State Of The Subway Cars Report (R44s-R188s) by Winson Thai A really long report that I wrote in high school about all the sub... [3,921 words]
Sheepshead Bay Station by Winson Thai This is an essay I wrote in college about how the subway station I lived by, Sheepshead ... [712 words]
Africans, Westerners And Intelligence. by Colin Baker A reply to Dr. James D. Watson's recent assertion that Africans are of i... [7,297 words]
Connecting With A Train Engineer: My Personal Memories Of Amtrak's Coast Starlight by Shelley J Alongi Four trips on the Coast Star... [3,862 words]
Metrolink111: The Learning Trip by Shelley J Alongi It has been two months since the Metrolink 111 accident. I've learned lots and... [1,758 words]
Metrolink111: I'd Rather Have The Serving Dish by Shelley J Alongi Thoughts of losing Rob the Metrolink engineer in the Chatsworth ... [2,571 words]
Unrealistic Reality
So Much Time by Michelle Mercier - [740 words]
Metrolink111: Brown Eyes, Technology And Railroad Tracks by Shelley J Alongi Another milestone in my journey through the metrolink ... [2,744 words]
Metrolink 111: Being Unforgettable by Shelley J Alongi Yet another trip to the Fullerton station provides more relief and allows me... [1,475 words]
Metrolink 111: What Does That Face Look Like by Shelley J Alongi Reflections on the portrayal of Robert M. Sanchez in the media, an... [1,425 words]
Metrolink 111: The Green Light Of Passion by Shelley J Alongi A trip to the fullerton train station to get a hair of the dog that b... [1,417 words]
Metrolink 111: The Freight Train From Nowhere by Shelley J Alongi My perspective on why I feel so keenly the loss of robert M. Sanc... [1,831 words]
Metrolink 111: Taking The Curve by Shelley J Alongi Another trip to the fullerton station and plans to commune with the Chatsworth ... [1,408 words]
Metrolink 111: So What Do I Know About Trains? by Shelley J Alongi Stories start in the strangest places. I never would have though... [977 words]
Metrolink 111: Looking Hell In The Eyes by Shelley J Alongi Another step on my journey through the Metrolink 111 Sept 12 crash; a s... [1,557 words]
Metrolink 111: It's All About Lunch by Shelley J Alongi Never turn down an invitation to lunch and always make good memories. Good ... [909 words]
Metrolink 111: Being With Trains by Shelley J Alongi A second trip to the Fullerton train station allows me to get started on an id... [3,040 words]
Kitty Kisses: The Feline Moving Day Blues by Shelley J Alongi Moving with two cats. [1,239 words]
The Unheard Of Name by Graham Reynolds Graham, it�s not a name you here everyday now is it? In fact I have only met one other pers... [235 words]
Memorial To A Train Engineer by Shelley J Alongi Personal reflection on the crash of Metrolink 111. [963 words]
Covert Now To Islam by Wael El-Manzalawy - [241 words]
Bernie Mac by Jeffrey Williams Jr A Loss? [627 words]
Simply The Best by James Donaldson Collins The story of the rise and fall of Bobby Fischer [2,259 words]
A Great Loneliness by James Donaldson Collins A plea for understanding of how the wolf fits into our world. [1,499 words]
Kitty Kisses: Affection With Stipulations by Shelley J Alongi Signing a contract with a cat can be a pleasant affair. [664 words]
The Tyrant Of Egypt by Wael El-Manzalawy - [108 words]
The Dictator Of Egypt by Wael El-Manzalawy - [705 words]
Music, Ignore Please by Mark E S Hanson Ignore [327 words]
Media Coursework by Mark E S Hanson Ignore please [3,091 words]
Media Coursework, Don't Bother by M Hanson A-- [649 words]
No Title Just Bs by Sheridan Pickett A line of BS that is sure to confuse. There is about 1000 pages of this random crap. Should I ... [1,204 words]
Interviews From Hell by Jeffrey Lee Williams Hunting for the perfect position can be Hell. Here is a small example. [1,450 words]
Alone With Others by Elena Kravtsova A story about one lady's life which makes others feel sorry... [603 words]
Unbridled Fury: The Subconscious by R Bennett Okerstrom Subconscious thought... [365 words]
Unbridled Fury: The Battle To Breathe by R Bennett Okerstrom Subconscious thought... [685 words]
