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Free Period
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Free Period
Six teenagers must deal with some out-of-the-ordinary problems at school.
[2,588 words]
Kathleen Quigley
I'm 15 years old and my interests are Drama, reading,writing, and hanging out with my friends.
[August 2000]
[email protected]
A Story Problem (Short Stories) A story written for Literature class that was almost true, but greatly exaggerated. [1,070 words] [Teenage]

"Oooohh that sucked. Take your caps off." -- Meg.
"Hey, I thought it was cool! :)" -- Emily, Rhode Island.
"That was by far the most odious pile of gay to have ever pried open my eyes and leapt into my brain. When I read the first paragraph, I knew it would suck, but I continued anyway, thinking (hoping) you would at least present something half-way decent in the plot department. What do I get? I get an ooooooold plot ripped straight from Tin Soldiers with characters so flat and lines so contrived and pointless that I wonder if it was written be a braindead teen-ager...and then I read your profile, and I was RIGHT! Every "one-liner" you probably stole from Saved by the Bell! *Shudders* Why?! Why do they leave campus and go to Home Depot?! It's so gay! Why do two terrorists decide, "Derr, terrorism isn't fun anymore...let's help out these kids!"?! It's beyond gay! Why did the principal even bring in the terrorists in the first place?! You never explained it! It's not even gay...it's Vanilla Ice Gay! The original Godzilla scripts deliver better dialogue, my writing in third grade could equal, if not succeed, your description, and the last scene...was by far....the worst scene in the history of literature. Please...for the good of humanity, show this to no one else. Burn it. Scatter the ashes into the Bermuda Triangle. But pretend this was never written and start over." -- Tyrant.
"I respect the opinions of others and accept criticism from other persons, but I ask that if you are going to criticize that you do so constructively and that you pay attention when reading the story. (by the way, my entire class liked the story.)" -- Kathleen Quigley ( the author).
"I didn't finish reading it...it was stupid aftr a few paragraphs. Your story is overall okay, but it doesn't bring out much talent. All of your sentences were literal and to the point. Ever heard of figurative language? It might make your story more intresting and more detailed. I say keep the story but add more connotative language, simile, metaphor, etc...then come back and submit it and see what we have to say." -- christy mack.
"Tyrant- MY GOD, CALM DOWN. WHAT ARE YOU LIKE YOU FREAK???? You make it sound as though the survival of the human race depends on her story??? by the way, what are you? a he or a she? judging from the review you gave her you're more an IT than anything else. A slim-like disgusting IT.The kind that sits in the corner of the classroom with no friends, then goes home looking for people to insult on the web to boost his own fragile confidence (OH, SORRY. I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE AGE, BUT GUESSING FROM YOU'RE REVIEW, I'D SAY YOU'RE ABOUT...TEN???)Get a life you JERK!! Kathleen, although I didn't think you're story was any good, I still think it's great that you're writing at such a young age! on the bright side- you can only get better in time. As long as you have the imagination, and enjoy writing- who gives a damn what that thing (OH SORRY, TYRANT) thinks. KEEP ON WRITING!!!!!" -- ROB, LONDON, UK.
"Tyrant...the next time you feel like insulting someone who has bravely stepped foreward and exerted skills beyond your comprehension (merely imagination and courage) try saying how you feel WITHOUT using the word "gay" as though it's some sort of a put down. You sound as though you might be the writer of ,"Living with Sexual Disfunctions". Be more open and understanding to ALL people, first time writers, homosexuals, whatever. Nice effort Kathleen, keep up your skills and learning new things. Oh, and Tyrant... what exactly is "Vanilla Ice Gay", you abomination to the human race! Cheers! " -- CaraLyn, london, Uk.
"find it interesting" -- ashish.
"What a stupid British fag(Rob, London). What a piece of stupid Euro Trash, "Get a life you JERK!!", what a dipshit. You know what's funny, You make fun of him for going on the internet and making fun of people and yet you do the same thing. You fucking British prick. It's also funny that you seem like the type that sits around Friday night with a porno and some paper towels and yet can make fun of people who have no life. Brush your fucking teeth, take a shower Euro dipshit, (that goes for Caralyn also). You better learn to keep your mouth shut or your going to get beat someday(soon I hope). Go drink some tea arrogant asshole (Caralyn also). Hey Tyrant, that was a little over the top. If you ever write something better than maybe you can say the things you said. That part said, I thought the story was not very good but, I also think that one story will not dictate how you write for the rest of your life, even the best writers could be better. Just because you wrote one bad story does not mean you can do better, and I think you will, for you are pretty young and will have the time to improve. It's also very brave of you to post your story for everyone to read (and make fun of in Tyrant's case,(What exactly is Vanilla Ice Gay anyway?)). Keep Writing. " -- USC sucks, Pittsburgh, PA, The United States of America.
"Damn! That really stank! It soundz similar to another dumb story about high school wizards being held hostage by their principal who was really an evil magician who took their power one by one, until some crazy kid ruined the whole story by killin him! Same dumb plot! Originalty, plz! (in a whining voice)" -- Sarah.
"Well I want to be as fair as possible and objective, considering you age, although I am two years your junior. (If you would also like to criticize me I have other works published under that name) but, um why was the story idea like that. It could do with some revising. The realism is not there, although I'm sure you must have had fun with the story idea, the little statistics like what you got didn't make sense, and what happened in the gang up on mcinery or whatever the principal's name was, it kind of defeated the purpose for going to home depot. And i kinda didn't understand why Justin fell in love with you, He wasn't particularly focused on before why now? Dialogue could use some work and er...um...you could improve your work if you probably mapped out a basic skeleton of a plot. And some things didn't make sense. But you still have time to get better and that's what counts. Also teh effort. So good luck in the future. Smile!" -- Julissa Gayle Raven, Benbrook, TX, USA.


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© 2000 Kathleen Quigley
August 2000

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