The Authors

Xenmonk i write to stave off the effects of ennui
Xero -
Xie -
Michael Xu My name is Michael Xu and I'm a senior attending John A. Rowland High School. I'm not much a reader, but i lov...
Xuu -
Xuu -

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[March 2004]
A Capital Fart (Short Stories) The redundant London underground is pressed into service to win a world farting contest. [736 words] [Humor] [August 2003] (HITS 2238, REVS. 0)
A Wrong Turn Somewhere (Short Stories) Somewhere near Birmingham a driver takes a wrong turn and loses everything. [492 words] [Mystical] [August 2003] (HITS 2163, REVS. 0)
Amnesty (Short Stories) A gun amnesty in a rough borough of London goes idiotically wrong. [561 words] [Comedy] [August 2003] (HITS 2122, REVS. 0)
Arnie (Short Stories) A little labourer has a terminator approach to his work. [646 words] [Humor] [September 2003] (HITS 2270, REVS. 0)
Back To The Garden (Short Stories) Depressing the extent to which everything is being dumbed down these days. Poor state education? Is that all it is? [527 words] [Mind] [February 2004] (HITS 1931, REVS. 0)
Changing To Go Out (Short Stories) In the aftermath of the genetic bomb, a simple night at the pictures with the missus is no easy task. [444 words] [Humor] [February 2004] (HITS 1976, REVS. 0)
God's Trainees (Short Stories) Him upstairs is thinking of retiring, all he needs to do is train up some suitable replacements. Easier said than done. They just don't make deities the way the used to. [1,570 words] [Humor] [February 2004] (HITS 568, REVS. 1)
Mementoes Of Treasured Occasions (Short Stories) A struggling photographer finds a rich new source of business. [496 words] [Humor] [August 2003] (HITS 2021, REVS. 0)
Providing For Sarah (Short Stories) A desolate man finds comfort in an imaginary (?) companion. But who will care for her when he's gone? [883 words] [Mind] [February 2004] (HITS 1975, REVS. 0)
Sex Life Of The Amoeba (Short Stories) A serious paper on cellular mytosis in a well known eukarytic organism. The dirty little... [1,108 words] [Humor] [August 2003] (HITS 3777, REVS. 1)
Soup (Short Stories) A soup manufacturer ends life on Earth. [514 words] [Comedy] [August 2003] (HITS 2607, REVS. 2)
The Adventures Of Archie 1 - The Great Escape (Short Stories) A sort of Alice in Wonderland meets Canterbury Tales sort of thing but sillier than the former and even more boring than the latter. In episode 1 our elderly rabbit hero escapes his hutch and disappears into the great void. [473 words] [Humor] [March 2004] (HITS 2236, REVS. 1)
The Adventures Of Archie 2 - The Little Demon's Tale (Short Stories) A hell spawned satanic creature identifies too much with men and falls to their level. [901 words] [Humor] [March 2004] (HITS 1942, REVS. 0)
The Adventures Of Archie 3 - The Spider Catcher's Tale. (Short Stories) Archie escapes from the paralysing purple and find himself in a world where an avoidable infestation has eaten all the perspective. There he meets the spider catcher and learns why ballroom dancing is fatal for rats. [1,313 words] [Humor] [March 2004] (HITS 2497, REVS. 1)
The Adventures Of Archie 4a - The Great Regurgitato (Short Stories) Achie learns of the greats of bodily functions and meets the greatest of them all. [781 words] [Humor] [March 2004] (HITS 1912, REVS. 0)
The Adventures Of Archie 4b - The Great Regurgitato's Tale (Short Stories) Continued. [823 words] [Humor] [March 2004] (HITS 1979, REVS. 0)
The Adventures Of Archie 5a - The Army Surplus Salesman (Short Stories) Archie learns the truth they try and keep from us, that being disembowelled is fun, meets a descendant of the Piltdown man and travels to the army surplus fair to find Little Boy is no bargain. [913 words] [March 2004] (HITS 2053, REVS. 0)
The Adventures Of Archie 6 - A Peaceful Solution (Short Stories) Following a Little Boy explosion Archie find himself on a desolate plain and meets two tribes who are too stupid to realise that war and bloodshed are by far the most efficient means of resolving disputes. [1,271 words] [Humor] [March 2004] (HITS 1909, REVS. 0)
The Adventures Of Archie 7 - The Puzzleman's Tale (Short Stories) Archie finds he is not alone in the valley. He shares it with a man in a very strange prison. You have to endure a little homily on man's inhumanity to decorating materials first. [2,988 words] [Humor] [March 2004] (HITS 501, REVS. 0)
The Adventuresof Archie 5b - The Army Surplus Salesman's Tale (Short Stories) Continued. [1,116 words] [March 2004] (HITS 2243, REVS. 0)
The Fly And... (Short Stories) That Geoff Goldblum had it easy! One fly?? I should have been so lucky! [483 words] [Humor] [February 2004] (HITS 2272, REVS. 0)
The Horrid Tale Of Evil Worm (Short Stories) A rare accident in the vegetable patch transforms a humble earthworm into a satanic being. [1,158 words] [August 2003] (HITS 2407, REVS. 1)
The Several Voyages Of Fat Tony (Short Stories) Foul deeds on the dead sea coast get their richly deserved comeuppance. [1,377 words] [August 2003] (HITS 2388, REVS. 0)
The Two Bills (Short Stories) William Shakespeare fails to get to grips with Microsoft Word. [777 words] [August 2003] (HITS 2858, REVS. 0)
Vomiting On Tony (Short Stories) The Mad Messiah (AKA Tony Blair) gets what he thoroughly deserves. [499 words] [Humor] [September 2003] (HITS 2156, REVS. 0)
Your Little God Is Pooh And Creepy Too (Short Stories) Only the innocent find salvation. In the run up to the revelation the kids of St Crispin's Middle School are introduced to their own little salvations. PS I know Buddha was not a god, it's creative license! [1,442 words] [Humor] [February 2004] (HITS 2486, REVS. 1)


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