Some Things Need To Be There Wiley sat at the kitchen table and stared out at the early spring day announcing its presence through the window on the opposite side of the table. One of his enormous hands, rough from years of farm work rested on the table, and the other on the cane that had assisted him on his way to the table. He had been an tremendously powerful man in his youth, but age had eroded him until all that now gave evidence of the power that his body once commanded were those tremendously large hands. “Dad,” Linda called from behind him. “Would you like some coffee?” “Yeah,” he answered without turning to look at his daughter. “I believe I would if you wouldn’t mind.” “Well, I don’t mind,” Linda answered as she continued to work the kitchen behind him. Wiley continued staring out the window in silence. “You know,” Linda said after some time. “You’ve been getting really quiet lately.” “I just been,” Wiley said, then let his voice trail off. “You just been what?” “I just been thinkin’ a lot lately.” Linda brought two cups of steaming coffee to the table. She sat one down in front of her dad and took the seat to his left. “Thinkin’ about what?” she asked. Wiley took the cup of coffee and sipped in silence for a moment. At last he sat it down, but his eyes stayed fixed outside the window. “You know,” he said at last. “I’ve been thinking I just want to go home.” Linda sat her coffee down and placed her aging hand on top of her father’s tremendous hand. “Dad,” she said. “You are home.” Wiley suddenly turned his eyes to meet hers. His face seemed puzzled. He looked into her eyes. Linda knew his reaction well. She had missed his meaning. She moved quickly to correct herself. “Dad, you know we don’t have the farm anymore.” “I know that,” he sighed. His gaze became distant. He turned his head and returned his stare out the window. “I just want to go,” he paused a moment. “Want to go home,” he nodded. Linda patted his hand and smiled, but her smile was unnoticed to her father. She wondered to herself – despite his age, his mind had remained crystal clear, or so she thought, but lately sometimes he made statements such as this that made her really wonder what was taking place behind those steely blue eyes. He seemed coherent, but some statements just didn’t quite connect. “I don’t reckon I’ll put out a garden this year,” Wiley said. “There just doesn’t seem to be any point.” “I don’t suppose you need to,” Linda said. “I think we can eat just fine without it.” “It won’t seem much like home without a garden, will it?” “Ah we’ll manage. You don’t need the trouble of keepin’ it up, and we’re fine without it.” Wiley nodded and sipped his coffee again. He sat his cup down and looked again into Linda’s eyes. “But you need some things to be there in order for it to be home.” Linda read his face again. She was not sure what he was trying to tell her. “Jas and I can put out a garden if you really want one.” Again, Linda read in her father’s face that she missed his meaning. “Dad,” she said. “What are you trying to tell me?” Wiley reached, and clasped her hand gently between his giant paws. He smiled at her and nodded, then placed her hand back onto the table. He took his cane in hand again, and tried to rise. The once powerful body struggled to its feet assisted by hands which once threw hay bales like child’s toys, but now struggled just to hold him steady. “You need help?” Linda offered. “I’m just fine,” Wiley answered. He slowly made his way into the living room and sat down in his favorite arm chair and stared off into the distance again. Linda rose and gathered the coffee cups to the sink. She wandered into the living room to turn on the television, but she paused as she looked at her father. Tears had welled up in his eyes and now ran down his cheek. Linda caught the direction of his stare and followed it to a picture on the wall. She smiled as she looked at the black and white picture of the young man and woman in front of a humble house with a young girl standing before them. She went to the wall and removed the picture, then sat down with it beside her father. She reached gently to him and dried his face with her hands. “Is this what you’re looking at?” she asked. He nodded. “You were missing mom again?” Wiley nodded again. “I’ve just been … thinking.” “Dad,” Linda began. We have a lot of good memories together. When you’re thinking you have to think about the good things. “We have to move on sometime,” Wiley said. “Yes we do,” Linda answered. Wiley blinked, then