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TITLE (EDIT)
Ramblings Of A Crazy Dude |
DESCRIPTION
hee hee. I can write whatever I want in here! bwa ha.
Unfortunately, I can't think of anything clever to say.
damn.
[629 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor |
AUTHOR
Michael Hunter |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I'm half Korean, I love music, composing and performing. I play basketball in my spare time, and love to write. I especially love the fantasy genre, but I write and read in other areas too.
[April 2000] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
hunter-97@worldnet.att.net |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (8)
3 Riddles (Poetry) I wrote these riddles for my Medieval Literature class. I was only supposed to do one, but I had so much fun that I decided to do two more. The second riddle is the only one that relates to medieval... [180 words]
I Am You (Poetry) I dunno. you figure it out. I'm tired. [36 words] [Psychology]
Invisible (Poetry) A little something I wrote on a bad day. Any comments would be welcome. [196 words]
Late Night Ranter (Short Stories) Haven't written here in 4 years. Suddenly felt this urge to write. Maybe cause I have homework to do.. [314 words]
Perfection (Essays) Another "college essay". These things are starting to tick me off. Anyway, I decided to go a different route and tried a philosophical angle, which I've never really done before. So if you start ge... [452 words]
Screw Common Sense (Essays) It's a college essay thingy. I was just reading some sample essays and got an urge to write my own. dunno why. hope you enjoy it. [993 words] [Humor]
Stop Your Complaining (Poetry) This doesn't strike me as a particularly novel idea, still, after another day of listening to almost all my friends' gripings I felt the need to write. It just seems that everything nowadays is a soa... [151 words]
The Beginning Of A Hero (Short Stories) Well, it's in the fantasy genre. Hum. It's pretty much self-explanatory, it's the prologue to a novel I'm beginning to write. I just wanted to get some opinions on what needs improvement. I know i... [894 words]
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Ramblings Of A Crazy Dude
Michael Hunter
I like writing. I’m not a particularly great writer, I don’t use big words like verisimilitude and antidisestablishmentarianism. I wish I could, because they’re pretty cool, but most of the time I think I can accurately convey what I want to say, with simple language. For example:
Me: Whoa.
Friend #1: what?
Me: Girl, with big, breasts…
Friend #2: (smack) Come back to us Mike
Me: No, we like breasts…
Friend #1: Shoot, we lost him again.
Me: (drools) hebehgubeh.
Friend #2: Dammit, he’s speaking some weird language again.
Friend #1: Freak. Sounds like Somalian.
Friend #2: Quick, take his wallet.
See? I was able to say exactly what I meant to say without using unnecessarily big words. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what that meaning was, but hell, no one’s perfect. Except for me. Well, actually I couldn’t really say that, because then I couldn’t use the excuse that I’m not perfect to explain why I can’t write decent frigging English that makes some sort of point. Of course you could say that being as perfect as I am, I appear imperfect to everyone else since they are imperfect and have nothing to measure “perfectness” against. I wonder if perfectness is a word. Whoops, rambling again. Well, then again, that is the title of this thing.
Shoot, what the heck was I writing about. I’m really starting to confuse myself now. Maybe that’s because it’s so late at night. Kinda funny, isn’t it, a lot of the people I know come into school all dreary and tired, complaining about how little sleep they got. Naturally, it was because they were staying up late to watch porn on Cinemax, but we don’t really know that. Well, except for me, but I’m god so I’m an exception.
Yeesh, there I go again with that whole ego thing. I’ve been trying to suppress my ego lately, but every so often it breaks free and makes me rip off my shirt in public and start flexing. Of course I’m lying, but it’s an analogy, so tough noogies. I suppose I have a pretty decent body. But then again, everyone does, so long as there’s no source of comparison. I mean, if we killed all the good-looking people in the world, plain-looking people would be pretty damn attractive. Not that I’m making any suggestions, that would silly (KILL ALL ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE). Then we’d all be stuck watching Roseanne and Freaks and Geeks instead of late night porn on Cinemax. Of course, there might still be late night porn on Cinemax, but we probably wouldn’t be watching it. We’d be busy trying to (KILL ALL ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE) bill mall inactive steeple.
Just so you know, I am not a violent person. I have never been in a fight. This is because I have the guts of starfish. Actually, starfish do have guts. It’s kinda nasty really, they force clams open a little bit and sort of shoot their stomach out into the clam. Then they digest it from the inside using enzymes and acids to break down the clam into edible sources of energy. God I love the Discovery Channel. Well, I used to anyway before my parents took away cable. I mean, I still love the Discovery Channel, but I can’t watch it anymore, so it’s really a moot issue. In fact, there is no reason at all to be discussing this. Matter of fact, there’s no reason for me to be talking at all. Hell, I have buttloads of homework, what in God’s name am I doing here, writing some pointless piece of crap at 11:10 pm? Trying to get a laugh or even a smile from people I will probably never even hear from, much less meet?
AUGH!!!! I KEEL YOU ALL!!!!
Uh. Sorry.
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READER'S REVIEWS (2)
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"Cool. One problem, though: I just submitted a story that is a hell of a lot like yours, but I didn't even know yours existed until I looked under newtitles and there was your story. I apologize beforehand for writing "The Insane Ramblings of a Complete Idiot" without first seeing for similarities. My apologies" -- Crazy Clown.
"Oh, and another thing. We are clones, aren't we? We both write at around 11:10 at night, we should be doing homework, we write stuff that we normally wouldn't be able to say publically, and all of our friends (and ourselves, I suppose) watch "skinemax". You wouldn't happen to be adopted, were you?" -- Crazy Clown.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2000 Michael Hunter |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
October 2000 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2257
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