Remember Me (1) As the plane circled, Jasmine was able to overlook the city that lay ahead. She had never been this far South before. In fact, she had never been anywhere at all; but that was a lifetime ago. Now was the present and discovering what lay ahead. What a complicated mess she had made of her life. When the 'Fasten Your Seatbelts" sign came on, was when her heart began to pound in her chest with a deafening beat. She stole a glance to the man beside her, wondering if he could hear the pounding alarm in her chest. He was so absorbed with his laptop, that he did not appear to notice her. In fact, he seemed oblivious to his surroundings. Although Jasmine was afraid of what lay ahead for her, she could not hide the fact that she was so excited to see her old friend, Teri. Jasmine and Teri had become friends over the years. Teri's marriage to Jasmine's cousin, Randy had been a blessing. The two women became friends that would bring them through thick and thin with the hurdles that life brought to them. Jasmine let her mind be overtaken with memories of that special friendship, the bond they shared. If it wouldn’t have been for Teri, Jasmine would not have found the courage to leave Jack. "Jack has really screwed up my life." She thought to herself. She shuddered at the thought of that dreadful night. Her eyes clouded as she recalled his fierce temper that sent her reeling into a world of unconsciousness and near death. "You want to leave?" the tone of his voice growing louder. "You think any other man will want you? You? A sorry little woman who is worthless? You are not going anywhere! You need me! You cannot survive without me. Any woman would die to have the life that you have. No, you will not leave!" She cowered against the wall as he had taken his long arm and swiped it across the table. The movement sent the dishes across the room to land against the wall shattering shards of glass everywhere. He then picked up the chair and brought it up into the air with such force, it knocked the glass chandelier, bursting the light bulbs upon impact. His outburst had her totally shaken. She slid further into the recesses of the wall and slumped to the floor, waiting for the next blow. erHe Her mind was racing, looking desperately for a way out, for the words to soothe him. He then turned his rage upon her and pummeled her over and over and over again. Jasmine had fluttered on the edge of consciousness until she could take no more. Finally his blows slowed and she let herself be taken by darkness. Jasmine shivered as she recalled that horrific night. She hugged herself and tried to shake that feeling of doom that thoughts of Jack always brought. "Gosh, I need to get a grip!" she thought to herself. If she was going to start a new life and succeed, she had to have her wits about her, no distractions and focus on the steps ahead. She knew that little steps would be taken and slowly she could rebuild her life and sort through the complicated mess she had made of it. Unfortunately, Jack was only one of those complications. There was yet another mess she had to fix. Her newest mistake may be the one she regretted most. That one could end up haunting her forever. If only she could share this one with Teri. No one would be able to understand what she had done this time. Jasmine found herself standing at the Hertz Rent a Car booth. Ahead of her was the man with the laptop. On the plane, she had not taken any opportunity to observe the wonderful smelling man seated next to her. She had been consumed with thoughts of her past, present and her future. Now she could take full appreciation of this man's good looks. He was truly the most magnificent man she had ever seen. He stood roughly six feet tall, had an excellent build; Jasmine noticed his rippling muscles beneath the Neiman pinstriped shirt. The hard muscles flexed and stretched the material as he reached into the back pocket of his tight fitting Levis for his wallet. Jasmine took mental note that he wore no ring on his left hand. She wondered if he truly was unattached. Surely, someone with these attributes had to be committed to some lucky woman. Jasmine was so captivated by his fabulous looks that she had not noticed he had turned and was studying her expression. His hair was dark and so undisciplined it was hard to resist the temptation to run her fingers through it. Jasmine unconsciously licked her lips. This man reeked of sexiness. She gazed into those sexy, dreamy pools of blue oceans he had for eyes; her heart skipped a beat and she found herself taking an exaggerated breath. Jasmine was so involved in her evaluation of this exquisite species that God called 'man'; she did not notice that his gaze