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The Future Of Islam In Russia by Wael El-Manzalawy - [263 words]
Metrolink608: Number One Engineer by Shelley J Alongi Christmas, New years, laughter, tears, teasing, the engineer steeler, and liv... [6,046 words]
Metrolink608: Cuddled By The Engineer by Shelley J Alongi quiet confidence, energetic moments, teasing, ephiphany, the engineer and... [3,783 words]
She Likes Trains: Station Gold by Shelley J Alongi Glen the Metrolink engineer's first vocal utterance has inspired my new series o... [2,734 words]
Metrolink111: The Best Two Minutes by Shelley J Alongi I've always said that Glen provided the best two minutes of my day. This wee... [3,088 words]
Metrolink111 Love On The Rails by Shelley J Alongi Oh the joy and pain of communicating with a locomotive engineer. MP36 verses FP5... [5,155 words]
Metrolink111: Going Steady by Shelley J Alongi Steady as she goes, a dilemma, cherishing the engineer, it doesn't get any better th... [4,897 words]
Heavy. What. by Angel Of Hope A vignette of my family. [170 words]
Annoyingted One by Angel Of Hope A vignette about my name. [170 words]
Splatterpunk: Welcome To It by Iron Dave An essay on the splatterpunk movement of the 1980s [2,637 words]
Metrolink111:She Likes Trains by Shelley J Alongi Metrolink Glen, my engineer, how did you ever get it so right? How could somethin... [2,190 words]
Metrolink111: Sweet Engine Purring by Shelley J Alongi Locomotives, engineer withdrawals, a stressful day, crying on the engineer's... [3,992 words]
Metrolink111: Alfa Cat Engineer by Shelley J Alongi Another week ends at the fullerton station for Shelley and her engineers. Well,... [3,359 words]
Hamkatramck by Angel Of Hope A vignette about Hamtrack, Michigan. [171 words]
Metrolink111: The Disney Engineer by Shelley J Alongi This doesn't take place at the Fullerton train station, it takes place at Dis... [2,046 words]
Who Americans Are And What They Do by Angel Of Hope - [869 words]
Timeline Of My Life by Angel Of Hope - [569 words]
Now That I'm Older, I'm Still Not Wiser by James Snyder Now that summer is over and the children are back in school I found mys... [883 words]
Metrolink111: Sweet Nothings by Shelley J Alongi This week, at the fullerton train station, Glen, the mysterious Metrolink engineer... [4,452 words]
Metrolink111: Slumming It With The Guys by Shelley J Alongi the engineer factor, can she find the train, plans, a supportive metrol... [3,522 words]
Metrolink111: Shaking Hands With The Engineer by Shelley J Alongi My Glen full of surprises. [2,541 words]
Metrolink111: My Happy Places by Shelley J Alongi An engineer, food, a gentle train journey, and meeting a restaurant owner. It's a... [3,331 words]
Metrolink111: Love Your Best Station Girl by Shelley J Alongi Does he remember my name? Does he know where to find locomotive specs... [6,322 words]
A Pretty Girl by Angel Of Hope - [1,592 words]
Metrolink111: Touching The Locomotive by Shelley J Alongi This week it's all about Glen and doign something that I've been afraid t... [2,520 words]
Metrolink111: Questions People Ask by Shelley J Alongi A stellar day in the nonlogic department at the fullerton train station. [1,645 words]
Metrolink111: Listening To The Engineer by Shelley J Alongi After gushing about glen, it's time for the story I haven't told you ye... [1,540 words]
Metrolink111: Finding The Gold Nuggetts by Shelley J Alongi An accident memorial, a not for an engineer, and everything in between.... [5,339 words]
Metrolink111: Finding The Engineer by Shelley J Alongi Comfort, food, waving, and just plain finding the engineer. [2,750 words]
Metrolink111: All The Engineer You Need by Shelley J Alongi A heckler, intrigued engineers, and just how do you pronounce chatswort... [2,122 words]
Those Darndest Packets Of Powder by Angel Of Hope An editorial for class. [872 words]
Real Women Vs. Media's Version Of Women by Dream Rinsed Pretty&Beautiful vs. Hot&Sexy. [156 words]
Metrolink111: The Place Of Escape by Shelley J Alongi Waving at and interacting with engineers, teasing, and escaping with trains. [3,034 words]
Metrolink111: Chatsworth Stories by Shelley J Alongi Today I make thirty seconds of contact with a locomotive engineer who knew Rob... [3,903 words]
Metrolink111: All My Engineers by Shelley J Alongi What a journey I've had over the last year since the chatsworth accident. I keep... [2,519 words]
Metrolink111: A Crush On The Engineer by Shelley J Alongi Why don't I just admit that I have a mad crush on someone I never met, an... [2,595 words]
Letters About Islam I by Wael El-Manzalawy - [170 words]
Metrolink111: In Search Of The Engineer by Shelley J Alongi Which engineer you ask? By now in my story you have several choices. Pi... [3,492 words]
Metrolink111: Flowers For An Engineer by Shelley J Alongi On this trip to Chatsworth I meet rob's conductor, lay flowers for him, g... [3,305 words]
Metrolink111 Education On The Rails by Shelley J Alongi Saturday September 12, 2009 finds me passing through Chatsworth on my way t... [3,334 words]
A Strange New Car by Orin G Quilar An essay about an embarrassing moment with someone else's car. [347 words]
Metrolink111: Asking The Freight Engineer by Shelley J Alongi Making life happen, conversations, a pleasant August evening at the f... [2,756 words]
In An Airplane Going To San Francisco by Angel Of Hope - [133 words]
The Falseness Of The Evolution Theory by Wael El-Manzalawy - [332 words]
Metrolink111: The Case Of The Dejected Engineer by Shelley J Alongi Questions, Chatsworth connections, eyes, and a milestone. [1,950 words]
Metrolink111: No No Magic Days by Shelley J Alongi Only someone at a train station would call me a gold digger. Heartache, trouble,... [2,182 words]
On And Off The Wall by Piper Davenport - [1,538 words]
My Silent Friend (Shadows) by Veraelaine Louch We are never truly alone. There is always someone with us. [201 words]
Moving Beyond The Pain by Piper Davenport - [2,014 words]
Metrolink111: Shoes, Songs And Tunnels by Shelley J Alongi All I can say is that two trains colliding last September led to all thi... [3,128 words]
Metrolink111: Rob Among The Chips And The Cookies: Almost by Shelley J Alongi Someone told me that I would stir up fireworks in Cha... [1,910 words]
Society, The Family And A Thatcher. by Colin Baker When UK conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher asserted in 1987 that... [5,380 words]
What Do We Want? Concrete Fairness! When Do We Want It? Now! by Colin Baker Live Aid and Live 8 failed because they made metap... [4,232 words]
Screwball Scramble by Colin Baker There is a good reason for the phenomenon of frenzied shopping in the Western world. [2,381 words]
Metrolink111: Late Baby Late by Shelley J Alongi Late trains, freight engineers, and new connections. [2,786 words]
Metrolink111: Assist At Chatsworth by Shelley J Alongi I meet the fans that knew Rob Sanchez and get ideas for the memorial plaque.... [2,561 words]
A Hypothesis On Life by Mike Piotrowski A philosophical approach to a question with an impossible answer. Would like to hear your ... [416 words]
The Islamic Civilization And The Western Civilization by Wael El-Manzalawy - [472 words]
On Turning Sixty
Metrolink111: Here Comes Your Freight by Shelley J Alongi Of horns, freights and memorial plaques. [2,178 words]
Metrolink111: Finding Rob's Spot by Shelley J Alongi A cheeseburger, freight trains, and the quest to find a spot for a memorial pl... [1,590 words]
Metrolink111: Defending The Engineer by Shelley J Alongi Two trips to the Fullerton station, a trip to a railroad model shop, the C... [2,416 words]
Metrolink111: Railroad Family Ties by Shelley J Alongi You would never ever guess what the common factor in my train station journe... [2,056 words]
Metrolink111: Sick For Trains by Shelley J Alongi The chatsworth accident, engineers, friends, a dog that's a train fan, quiet mome... [2,995 words]
Easter Everyday by Bridgett Nesbit A passionate portrait of Mary's love for her son and how the Easter message should be celebrate... [505 words]
Chatsworth Journal: Observations About The Metrolink111 Crash On September 12 2008 by Shelley J Alongi I'm obsessed with the Chatsw... [1,785 words]
Metrolink111: Not Quite Throwing The Switch by Shelley J Alongi Finally, a real live, sort of railroad switch! [2,017 words]
Metrolink111: Blame The Engineer by Shelley J Alongi So people want to drag Rob Sanchez's name through the mud after the Chatsworth... [2,215 words]
What If I Die Today by Raine Lariza It is an essay about how is it like if one person dies today.. Read on :) [507 words]
Metrolink111: Is She A Foamer by Shelley J Alongi Six months and it all comes down to one question. Between grief, solace, creativi... [2,665 words]
The Paradise by Wael El-Manzalawy - [183 words]
Sex In Islam by Wael El-Manzalawy - [244 words]
Metrolink111: The Human Place by Shelley J Alongi Six months after the Chatsworth train wreck it is the human story that draws me t... [1,174 words]
Pagan Cycles Of Modern Religion by Dr Lemuria - [2,935 words]
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Alchemy by Dr Lemuria - [272 words]
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Ahkenaton by Dr Lemuria - [701 words]
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Abductions by Dr Lemuria - [174 words]