What�S Wrong With Assimilation? by Richard Koss This essay was originally written in 2006 when the Senate was considering an Im... [453 words]
My Dad by T Demarest - [306 words]
Media by M Hanson Don't comment, I just need this [478 words]
Existence Manifesto by Brandon Gregory Ryner Coltress A philosophy paper that I wrote. Maybe it started out as a letter to a friend. Maybe it s... [1,354 words]
Drama, Ignore It by Hanson Ignore it [1,850 words]
Dedicated To The Best Teacher In My Life by Elena Kravtsova This is an ode to a university teacher who influenced the author's per... [326 words]
True Stories About True People Story 3--'the Power Of Love.Mother's.' by Elena Kravtsova We love our mothers and sometimes are shy... [702 words]
The Islamic Dream by Wael El-Manzalawy - [338 words]
Kitty Kisses: Cat Wisdom by Shelley J Alongi After three years of cohabitating with cats, what have I learned? Read this entertaini... [1,383 words]
An Itsy Bitsy Lesson by Dee Sleng The way it works. [464 words]
What Is Heaven? by Wanderer Bass - [211 words]
Transfusion by Julie Fonda How one woman regroups after a chaotic day. [730 words]
Rant - Stupid Kids by Wanderer Bass Here's a rant that we all share when we think about stupid highschool kids. [718 words]
Mommy by Jae Rae It's more of a letter than an essay. It's something I wrote to my mom on Mother's Day. [597 words]
If You Don't Like It... by Wanderer Bass To all the people who don't have a brain out there. [349 words]
On Turning Seventy by Liilia Morrison A woman ponders the march of time [717 words]
In Soviet... by Wanderer Bass Just a bunch of random "In Soviet..." tidbits I thought up. If any of these are offensive to you, ... [83 words]
Go to page: 1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 9 10 11
| |
TITLE (EDIT)
Unrealistic Reality |
DESCRIPTION
-
[319 words] |
AUTHOR
Michelle Mercier |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
-
[October 2008] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (3)
Scattered Love (Poetry) - [86 words]
So Much Time (Essays) - [740 words]
The Dream Of Not Real (Poetry) - [117 words]
|
Unrealistic Reality
Michelle Mercier
I bounce back and forth between reality and my distorted belief of reality. More often than not I can�t tell the difference, I am often so tired, yet I can�t sleep. So, it�s like I�m dreaming while I�m awake. Or am I sleeping, and the dream just feels so real? Am I sleepwalking or am I actually awake doing this? I am so tired I can�t tell.
It�s like I�m always standing in the background, watching my own like from a distance. Like it�s a show that I�m watching and I�m the star. But I�m not the director; I have not control over what�s happening. It�s exhausting watching me. I�m in so much pain. I put so much energy, yet achieve so little.
I need to be emptied, drained; maybe if I were vacantly weightless, just maybe then I could have some peace.
Peace would be finding out that all this time has only been a nightmare. I�m just sleeping. None of this is real. I�m seventeen again and fine and happy. No mental illness. No nothing, just the excitement of youth again.
That�s unrealistic talk if I�ve ever heard any. In twenty-four, and I�m bipolar. I�m not happy. There�s not excitement, except when I�m manic and that�s fake.
I have a fear that this will never end; that this reality is what my life will be. It will never get any better. Luckily, it will also never get any worse.
It just seems like every time I make a little headway, I get blown back so hard the wind is knocked out of me. I feel like I�m always starting everything over again. I�m always moving backwards and not forwards. I feel like I�m in one of those commercials where everyone is moving so fast but one person is standing still, and I�, the ones standing still.
However, I guess for not, that�s my reality.
|
|
Submit Your Review for Unrealistic Reality
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.
|
|
Submit Your Rating for Unrealistic Reality
|
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2008 Michelle Mercier |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
October 2008 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1357
|
|
