Vacant Life
Violet E Krause

 

Vacant life
Moving- move on, moving over, moving towards, or just actually moving. Moving on over a break up or a bad day at work, moving over the shyness that over takes your passion and makes you shrink back into your seat, moving towards your life long goal of being a writer, moving out of state away from your family to a place where it rains and coffee shops litter the streets. Moving to a place that you compare to places you’ve read about in books only; being moved by the passion that’s in you, being moved by how different everyone is, but really aren’t because you all have the same to loose; a broken heart. Moving away from the people you try so hard to relate to and find that one ‘best friend’ that everyone seems to being having such an easy time finding. Moving your ideas around, making your same old boring room you’ve had since you were 10 something that really makes you feel home. Moving your doubts about love into the back of your mind, until someone comes to you giving you all the love you want, yet all you do is crave more. You’re not that small town girl you’ve read about that has dreams too big even for herself, yet all the people, and places you meet and visit; they’re all too small for you. Too much moving needed yet your solution is to move. Life moves on wither you’re going to or not, but you’re the one who always moves ahead of life and is standing there completely confused as to why nothing is happening. All you ever do is move, and it’s not going to change. More moving away, moving away from your friends that you clam was your family and you cry over them every night and the life you could be having with them, yet deep down they weren’t really all your talking them up to be, there still too small for you, and your solution is yet again moving when it was the whole reason your upset. Just float okay.
Dreams- dreams are the whole reason of life. If it weren’t for dreams, we’d be sitting at home staring at the walls. But we wouldn’t even have walls, or a house, because without dreams, that house would have never been built, because that little boy dreamed of making houses for people to live and love in was what brought that house to its being. You could have the dream of graduating with good grades, to fulfill your dream of going to college, but on the way to that your dreams could have nothing to do with your goals, simply winning a basketball game, when your dream isn’t to be an Olympic athlete . Dreams of driving for the first time or riding in a taxi.
Moving, dreams, dreams moving, moving with dreams, dreams that are moving.


I, however was not doing any of these things. I was stuck in the same boring small town that had nothing to offer me of course.
At least that’s what I thought.
When my mother and father pulled out the pamphlet’s during our normal boring dinner I nearly choked on my mash potatoes. My mother was not pleased.
New York, California, Seattle, so on and so forth. All places so far away from my small town in North Carolina. I’ve read about so many. But I remembered I’ve never ridden a taxi.
New York it is.

My head turning around in amazement as I did what I’ve seen so many actors do whenever there character comes to the busy land of New York. Except I wasn’t an actor. I was really here, the signs were really glowing down on my face in the middle of time square, the man driving the taxi was really shouting at me to get out of the way, and the moon really was barely visible behind all the lights and sounds. The same moon I looked at a lot in Rowley was the same moon here. Rowley. It was almost Christmas here, and I wondered if I would have to go back for the holidays. Rowley, stupid Rowley where every year on New Year’s they drop an acorn. Maybe id actually get to see the ball drop here. Not a stupid acorn.
I have a strong hate for acorns.
Walking down the streets was just how they described it in the books. Murderous, loud, and harsh, but amazing and breath taking. I was just a small acorn smashed into the dirt and mud dodging squirrels while all the other acorns are hanging safely up in a tree. I didn’t really mind. It was the change I came here for.
New York was kind of like a million different worlds combined into one place. A new exotic galaxy if you would.
And I was merely a star.
Of course I was going to change this. I was a young observant male writer in New York.
I was going to act like it. At least I would try.
I kept this motive in my head, as the bright yellow taxi pulled up. The sight of the open door and the fake leather seats I’ve imagined in my head made my insides smile. I couldn’t hide my smile as I told the driver the address and sunk back low into the seats and the car started to roll forward. Moving.

The booming music that seemed to being trying to break the door down as the bass made the walls vibrate made me suddenly homesick. This cannot be my dorm. I check the schedule again and again making sure the room number was right. It was. I muttered some words such as “hobbnockers” and “not even a good song” as I crumpled up my schedule into my messenger bag and banged my fist against the dark cherry wood door.
A boy with dark hair and much more muscle than me popped his head out and eyed me up and down before closing it, shutting off the music, and yanking me inside.
“Sorry ‘bout that. The names mark.” He said taking a quick gulp of a clear liquid that I told myself was only water. Before grabbing my bag and tossing it on the bottom bunk of the blue sheeted bunk beds.
“miles” was all I was able to spit out as I watched him shove my things into drawers and then stop to shake my hand.
“nice to meet you miles.” He said stopping to shove my khaki shorts that my mother spent 20 minutes ironing, getting ever crease and rumple out of it, into the last drawer in the dresser and then grabbing my arm.
“let’s go to the café. Ill show you around and introduce you to everybody.” He said starting to drag me out of the room.
“but- uh I just got here and I need to take care of some stuff you know-un” I started, looking around the room.
“You’re already unpacked. You’re free as a bird tonight.” He smiled, and that smile kind of sparked my excitement to see the city that is New York.

