Beyond A Doubt
"Tell me about this recurring dream that's been troubling you," said the psychologist from behind his clipboard. David sat on a scratchy couch in the office of Dr. Goshen, a head-doctor that his sister had suggested he go to. He'd realized right away that he liked the man when he entered the humble office that was so much like his own home. In a comfortable voice that seemed right at home in the cozy environment, Dr. Goshen asked several questions and had written the answers down as they were given. David was curious as to what conclusions the doctor was drawing form them. "Well, it always starts out at the mall," David related to the doctor, "but I'm not sure where. I can see a few people standing around, but I can't make them out. I try to walk out of the store, but somebody tells me to stop. I turn around and it's a woman." "What did she look like?" David struggled for her description but it maintained its place just out of his reach. "I don't know, I can never remember." "Alright," replied the shrink, scribbling down more words on his notepad. "Go on." "Anyway, she tells me that I have to make a decision. I ask her about what and suddenly one of the people that had been in the store with me became clear. It was the clerk behind the counter. A girl, about my age." "What was this decision?" "She says that I have to choose between me and the checkout clerk," David said, remembering exactly how he had felt as the choice had been laid before him by the mysterious woman. He had known, without the need of an explanation, that the woman was talking about whose life it was that she would have take. "What does she mean by that?" inquired Dr. Goshen. "I was supposed to choose who lived and who died." "Did you pick?" "I always wake up before I get a chance to." This wasn't entirely true. Before the dream ended, he always came to a decision; one he didn't understand, but knew he would honor. He felt it when he woke up, and it clung to him for a few moments before slipping away. The doctor nodded and wrote down what David had said on his paper, or at least, David thought that's what it was that he was writing. He would have loved to catch a peek to be sure. "What I think, David, is that, much like choosing between your life and that of a stranger, you're faced with a difficult decision in your waking life. Is this true?" "No, not particularly." The doctor nodded and copied this down as well. He offered his professional advice for the next fifteen minutes, but very little of it seemed to fit. Soon, the session was over and David felt completely unfulfilled. Dr. Goshen walked him to the door. "Will I be seeing you again, Mr. Hane?" he asked in the same doctor/patient tone. David shook his head. "I don't think so, I think I've gotten all the help I need." "Well, if you change your mind, here's my number." He handed David a card that he seemingly pulled from nowhere. David took it graciously and left the office. Later, the card would lay forgotten on David's dresser and the number would be of no use to him. The session with Dr. Goshen had done nothing but stirred around his thoughts, like a drop of poison mixing with a glass of wine. He trudged to his car and drove home with the stereo blaring. The dream came as it did every night, the only constant in David's sleep cycle. He found himself, as he always did, in an unidentifiable store at the mall near his apartment. At least two other mall-crawlers were present, but they were motionless and their features hidden from him. He turned to exit the store when a soft voice spoke up from behind him. "It's nearly the time, David." He sighed and waited for a moment before turning toward the owner of the voice. When he did, he noticed at first the two cobalt blue eyes studying him. The rest of the figure seemed less, like the eyes were the features meant to be seen. "Time for what?" implored David in a strained voice that seemed about ready to leave him altogether. "For your choice." The voice of the woman floated to him, the words echoing in his head. "Of what?" The woman nodded toward the checkout girl and once again her features became distinguished and David could see her face, preserved in a wide eyed look of shock. He was taken by the beauty of the girl and was nearly overcome by the urge to run his fingers through her short black hair; to kiss her pink lips. He snapped his head back to the mysterious woman. "Why? Why do I have to do this?" "Sometimes the choice is given to the judged," she explained. Her answer did nothing for David, as the shrinks theories had done nothing. "That makes no sense," he pleaded. He took one last look over his shoulder at the checkout girl before everything faded to black. It was the unrelenting drill of his alarm clock that pulled him from sleep. He checked its glowing face to find that it was nine in the morning. He had, for the first time in weeks, gotten a full night's sleep. As he showered, David tried to recall the face of the girl that had so appealed to him, but he found that he couldn't. The only detail of the dream the persisted was the woman's piercing stare. David decided, being the purgatorial year before college and therefore filled to bursting with free time, he would head to the bookstore in the mall. There he would attempt to find a book on dream analysis and would try to pick the dream apart himself. As David entered the bookstore he wondered if it were the same store that had haunted his sleep over the last couple of weeks. He couldn't remember if it was a bookstore or not. David wound his way through the shelves and shelves of books until he found what he was looking for. He squatted down and examined the row of books that rested on the bottom shelf. He found two that seemed appropriate and stood with them in hand. "Hey, those look neat." The sudden outburst nearly made David drop the items he'd been about to purchase. It came from the smiling girl to his left, whom he'd been to engrossed in his search to notice. "Um, yeah." "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," apologized the young woman, tucking some of her blonde hair behind an ear. "You didn't---,"he began, but stopped. It was obvious that she did. He had nearly dropped his books on her. "So, what's