Tony Sayers Ideologies TONY SAYERS’ IDEOLOGIES THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN FOR EMMA MUDDIMAN Welcome to the wondrous, unreal, and almost true to life ideologies of Tony Sayers. Some of these extracts from pieces of paper written on impact of inspiration may reach to you, and help you in any situation. This book was compiled in 2 weeks, but the work created took over 6 years of inspiration. You may wish to use these for yourself, I don’t mind, if extracts like “the subtle touch of lips” look like they could save yourself from a failing relationship, then by all means, use it. When you are feeling down, look at an extract that you like, and live on. This book will make you think, about your life, and may attack some of your ideals, for that I am sorry, but I hope by the time you have finished this book, I have opened your minds a little, to the world outside. So in the end, you will be able to walk out into the light, and face the world, once again. Welcome to a new world, welcome to a new reality, so in the end, you can say… Welcome, to my world: OPINION OF CIRCUMSTANCE If one person in the world has the ability to take everyone’ pain in the world, how would that effect everyone else, what if that person gave back that pain, that person would only be able to hold as much pain as people have it the world before dying. Is it correct to use someone else to benefit yourself, or it is a manner of opinion with circumstance. Does the basic routine of life consume happiness and love? To the younger eye it would appear so. Going to work everyday, coming back to work for an hour and going to bed for the next day’s work, life in a manner can take over someone’s freedom. Are we forced to work in order to live, many people agree and so do I. The youth are submitted to more broken homes everyday, which leads them to do things beyond a posh person’s imagination. Is suicide wrong, being submitted to a broken home is a part of circumstance, is suicide correct if it benefits yourself, think about it, are you only harming yourself not others in the process of circumstance. Can one do what he/she wants to do with their life without harming others? Many people do not completely know the blessing of life itself, understandable that many children and people wish to take that away themselves. Should one look to the stars without a dream, without ambition. Without one dream in one life ambition is not created and a real life cannot come out of a dreamless culture. I am not a religious person but I believe that of a superior being has given us life surely we should repay by using it to our full advantage. Determination is the easiest thing to lose but the hardest to gain, we can thank today’s society for that, does this get in the way of our dreams and living out the life we are given or is it another process of circumstance, I blame this life for my problems which can be completely correct if one has already tried to make their lives happy. Is the only glimmer of hope in this world is love? Or do the schoolyard gossip destroy that as well. One should not look to the meaning of life instead of living it; anyone heard of curiosity killed the cat. It could be that our origin is so completely sick that people will not decide to live their life anymore, how can something so pure become so cruel? Can simple words be enough to crush an entire empire, this is very possible, rumours of so called higher ranked people doing bad things can ruin a reputation these days, and reputation is what counts not only in a room full of mp’s but also the school grounds as well. Groups divide, the cool, the okay, and the forgotten. Why can’t groups merge, even now blacks are looked differently from whites? Is it not true that the earth was pure until we polluted it with our heavy population and machinery? Is it correct for us to affect another life, the earth itself? We are committing murder everyday just very slowly, not just the earth, the schoolboy nerd, the dumbest employee all the people that do not live up to the cultural standards are slowly being mentally crushed in a vortex of human society. It is not correct for murder is it not, so why do so many people get away with it, mental torture hurts just as must as physical torture? Us humans can be described as many things, purity, life, creation, virus, destruction, madness in reality all of these terms are correct. Or is human nature another process of circumstance, to destroy one planet and slowly destroy the next until we have absolutely no way to go. In conclusion to this piece, should one person be allowed to commit something bad on another for no good reason? Or is that built into human nature as a part of this. Or could we blame all of our misfortune and wrong doing on the circumstance of the situation A MESSAGE FROM ME (TRUE) I remember the first time I laid eyes on you, the first time you spoke with your sweet voice, the first time that you looked at me. From that point, I knew that something inside me told me that I wanted to be with you, but it was forbidden. But always remember, I love you now, that’s all that matters, I think of the times, especially the day that