What Nursing Taught Me About Life And Death by Natalie Hallworth - [2,108 words]
Truth by Adele Staufer The story of the influence of my Grand-parents' lakefront plot on my childhood. [861 words]
Shots And Sticks by Sarah O'Farrell A Diabetic's Journey. [1,279 words]
Oh Australia, How I Hate Thee by Thepratmeister Let me count the ways... [505 words]
My First Break by Mike Raudenbush This is a non-fiction story about the first time I broke a bone. It is short and fast. With a fe... [992 words]
Life On High
Vitry-Sur-Seine Half-Marathon - April 23, 2006 by Terry Kaufman After running the Paris Half-Marathon over a month ago, I decide... [777 words]
Purge - Goodbye by Briony Carvalho - [487 words]
Paris Half-Marathon - March 5, 2006 by Terry Kaufman 5 months of regular training. Knee, ankle, and ligament injuries. 21.1 ki... [940 words]
The Burglar, My Husband And I by Amarjit Bhambra This actually happened, Its also good to have a laugh about it. [243 words]
Stormy Petrels by Denise Clement Short true story based on my Hysler family tree. My paternal family of Duval Co. Florida. From 1... [7,856 words]
Kitty Kissses: The Silent Treatment by Shelley J Alongi Brandy tells me just what she thinks of going to the vet. [1,231 words]
Kitty Kisses: Our Little Brandy by Shelley J Alongi Tales of a little kitten. [1,366 words]
Test Of Friendship by Lady Sashi Like all good stories, itís best to start at the beginning, which is where we find ourselves... [1,117 words]
Out With The Old, In With The Young by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister gives his overview of 2005, and what he expects for 2006. [525 words]
Heteros, Homos, Celibacy And The Church by Randall Barfield Are we going back to the time of the Crusades? [590 words]
David's Letter--Bogota, Colombia by Randall Barfield This is a true incident. It is not fiction. [551 words]
The Pratmeister's Guide To Australia by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister gives you the unofficial history of the Aussies. [379 words]
Assholes by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister is in a mood. Again. [150 words]
Shame Para Hills High School, Shame! by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister has a gutless bunch of High School bureaucratic tosspots f... [191 words]
Book Of Shadows: Diary Of A Witch by Lady Sashi Written below are the accounts and experiences of a real, live Witch, in her ... [744 words]
My Letter To Anne Frank by Alvin Gladstone My small token of love & respect to the little angel. [304 words]
Kitty Kisses: Whose Bed Is It Anyway by Shelley J Alongi The family bed cat style. [750 words]
Kitty Kisses: Peter Jennings And Cat Company by Shelley J Alongi Amusing tales of cats just when you need them. [789 words]
In Thoughts And Prayers by Dawn Matley Maselli The Warwick Station Fire so strongly affected our community. To friends, neighbors and ... [179 words]
Fever Dreams And Memories by Lawrence Peters My first ghost story. [649 words]
Daemons by Randall Barfield Isn't British spelling more elegant sometimes? This piece of writing is about demons. We all have one... [2,678 words]
Rant Of The Week by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister tells it like it is on the hot topics of the day. [796 words]
Prudes by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister feels a rant coming on again. Oh dear. [355 words]
Perverts by Thepratmeister The world is going insane - but the pratmeister will reassure you you're not alone in thinking so. [322 words]
Nicole Cornes Can Suck My Balls by Thepratmeister The pratmeister gently points out to a "Sunday Mail" columnist where she is goi... [535 words]
My Parents And Myself by Carla Thomson It's basicly me bitching about my parents. [1,277 words]
Kitty Kisses: Licking The Hand That Feeds You by Shelley J Alongi Here's to many more lickings. [1,019 words]
Kitty Kisses Entry Two by Shelley J Alongi Formula One cat feeding. [658 words]
Kitty Kisses Entry One by Shelley J Alongi Shelley's life with her two cats. [957 words]
Kitty Kisses: Don't Fence Me In by Shelley J Alongi Flee meds, the closet, and the nineteenth century frontier. [1,089 words]
Australian Suck! by Thepratmeister The Pratmeister gives you the lowdown on the worst country in the world. [665 words]