looked into his daughter’s face with the puzzled look that told her once again that she had missed his meaning. Linda sighed. She just could not understand what he was getting at. She sighed, then patted his cheek and went back to the kitchen to finish her work. She sang as she worked in the kitchen and began preparing the evening meal. Singing was always a pleasant thing to accompany her house work. It lifted her mood, and helped her to think, and she needed to think this day about the man she thought she knew so well, but who had become so mysterious these last few days. As she sat the table, the front door opened. She smiled as she anticipated her husband’s usual pleasant reaction to the carefully and skillfully prepared meal she was setting on the table. He sang as he came through the front room and into the kitchen. “Mmm,” he said as he entered the kitchen. “Sweetheart, if that’s you I smell I’m gonna …” “Jas!” she interrupted smiling. “Dad can still hear, you know.” “Oh yeah,” Jas answered. “Where is he?” “He was in the front room, was he not there when you came through?” “No he wasn’t,” Jas answered, then he kissed his wife. “Well I better go check on him real quick,” Linda said. “He’s been kind of odd today.” She went through the front room and down the hall to her father’s room. She knocked on the door. There was no answer. “Dad?” she called through the door, but to no avail. She tried the knob – it was unlocked. She put her head inside the room. Her father was laying on the bed, but in an unusual position on his side. “Dad?” she called again, but there was no response. She opened the door fully and walked to his bedside. There was no color in his face. Panic began to grip her. “Dad!” she called more urgently, but there was no response. She placed her hand on his face. He was cold. Tears came into her eyes. “Daddy!” she called as she shook him. She ran back to the door of the bedroom. “Jas!” she shouted down the hallway. “Jas! Something’s wrong with daddy!” Jas ran into the room and walked over to Wiley. He noticed the two enormous hands drawn up close to his face. He reached down and took hold of one of them. Stiffness had already begun to set in. “Pop!” Jas exclaimed, then reality set in with him. He checked Wiley’s breathing just to be sure…there was no mistake. He turned to his wife. “Sweetheart, he’s gone.” Linda ran into Jas’s embrace, dropped her head onto his shoulder and wept bitterly. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Jas cooed as he embraced his wife and patted her on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” “He was the last one,” Linda sobbed. “They’re all gone now.” “I know,” Jas said as he continued to embrace her and sway gently back and forth. “I’m so sorry.” Linda pulled back and Jas released her from his embrace. She leaned down to her father and took that tremendous hand once again. She struggled with the stiffening until she had revealed the picture of the young man and woman with the child before them. Tears welled up in her eyes again. “My gosh!” she said. “How could I have been so dense?” “What do you mean, sweetheart?” Jas asked. “He said he wanted to go home. I didn’t understand that home was where his Lord is and where mom is. He said there wasn’t any point in putting out a garden this year. He said there were some things that had to be there for it to be home. I thought he meant that garden, but he was talking about mom. He said we had to move on sometime and I thought he meant me and him, but he meant mom and him. I just didn’t understand!” Jas gathered her into his embrace again. “Sweetheart, you understood when it was time for you to understand. He was tellin’ you, but you didn’t need to understand ‘til right now.” Linda wept bitterly on Jas’s shoulder. Jas held her, swayed gently and patted her on her shoulder. At last, he pulled her back. “Look, sweetheart,” he said. “I want you to see something.” Linda wiped the tears from her eyes and looked. “Look at the way he’s holdin’ that picture,” Jas said pointing to the shell Wiley had left behind. Linda looked. Tears filled her eyes again as she turned to Jas. “He passed on with his head on Mom’s shoulder,” she said. “Yes he did,” Jas answered. “Yes he did.” Linda wiped her eyes again, then knelt beside her father’s bed. She gently caressed his cheek once more and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek one last time. “You don’t have to miss her any more, dad,” she said. “Tell her ‘hi’ for me.”
Copyright © 2005 Steven L Howard |