Going To The Opera The day started out pretty normal, but as you will see…it turned out to be anything but! The day has come for my friend, my son, and I to go to the opera. A day we have waited for in anticipation for many months now. I pop out of bed, hoping to get an early start on the grooming process. A girl has to have time to primp! The dog has to be let out for his daily routine, so my facial had to wait for a while. I get out my favorite creamy mask and start slathering it on my face; hmmm…the tube is almost empty. What if I try tapping it on the counter? I tap lightly, nothing, a little harder, nothing. By now, my face is half covered, and starting to dry. One more good whack and that will do. Big mistake! The tube bursts and what once was a pretty white sink and shiny mirror has turned into a dripping gooey mess. It looks like an alien threw up in here! Green slime splattered everywhere! I try to compose myself, and think of the night to come. Once the mess was cleaned up, it’s time to relax with the mask on, and renew the soul with soothing music and a good fashion magazine. All relaxed with dreams of looking like a model for tonight, the phone rings. Instinctively, I answer it, not realizing I still had a facial mask on. As I replace the receiver back into the cradle, there it is, that green goop left by that being from outer space again! Did you ever try to get cucumber mask off of a phone? The tiny holes were clogged with the stuff. Another mess to contend with. Using toothpicks to clean the clogged holes does not work! The time is drawing nearer, now for the rest of the beauty routine. Shaved legs, check, shaped eyebrows, check, clothes out, check, jewelry cleaned, check. Let’s hit the shower. As the music of the opera goes through my head, and the warm water from the massager beats down on me, something isn’t right. The water pressure is going down, and getting colder. I know I didn’t use ALL the hot water on the days’ wash. Standing there naked, cold and confused, feeling lucky I was almost done, the water turns to a trickle. Caught between wanting to know where the water went, and wanting to just get ready and leave, I give in to the mystery and let it be just that. Now, the time is really getting close to leave, and I still have to dry my hair, make up will be applied when I get to my friends house. Out to the car I run, with dress, wrap, bags of make-up, and other essentials, and get all settled in for the 40 mile trip. Oops, forgot to let the dog out! I would have a small flood in the house if he didn’t get to “go”. Back into the car, plotting the directions, figuring the best way to go under the circumstances of time of day, and flow of traffic. Traffic is moving pretty good, I feel good about the time frame of arrival, and then it hits me! I forgot the tickets! Thirty miles from home, and I FORGOT the tickets! Quick, where is there an exit ramp? As I race back home to get the tickets, another toll to pay, running out of change, I realize the gas tank is low on gas. Is someone deliberately out to mess up my special night, or what? Finally after arriving home, the dog is so happy to see me, he jumps for joy, and lands on me! Already frantic about losing so much time, I wasn’t paying attention to the onward leap from the dog, and we both landed in the floor! No bruises, thank goodness! Found the tickets, out the door, come back, decided to call friend and tell her I was late. Really late. Back on the highway again, this time traffic is more congested. The music in the car is not helping me relax, I try to find another CD to play, and as I bend down to look, there goes the exit ramp I was supposed to take! Now instead of the trip taking an hour, it’s going to take two! No place to turn around, as I am heading up the causeway to the bridge, the point of no return! And the time ticks on. I finally arrive at my friends’ house, supposed to be there at 3:00 and now it almost 5:30. Luckily she is already to go. I whirl in like a small tornado with all my belongings in tow. Rush to the bathroom, happy that it is big enough for the both of us to fit into. I work on the makeup, while the curling iron gets hot. My friend dumps the things on the bed in order that I will need them. I brought 2 dresses, and 2 pairs of shoes, just in case, which dress looks best? We decide on the long one, more sleek and exotic. She cuts the tags off of it, I just bought it yesterday, and I start on my hair. I do the front she does the back, giggling about what women go through to be beautiful for a couple of hours! Make-up done, hair fluffy and stylish, I start to spritz my hair with hairspray. All is going well until the nozzle sticks! Again, sticky stuff goes all over! The hairspray bottle is alive! It is spewing and spitting hairspray wildly in the air! The only thing I can do is drop it in the toilet! It stopped spraying. I think I actually drowned it. Now it is time for the clothes to go on, what more could possibly