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Existence Manifesto
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Existence Manifesto
A philosophy paper that I wrote. Maybe it started out as a letter to a friend. Maybe it started out as a philosphy paper. I can't remember.
[1,354 words]
Brandon Gregory Ryner Coltress
I majored in Philosophy. I finished college in November of 2006 at the University of Alabama at Birmingham
[November 2007]
[email protected]
Existence Manifesto
Brandon Gregory Ryner Coltress

Existence Manifesto
Because I have a writing style, I’m writing you a letter, right now. My letter writing style is a good style, I think, because It is something solid/concrete/stable. I think that by having a letter writing style, you have a root to writing letters. Once I figured out my style, I decided to write you because I wanted to communicate with you. Grounded by my style, I figured I could certainly write you a letter not only acceptable by my own standards, but also one that could be called good. Once you have a letter writing style, you always have something to refer to.
This letter contains the factual/real/ fact/answer of the nature of our existence and also a recommendation for living. I’ll start with the nature of our existence.
We are fertilizer (enricher) from fertilizer. That’s the only way that we can exist. We could not exist unless there was a precursor to our existence. People and everything else in existence except God (I’m speaking about the one from the Holy Bible) is fertilizer from fertilizer.
Remember that if the Christian God of the Holy Bible exists, God is included in everything. So, if God has existed for ever, then, God is not fertilizer from fertilizer.
If you think there was a beginning to the universe, then everything is fertilizer from fertilizer.
You may think there is no God.
Anyway…So if you and I are fertilizer or help for the future and we are brought into existence by the past, then in the present, why don’t we help ourselves get money? Why don’t we help ourselves get immediate/instant gratification?
We are called fertilizer or enricher, right? So what about our existence on the planet? Why don’t we say that instead of being on the earth, we say we are in richer?
We are faced with the question of, “Do we help ourselves or others?” I think the true answer is to help ourselves, only. Maybe that philosophy goes by a name, i.e. survival of the fittest, or take care of yourself.
So, where do we go from here? The answer is to get as much help as possible…if that’s all we are… You know? Enricher…In richer…
Become billionaires…always eat good…eat, drink, and be merry. Fertilizer or enricher from enricher. Help ourselves. Get diamonds… Fuck (forget) everybody else. We are help to the universe. We are related to everything because of the big bang. Where did the fertilizer of the Big Bang come from?
Alan Guth says the first fertilizer was negative energy. I came up with what follows.
Time always existed in the meaning of it. The concept of time is one of infinity. We believe that time has no beginning and no end. Even at the supposed end of the universe, time will still be ticking.
You may be asking…what do I want. Since we are help to the universe and while I’m here, my plan is to help myself, I may want to do nothing instead of something…At times to do something instead of nothing… I may want money to give away to the poor. I may want money to buy the services of prostitutes.
I want to rock shows. I want a recording contract and 130 billion dollars.
Time said to itself, “I’m sad,” and that was the negative energy that started the universe. It was breath. You know…you get fertilizer from fertilizer…then you get mad (negative) what was the 1st fertilizer? A: Negative energy. You ask…what was the 1st fertilizer…negativity…that’s what. So, what do you do if we are “in richer” or fertilizer from fertilizer? Instant/Immediate gratification. I’ve got a little rhyme for you.
A direction word for a nerd/down/and loud around the town/is the spirit (sentiment) that the homeless man’s free/because whether man or woman/the animal roams alone/on the streets/surely there’s no home (dwelling)/they can call their own/
I am something related to all other things because since creation things have evolved from “the unit” to now (the clock’s ticking) and I exist. We used to pee and poop outside. I think we should go back to that because it’s natural. At the same time, we can’t blame ourselves for making indoor plumbing. It is a luxury. The environment suffers. But we are enricher from enricher. Why not ball it out (you know…balers…big spenders)? The technology we use today is causing global warming (whether true or false, I made that fact up). The technology we make is fertilizer from fertilizer. Alien technology is fertilizicking) and I exist. We used to pee and poop outside. I think we should go back to that because it’s natural. At the same time, we can’t blame ourselves for making indoor plumbing. It is a luxury. The environment suffers. But we are enricher from enricher. Why not ball it out (you know…balers…big spenders)? The technology we use today is causing global warming (whether true or false, I made that fact up). The technology we make is fertilizer from fertilizer. Alien technology is fertilizer from fertilizer.
We can’t think that we’re gonna have alien technology on the planet that ruins it. It’s fertilizer just like the planet that they came from is.
I made up two names for God. The first name is embarrassment. The second name is toup. To toup somebody is to give them the short end of the stick. Examples of a touping is stepping on someones toe, assaulting them, stealing their place in line.
Someone might say…What’s going on is just what’s destined to happen since the start of the universe. Everything is predestined because of the law of the domino effect.
A rapper, Spitticus, said something like, “maybe if I wasn’t here, time wouldn’t exist.” Another rapper, Westside Wolverine said something that I took from to make this statement: Everytime you do something, you take from the “dead man’s always.”
An example of taking from the Dead Man’s Always is killing something. The dead man (a corpse) says, “you can’t take back the past.” Back to pissing and shitting outside…
We used to pee outside. That was fertilizer to/for the plants. Also there are in existence beings that are 50% plant and 50% animal (I made that up, whether it is true of false.)
The sun, stars, planets, all this stuff is alive, right? I mean, I’m going to leave it up to the good Lord to decide what’s alive or not. I was saying we should let the fertilizer go back to the earth. I want to bring up the topic of there being other dimensions. There are no other dimensions. There is only one everything, so there are no other dimensions.
With aliens, our eyes shouldn’t see through sight and stare at them like they’re from 25 million years in the future. It’s just true that their race is older, like the race of cockroaches is older. They’ve been around for millions of years. They’ve been communicating for millions of years. And, when we look at them, we just say, ok normal cockroaches. But they don’t look in a way that we automatically say…they’re millions of years older than us…they look so differently than we do. But we do not know cockroaches’s intelligence levels…Because they’ve been talking to each other for millions of years, they must be smarter than we are.
We are made in the image of god. We have living and non living parts. We can’t be ignored. We have no way of knowing when we started.
There are so many things going on here at URM. People taking showers, eating breakfast, lunch and dinner and stuff…
Two rules of you know what… 1) I can’t be ignored…In that way, I am self aware. 2) I have no way of knowing my origin.
To Brandon Coltress, personally:

fun is always going on. happiness is momentary.

fun is a transitive noun. happiness is an intransitive noun.

we want to be obese. that would be fun.

we don't want to be happy over having fun.

plants can kill themselves. it hurts worse than it does for an animal to kill itself.

My style is to write something and then tell you why I wrote what I wrote. I would like to write something interesting
Brandon Coltress



"The real art of writing lies in not having to tell the reader why you wrote what you wrote. Better to have the reader guess that your motives were profound rather than have him find out you really don't know what the hell you're trying to say. " -- Lester.
"i guess i wrote this to have the reader guess. a profound motive is to tell somebody anything about existence. we're not supposed to ask questions." -- Brandon Coltress, Birmingham, Al, usa.


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© 2006 Brandon Gregory Ryner Coltress
November 2007

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