Tiny Dancer The colors began to blur around her as she spun faster and faster, spinning wildly, almost out of control, before skipping into a cute little curtsey, accompanied by a gap-toothed smile as she lost her balance and stumbled. Her pink tutu poofed out around her tiny frame, and her hair, pulled and poked into a severe ballet bun, had wisps flying out on each side of her head. Her eyes were shining, living the music, and exhilaration was clear on her face. Savannah was completely enveloped in the music, her favorite song, the one she and her dad would dance to when she was little, before he died. But the music ended with a grand finale and faded, as it always did, leaving a thick silence in the air. Savannah�s smile dropped as a different sound filled the silence left behind by the music�s end. In the room down the hall she could hear her mother�s drunken giggles and wild stumblings, accompanied by the low undertone of a man�s voice. Well, at least this guy sounds nicer than last weeks, thought Savannah. Last week her mom spent much more time crying and screaming than giggling. Only a few of the men had ever made her mom giggle. Maybe this one would stay longer. Maybe� Savannah shook her head and plopped down on her plush pink bedspread. �I�ll never grow up to be like mommy.� She said aloud, trying to convince herself. �I will be like Mrs. Cary instead. I will.� As if on cue, she heard a car horn honk downstairs in the driveway. She quickly scooped up her pink ballet bag, stuffed her dance shoes in, and crammed her feet into her sneakers. She crept out her bedroom door, and padded down the stairs on tiny silent feet, remembering to grab the house key on her way out the door. In the driveway stood a white mini-van, driven by Mrs. Cary, the mom of Savannahs best friend, Chloe. �Hello dear, hop in back. We�re almost late!� �Yes ma�am. Thank you very much for the ride.� The sliding door pulled open and Savannah clamored into the cramped backseat to talk to Chloe. �Hey Sav, you ready for dance?� �Yeah. You?� �Of course! Did you hear that there might be a new production? I heard the big girls talking about it last week.� �No way! What�s it about?� �Dunno. Guess we�ll see, huh?� �Yeah. Guess we�ll see�� Savannah leaned back in her seat to stare out the window and ponder the possibilities. Although Savannah was only 8, she had big dreams to be a prima ballerina, the main dancer, at her studio. But she always got stuck with parts like �flower stage right,� or �small forest animal,� as did all of the other girls in her class. Maybe this new mysterious production was her chance to shine! As a smile spread across her face, Savannah leaned back contentedly to think. �Ok girls, hop out quick, you�re nearly late!� said Mrs. Cary. The girls needed no reminder; they scrambled out of the car as if it were on fire in their excitement to hear about the new production. As soon as they had changed their shoes and put up their hair, Savannah and Chloe rushed to their room to hear the news. Their teacher, whom they called Victoria, was slender and poised, in a simple black leotard, tan tights, pink leg warmers, and her brown hair pulled into a stiff bun. Her kind hazel eyes smiled at the room full of excited girls, and her olive skin radiated the lights above. All that was needed was a finger to her lips to immediately silence the exuberant children. She began to speak to her silent, expectant crowd, and every word fell upon eager ears. �There will be a new production this spring.� She paused, waiting for the room to quiet again with an expectant look. �It will be called Escape, and will be all about how anyone can make music, or dance to it, and escape from the ordinary world in dance and song. Now, the most important thing that you all must know is that there is a dance solo, a big part, for one of you.� The small room buzzed with excited whispers and murmurs of girls unable to keep their voices quiet at the prospect of a solo. �Now, we shall start today�s class with warm ups, as usual, and after that we will begin to learn the audition dance. Everyone up!� The class passed quickly for Savannah. Her mind was rushing a million times to fast. She could not believe what she had just heard. This was her chance! And the theme was perfect, she escaped into her dance every day, though no one knew but her what she was really escaping from. The day flew by, and soon she found herself home again, asleep in her bed with fantasies of solos and twirls and bright lights on a stage rushing through her dreams. She had never been so excited. Over the next few weeks, Savannah ate, slept, worked, and dreamed dance. Her mind was filled with nothing except pirouettes, jumps, and bowing before an enthusiastic crowd. She practiced the audition dance over and over in her room, until she would fall over with sleep heavy eyes on her bed, and collapse into wonderful dreams, falling asleep to her daddy�s song, her favorite. For the first time in her life, Savannah did not worry about her mom. She stayed out of the way, and danced, and forgot to worry about her altogether. It was the most wonderful week of her life. An unexpected announcement came a day before auditions. Victoria announced at the beginning of class that the actual audition would not be to the song they had been practicing it to. It would be to a surprise song, only to be known at the time of the audition. The girls looked at each other to gauge each other�s reactions. All had worried looks, Savannah�s the most worried of all. How could they audition to a song they didn�t even know? When Savannah got home that night, the house was a mess. There were broken pictures all over the floor, the fridge was open with butter melting and dripping out of it, the stove was on, and beginning to burn a sludgy mess in a black pot. There was shattered glass all over the floor from the broken picture frames, and there were drops of blood all over the kitchen and leading up the stairs, as if someone had stepped on the glass unknowingly and walked around with a bleeding foot. The room reeked of alcohol and vomit. Savannah sighed and willed back tears. She had hoped to practice dancing tonight, to all different kinds of songs, so she could be prepared for tomorrow�s audition, as well as she could. She needed to sleep, and get rested for tomorrow. But her dad�s dying words echoed in her head as if it were yesterday. Take care of yourself first, but always remember to take care of your mother for me. So with a heavy heart but a peaceful conscience, Savannah began to clean. A car horn bleating was the sound that woke a frazzled Savannah from her perch on the kitchen stool, sleeping fitfully on the kitchen counter; finally clean after hours of work. She stood up groggily, nabbed a juice box from the newly cleaned fridge, and picked up her bag from where she had dumped it last night by the door. She shuffled out to meet her ride. �Savannah, you look a bit� tired. Did you not sleep well last night?� �I guess you could say that.� Replied Savannah dully, recalling her night of fitful cleaning, with only an hour of sleep. She climbed into the backseat. Thank goodness Chloe was so worried about the audition that it did not occur to her to engage Savannah in conversation past a small �Hey.� During the relatively short car ride, Savannah tried to wake herself up, and review the audition dance in her head. She had most of it down, but for some reason, she could not remember what the entire last half was. She started to panic, leaping fretfully out of the car when they pulled up to the studio, forgetting for the first time, ever, to thank Mrs. Cary for the ride. Mrs. Cary sat in the car for a few moments after dropping the girls off, staring worriedly after Savannah. She finally shook her head and drove off. The audition. Cassie was nervous beyond belief. She still couldn�t remember the last half of the audition dance, and she didn�t even know what kind of music she was going to dance to. She walked nervously to the middle of the dance floor, in front of the judges. She slowly stated her name, age, and the part that she was auditioning for. Then the music started. She listened for a moment, and a grin spread across her petite features. It was her song. The song that her daddy and she used to dance to. Tears filled her weary eyes as she thought of the previous night, her dad�s death, the men�s voices and the smell of alcohol. And as she let the music flow through her, as she lost herself to the dance, she put all of her sorrow into her dance and let it all out. And as she twirled, she glanced at the judges� amazed faces, and knew that she had gotten the part.
Copyright © 2006 Lawson |