was upon her until he spoke. With a raised eyebrow and a piercing look, he said, "I trust I meet with your approval?" With that said and a curt nod to the clerk, he spun around and walked away. The handsome stranger left snickering to himself. He found the woman totally wanton in her apparent admiration. John Caeden Trent was not impressed by the obvious attraction. He preferred his women to have less of a brazen attitude. This woman looked to be an easy conquest, no challenge. That type of woman was not the type he wanted to be entangled with. Recent experience with one such brazen woman had taught him that very lesson. However, he did notice that gleam of mischief in her heavenly green eyes. John thought to himself, that this indeed was a woman to watch out for. Despite the internal warnings, John could not help but appreciate her looks. She was very fit, perhaps a little underweight, but was very well put together. Her Oscar de la Renta dress was an appropriate choice for her slim build. Her flaming red hair cascaded down to her small delicate waist. This woman had the longest, sexiest legs he had ever seen. He fantasized them wrapped around him. Her lips were so perfectly painted, the temptation of kissing them passionately had come into his thoughts. "What kind of woman looks at a complete stranger and openly shows her lust and admiration that gets your guts churning to a dance of passion in a fleeting moment? Trouble! That's what kind." The kind to be left well enough alone. His life was complicated enough as it was. "And that is the understatement of the year." chuckled John. Giving his head a shake to clear those thoughts, John got into his rental car and drove to his hotel. "Oh, My God!" Jasmine cursed herself. She had not realized that she had been so intently admiring this stranger. She could feel the blush rise from deep in her throat to cover her face. She managed to make some inarticulate sound and turned to the clerk before her. Thank goodness the clerk proceeded in a professional manner and did not comment on Jasmine's embarrassment. When Jasmine stole a glance to see if the stranger was gone, the clerk pointed to the elevators and said, "He just took the elevator to the garage, miss. I sure wish he would have looked at me the way he looked at you. Remarkably easy on the eyes isn't he? Did you notice his voice? Goodness, that in itself would melt butter!" What an amazing choice of words, 'melt butter'. Those very words reminded Jasmine of another voice. "Oh! I wonder, if that could be…" Jasmine gave her head a shake. "Get a grip, girl!" She thought to herself. Jasmine took her lustful thoughts and proceeded to the rental garage where her carriage awaited her. She found the car with relative ease and threw her suitcases in the back seat. Jasmine flicked on the air conditioning. "Gosh, Teri did not exaggerate, it is Christly hot in this part of the world." As Jasmine steered the car onto Highway ll, she let her thoughts wander once more to that extraordinary stranger. He had the most exquisite smile. Those dazzling eyes and deep dimples made her heart flutter. "I wonder if I will ever see that one again." So deep in thought fantasizing about this man, she almost missed the turnoff that would lead her to Bartlesville. Bartlesville is where her friend Teri had grown up. Teri sent her a plane ticket to join her in a workout 'getaway'. Teri was the owner and mentor of a prestigious fitness club. Her husband Randy was the silent partner and the rock that held her together. Their club was very popular amongst the wealthy women of Bartlesville. The Miller Corporation had provided the spouses with a membership to a club that promised to 'rid you of the stresses and keep you youthful'. Yearly, the club hosted a weekend retreat for women to 'get away' from home but work hard to be fit. These retreats were well known and were very popular in Oklahoma. Teri had sent a ticket to her friend in hopes of helping her sort out her complicated life. Teri's reasoning had been that space, an active schedule, not to mention beautiful scenery would be just what the doctor ordered for Jasmine. Jasmine recollected the information about Bartlesville that Teri sent. This small city had a population of 30,000 and was located North East of Tulsa. Some said, Oklahoma was the heart of Tornado Alley. For such a small city, the people were wealthy and very educated. The city had a small town atmosphere that made for a perfect setting to raise children. Its quiet demeanor made for easy paced lives. As Jasmine turned off Highway 75 to Adams, she noticed the beautiful purple trees. Teri had told her those were the state's national tree. How breathtaking was it's beauty. The