Decision Time
Italic = First person, Present tense Normal = Third Person, past tense Decisions, Decisions. No matter how far you run, you’ll never be free of them. Of course, you yourself may be one of those who love to be independent, and thrive in the freedom of learning from your mistakes. See, that’s the bit that doesn’t agree with me; or rather, I don’t agree with it. I hate mistakes, and so far, every decision I’ve made has either been a mistake or lead to a mistake. To tell the truth, my hatred for making decisions really only occurred a few years ago, when the truth finally dawned on me; ignorance is bliss. When I was 15, in year 10 at secondary school, I had to make a big decision, which affected my life forever and lead to disastrous mistakes, let alone being one its’ self. Let me now tell my tale, in the hope that you’ll understand the message I’m bringing clearly. ~*~ Rhea pushed her hand through her auburn hair, making it ripple slightly in the early July breeze, looking at the ground as she exited the school, not even looking to see if he was there, again. Year 10 wasn’t easy, she decided, especially when you had the added bonus of a stalker as soon as you left the school premises each afternoon. Trying not to think about that, she absent-mindedly pulled her earphones out of her pocket, whilst reaching into the depths of her blazer in search of the play button. As Nirvana’s hit song, ‘Smells like teen spirit’ blasted out in her ears, she couldn’t even notice the sounds of someone coming up behind her, and didn’t notice an extra shadow. Quickening her pace to walk in time with the roaring voice of Kurt Cubain, she forgot all about Daemon, until she turned around the corner and felt herself being pushed back against the wall, in the same old alley. Slowly bringing her eyes up from the floor, she gazed hopelessly into the eyes of her captor, feeling him stare right back at her with dark, piercing eyes. “I thought I told you last time, I’m not interested.” Rhea choked, finding it hard to fight back tears for an unknown reason. It always happened, whenever he was near. “Come on Rhea, you could be so happy. I can see it day by day, you’re searching for something, and you need some sort of fulfilment. Why not give it a try? It won’t kill you…” Daemon answered, in a calm yet assertive tone that made Rhea feel like a 6 yr old. “Please…no…I really don’t want to. It sounds wonderful, but from where I’m coming from, I’d be giving up more than I’ll gain. Please let me go now!” She argued back reasonably, trying not to be full of attitude as she did so. “Look, for me, Just come to one session, and then I won’t bother you again; I promise. I’m doing this for you, I care and I really want you to know that.” He replied, starting to get agitated; but then grasping control of himself in time. The offer of freedom from Daemon sounded almost to good to miss; but then, she knew what she might be getting herself into. He had been watching her every move for weeks now, and on the way home from school he sometimes dragged her aside and started talking about a strange religion he believed in, although to her it sounded more like a cult. The look he gave her made it harder and harder to resist; it was as if he had made the decision for her. The two choices she now had were either to say no, and face whatever consequences became of it, or give in, and go to one measly session giving her a tiny ounce of freedom back. Putting things into prospective really helped, and she felt as if she didn’t have much say in the matter at the time anyway, so she stared back down at the floor before speaking. “Do you promise to leave me alone as soon as the meeting finishes? I don’t want to even see you again after this is done.” She said, almost unwillingly. “Fine by me. After school tomorrow, start walking as if you were going to the guide huts. Don’t bother trying to back out, I know where to find you.” He replied with a slight air of threat in his voice as he released his grip on her shoulders, and stroked her left cheek with his index finger, wiping a tear from her face. Watching her cringe at his touch, he whipped his hand away from her and started walking back the way he had come. Crying freely now, Rhea started to walk home again, shaking slightly from the whole experience. ~*~ I’m hoping by now that you’ll have guessed what the main theme of my tale is; being pressured into making the wrong decision. I can assure you now, that by the time I had reached my home, all signs of being distressed had carefully been hidden by layers of fake enthusiasm about school. No one knew what was really going on, therefore no one was concerned. I remember that night, as if it was just yesterday. I couldn’t concentrate on my homework, so I lay mindlessly on the sofa in front of the TV, flicking through the music channels without a care. I hardly touched my dinner, and lied when my parents asked if I was OK by saying I had a gut ache. I cried myself to sleep that night. For some reason, I felt guilty for giving in to him, and almost angry with myself. What could I have done though? If you had been there, if you had seen it, I bet you, you would have done the same! ~*~ As she walked out of school again, she thought about her options. One, she could start walking towards the Guide huts, as she had been instructed, and meet Daemon. Two, she could start walking in that general direction but then find refuge in her friend Emily’s house, which was on the way. Or option number 3, she could just run home, knowing that Daemon would follow her and force her to come. Knowing her fate had already been decided; Rhea started walking towards the Guide huts, feeling a sense of forbearing doom come upon her. As soon as she had turned into the alleyway; she knew she was being followed again, but this time did not carry on walking, as her parents had brought her up knowing to do. This time, as she knew who it was and why, she stopped suddenly and turned around to face her stalker. “I don’t know where I’m going, you walk in front.” She stated, moving to make room for Daemon to overtake her. “No, we’ll walk together. How do I know you’ll come if you go behind me?” He sneered, catching up with her and then waiting for her to start moving again. “Fine.” She grunted in reply, begrudgingly walking forwards again. They walked the rest of the journey in silence, Rhea staring at the ground, Daemon straight ahead of them. “What’s the name of this religion thing?” “The name’s not important, the members are. Now put this hood on before we enter.” Daemon replied to her question, giving her a large black hood that hid her face when she put it on. “This is ridiculous! I almost look like a grim reaper!” She complained, glancing down at the black gothic clothing she had worn to school, given that it was a civvies day. “Shut up!” He said as he rounded at her, making her flinch and back away slightly. Grabbing her wrist, Daemon pulled her through a small opening in the large, abandoned hut. Everything went dark. For a few seconds, Rhea thought she had gone blind, before her eyes accustomed to the darkness. She could see a circle of seven figures, and an empty space where she figured Damon would fit in. “You’re late, Daemon. Lateness does not do well with the one..” A dark and raspy voice whispered threateningly. “I apologise master, but my sister was resistant. She would not come until today, master. I introduce you to sister Rhea, of the air element.” Daemon spoke gently, still gripping her wrist tightly; he walked to the middle of the circle dragging Rhea with him. Now speaking to her, he let go of her wrist and commanded her. “Bow down to my master.” “I don’t understand, Daemon what’s go-“ She started to reply, but again she felt as if she could not say no. With the influence of a push from Daemon, she lowered onto her knees, bowing her head. “Good. Sister of Daemon, Rhea, rise now as Demeatrea, stand before me as the woman that you are.” The One announced, giving Rhea permission to stand up again. “Daemon, step forward and commence the ritual.” He commanded Daemon. ~*~ I can’t go on. All I remember, from the time the One had said that, was that Daemon had taken hold of my wrist, and put something sharp against it. As the blood trickled from my newly acquired wound, I felt my wrist being pushed against his, and then I blacked out. This is what I mean, when I say that Decisions lead to mistakes. In this case, the blood brother cult. A very big mistake in today’s society, if you ask me. What had happened on that evening had scarred me for life. I found myself going along to those meetings every day after school, giving up more and more of my life to him, the one. Come to think of it, I don’t even know who the one is, that’s just what we are instructed to call him. I didn’t think Blood brothers were real, I thought it was all a musical production, but now I’m one of them, giving up my life, lying in bed with AID’s, waiting for the end to come. I was pressured into making the wrong decision. Of course now, by telling you this, you may see I have tried to walk away from my decision. But maybe not. Maybe all you see, is a living example that you can’t run away. You can’t change your decisions.
Copyright © 2006 Jessica Anne Nicole |