Amelia Frid - Interview With Neighbours Actress by Ian Kidd In 2004 I had the pleasure of interviewing former "Neighbours" ... [1,244 words]
A Dream Comes True by Randall Barfield This is nostalgia and reflection. It's a short piece of writing dedicated to young Rodger W... [951 words]
Things People Do by Vivek Yadav This is my first attempt at writing. I hope improve as I go along. [497 words]
Cutting Myself by Khalif M Joyce Touch me once more, before my life ends soon. [206 words]
Photons by Rob Lioy A confessional essay on the insomniac thought process, dealing with issues of anxiety and love. [1,107 words]
Hidden Life Of The Author by Aryka This writing will mainly involve my life and how and let the reader possibly see the ... [222 words]
Tony's Unbirthday Party by Shelley J Alongi My birthday visit with Tony. [1,150 words]
Reach For The Sky by Shelley J Alongi On Saturday March 19, 2005, I gave this speech at our Toastmasters division D contest. It's a... [588 words]
My Worst Purchase by L Nelson This story is of when I accidentally spat in my brother's ear. [329 words]
Song Of Cy: Understanding Grief by Katlyn Stewart A parent's worst nightmare has become reality in Song Of Cy. A beautiful life c... [1,695 words]
Nightmares Echo by Katlyn Stewart Synopsis- Even as a young girl she knew she was different, knew she had secrets that must be hi... [901 words]
The Literary Cold War by Riot - [714 words]
My Last Day by G N Suicide. [495 words]
Mr Pearls by Gary R Hoffman This is the story of too many people in our world. [952 words]
Lunch With A Soldier by Dan Styles The saddest thing I'v ever heard. [125 words]
Jason Sucrut's Sons by G David Schwartz A short piece. [818 words]
The Black Sheep Of Mahee's Family by Patricia Lynn This is just a moment In my time of quiet leisure that I usually write reason... [1,191 words]
My First D by Morgan A Brennan A short piece. [959 words]
From Monster To Freshman by Sarah M Kaul Character Sketch of my brother. [3,252 words]
A Journal Entry For The Reviewer by Bradley Grimes This is my journal entry for Monday January 10th, 2005. [237 words]
Where Soldiers Cry by Steven L Howard A Christmas story that's probably not like any you've heard before. [767 words]
Every Breath You Take by Steven L Howard A letter to my children: In two separate accidents, two families of our friends buried a ... [410 words]
Dad's Here To Play by Steven L Howard Can we become so busy and self-absorbed that there is no time for the things that matter mos... [2,049 words]
The Beagle by Amber A Whitman A short piece. [489 words]
Happens All The Time by Lucy Midnight - [530 words]
Confessions Of A Caffeine Junkie by Nancy Rider About my encounter with a young cashier at KFC. I tried to be a positive influ... [577 words]
An Aviation Accident Arouses An Advocate by Shelley J Alongi On Saturday September 25, 2004, a plane went down while taking off fro... [2,007 words]
Sleepy Eyes by Sasu A poem about a man who cant take it in a world full of greed, and has to end it.. I have no psychol... [77 words]
Playing With My Hair by Skyler Drevan This is a piece that I thought about writing while driving up the Florida Turnpike from We... [228 words]
I Miss You So Very Much by Skyler Drevan (Just For You) [493 words]
The Best Grocery Shopping Experience Ever And Other Activities by Shelley J Alongi Another communication story about my deaf friend... [1,572 words]
Minimum Wage & The Typewriters by Don Everett Pearce Eulogy for a Poet. [1,447 words]
The Self-Appointed Altruists by Sam Vaknin Their arrival portends rising local prices and a culture shock. Many of them live ... [2,387 words]
The Family Of Four by Kevin Myrick For my friends at college. [1,014 words]
The Down-Low Life (It's A Two Way Street) by Skyler Drevan This is an article on the double life that women (bisexual, lesbian, ... [2,218 words]
Flight Number Five: Cuddling And Turning Cessna Style by Shelley J Alongi Flight number five in Shelley's adventures in flight offe... [2,028 words]
Go to page: 1 2  4 5
Life On High
This peice describes my year long experience of getting high. I became accustomed to releasing from my world, until eventually I hit rock bottom. I soon became aware I had to quit, but it fely like a lose lose situation.