houses were quite charming looking, all of either stone or brick, colonial pillars on several of them. The city was very neat and tidy looking. Jasmine chuckled at the three water towers that stood behind the Highway overpass. On each was one word, HOT, WARM and COLD. "Well, someone has a sense of humor." She thought to herself. Within minutes, Jasmine found herself in front of Teri's home. The grand mansion was in quite the neighborhood - Colonial Estates. Colonial it was. The homes there were massive! The landscaping was of excellent taste, but that was not surprising. Teri was very meticulous and obsessed with perfection. It definitely had Teri's touch. Teri ran down the driveway with open arms to greet her long time friend. "Jasmine, I'm so glad you're here! How I have missed you. Did you have an easy time to find this place?" "Teri, I'm so glad to be here too. I can't thank you enough, I really am thankful for your generosity, girlfriend. But I'll have to tell ya, I almost chickened out at the last minute." Teri chuckled and playfully smacked her friend on the shoulder. "And I would have been beating down your door to drag you here, you nut!" Teri hugged her friend and led her indoors. "It is really great to have you here, you know. I'm really glad you came. Come, we have tons to catch up on." Teri led Jasmine upstairs to what would be her bedroom for the duration of her stay. "When you're settled, come down and we'll have lunch and talk. Kitchen is to the right at the bottom of the stairs." "Thanks, Teri, I won't be long." Jasmine said as she turned to enter the room. What a totally delightful room! Jasmine always envied Teri's decorative talents. The room was painted in a soft pink, carpeted in a lush hunter green. The bed was facing French doors, which led to a beautiful deck and the infamous hot tub. Sheer curtains draped all around the bed, tied to each post. The same sheers were found billowing in the breeze from the open French doors. What a dream bedroom! Large fluffy pillows, each of different textures but keeping with the same colors found on the comforter. The print was like bringing the sunshine and flowers in from outdoors. Teri thought of everything, right down to the toiletries strategically placed in a wicker basket on the right night table. Fresh lilacs from her garden were beautifully arranged and left on the table next to an overstuffed leather chair. All the comforts you could possibly hope for. This truly looked like something from a fairy tale book. "Goodness," Jasmine sighed as she sat down and was engulfed by the leather chair. "I may never want to leave here." She chuckled at the thought. Jasmine found her way to the kitchen where she found Teri just finishing with setting the table. "Mmmm, looks like a feast for the fit!" teased Jasmine as she took a bite of the scrumptious shrimp salad. "Okay, Jas, time for catch-up time. Tell me, girlfriend, how are you, really? Had any more hassles from that Incubus of a sorry excuse for a man?" Incubus had become the name she referred to Jack. Jasmine thought to herself, "Yeah, Ter, but if only you could understand the man that he once was, the man he used to be, before he became this nightmarish personality. If Teri had met him way back then, I know she would understand my mixed emotions. My yearning for the romantic man he once was, before the gambling and alcohol obsessions." "Teri, we have tons of ground to cover and I know you have several questions. I will try to explain, if I can, where my head is at and where I hope to be going." Teri shot Jasmine a look of total disbelief and disappointment. Teri had a good idea of where Jasmine's head was at. She suspected and knew in her heart, that Jasmine would have a difficult time sticking to her decision to leave Jack. "Teri, don't give me that look. Just listen and save the theatrics for when I'm through, okay?" Teri was not easily swayed by anything Jack said or did, but she conceded to hearing her friend out. "Okay, Jasmine, Okay. I will do my best to keep my mouth shut and listen. You have my undivided attention." she said quietly. Jasmine continued to toy with her food on her plate as she tried to explain the unbalanced emotions raging through her mind. "I've filled for divorce, which I know is what you have wished for, but now that the storm has blown over, I'm having a difficult time with this. Jack has stayed away, but has called me and is trying to show me that he really does care. He is willing to change, or so it seems. He is being really kind, and patient, he is willing to go to counseling if I agree to go back to him." Teri gave her a skeptical look and was about to say something, but Jasmine cut her off. She put