. I liked this, some of the words were a little colloquial but I guess it fits in well with this story because it is about your life. All in all a good read and you are very talented for 14, hope the next editions to your story take a happier turn" -- Rebecca Tantos.
"Sad, but well written, story over all but i don't like the comment about a blind person's life being dark, cause its not." -- klc.
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© 2005 Wajiha Kk
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