I’ve never been to a party before. I was never really invited to one so I didn’t know what to think when mark said we were headed to one.
“Dude no, not that shirt.”
“Are you stupid you’re not bringing topic cards to a party.”
“DID YOU REALLY JUST ASK THAT”
“that’s it I’m leaving you here.”
“MILES GET YOUR LAZY BUTT UP”
These were some of the many things that mark screeched at me as he franticly tried to prepare me for the event.
Marks screeching did me no preparing for what we walked into.
The almost completely black room that was filled with sweaty, dancing bodies, and thumping alternative rap music.
“miles!” mark called me over to our group of friends and there I sat, watching mark get completely drunk, and everyone pile onto the makeshift dance floor.
Under the florescent lights, no one could hear anything. Everyone just danced and laughed and hugged.
After the party, I laid down staring up at the marks mattress that had a slight dip in it, listening to marks snores, whishing this was how life really was. And maybe it could be. It all just dependends on the people.


“ARRRGH” mark shouted, taking his world economics textbook and chucked it into Sam’s head. Hard.
“duuuuuude” Sam said in his deep surfer voice, as he rubbed his head.
“Oh hush, you dumb beach bum. I am having a crisis. I’m going to fail my exam and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve decided that I’ve given up. “Mark stated dramatically, falling into a ball in Sam’s arms.
“I feel you. I’m never to going to pass English with the score I need.” Alice stated while putting her bleach blonde haired head into her hands.
“Alice shut up you’re English major. I however am not an ecomoinc major so I will end up living on the beach in a box with Sam.” Mark said as he got shoved onto the floor by Sam.
Maria laughed.
It was the last week of finals and we were all sprawled out in the park, McDonalds and textbooks scattered around us.
I just sat there, munching on my fires, watching mark wail into Sam’s Hawaiian shirt. Thinking about how much better finals Is in new York.


“Forget it miles!” Alice screamed walking away. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never had a girlfriend; I’ve never been in this situation. I’ve never had anyone take anger out on me before. There was never anyone in my life to do that. Busy traffic right next to us almost trying to slow down time by how slow everything was moving.
“You want everything to be so poetic, and important, and worth your time but that’s not how it works!” Alice cried walking back towards me.
“The world is a mean and hard place, and it’s completely unfair. “ Alice said while she wrapped her arms around me and sobbed.
Alice didn’t get into the school she wanted. Alice didn’t get her perfect score on her English test.
I was sorry for Alice. And that was what I muttered to her while rubbing her back, standing there on the street of new York, where I thought anything was possible.



“Miles Anthony smith.”
My heart stopped for a second as I made my way up those glossy wooden steps of the stage in the cafeteria. Mrs. Aden smiled her biggest smile, and shook my hand as she handed me my diploma.
I stopped when I was the edge of the stage. Just to take it all in. my parents standing and clapping, my mother sobbing.
And my friends, standing and cheering loudly, jumping up and down.
I smiled a smile that would have put Mrs. Aden to shame.

“miles there’s one!” mark cried, as he flung himself out into the street and sat quickly on top of the taxi as all 5 of us piled into the cab, graduation robes and all.
“Son you have to get off my cab.” The driver shouted.
“NO I AM A GRADUATED PERSON.” Mark screamed as he threw his hat into the air, and jumping off to catch it, falling 3 times. The cab started to slowly roll forward and Sam rolled the window don as we all screamed for mark to jump through.
Mark took a running start as he dived though the open window and into our laps, all of us laughing so hard our ribs hurt.
It would never be enough.
For a minute, the world was perfect. Alice and Maria crammed beside me, Sam and mark arguing about how we couldn’t all fit in one room stay at his parents beach house, mark walling that he wanted to build a huge fort when we all got there.
I knew that this was only the beginning. I knew we could all shine much brighter.
And we all would.
I kept this motive in my head, as the bad started to move at a normal speed towards the airport. Our parents in a cab with the luggage behind us, we all being moving.



 

 

Copyright © 2014 Violet E Krause
Published on the World Wide Web by "www.storymania.com"