started it all, the day that you said to me, that you fancied me. That was one of the happiest days of my life, knowing that the woman that I loved, with enough beauty to cure anyone’s inner desires. Loved me back. It was then that I realised, you were the one that I wanted, the one that my heart told me to go with and now I don’t regret it one bit, When I look into your eyes, there’s everything to see, I don’t see any of my past mistakes, or my troubles staring back at me, all I see is love, which is the best sight for anyone to see. Now here we are, 5 weeks after it all, we still love each other, we still kiss each other, and we still want each other. You tell me that you want to fall asleep in my arms, and that makes me so happy, it’s beyond belief Sometimes I think that soon I’m about to wake up from this long dream, and never be able to see you again, so that’s why I get paranoid, I do worry about waking up in my bed, and you not even knowing me anymore. You are the greatest girl, the greatest lover I have ever had, you have shown me things that I have never been shown before, this new intense love that I have never experienced. When our lips touch, or skin hits together and our eyes lock onto each other, I’m in heaven on earth. We have been through so much together, and I can’t see anyway that this relationship can end, and I’m glad that I can’t Soon, you will be in my bed, in my arms, feeling me, I’ll do anything for you, and all you have to do is just ask. I would walk over broken glass just to see you, run a thousand miles to see your sweet face again. When I see you, you take away all my worries, all of my problems, when my eyes take sight of you, I become alive again. When you read this over in your mind, or talking it over to yourself, remember, these words, these feelings, these times are for your eyes, your ears and your heart, only “With all the stars in the sky, Emma, you are the brightest one” A MESSAGE FROM ME 2(TRUE) This is just another long email for u, cos I love u so much Last night was one of my best nights of all my life; it felt great to have you feel safe in my arms. I love you so much Emma, it grows every single day, and it’s breaking my boundaries I’ve fallen for you, and I don’t want to stop it, because when I see you, I’m in heaven I’m a little scared to be honest, I’ve never had feelings this strong before, and lets face it, when I first met you, I didn’t realise we would get this close. But now we are, I am so glad and happy that I have you, the last six weeks have been my best, simply because of one person, you Never doubt how much I love you, and I will never leave you, I feel so lucky and so good “What I am so scared about is, I’ve never felt this way before, it’s all new to me, and sometimes, it becomes so real, it seems unreal” THE SUTTLE TOUCH OF LIPS When our lips touch, all our love is shown to the whole world and we are not afraid of it. When our lips touch, my spine tingles, my heart beats faster and my skin warms. When our legs, and arms entangle around in safety, I know you trust me, I know you love me. When I look into your eyes, the lock between us is too strong to break apart. I cannot speak in how much I love you; I can only use heavy-handed words to describe, the only way I can explain it, is when our lips touch, I love you TOTAL EMOTION Think, have you ever felt absolute complete emotion? Or is this so called full on emotion helped by an injection of typical stereotypical society? Can people say “I’m so angry” or “I love you to the maximum” maybe knowing themselves that it is not true. Why are we forced to lie because we want to please others? To avoid our demons and confrontation, which my friend is human nature and cannot be avoided itself. What I’m trying to say is, have you felt an emotion so bad, that it takes control over your life, what you do, and how you do it? I have, once, but how can I assert to maybe I field that I have not experienced before is actually total emotion? If complete emotion is true, it could work both ways. Give us complete happiness, but have dreadful results, resulting in an awesome new angry strength. Anger is human’s greatest power, because with enough desire there is no such thing as uncompletable dreams. With enough emotion, do we become invincible and able to achieve the once impossible? Stories of people who have been overcome by total emotion, being able to lift heavy amounts, able to take heavy amounts of damage and still be able to fight on. I admire these people, they have not been suppressed by society or held back by laws, and they have managed to let their emotions run free. Think about it, do you think you will be able to be overcome, by TOTAL EMOTION? RELIGION Is religion a purest kind of reality, or do the religious people need guidelines, and help in life, and turn to religion to show the way. What religion do you have? Why do you have it? Have you ever thought about why you carry your religion? Do you, actually believe? Is religion actually real; is science and facts really keeping us from the ultimate salvation? Or is religion blinding us, from the reality that we have created and now cannot face it? “He said something