Rose Reitman has survived 3 hellish years of highschool and is pushing for another. This is a rough world to discover yourelf in... tough times don't last, tough people do.
~God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.~
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
Life On High
Ask yourself these twelve questions to determine whether marijuana is a problem in your life
1. Has smoking pot stopped being fun? Yea, I feel burnt-out and overly tired every time I smoke.
2. Do you ever get high alone? Every night, in my room, to get to sleep and release.
3. Is it hard for you to imagine a life without marijuana? Not only hard, itís impossible.
4. Do you find that your friends are determined by your marijuana use? For the most part yes.
5. Do you smoke marijuana to avoid dealing with your problems? Absolutely.
6. Do you smoke pot to cope with your feelings? Without a doubt.
7. Does your marijuana use let you live in a privately defined world? Yea, one where I donít have to care about all the fucked up shit in my life.
8. Have you ever failed to keep promises you made about cutting down or controlling your dope smoking? Millions of times.
9. Has your use of marijuana caused problems with memory, concentration, or motivation? Iíd say ALL my memory, concentration and motivation is completely gone.
10. When your stash is nearly empty, do you feel anxious or worried about how to get more? I would continuously cry and freak out.
11. Do you plan your life around your marijuana use? My life IS marijuana use.
12. Have friends or relatives ever complained that your pot smoking is damaging your relationship with them? Monica, Gina, and my mom.
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions,
you may have a problem with pot. UmÖÖ DUH!
Weed, and My LifeÖ. Whatís left of It
BY Rose Reitman
This past Easter, around 3:00 A.M. I made one of the most important choices of my life thus far. I realized that I needed to stop smoking weed completely. Over the recent month I have discovered that quitting is a lot easier said then done. Anyone can make that kind of decision but how you follow through really shows your lack or strengths of character.
Personally, I can admit that Iím 8% body and 92% emotions. Over my life I have struggled with accepting any and all mistakes I have made, but most of all I still canít seem to accept myself for who I am. Not like these arenít common problems in anyoneís life, but I have been hospitalized many times because of my inability to do theses things.
Weed came into my life when I was a sophomore. Before that I had always assumed that kind of thing was only for screw-ups and bad-kids, little did I know I was about to become one. I could only look forward to summer, hanging out with my friends, getting out of school, and having so much free time I wouldnít know what to do with. In January, I was introduced to a very time consuming activityÖsmoking pot. I started smoking on occasion, which soon became every weekend. When summer came I was smoking everyday, and multiple times a day. I wasnít consciously aware that by doing so, I was beginning to sacrifice my money, my time, my energy, my health, my weight, my memory and my focus for a stupid expensive illegal green plant. It was a choice to smoke at first, but sure enough in only a few months it had grown to an addiction that consumed every aspect of my life.
I continued using through junior year, and grew a curiosity for other ways of achieving a high. I ate magic mushrooms almost every weekend and I tried ecstasy, even a little cocaine. I once had boundaries and morals for myself, but now I found myself experimenting with things I swore I never would. I was constantly hiding my problem from my mom, the law and even myself. Who wants to admit that their the killing their own chances and opportunities for a beneficial life? I had become nauseated with the way I handled myself when I was high, and using alone had become my favorite and only pastime. I was sick of it all, but I had no motivation left in me to change the lack of motivation I had. My relationship with my best friend was disintegrating, not to mention the delicate bond with my mom. But who cares right? It was under control I told myself; I had a balance. Ladies and gentís you can NEVER have a balanced life when there are drugs in the picture.
Giving up weed meant so much more than just dropping a drug. Using had become a routine for me, one that I depended on so much it was pathetic. Smoking was a regular pastime with my friends, and I was scared to death of how my quitting would affect that. I had found acceptance in the stoner community, I made new friends from smoking up and I desperately did not want to lose that either. But I was ready to give up my major problem, as I mistakenly assumed was weed at the time. Ever since, Iíve felt resistance from my stoner friends, and overall I have not felt the support and strong bond we once had. I still hang out with them while they get stoned, and I quickly see exactly why I quit. But it doesnít help nor cure my longingís to be part of that again even still.
