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The Hopeless Romantic: Proud To Be Foolish
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The Hopeless Romantic: Proud To Be Foolish
[620 words]
Charles Cotterman
[September 2002]
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The Hopeless Romantic: Proud To Be Foolish
Charles Cotterman

The power of holding someone can be so important in your life. If you are in love with someone, if you are with them, holding can be more powerful than any sex can ever be… to be alive, and be close to someone, feeling their heartbeat could possibly be the most powerful thing anyone has ever felt. There is a certain connection that comes when someone’s arms are wrapped around you, a deep-rooted feeling when someone is stroking your hair, or looking into your eyes, that can’t be mimicked in a relationship without love. A song on the radio is much more incredible when two human beings, completely still and completely silent, sit still and listen to every part of it, without ever speaking to each other. Think about the person you know who you feel this with—the person who would never let you down, who would never, for the world, hurt you. It may be the person you’re with—and it may not be.
Love is the music of the heart. It can excite you, wake you up, or it can calm you, lull you into a pleasant slumber where the horrors of the world don’t seem so bad. It can inspire tears, or it can make you dance. It’s so complicated when you try to figure it out, but so simple when you just listen to it.
To see two people walk along the street, holding hands, and never talking, is the most beautiful thing I think I have ever seen. To see a couple sitting on a bench just staring into each other’s eyes—that’s love.
        I'm the biggest hopeless romantic you'll ever find. I'm the door-opener, the flower-giver, the type of guy who will always make sure 'ladies first' is held true. Chivalry has become a point in my life so large that I can't ignore it anymore. Do I feel bad about this, am I embarrassed by it? Nope. I finally figured out that no matter how much it doesn't seem to pay off at the moment, in 5,10, maybe 20 years I could be the happiest man on Earth, doing my best every day to make some woman the happiest woman on Earth. At least, I'd do my best.
        I have trouble believing that people are against being romantic, but I can understand why. It's a tough set of ideals to live by, because that's what it is, idealism. I'm a huge sufferer of the "Happily Ever After Syndrome", and I have been since preschool. A lot of girls do that to me--make me try and be the best that I possibly can for them. For the record, High Fidelity was a great movie, it *was* happily ever after--it just took a lot of reality to get there. Watch any 80's era teen movie and you'll see it over and over again, unlikely couples getting together purely for love. This may not happen often these days, but it does occasionally, I've seen it within my own group of friends.
        I probably have plenty to be bitter about--I once had an Ex. of mine ditch me--at the Valentine's Dance--On my birthday--two days before our anniversary. But I just can't do it, no matter how hard I try, I always end up becoming a sap, and I'm proud of it.
        Love does exist, in all it's romantic forms, but these days it lays dormant, probably waiting for a time when people will actually find it desirable again. For now, the few who actually appreciate it wait for each other to crawl out of the woodwork and become visible to one another, so that they can be happy without so much of a wait.



"Wow, thank you for writing this. People keep telling me that I should write a response to my ex, but I don't feel it's worth it. Besides, you said it better than I could have. I have always believed that you should love with your heart and not with your head, so to speak. Thank you for giving me hope that there are others out there who still share my ideals." -- Kate, Salisbury, MD.
"It's a great pleasure to know that there are still other gentlemen out there and that I'm not alone. I think you and I could be twins, brother. I'll be sure to read more of your stuff as soon as you share it on here with the rest of the world. " -- Bruce, San Luis Obispo, CA, U.S.A..
"Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. You are a good friend, with a valid point. Your article has touched the heart of the Robster. And you I have had conversations on this recently, and agree and dissagre on many things. Still I value your opinion as my friend, and as a fellow who shares my "Happily Ever After" syndrome. Great article. I may now have to post a follow up. Or we could do one together. Thanks for the different spin. " -- Robert, Westminster, md, usa.
"I don't know what you've been saying to Rob, but his new article makes him sound, to quote the film 10 Things I Hate About You, like "some heinous breed of loser" which is making me look pretty bad for actually dating him. At least now I see his true colors. I don't know why he likes to brag so much that you are his friend. Maybe because he doesn't have many." -- Kate.
"No bashing Rob. He's a good friend of mine, and I'm proud to call him that. The differing feels of these articles are in no way an indication that Rob and I are incredibly different people, only that we have differing opinions on something we are both (Fortunately? Unfortunately? I'd like to think it's the former) afflicted with. And if that was a slight toward me, alas, you hardly know me. But I don't think that it was, only that it can be construed as such. And now, on to write a new article. Look for it soon..." -- Charles.
"I think you and Rob should go out. I already suggested this idea to him." -- Kate.
"By the way, I have no desire to get to know you because you are obviously turning Rob into a psychopath." -- Kate.
"Again I say, why do you feel the need to personally attack me? I've done nothing to you. And for your information, Rob and I have gotten into near fist fights over our differing opinions. This is just a healthier way to fight. I fear for your mental health, however, seeing as you can't seem to leave it the hell alone. Get over yourself already." -- Charles.
"Hey Kate, who the hell are you to tell this guy how to right? Stop pining after your ex or whatever your doing and go find a healthier outlet than obsessing over some guy's writing. Get a damn life, for all of our sakes." -- Hal.
"Um excuse me Hal, but you need to mind your own damn business and learn how to spell" -- Kate.
"Loved the article. I guess what my mom always said is true: There is still a few remaining gentlemen out there that will open doors for you and all that stuff. And to Kate from what I've seen on here and heard you seem to be the psychopath not Rob. He's a very different person with ideas of his own and no one is going to make him change. We had a different relationship and it was also very hard because of the different race matter me being white and him being black, but he's still a good guy who I will always love and will always cherish the times we spent together. And it seems to me that you can't get over him or you wouldn't be over and over again bashing him and his friends. Rob's ex." -- Kris.
"There was a girl named Kristal that was a friend a Rob's but thay never dated, and I don't think the general public gives a crap if you believe someone you have never met, or if this is Rob, had your heart broken by, is insane. You obviously don't have a clue and are lashing out. I believe that relational problems should be dealt with in private without involving other people that are not involved. I believe that Rob is the insane one, first bringing his problems onto this website and then threatening Kate and her family on the internet. "Kris" I will email you what he wrote if you need proof that he is insane. Actually neither one of them is insane, breaking off a relationship is just hard. Don't you understand that? Kate is my friend, and I don't think that people that don't even know her have any business judging her. I think she has been through enough just dealing with Rob for so long. By the way they were also an interacial couple, you poor baby." -- Shauna.
"I am friends with Kristal, and not only has she never dated Rob, she would never be that judgemental. " -- Sarah.
"First of all my name is not Kristal it's Kristin and I did date Rob a year ago. You probably don't know me because I live in Kentucky. So, don't be saying over and over that you know me when you don't." -- Kris.
"Rob is pure evil, Satan spawn. He fits the profile of a wife beater, child abuser, or serial killer. Notice how he needs to attack both his ex girlfriend and his former best friend, and he tries to get his friends who don't know either party to get involved. Why are you friends with Satan anyway?" -- Mo.
"Hmm..well..this continues, doesn't it? Even though Rob may be violent and have a strange attraction to violent films with little to no artistic value, he is not the kind of guy who would abuse children, and yes, I do not think he would beat a wife either, unless she makes fun of John Woo. As for Kris, well..it's nice to see you have turned up again, and so subtly too. Did he finally buy the "oh I do still love you" bit?" -- The German.
"Charlie, I must confess myself a votary to love. I agree whole-heartedly to everything you have said. Of course, I suppose you already knew this due to our past experiences with the fairer sex. " -- Brentyn .


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© 2001 Charles Cotterman
May 2001

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