today, which really made me think, in the end, always be there for the ones you love, because in the end, they will always be there for you” MEDIA The media, what a fascinating thing that we have created, however, what a terrible thing we have created. Can we truly believe what is happening on the TV set, in the newspapers and on the radio? Is it because we want to be a part of what possibly is fake? Does this act of foolery show us as a race that does not want to face our demons, and the harsh reality of a life that we have created? Media is entertaining, but is it correct to look deeply and survey celebrities? How would we feel to have every move, every step of our lives surveyed for other peoples desires? Is it okay for us to intrude into others lives, just for our own entertainment? EXTRACT FROM TONY SAYERS LIFE “Yeah I guess you could say that, she can have a hell of a lot better for me and she knows it. What stuns me everyday is why she stays, for the money, reputation, the stylish clothes or the free bed to me it doesn’t matter, if she is using me to get these things I don’t care as long as I get her love, fake or not. Y’know I’ve learnt many things during my life but the most important lesson I learnt was from someone very close to me but also very far. He used to say a lot of things that meant a lot to me but one thing he said reflects in my mind whenever something bad happens, if the unspeakable happens always protect the ones of whom you love, never forget that boy. I used to think when I was a child, what changes life. I mean what makes life worth living when all people do is go to work everyday and go to sleep. When I met her I learnt why life is worth living, life isn’t a basic routine. When you find something worth fighting for you feel life to its very core. Morals, ordeals, culture, love, hate, friendship, family the list goes on and on but what I want to say is that, don’t waste what precious time that life brings to us, use it to your full advantage or life isn’t worth living at all, that’s the real picture of life boy. Never think why we are here just make use of the time and life that we are awarded.” “You are my guiding light, my salvation, my helper, my friend, my counsellor, my death, my life, my love” DREAMS These dreams of ours, give us a lot of things. Inspiration, horror, nightmare, or enlightenment. Dreams can be the heaven inside our brains, or the hell that consumes it. It makes us realise the dizzying height but also the killing lows. What gave us dreams, was it a god? Or is it ourselves, having asperse of inspiration inside us, while we sleep. Do dreams show us what we really want, or what we truly fear? Dreams are not real, but can they be as real as we make them, a subconscious reality may not be real, but it is a mix of our minds and something else. Dreams are something that is supernatural, and something for since the start of humanity, we have not mastered. These are our dreams, so we enjoy them. PAIN Pain is a sensation so therefore enjoy it; this can be simple for a physical pain. However what about the most dangerous, and effective pain, inside our minds. Can something be cured that can drive us to insanity, some things like bullying can create an unstable mind, create mental pain. Pain so strong in the mind cannot be so easily washed away but make us remember our mistakes so that we will not face the same pain again. Pain may never fade, it sticks with us for all our lives, the way we live with it, is our choice, and our path. “Are these the best times in our lives, knowing that we can never get any better? Or are the worst times in our lives so bad, knowing that we can never have any worse” HEAVEN OR HELL I apologize for the following statements if they affect you. What is heaven and hell? It a simple representation of good and bad, yin and yang, man and woman, white and black. It could be a real set of places, salvation, redemption and revenge. However what’s to say that religion has got it completely wrong, it could be that good people go to hell, and hell is salvation. For all we know, the devil could actually be the person who created the earth, and is the real Holy Father, we do not know much about god or the devil, god could be the bad person, and heaven could be the fiery torment instead. Maybe we should look more at the facts. DEATH Is death the end of life, or is it a mystery that can only be solved by dying ourselves. But then we would lose on the values of life. Death is one of the only things that can only be explained by a hand on approach, is the only way to know about the end of life is to experience it? Is death the end, or is it, just the beginning, and the start of something new and fresh. Do we become another star in the sky, another blade of grass beneath our child’s feet? Or does it all end there, do we become something, real again. “I’ll always be there for you, always there to love you, even in the end when you realise that you don’t want to be with me anymore, I’m still going to be here” FRIENDSHIP If there is one thing I have learnt in my life, that in the deepest of troubles, you find out who your real friends are. In the end, when all hope