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Hello, Obsession. My Name Is Paranoia.
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Hello, Obsession. My Name Is Paranoia.
The deceivingly innocent penguins attack.
[653 words]
Michelle Bernard

[December 2007]
michelle.bernar[email protected]
Only For You (Poetry) A poem for my one and only love. [178 words] [Relationships]
Hello, Obsession. My Name Is Paranoia.
Michelle Bernard

She has an obsession. It is on the verge of becoming an addiction. I’m not talking about drugs. It’s all about the penguins. Yeah, you heard me. Penguins.

Don’t ask me why. I don’t understand, yet I live with her. They are everywhere. I share the same room with her, and all I see is penguins. In our small, two-bedroom apartment, I can’t escape them. They are everywhere. All over the window-sill, the floor, her bed, and the wall. There is no escape.

When she chooses to annoy me or when I apparently did something wrong, she throws them at me. I never thought penguins could fly. They can now. It reminds me of that old Alfred Hitchcock movie called The Birds. They all just sit there and stare at you. Make one wrong move, and they’ll attack like ferocious rabid dogs going in for the kill. I swear on my left foots pinky toenail that they’re out to get me. One day, they’ll find me dead, impaled by the beak of one of those horrible creatures.

Looks are deceiving. They appear all cute and innocent, but I know the truth - those damn penguins are out for blood. And I am next on their list. They want me out of the picture so that they may consume what is left of my side of the room. I can’t seem to concentrate while I am in there. I am constantly looking around, swearing to myself that they are inching closer while forming a circle around me so that there is no where for me to run.

The big one. The leader. Mr. Big Cheeks is his name. He hates me. He and his large puffy cheeks that resemble an albino woman’s breasts without the nipples hates me with every fiber of his being. He runs the whole show. Secretly plotting to kill me in my sleep. He is out for not only blood, but also the world. Slowly building up his army, recruiting more and more stuffed penguins to aid him in his conquests.

I can’t sleep at night for fear they may strike at any moment. No, I’m not paranoid. I’m just terrified of them. Her penguins. Her murderers. Her army of assassins.

“One by one, the penguins steal my sanity” is written on a postcard that hangs on her wall. They may have stolen her sanity, but I will be strong. They will not take me. They will not twist me or shape me into what they want me to be, like the way they did it to my sister.

They continually try to break me. They’ve tried beating me, kidnapping me, tying me down, stripping me of my clothes, drawing penguins on me, raping me, tickling me, and lynching me from the ceiling fan all the while beating me with spatulas until I bleed as if I’m a piñata and they want to rip me open for my sugary goodness. But they still haven’t broken me.

So here I sit in the corner of my room, rocking back and forth and holding my fork for protection. Rocking helps me stay awake along with the help of my caffeine pills, my eight 2-liters of Coca Cola, and my six gallons of coffee as a last resort because I hate coffee, but I can’t let them know that. They’ll just use that against me. Like the time Kerrie told them that I hate tomatoes and the next day, they put me in a tub of diced tomatoes, shoved a whole tomato in my mouth, and made me sing the “I Love Mr. Big Cheeks” song seventeen times in a row. They gave me a break after the seventeenth time. They must have been in a good mood that day.

They’re coming for me again. I can feel it. They’re coming to “play” with me again. But this time, I’ll be ready. This time, I’ll fight back. This time, I’ll sleep peacefully.




"Weird, but has it's funny moments. This story remids me alot of those old Goosebums books, specifically Night of the Living Dummy and Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes, where seemingly harmless objects are really alive and out to cause trouble. " -- Steven.


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© 2007 Michelle Bernard
December 2007

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