your name?" The girl smiled again and held out her hand to him. He shook it softly. "Natalie. Natalie Burden." "I'm David." "I didn't mean to bother you, but you looked like an interesting person so I wanted to meet you." "What do you mean?" "Well, you just had this look on your face like you were concentrating really hard, or something. I thought it was cute." David laughed and could feel his face redden a little. With Natalie following behind him, he went to the checkout counter and paid for his books, of which he'd already lost interest in. He was more interested in getting to know the strange girl. They searched for a place to sit and talk and the bench near the map of the mall was decided upon. "So that's what those books are for," said Natalie after David had told her of his dream. He'd left out going to the psychiatrist. He already felt dumb for jumping so quickly to professional help. "Yeah, little self-help never hurt, right?" David said. "Nope." She looked down at her watch and stood suddenly. "Shoot! I gotta go pick up one of my girlfriends and take her someplace. Can we meet here tomorrow? Same time?" David was struck by how much what she just said sounded like an excuse to get out of talking to him ( he was paranoid that way), but he agreed to meet her again. "Cool, I'll see you then, then." He watched her leave and was filled with mixed emotions as he did. Eventually, he went home himself. The next day he was back at the same bench, waiting for a girl he'd known only for a few hours. He was just about to leave when she arrived, half an hour late. "Hey,"she greeted. "Hi," David said, relieved and surprised to see her again. "You're late." "Naw, I've been here for an hour. I was over there watching you." She pointed to a large circle of tables in the food court. David laughed. "Why?" "To see if you'd show." "Oh." They talked like old friends for the next three hours, until the store clerks began pulling down the chain gates that guarded against burglars and the lights began to blink out. "Same time tomorrow?" offered David. Natalie shook her head. "I gotta work tomorrow. But you can come and visit me." "Oh? Where do you work?" "Here at the mall. At one of the clothing stores. Amerigo Nation, ever been there?" "Few times." "Well, I get in at ten, so I'll see you then?" "Sure thang chicken wang." Natalie laughed and kissed his cheek. They said goodbye and left the mall, the security close behind them to lock up. His sleep was long and unbroken. He made his way to the Amerigo Nation the following day and found that it wasn't like most of the other stores in the building. Instead of having a large front opening that was covered by a metal gate at the end of the day, it had only a single door. He went through it and searched for Natalie amidst the various articles of clothing. He went up to the counter to ask a dark haired sales woman if she'd come in yet when he realized that it was her. "Woa, you dyed your hair," he said with a laugh. "Yeah, I cut it too, do you think it's too short?" she said, stapling the tags back on a shirt and a pair of pants. "No, I love it. It makes me want to---" he stopped. "Makes you want to what? "I was going to say it makes me want to run my fingers through it." "Aw, thanks." They chatted for a while, David careful to get out of the way of any customer ready to check out and Natalie careful not let her boss see her talking on the job, when a man in a ratty overcoat entered the store. His head swung from side to side over slumped shoulders, greasy hair dangling in front of his face. He scanned the store hurriedly and noticed Natalie. He stumbled over to the counter and David stepped out of his way to let him pass, all to aware of the stench raising from him. The man shot a diseased look at David, which caused him to take a step back. There was something about the man's eyes that troubled him. They seemed very out of place on the gangly, and obviously deranged, individual. They rested in their sunken sockets like two precious sapphires, glinting with the florescent lighting. Natalie began her customary greeting when the man ripped a very large handgun from his coat pocket and jabbed it in her direction. He uttered only a few rasping breaths before pulling the trigger. David wasn't sure what he was seeing. He knew he should be seeing Natalie, whom he'd been helpless to save from the unpredicted wrath of the crazed man, collapsed on the floor, a gaping hole in her chest where there hadn't been moments before. What he saw instead was a bullet, suspended in the air a foot away from his face. He turned to the greasy haired man and found that he was just as still. As was the entire mall, it would seem. Through the store's tall glass windows he could see shoppers frozen in mid step. He saw couples paused in their conversations. He saw the all too familiar expression on Natalie's face. "Oh my God," David managed, feeling his throat close up. "The choice stands before you now David," said the same voice that had offered him the same decision night after night; the voice of the blue eyed woman. "Once a century the option is laid before they who's time has come. The option of life." She stood behind the gun-wielding bum, peering down its barrel at Natalie. "I was supposed to die today, wasn't I?" David demanded of her. She responded with a gentle nod. "Yes, but now you are given a choice, David." David took a step toward Natalie, examining her rigid expression. "I can let her die instead." "That is correct." "But it's me who is supposed to go." "Yes. Today, Death will come for one soul---that cannot be changed---but the choice is in your hands. Quickly, decide." David had already made his decision, in his vague and disorienting dream, and now came the time to enact it. "I don't really have a choice," David said stepping in front of the patient bullet. "Okay, let's go." "So have you chosen, David. It is your soul I shall claim." She vanished, leaving David with only a pain in his chest and a ringing in his ears. He sank to his knees and watched his blood pour over his fingers. He twisted his head around enough to see Natalie screaming; he heard nothing, only his own dwindling heartbeat. Then all was black.
Copyright © 2004 J Shartzer |