fails, you can count on your real friends to break you out. We can call our friends many things, homies, mates, peeps but one thing is for sure. When you are in the spotlight, shivering in the cold and the dark, thinking to yourself, “it’s all over, I’ve got nothing else to live for” the people to strike up a match and warm you, put you back in the light is your friends, your real friends. When it all comes down to the wire, you can count on them, to give you your life back. EXTRACT FROM TONY SAYERS LIFE “Sometimes I think to myself, is life one basic routine, I mean, is life worth living knowing that in the end we will all die?, I know it seems like a bleak outlook but isn’t that the basic truth, that’s what I used to think, not anymore though, I’ve found my fuel, I’ve found my life again. You know I should really write this down somewhere, it might be good to look back on eh? What I’m trying to say is, that if you don’t have a life worth living yet, it doesn’t mean that you can’t make a life worth living. There’s no real point at giving up yet, otherwise you haven’t even put up a fight eh? I know life kicks you in the nuts now and then, it happens, but we have just got to deal with it” “How come we come out of the crap, and get even stronger, only to take even more shit!, it just never seems to end” WAR Why does war occur, why do we have to destroy and kill our brothers and sisters. Myself, have never experienced war, and I thank any other higher being for that. We are we forced to go into war, and die for out country, over some politician argument or mishap, why do we have to suffer in their stead? Why don’t for once, THEY GO TO WAR WITH US! To see the horror, and destruction, to be obliterated by the weapons that we have made, to kill our brothers with. Why they don’t for once, try some other solution then send our fathers, our brothers, uncles, nephews, and friends to war for some meaningless cause. It just seems that the rooms full of mp’s resembles a schoolyard, now that my friend is not a circumstance of the situation, it is the situation of a fake circumstance. GENETICS I have been doing a lot of work on genetic engineering, and brings up a huge amount of moral issues, to be considered. It is okay to copy someone’s uniqueness and smash it to pieces with a single drop of genetic materials. What are we hoping to achieve from cloning, a nation full of one person? Expendable war clones? Maybe a replacement for a lost family member?. This could destroy every that makes humanity human, should we be allowed to look through the clear glass and see what’s on the other side, knowing the catastrophic results that could reform through it. Should we meddle in what we are given from birth? Is it fair reasoning to break the laws of nature and create something, living for our own? Meddling with genes can cause the collapse of our culture, sport, job system and many other problems arise if further research is carried out. Imagine, walking down the street, and seeing someone who looks exactly identical to you, every last spec and fibre of your human soul, copied along in one huge factory machine spewing out the same copy over and over again. Imagine a war, where every footman, gunner and flyer looked exactly the same, and acted exactly the same. To be perfect, at anything that our parents want, but necessarily what we want. Will our children be doomed to be what our parent want them to be? To know that their life has been predestined from the day they were artificially born. To be something, less then real. “The way the world is changing nowadays is kinda scary y’know, soon we will have cured world hunger, find out the mysteries of life, so many good things, or maybe will end up using earth as a test subject, and blow it all up, everything we have created just because we are curious” SUICIDE I apologize if the following extract affects you. What causes us to do things to ourselves, to do something so bad that it will end our own lives? Some things in this life that don’t seem too bad, are to others. The next time you call someone a name, think of what it could do to him or her inside. Something this simple can cause to the ultimate death, a suicide. I know a lot of people who have gotten close, even myself, and for all those who are reading this, and have a knife to their wrists, think about it guys. Is what you’re doing really worth it? Look at the amount of people you are hurting, it doesn’t just affect you guys. It affects a lot more people, there are many people who love you, don’t ever forget that. With all the problems in your life, death is not the answer, don’t give up now, face your demons, because that my friends is the greatest feeling of all, when you know, that all your problems have been solved, not by others, but by yourself, fight against the power, and don’t give up. WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES When I look into your eyes, I see something special, something I have never seen before. It almost consumes me to think about it, it’s almost an obsession to look into those eyes, and see something new. Is it love? Is it hate? Is it despair? I don’t know, but I am willing to spend the rest