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Did Ya?
Turning Fifty by Danny I. Spitler The author takes a reflective look at reaching the half century mark. [999 words]
The Morning Shower by Danny I. Spitler Does anyone else suffer these issues associated with the morning shower? [940 words]
Stranger To Myself by Omar Longoria “Look in the mirror. The face that pins you with its double gaze reveals a chastening secre... [1,225 words]
A Thanksgiving Monday by Danny I. Spitler The author has a reflective and enlightening evening following Thanksgiving. [809 words]
The Vaporeal Defecation Of A Mental Diarrheatic by Crazy Clown I just had so much fun writing the other two displays of inanit... [951 words]
The Unfortunate Homophobe by Crazy Clown An interspective on a homophobe who wishes he wasn't, and some ideas and opinions on ... [1,131 words]
The Demented Monologue Of A Downright Imbecile by Crazy Clown Another display of foolishness and inanity, from the one who can... [1,246 words]
The Bed by Danny I. Spitler The author gains appreciation for the consistency brought to his life by an inanimate object [791 words]
She's Just Relaxing by Danny I. Spitler She's just relaxing on the sofa; however..... [626 words]
Fathers And Sons And Baseball by Danny I. Spitler Three generations share an uniquely American experience. Opening Day. [1,078 words]
Well, Shit by Crazy Clown A rather... interesting essay on the worlds worst waste. Requires a unique state of mind to enjoy pr... [1,020 words]
Swimming With Sharks by Danny I. Spitler The author experiences an encounter with a large Lemon Shark in Tahiti [835 words]
Some Explanation Is In Order by Crazy Clown You might come to this title expecting a deep, philosophical, or thought-provoking... [447 words]
Ramblings Of A Crazy Dude by Michael Hunter hee hee. I can write whatever I want in here! bwa ha. Unfortunately, I can't thi... [629 words]
My Dog Opposes Communism by Tcn Actually submitted to a high school teacher. I guess I was feeling like a rebel at the... [862 words]
Free Food by Danny I. Spitler There's no such thing as a free lunch. Wrong. There is tons of free food, as this author points out.... [1,031 words]
Dragonball Z - Akira Toryama's Drug Trip? by Crazy Clown An essay worthy of the label of Crazy Clown, about the sheer ludicrou... [989 words]
A Place I'd Like To Forget by Tcn Another school piece. Writing about a grocery store job I held during the summer. I ... [898 words]
It's Wednesday by Danny I. Spitler The author reflects on his lover. [143 words]
Bruce Willis: One Of The Sexiest Men Alive by L Chapman - [176 words]
American Tale by Steven R. Kravsow "I stood behind the old man in the check-out line at the local convenience store. A navy blue Yan... [629 words]
Screw Common Sense by Michael Hunter It's a college essay thingy. I was just reading some sample essays and got an urge to write... [993 words]
Food Stamp Day by L Chapman - [247 words]
Cellular Consciousness: From Quantum Physics To Alternative Medicine by Lissa N Metz-Gomez A research paper linking quantum physics ... [1,660 words]
Why Do Some People Learn A Foreign Language So Easily Whereas Others Find It So Difficult? by J. Rodegheri Have you ever felt ... [2,257 words]
Think Before You Write by Richard Koss My observations, after reading the work of many aspiring young writers, prompted me to w... [988 words]
After The Rain - How The West Lost The East by Sam Vaknin An anthology of 180 previously published articles and essays regard... [11,318 words]
Philosophical Musings by Sam Vaknin More than 150 essays about various topics in current philosophy. The main emphases are on... [10,353 words]
Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin The Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Pathological Narcissism De... [5,066 words]
The Value Of Material Things by Jennifer Nobile Raymond This was an essay I entered for a contest in Ladie's Home Journal. [749 words]
Lime's Diary Of Madness by Lime a true story [782 words]
Whispering To Death by Lewd Muse Not quite sure why I wrote this. I just let my muse take control and saw what happened. E... [279 words]
The Lost Generation by Julia Riffle A short essay. [789 words]
The Debate Goes On by Clark G Curtis This is a personal look at the wonderful world of boxer shorts and jockey underwear and why ... [1,507 words]
On Art (II) - The Response Of The True And Artificial Artists To Inspiration by Erik The second of my essays on art. H... [1,058 words]
On Art (I) - The True Vs. The Artificial Artist by Erik This is the first of a collection in the making on my views abo... [1,373 words]
Getting A Free Lunch On Bay Street by Howard Freedman This is about freeloaders and annual corporate meetings... They ain't there... [756 words]
Colombia by Iveth Jaramillo A DEEP SELF-ANALYSIS OF A CHILD'S FEELINGS. [370 words]
No To The Death Penalty by Alejandro Dubois Arrese This is an essay saying why the death penalty should be illegalized in the United State... [314 words]
Adoptions by Juliana Carrillo An essay. [678 words]
Qualities Of The Perfect Teacher by Laura Méndez This is just kind of a personal essay of what I think are the qualities of the... [449 words]
Life by Carolina Arango - [591 words]
Global Vision by Iveth Jaramillo What I think all of us look like. [333 words]
Friends Are Forever by Adriana Garcia An essay. [991 words]
Poem Analysis by Ana Lucia Mora An essay. [807 words]
Cloning by Federico Rivera Burrowes An essay. [651 words]
An Education Problem by Juan Jose Duran Talks about how important it is to educate children. [317 words]
Rocky by Ana Torres - [436 words]
Evil Vs. Goodness by David Valencia - [217 words]
Jewels Of Joy - Life's Little Glories by Abigail I Copuyoc - [468 words]
Freedom by Maria Camila Bernal An essay. [786 words]
A Tour Through Colombia by Juliana Carrillo - [425 words]
Ironic by Juliana Carrillo - [1,456 words]
Songs From My Attic by Steven R. Kravsow While rummaging through my attic, I discovered a box of old sheet music from the turn of th... [1,878 words]
Pride by Erik This is the first of what is intended to be a collection of essays revolving around the Seven Deadly Sins... [1,469 words]
A Dream by Lawrence Vaduva Sometimes dreams are so close to reality it's hard to tell the difference.... [1,005 words]
Intolerance by Erik This is an essay about intolerance, prejudice, and other mad things which should not exist in socie... [1,525 words]
The Girlfriend Before I Lost My Virginity by Jimmy Hap This is a short Essay dedicated to the last innocent realationship an... [483 words]
Remembering Jamie by Jennifer L O'callaghan Thoughts following the unexpected death of an old friend [793 words]
Dragons, A Collection by Gary Bolstridge Dragons - The belief in dreams and inspiration must be encouraged in everyone. [231 words]
Paths To Take, Decisions To Make by A C Christine An essay about deciding on life's many trying ways that can confuse and astoun... [209 words]
Coffee With a Side of Greatness
A Slice of Hope
Saying Goodbye...
...Arawak Language
Suomi (Finland)
Cuban Wall
The Child That I (Never) Knew
Thoughts on Mothers
Oh Canada