up her hand and said, "Teri, I know what you are thinking, but sit back and hear me out, please? I thought I was ready, strong enough to leave, but truth be told, Teri. I still love him!" Jasmine sobbed at this admission but pushed Teri's hand away. Teri took this opportunity to get in a few words. "Jasmine, I cannot for the life of me, understand how you can profess to love a man, a sorry excuse for one at that, who takes pleasure in hurting you. Girlfriend, he has been mentally tormenting, verbally abusive for years now. To him you are nothing more than a doormat to kick around and blame for his troubles and addictions." Jasmine looked away from her friend, sobbing and nodding her head in agreement with this reality. "Jas, honey," Teri continued in a whisper, "he almost killed you this time! He left you for dead. All of this from a man who says he loves you? Who says he'll change? Come on my friend! He won't go to counselling! You and I both know that!" Teri shuddered at the memory of her friend, hospitalized with major injuries. That pathetic man beat her beyond recognition and left her for dead. If it weren't for Jasmine's neighbor coming over after Jack left, who knows what would have happened. That weasel of a man, never even so much as tried to contact the hospital, never mind show any remorse. Jasmine had not heard from him for three months. The counselors had convinced her to file for divorce. Teri hoped with all her heart, that Jasmine could escape this horrendous lifestyle. Teri was brought back to the present when Jasmine continued. "Teri, I have tried to really look deep into my soul and my heart for the right answers. Hell, I know, in my mind, I have to leave him. That this is no good. But damn it, I love the man I fell in love with. The man, he was, before the drinking and the abuse. Sometimes, I still feel, if I love him hard enough, if I try hard enough, I can help him make it back." Jasmine tried so desperately to hold back the sobs. "Teri, I just can't see myself giving up and failing in this marriage. The thought of what everyone will see when they look at me as a failure is unbearable. I don't want to start over, I can't see myself starting over again, alone. God, Teri, I don't want to be alone. Being with Jack may have a lot of drawbacks, but Teri, I know what to expect with him. I know some days I will have to walk on eggshells, and I know, on others it will be okay. After all, he is so seldom home. I at least know what to expect. I know what the worst is. Alone, out there, I don't think I can handle not knowing what comes next." Jasmine let go of her emotions and turned away from Teri. Teri went to her friend and put her arms around her to comfort and console her. "Teri, I am trying to put some space and sense into all of this. After I was discharged from the hospital, I really felt like a failure. I had failed myself BIG TIME and was embarrassed that now, so many knew. I went into a depression. Anyway, one day, I heard about this chat line on the internet. I thought I'd go check it out. You know, just for some escape. Some idle chatter with anyone out there. I was so lonely for company, and too embarrassed to reach out to my friends. Teri I discovered a whole new world online. Please don't judge me, just listen to what I have to say." Jasmine was not sure she could divulge the entire truth to this story to her friend, but shared what she dared with her. "In no time at all I found myself totally addicted to the world online. There, I met other women in similar circumstances as I. Our common bond? We were all lonely women who needed a friend or someone to share with. I did start a conversation with some man. As luck would have it, he lived only an hour away. That was a curious thought for me. It was intriguing to talk to someone who was close, who perhaps I had once crossed paths with in real life. At the beginning of our talks, it was just chatter, total nonsense, all about our observations of online people and their reasons for being there. This man was married and always living out of hotels. He traveled a lot with his job and came online out of curiosity. He was not looking for anything in particular - it was just something to do while he was alone in a hotel room. This man was a total gentleman. Slowly I began to flirt with him. He responded to my moves and flirted back. He suggested that I email him.. Teri we began corresponding by email after that. Well, now what do I email a total stranger? One who is married at that? I was sure he did not want to hear about my 'so called life' nor did he need to hear about mundane routine like things. Men hear enough of that from their wives, right? "
Copyright © 1999 Tanea Jordan |