It is has been over a month since Iíve smoked weed. Iíve regularly been going to Narcotics Anonymous over at Centennial Peaks twice a week, and have made new friends there. The older people Iíve met are helpful in that I can confide my struggle with them and not fear any kind of ridicule or judgment, which really helps. It is so therapeutic to be surrounded by people who truly understand what changes are happening in my life and my body now that I quit, and I in a weird way really look forward to those meetings. They remind me why I cannot go back to smoking my issues away, and without them I would probably be getting high as we speak.
Nothings been peachy since I quit, and in the past 4 weeks I have been receiving blow after blow of hardships. As I struggle with the stress of the homestretch of school, my first big move, the dropping off of friends, my intense never-ending battle with my mom, severe uncontrollable depression, I realize that with quitting weed I did not solve my problems. I merely got rid of my one form of coping, completely cold turkey. It was my release from life, not my problemÖand my concern now was if it all was worth it.
I celebrated my one-month of sobriety in the adolescent ward of Centennial Peaks hospital. The Sunday previous to the Tuesday I was admitted I wanted to die. I went through 3 weeks of hell, as all the shit in my life seemed to be getting worse; coping by sleeping and cutting, my old forms of release, were the only things I could do. Was it bad timing? Or was life really better back when I was a pot-head? Even being hospitalized couldnít keep those racing thoughts from haunting me. My week visit to the hospital has only achieved in setting me more behind in school, and putting me back on the anti-depressants I absolutely hate.
When I started writing this story I was going for some kind of inspiring piece with this experience. The truth is that it has been nothing but a supreme ordeal. Life has become so bleak that I canít stand being in my own skin anymore. I ultimately hate myself, and I know there isnít enough weed in the world that could help me forget it even for a moment. I spend every minute of everyday wishing to be fucked up beyond belief, because maybe if I was drunk enough I might possibly forget the hole Iím currently living in. I just want everything to be normal with my friends again, but I canít help but disassociate from every last one of them. I want more than anything for my mom to love me, but my irritability and hopelessness seems to keep that dream just a dream. I want them all back, I want it all back, the way it was before, whether it was for the worst, whether it was going to fuck me over in the end. It wouldnít matter because right now Iím desperately in need of a way to just get through today.
|READER'S REVIEWS (3)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"This is something that hits home for me a lot. I can sympathise with you on all fronts. I too, in ways hide from the world and the issues I should be dealing with through pot. I still use and admittedly I'm high right now, but you know how it goes when you got a routine? I seriously want to face the problems of my life and be a better person for it, rather than cast them away and get high and forget them. Sure forgetting the pain of life is good, but I know it will catch up with me some day and drag me down. I used to be a really energetic person, a person with ideas and motivation, with a good crowd of friends and a loving family. Once I began weed 5 yrs ago, I slowly began to shed my friends who werent into weed smoking; I guess I thought it was cool, and I was somehow above them for doing it... I dunno. But over the last 4 yrs I have lost all my friends except those who do pot. And the friends I have now, I have good deep relationships with despite we are only really weed buddies. I like your story, it triggers the thought of putting myself through counselling to deal with these problems. However, I know I won't.. My motivation has completley evaporated and I cannot seem to deal with stuff. I can't explain how lazy my life has become since weed gripped me. Getting high is very overated, sure it was fun when I started with all the fun accesories and parties but now the parties have gone and the accessories are not needed. I'm at work right now, high, I skin up 2-3 a night, when I finish I will skin up another 2 and go to sleep. Hi my name's Sasu and I have a problem! Weed. I loved your description of what your going through, I think you have done really well stopping, and continuing to stop, I hope that you can come out the other side a new person thanks to your courage and honesty. Thanks for sharing this." -- Sasu.
"Does handicapper omaha weak online free bingo! " -- bingo, bingo, bingo, bingo.
"Rose, this is wonderful. Wherever you are I miss you every day. Rest in peace beautiful girl." -- Jenn.
TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS CLICK HERE! (SELECT "MANAGE TITLE REVIEWS" ACTION)
Submit Your Review for Life On High
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.
Submit Your Rating for Life On High
© 2006 Rose Reitman
|STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
|NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED