Videotape (1)
Skyler Drevan

 


     It was the videotape that did me in. Had it not been for that blasted film of devastating deeds, I’d be in Maui with my dear beloved Mildred instead of this twelve by twelve cell with molded bread and warm water as my nourishment. This is indeed a sad day in the life of Thurman Marshal. I write to you, my children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters in the hopes that you will not be privy to my impending death by the shameful state of conformity that we have grown to become. This is my last writing as I have been denied the privilege of a pen and paper in the future. Treat this, my dear family as a last will and testament. In this last letter, I will inform the grandchildren that I love them dearly and always will. Tell them, my dearest children, that I have longed been deranged but chose to protect them from the hellish ways of my idiosyncrasies. Inform the dear grandchildren that their grandpa is not the fiend that the damn papers have made me out to be. Although I have many psychological issues brought about by my dear parents and the bitch of a mother you had, I am over all an honest hard working old man who was just trying to make his way through this obstacle called life and the quandary it can bring.
     The lies that were told by the daily rags are the worst kind of lies. I have begun to use these rags as toilet paper. Indeed the lies of habitual money grubbing fiends who instead of seeking the truth, which clearly the videotape offers, choose to paint me an even more vicious monster than even I, Judge Morris and the three psychologists summoned to testify against me have admitted that I was. Please inform the grandchildren to not read these papers or listen to the radio about this case. I want them to know nothing of my horrors in the fears of losing them for good. The love that you my dear children and grandchildren have shown my through this dastardly ordeal will stay with me long after they strap me to the electric chair and switch it on. Dear Annabelle, I know you are not a god fearing person. I know that you are an atheist and for the last forty three years of your beautiful life, I have not tried to steer you in a direction that wasn’t what you wanted. Up until now I have accepted your religious ways. But my darling baby girl, I must enforce this on you now. Please, for dearest daddy’s sake, read the psalms and help me. It would comfort me greatly to know that you have found god and welcomed him into your home and your heart. It is for his greatness that I have been able to survive this long even with the menacing atrocities that I have inflicted on hundreds of families. I will now address you, my children and grandchildren and siblings individually as to personalize this incredibly heartfelt letter to my darling relatives.
    

Annabelle


     My dearest Annabelle, my darling baby girl, I will miss you dearly when I depart from this earth. You were a rock during those hard months after your bitch of a mother left us to fend for ourselves. You were the one whom made me get up out of my depressed state of solitarily and take care of my responsibilities. You, my dearest Annabelle, have been the one who stood by my side even when your bitch mother returned to try and “rescue” you from me. You girls are my babies and nothing will change that. Annie, you know I worry about your health. Have you taken care of that little problem that has plagued you for far too long? Have you seen Dr. Richards like I asked you too? He is a great doctor and I hope that you take my advice and get that little illness cleared up. I need you to be as strong for your children as you were for me. This is indeed a stressful time for all of us my darling. Your health is very important. Please see Dr. Richards like the smart girl that I love.
     This place gets worse by the day my dear. Last night at supper, we were fed roast beef and a baked potato. It was dreadful. The meat was like rubber and the potato had the consistency of moldy wall paper paste. The water, as usual, was warm and not very thirst quenching. Indeed if the people of the United States government wish to see me suffer greatly for my unnerving sins, they really ought to reconsider sending me to the chair and instead lock me inside this place for life. That, my dear, is a fate worse than death. I have been given a new cell mate this morning. His name is Willie Maryland and he is from a small town in Virginia just outside of Richmond. He is a pleasant Negro fellow. He said to me earlier that he was framed for the murder of a white teenager over a parking place. He is very well educated for a black boy. He wants to teach me some things he learned as a boy while his mother was washing floors at a rich white family’s residence. I’ll really miss him. The guards at this damned prison have instructed me not to talk to Willie on the count that he is a Negro and is only in the cell with me because of overcrowding.
     Annie, it would have been great to see you and be held in your comforting arms during these troubling times but those on death row are rarely allowed visitors unless they are from lawyers or particularly relevant to the case. In closing, I just want you to know my darling that I will always have a place in my heart for you. You are a very special and caring person and that will last with you until the day that the good lord above calls you into his wonderful arms. Take care of yourself and your children. Entrust in yourself that they will grow to be as strong and caring as you are. I am very proud of them and hope that my rotten gene will not affect them in any way as it has not affected you. I love you, forever and ever; Daddy.