of my life with you, just to find out. EXTRACT FROM TONY SAYERS LIFE “Sometimes, things need to be done by yourself, I’ve learnt that many times. You don’t know whom you can rely on ‘till the very end. Until it’s too late. No excuses, no drawbacks, no time to run away, in the end, your demons will catch up with you, and the only way to push them back, is to stand tall, and fight them away” “When I look back on my life, I think, would my life be better if I changed that decision, if I changed what I did then? But that’s when I realise, I should not doubt the choices that I have made, because it is my path that I have chosen, and I am proud of it” BEGINNING Who knows how life came about? Was it God, an everlasting superior being that lives and connects all living things? Or was it the fact of a Big Bang, and the status of evolution? Or really, should it matter where we come from, or how we came about, not think of what life’s purpose is, because our lives purpose is what we make it, it is what we want it to be. We should not think of the meaning of life, because we make life the meaning. Just think about it. Maybe, the meaning of life, is to live. So therefore, maybe it is not the reason to pray to the lord above, if there is any, or to continue research on why we exist, because instead of paying our debts to why we are living, our debt is to live. Let us not waste this precious life we are given, for what excuse, it doesn’t matter, let us live this life. ANGER IS MY POWER They say to me, I have no power, none physically, none mentally. I can never fight back because I have no power, no chance at all, no compromise. They say to me, you cannot win because you posses no power. I say to them, anger, anger is my power, so don’t fuel me, or you will feel the greatest power of all. With this power, anything is possible, I can run miles, trace over water, and breath the cold air, with this power, I am unstoppable. “The difference between dreams and reality, is purely desire” DREAMS AND REALITY What is the difference between dreams and reality, that I can easily answer, it is purely desire. The difference between the life we want and the life we have, is how much we are willing to give. We only receive what we have given in, what we deserve, there is not many other feelings better than the feeling of pure salvation, knowing that all your hard work has paid off. Sometimes, it’s not what we have that makes us feel good about ourselves, it’s the journey getting there. If I had a chance to have everything I wanted with just the wave of a wand, I would have to decline, to know that you deserve what you have, feels a lot more better than having it. We can realise our dreams, with enough desire, what we dream about can easily become our reality. Desire is a power, and with enough of it, we can achieve almost anything. We get what we pay. It’s an easy equation of life, and sometimes can be unbalanced. There is sometimes where people who have worked their whole lives receive almost nothing, people who have not worked as well and as much may earn more. This is the world that we have created, reality or dreams. Or was this earth a beautiful dream, before we made it into a bittersweet reality, which many of us cannot face. One should never look to the stars without a dream; it is what drives us on, what we work towards. A dream is a vision of what we want, and reality is the block, stopping us from having it. So, when we have our dreams in the palm of our hands, how can we really believe that it is reality, so for the person who realises all their dreams, how can they possibly live with it, knowing that now they have everything, they can lose everything. Is a dream really so good, knowing that when you have it, you might never want it to go, and do things that you will regret, just to keep that dream carrying on. I know this may sound like a bleak outlook, but I know, if I had the dream that I wanted for a whole lifetime, I would stop at nothing to keep it, just think, how far would you go, to stop reality, and live in a dream? MURDER It is hard to understand, for those who have not murdered, how it feels to know, that you have killed another human being. Is it fair to kill anyone, for any reason? Is it fair to kill a person who has already killed another? Maybe a murderer gets his revenge already, knowing that the flashing face of the person he has killed will haunt his dreams forever. I don’t know, I have never murdered, and I hope not to. Who’s right is it to take away another person’s life, only one person has the right to do that, themselves. So if your thinking that you are close to murdering someone, think, should this person suffer because you have suffered, if they have made you suffer, is it okay to let yourself be dragged down to their level? No matter the sin, the wrong doing, the bad handling, death is not the answer, it is not a last resort. No one deserves their live to be taken away, no one has the right to take another person’s life. EXTRACT FROM TONY SAYERS LIFE “What ever happened to the man who got everything he wanted, he didn’t live happily ever after, he didn’t ride into the sunset with the world at his feet, none