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Did Ya?
I wonder if anyone ever thought of any of the stuff I propose?
[597 words]
Matt Tracy
[January 2003]
[email protected]
Evolution Vs. The Second Law Of Thermodynamics (Essays) While studying the second law of thermodynamics, I realized something about the theory of evolution. This isn't as brainy a piece as you would think, but there are some pretty involved concepts. [1,529 words] [Scientific]
God Moth (Short Stories) A look at the perspectives we take on things; and God. The question of who God is is a major focus of the narrator. The narrator's unique perspective is what is the most interesting. [1,390 words] [Spiritual]
On The Singularity Cusp (Short Stories) Learn the lengths to which humans will go to reach immortality. They reach for the stars in the incomprehensible future by latching on to dead stars-black holes. Influenced by the work of Steven Hawki... [2,287 words] [Science Fiction]
The Church (Short Stories) One man has an experience. One like he has never had before, and for good reason [3,463 words] [Mystical]
The One That Got Away (Short Stories) Mark has a weird experience after a night of memories and heavy drinking. [1,427 words] [Suspense]
Did Ya?
Matt Tracy

Did ya ever want to do something that you knew was wrong but just didn't care because it wasn't really that wrong to begin with? Here's an example; did you ever want to just cut the cheese big-time in first class on an airplane? Think about it. You are being herded back to the cattle-car they call coach while the first class passengers sit there, already seated, with their extra leg room, just looking all smug. Wouldn't it be nice to know that by farting in first class section they will seal it in with that segregationist curtain. They may not have to see you for the rest of the flight, by they sure have to smell you for awhile. How do you go about doing it? Do you let an S.B.D. do the covert work; (Silent But Deadly, for the uninitiated)? Or do you stop, draw attention to yourself, and bear down so that it makes a serious roar; letting everyone know what you think about their uppity first class? Maybe you aren't the martyr type, but what could they do? Do you think farting in first class is grounds for being denied air passage? If anyone tries it, let me know.

Maybe you aren't the crude and obnoxious type. In that case, while we're in the airport, did ya ever want to play on the baggage claim belt? I know you have because it is the hope of every human that someday we will all get a ride on the most entrancing of service devices. Maybe that is what heaven is. I don't think anyone would complain if heaven were getting to ride around on a luggage conveyor belt for eternity. Why are we so fascinated with it? Stop trying to think that you aren't, because everyone knows we would trade a ride on the super roller coasters of the world just to come down that suitcase chute. What I propose you do is get a hockey bag; those big duffels that look like they could hold two people. It's a good thing they look that way, because I propose that you get in one, brave the flight, luggage handlers, and their strikes, and ride that chute. Not only will you be living out humanity's dream, but you'll get to scare the hell out of whoever sees you get out of the bag.

Finally; did ya ever want to buy the weirdest combinations of groceries just to screw with the person checking you out. What sort of weird combo am I talking about? Glad you asked. First of all, I am not talking about embarrassing stuff like condoms, tampons, and hemorrhoid cream; people actually have to buy all that stuff at the same time every day. What I am talking about are combinations like bullion cubes, black licorice, diapers, and shaving cream. What would you do with all that? That is exactly what the person checking you out is going to ask. What really makes it weird is that not only are you buying those things, but you are buying only those things. Combos that are good to try are a bucket of deli fried chicken, moth balls, boric acid, tin foil, one radish, and a rental copy of The English Patient. This not only works at grocery stores, but at departments stores as well. Who wouldn't think it strange if a customer came to check out with a werewolf mask, five yards of silk, a potted plant, and the first Genesis compact disc?

Why do I propose that we do strange and off color things? Why not?



"This was hilarious--anyone who likes to think they're above all that mischeief is lying to themselves. Thank you!" -- Nitro.
"Hahhahahahah-that was QUITE funny. " -- Maggie.
"'Hahaha,' wailed humanity. 'Flatulence is funny!' Two thumbs down....WAY down." -- Bennett.


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© 2000 Matt Tracy
November 2000

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