Mabel

     Happy birthday! Sorry I couldn’t get you a card or something but the guards here were unwilling to allow me the chance to get you a card. I wanted to arrange something for you. I am very sorry that it wasn’t to be. I know that you had a great birthday even in light of my situation. It is important that you forget me after this letter. My scheduled “murder” by the state of Georgia is slated for two weeks from tomorrow. I am prepared. I have my bible right here next to me. I know that God has a place for me in his heaven. Although I have committed many horrendous acts in my life, I know that I am not going to hell. I know that God is forgiving and that he understands my mental instability.
Dear Mabel I can only imagine the life that you are leading right now. You were always brighter than the rest of us and although you have completed school late in your life, I know that you will make a great accountant and that you will be the great success that you have always dreamed to be. You will have that house in Great Neck that you always wanted. I must stress that you don’t worry about me. I must stress that you go on with your life as if I was never here. Destroy all the memories you may have of me. Please burn any pictures and letter that may bare any resemblance to me. It is important for your growth as a human that the tragedy that has been my life for the last twenty-five years remain a forgettable memory. I hear you bought a new puppy. Have you named him or her as yet? Be sure you house train him or her to be a respectable pup. No pissing in the house and be sure he doesn’t jump on people who may not be fond of puppies or are just afraid of pups. Well Mabel, this is the last words that I will write to you. Please remember that I love you dearly and that will never change. You are my darling; I will love you forever and ever, daddy.



Frank


     To my oldest son, I am very proud of you. I recently learned that you have acquired a new position at your job and is now an executive. I see even though I have been a monster to others, I have raised you very well. I know that in your future you will shine like a sole star in the night sky. Have you considered learning how to drive? I know that the accident you had when you were a child scared you deeply but in your new busy position, I know you must be in the office early. I hate to imagine you taking public transportation late at night when the derelicts are out and looking for a victim. Please just try and get yourself a therapist and talk out your inner demons. With the proper care of a trained specialist, you will overcome this fear and buy yourself a jazzy new automobile.
How’s Jessica doing? I am sad that I’ve never met her. She must be pretty special to have won your heart. The last girlfriend you had that I remember was a bitch like your mother is. I know that in some way you were looking for a girl like your mother. Now I know that you have wizened up and dating a girl that is more worthy of your time. I hear also that she has the womanly figures of Ms. Marilyn Monroe and the delicate walk of the great Bette Davis. Tell Jessica that you are my oldest baby boy and that you deserve the best. You have chosen bad women in the past and have had a horrible motherly figure in your life; but you are now in the right direction. I am proud. I love you dearly. Please remember that after you have read this, I am as good as dead. Please burn this letter and enjoy the rest of your very long life. I love you forever and ever, daddy.

Johnny

     Johnny boy, you were the only child of mine to give me problems. Much like your uncle Frankie, I have had my good and bad days with you. You are strong willed and stubborn minded (just like your bitch mother). It is because of our totally different personalities that we have rumbled so in the past. It is because of our never say never attitude that we feel the need to constantly be at each others throat about something as miniscule as how much gravy to put on a piece of stew. Johnny you were the rebel in the family. There is no doubt about that, however you will always be my son and it is for that reason that I will always defend and protect you. Even from behind these bars have I tried to do whatever I can for you. Have you received the care package I had Mrs. Donovan send to you? I used the money I had saved in my show box located in the second closet on the left.
If you are any of the children are in dire need of financial assistance, please do not hesitate to help yourself to a few dollars. There is over five thousand in that box. I hope that it will last you a great while even long after I am gone. I woke up a few nights ago in a cold sweat. I dreamt that you were in the hellish prison instead of me. I dreamt that my no good attorney, Shannon Moore had arranged for you to take the fall for everything I have done. I was in the rear of the courtroom on the balcony with witnesses and I was shouting but could not scream. That dream was painful. I never want to see my children suffer for what I have done. I want you to live happily and to have anything and everything you desire out of life.
You are my youngest boy and that within itself makes you special. For a great while Johnny, something about you have bothered me. I may be old-fashioned in my thinking but you are twenty five years old and I haven’t seen or heard anything about you going out with a girl since you were in your early teens attending your junior prom. Is there something about girls that scares you? Are you shy? If there is anything you need help with in the female department, may I suggest you talk with your brother Frank? His daughter Melanie is looking so beautiful these days. Thankfully I was able to secure a photograph. It hangs proudly over my bed as a reminder that she will go on to do great things as your future children would. You are not getting any younger Johnny. I think it’s time you consider getting married and having children. I read in the paper (one of the few papers I could tolerate at this point) that your best friend and former neighbor when we lived on 45th and Columbus, Martin Boulder have gone off to the war. Keep praying for him. We will defeat those German bastards and show them whose boss. Wait and see. Johnny, I love you with all my heart forever and ever. Love daddy.