of that fairy tale story crap. I’ll tell you what he did; he ended up killing his best friend, his wife and daughter to keep his life going on. That’s the harsh reality of it all, having everything we want is like a drug, that makes us do things, that we don’t want to do. Just be glad of what you have, I am, take it easy, and take everyday as it comes, in my experience, it’s the best way to live” "I think it is time, time to walk into the flickering light, and the shells fastening by my head, I will fight on, because I have to, because I choose to, I will fight on, because I love, I cherish, I will kill because I want to survive, I will live, and come back to the ones who I love" SPLITTING UP Some people look at splitting up as the end of it all, how can one assert to live under conditions that are unbearable, this links to many suicides. I look at splitting up as the penultimate beginning, whether it is splitting up with a family member, a friend, or a lover. It is hard to admit that change is coming, it is hard to realize that things could never be the same, it is hard to actually get it into your mind that for once what you thought was completely pure turned completely sour. But look at it his way, this is not the end, it is the start of something new and fresh, something that is pure. In the end you’ll find someone, I have, and I hope that all readers believe me when I say this. That true love of yours is out there, whether he/she is in your arms now, or he/she is waiting out there for you, no one in this world is not loved. Splitting up can feel like the world has ended, like there is nothing else to live for, almost like the light that once illuminated your dark mind has now faded. Just because the light has faded, doesn’t mean that someone else can’t relight it for you. This isn’t the end, it is just the beginning. RIGHT AND WRONG How can we assert that any right or wrong that we don’t understand is right or wrong? In simpler terms, how can we know what we are doing is right or wrong? Isn’t it true that everyone is brought up differently, and therefore have different ideals on what is right or wrong. What we are doing may be right to us, but may be wrong to others, and vise versa. So in this world how can we know what is truly right or wrong? How about law? Do they tell us what is right or wrong, they stop us from doing things that is wrong in their eyes, but what about our eyes? Maybe some of these laws are wrong in the eyes of others, this is how protest starts. Ideals conflicting, even these extracts, many would disagree with what I am saying, saying that it is wrong, however I would say that these extracts are right. Everything that is in this world, is right or wrong, the main question is, what do you think is right or wrong? “Never hide away in the shadows, don’t run away, don’t fall back, don’t look the other direction, hold my hand, and together, we will fight against the world, because as long as I have you, I know we can win” EXTRACT FROM TONY SAYERS LIFE This is a song that I wrote about a certain someone: it is called “You showed me the way” When I see you, an ever-ending love cannot explain And when I don’t see you, here comes my pain What the words hath shown you, and sent you away You always showed me that there was no game to play Our love never shatters into eternal pieces, All the great hits from you, and also the misses We went through all the hard shit lately, Will you love me tomorrow, or will I fade away From the memories that you fought to keep, from flowing away today Through all the love in my heart, it never wanted to fled Hopefully, in the end, you stay with me till I’m dead I’ve never felt this way before, (before) So keep in my heart, and we begin to start… And I brake into you I see you looking at me You showed me the way, you showed me today And what for me to do When I feel I can’t take it I look deep into you, You showed me the way, you showed me today And what for us to do. THE TIMES WITHOUT YOU The times without you seem empty, deserted like the inner depths of my mind. Every step I walk, every step I take, filled with nothing, just empty figures of a time without you. I become this other person, empty, just empty. I walk around like a living corpse, awaiting your next phone call, or the next time I see you, but when I do, I am filled with love again; I’m not empty anymore. Thank you for everything. GENDER SPLIT Is there a bigger war than between the two sexes? This war has been forged from the very beginning of human life. And this war wages throughout the schoolyard straight to the politicians office. Is it true that these sexes are naturally gifted in their respectful occupations? Are men really that much stronger, are woman really that much more intellectual? Maybe we are relying too much on a stereotypical look of these two sexes, everyone is different. I believe that we are not gifted, we make ourselves what we are, no matter what sex we are. Should all of the human race be divided because of the two genders? We live in a certain harmony, wouldn’t it be nice if the biggest war would end, wouldn’t it nice to achieve full equality.
Copyright © 2003 Tony James Sayers |