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TITLE (EDIT)
On Turning Sixty
DESCRIPTION
The rewards of turning sixty
[544 words]
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor
AUTHOR
Robert Levin
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
-
[March 2019]
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
[email protected]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (16)
3 Poems (Poetry) - [129 words] [Humor]
A Passel Of Plumeria (Short Stories) Can an act of violence be a gift? [5,935 words]
Arena (Short Stories) A man finds a way out of his midlife crisis. [1,495 words] [Action]
Donald Trump And The Fear Of Death (Essays) Propelled by a pronounced extinction anxiety, white Americaís dread has led directly to a heightening of racism, and with it, the presidency of Donald Trump [581 words] [Psychology]
Everything's All Right In The Middle East (Essays) A mutual solution to the problem of being mortal. [686 words] [Psychology]
Free Jazz: The Jazz Revolution Of The '60s (Essays) "Man, In another ten years we won't even need traffic lights we're gonna be so spiritually tuned to one another." [2,615 words] [History]
No Stars For The Eclipse (Essays) I thought more interesting work was being done at the Electric Circus back in the '60s. [529 words] [Comedy]
On Mental Health (Short Stories) If I ever see a shrink again it'll have to be under a court order. [2,573 words] [Drama]
Peggie (Short Stories) My chance to cross gross obesity from the list of body types I hadn't yet scored. [1,519 words] [Comedy]
Proving God By Consensus (Essays) My Problem with the Religious Right [977 words] [Psychology]
Recycle This (Essays) "I don't even sort and rinse the stuff I keep?" [885 words] [Humor]
Schindler's List: A Fecal Matter (Essays) - [1,047 words] [Psychology]
Stupidity: Its Uses & Abuses (Essays) Stupidity is rivaled in its genius only be schizophrenia. [1,337 words] [Humor]
The Monstrous Season (Short Stories) When you call your Dog Debbie you're asking fror trouble. [8,188 words] [Literary Fiction]
Why Peace Will Forever Elude Us (Essays) Although the guises may differ, people who study history are no less doomed to repeat it than those who donít. [769 words] [Psychology]
You Don't Know What You're Doing (Or Why You're Still Fat) (Essays) People with perpetual obesity issues are playing a game with themselves. [804 words] [Psychology]
On Turning Sixty
Robert Levin