happen? As usual, I spoke too soon. Pantyhose go on pretty good, dress, next. All the tags gone? The dress comes up from the bottom, everything is going great! Zipper works, but what are these strings hanging out at the top of the dress? I could use some extra padding at the bust, but these strings are not going to do it! Does anyone really use the strings or straps that the manufacturer puts into clothing to hang it? Who is the person that decides wear they go? And why do they put them in the oddest places to pop right out when you least expect it? O.K. so I will tuck them in, and no one will ever know they are there. Shoes were the next dilemma…the ones with toes in or sandals? I opted for sandals, more sexy, I thought. As we were inside getting ready, outside has turned dark and getting colder. We were not prepared for it to be this cold! The outfits that we had decided to wear were for a warmer evening. We live in a warm climate area, and cool weather is not something we expect. As we walk outside a cold gust of wind swirls around us, should we go back and get a coat, or brave the weather? We decide to go on; after all it will only be a short walk to the theater. In the car again on the way downtown, making good time, even though we were a few minutes late. As we approach the places I usually park, all the meters are covered with bright orange bags over them. We drive down a little further, more orange bags! My friend gets out and reads it. Bag says “Violators will be towed.” Figuring really quick in my head, I can’t afford an $80 towing charge, I decide to go look for a parking lot. I spot the hotel where we are meeting my son for drinks before the show. I pull in and ask the parking attendant why the meters are covered and where the nearest lot is. Giving us the “once over” look, realizing we are really going to the theater and not hookers, he directs us to the nearest lot, a block away! As I am turning around, my friend says that a man is waving us down, thinking my door was open or some other trivial thing was wrong, I almost didn’t stop. After taking a better look, it was my son! I almost drove off not recognizing him, my own son! I told him it was because I seldom see him dressed up so nice, that’s why I didn’t recognize him; I hope he bought the answer! We made arrangements to meet him inside the hotel. Pulling into the parking lot, it is rather full, but I mange to find a place after driving around a few laps. The weather is getting colder by the minute; I have on a backless halter dress, with a thin wrap, and those “sexy” sandals I decided to wear. I cringe at the thought of having to walk all the way back to the hotel. I think of the opera and how great it is going to be, and charge on. Or rather we shiver our way to the hotel. At last, with cold everything on my body, we get into the bar and have a seat at a small table where my son is waiting. We order drinks and start talking. Meanwhile, I start to warm up and loosen my wrap. And there coming back to haunt me is one of “those” strings poking out of the top again, dangling like a limp worm trying to escape! I quickly and inconspicuously try to tuck it back in, hoping no one spotted it. I politely ask to be excused to go to the ladies room to fix it once and for all. Once there, I grab up that wandering string and pulled tightly…wrong! It was attached to my left breast! It’s a good thing I am in the bathroom, otherwise I really would have made a scene! Safely tucked in the right place, (I hope), I returned to the table. We had a nice chat, and now it is time to go to the theater, about 500 yards away, in the cold, again. We made it to the theater, and only one mishap at intermission. As we all stood up to applaud the performance, my friends’ purse slipped off of the armrest it was hanging on. Of course, as I was stepping down, I caught the purse under my foot, and fell slightly to the right, bumping into my friend, who in turn bumped my son, who bumped the man next to him. Amidst all the applause, we were exchanging apologies! I had forgotten all about the cold outside, all the mishaps of the day and had a fabulous time! It was a wonderful, unbelievably fantastic show, despite the one minor accident at the interlude. On the walk back to the car, I decided we HAD to have our picture taken in front of the marquee. As the crowds were coming toward us, I randomly picked a couple and asked if they would take our photo. They gladly agreed. As the woman was taking our picture, the man was acting out a director fantasy! He was trying to pose us, and move us around to get just the right shot! People where stopping and staring at us, I secretly hoped they thought we were some kind of celebrities, but they probably just thought we were crazy! We all made it back home safe and warm, and the crazy events of the day where just a faded memory, until now, that I am writing about it, and experiencing the calamities all over again!
Copyright © 2001 Susan T. Fisher |