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TITLE (EDIT)
Two Worlds Part 2
DESCRIPTION
Second installment of first part. [4,991 words]
AUTHOR
Sarah Somebody
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
- [July 2002]
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
thecrazykind@hotmail.com
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (1)
Two Worlds Part 1 (Genres) Leslie has lived in tow worlds her entire life. As her eighteenth birthday qiockly approaches everything begins to change. Suddenly she finds herself fighting in a strange world for a race she hardl... [5,319 words] [Science Fiction]
READER'S REVIEWS (1)DISCLAIMER: STORY M A N I A DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"First of all Sarah I apologise for my review on the first part. 'The Author' was quite right I could have been more helpful, my only excuse is that I was tired when I wrote it and felt that a general gut impression of the story was better than no review at all. I'm also sorry about the second comment which will problably not make much sense to you. I think there was a technical glitch. My dear friend 'The author' obviously posted his complaint about my review on your story, but for some unbeknown reason it appeared not on yours, but on one of MY stories .. odd. Right on to your work. Firstly I think you really grabbed the story by the horns in this second part. The first part though I admit I didn't read it again it was too long, but I did re-skim it, is far better than I gave you credit for in my first review, I said that I liked it, which I did. I could have gone further and said how much I liked it. Which leads me to another small point. I do most of my reading at night, I'm usually past my best by then, so am I doing right by people? I read the second part this morning and felt much more alert and got into it far better. So the point I'm making is that although the first part is fantastic (I stand by my comment about needing editing) I enjoyed the second part more. But in retrospect I don't think the second part is actually any better then the first. "It was as if the whole town was composed of nature" (EAM) that is my favourite sentence, it's beautiful. Your imagination is stunning. It made me sad though that the unicorn had become slave to the dwarfs. I always see unicorns as the ultimate symbol of emancipation the beast who can never be captured or tamed and yet still maintain it's incredible gentle nature. Just another sign of the times I suppose...bloody dwarfs. "We both busted out laughing" (EAM) small nit time again. I hated this sentence. everything you described before was written in such pretty words and phrases, the writing upheld the feeling of the fantasy, then you come out with busted out laughing and it shattered the mood of the piece. I like that in the end the only visible difference, the thing that ultimately gave her away was something as simple as the colour of her eyes. It put me in mind of the 'blue eyed children, brown eyed children experiement and that seemed quite fitting. Brilliant story, well written, still needs and edit (their, there) Loved it 9/10. Hope I was more helpful this time. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2002 Sarah Somebody
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
July 2002
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
848