Although itís brought me that much closer to transforming into worm food, Iíve found that turning sixty is not without its compensations.

While itís true, for example, that my member isnít getting a proper supply of blood anymoreóand that I can no longer write my name in the sand and must settle for my initialsóI can still have lots of fun with it. Thanks to an ever-enlarging prostate gland thatís threatening to devour my bladder, my urine stream now bifurcates at the exit point. This means that I can whiz into the toilet and the adjacent bathtub at the same timeówhich is a kick. My urologist says that while he can make no promises, thereís a good chance that in the not too distant future Iíll be capable of TRIfurcating. This will enable me to whiz into the toilet, the bathtub AND the laundry basket simultaneously.

I canít wait.

And by making it possible to legitimately deflect questions that have always rankled the hell out of me (ďIsnít it time you threw out those Smurf jars with the petrified flecks of premixed peanut butter Ďní jelly down toward the bottom?Ē is a persistent one that never fails to put me in a homicidal rage), my newly developed hearing loss has a terrific upside as well. Not, to be sure, that its downside isnít just as major. I mean, how many invitations to lunch have I blown? How many people have said, ďLet me buy you lunch,Ē and Iíve said in reply, ďBut we still donít have bin Laden.Ē? (As thorny as this problem is, Iíve managed to ease it somewhat by saying, maybe a dozen times a morning to people who appear to be talking to me, ďThanks, Iíd love to.Ē Though probably several hundred of them have walked away from me very quicklyóand two, I guess they had their reasons, punched me in the stomachóIíve gotten six lunches doing this that I would otherwise have missed out on. Not to mention a free ticket to a WAYNE NEWTON concert!)

But if the benefits and drawbacks of my hearing impairment more or less cancel out each other, the short-term memory loss thatís accompanied my sexagenarianism has a plus side that actually outweighs its minus side. Iím speaking, of course, of the guarantee it can afford me that a movie Iím going to will be a good one. Iíll notice, for instance, an ad for a movie and tell a friend about it. The friend will advise me that I saw the movie just a week ago. Iíll ask him if I liked it and if he says, ďYeah, you couldnít stop talking about it,Ē Iíll think, hey, how often does a movie come with THAT kind of recommendation and Iíll go immediately to see it. Iím told that Iíve seen ďPearl HarborĒ eight times now.

(I might add here that being strictly of the short-term variety, my memory loss in no way affects my ability to remember the last time I had sex.)

But of the many compensatory rewards that turning sixty provides (and youíll agree they are not inconsiderable) thereís one that I value above all others. Although I can still croak at a relatively early age Iíve been spared the embarrassment of a TRAGICALLY early demise.


 

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"I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed your essay. Write on." -- Cedric McClester.
"I agree with Cedric... But I am fifty-four... And I think I enjoyed it more... And I don't know this may start a fight between two old farts... You do know how two Old farts will fight about anything... Looking forward to turning sixty... By the way did I tell you... I agree with Cedric??? BrokenWordsPoet............. " -- James W. McRight Jr., Ruffin , SC, USA.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2009 Robert Levin
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
June 2009
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1421
 

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