Cristina




     Cristina my sweetest angel, you were the girl that I knew would give me something I have always dreamed of. You are perfect in every way. You have a beautiful body with the most glamorous green eyes I think I’ve ever seen. Sometimes I imagine you not as my daughter, but as my wife. I could only have hoped to meet a woman as pretty and smart as you are. Since your bitch of a mother wasn’t much in the looks department, I know that you must have gotten your sweet soft silky skin and full lovely lips from me. Your eyes are unfortunately a trait that was given to you by that bitch but I know that your personality was one that was handed down to you from my side of the family.
     Dearest Cristina, you mustn’t believe the stories that are being told about me on the nightly news. Many “reporters” are saying that I am a homosexual. I know that to be a homosexual is a sin against god. I know that it is immoral and that it is only practiced by those who are among the worse perverts in the world, but that my dear is not me. I am not what that have professed me to be. You remember the stories that I have told you about my past. Remember Billy Jefferies? The twenty year old man who made me perform fellatio on him when I was just a tender young man of thirteen? That was indeed a homosexual and deviant act of drastic perversion but I was under extreme direst. He said that if I weren’t to comply with his orders that I would be summoned to daily beatings and torture. I was frail and small and he was my neighbor. You see sweetie, I had no choice at all. I know I have done some horrible things in my years, but none as bad as volunteering to homosexual acts.
Speaking of Billy; he wrote me a letter a few weeks ago. I was so shocked by it that I have kept it in my bible. Billy is now in his early seventies with a wife of fifty years, four children and ten grandchildren. Along with his letter, he sent a picture. He looks like Satan’s little helper. If in fact there is a place called hell, Billy is on route there to meet his creator. His letter was surprising to me, Crissy. I shall record a paragraph or so here and let you be the judge.
     “Dear Thurman, I know what a predicament you must be in at the current time. I can’t help but somehow take some of the blame for what has happened to you. I recall all too vividly what I’ve done to you on countless occasions so many decades ago. I am truly and deeply sorry for that. I have found religion. I am at peace with God and would like your forgiveness. I am married now with four beautiful girls and ten lovely grandchildren. We live in Columbus Ohio where I am a retired welder of forty eight years. Three of my children are working as attorneys and the little one I like to call “Charlie” is going to college now and will soon be the first police officer in the family. My dad would have been so proud of him as he wanted me to be a cop. My wife Gladys knows of you only because of the daily reports by the nightly new cast and the papers. She does not know that we grew up next door to each other or of the dastardly deeds I did to you. Please before they strap you to the chair and turn on the electricity, say that I have your forgiveness. I really need it. I need closure and I am sure you do too. What do you say, will you forgive me?”
     That was the letter in its entirety. Do you see the irony in what he has asked? Here I am in sing sing for horrible crimes, one of which I was caught on camera doing and he wants my forgiveness. I’m not sure if I should give it to him. What do you think my darling? You’ve always had a greater sense of right and wrong than I have. I cannot help but blame him for my deeds as well. He was the one person who made me a deviant person. I never would have hurt as many people as I have had it not been for Billy. Billy ruined my life and my brain. He made me a maniac and for that reason I do not think I can forgive him. Please forgive me though for not forgiving him. God will not allow me to give him peace of mind. He deserves to be here as I do not. I need to be helped; he needs to be jailed and tortured. If I had told papa about what was done to me he would have been greatly hurt. Well darling I love you more than life itself; Love, daddy.

Julia


     My youngest child, Julia; you are my baby you know that. You were the treasure and believe it or not, the glue that held us together. I am very sorry that I couldn’t attend your wedding to Peter. Although I wasn’t in jail, I was working as a part time painter and was contracted to finish my work at the chapel on 16th street and Monty Avenue. Had I not finished in time for mass, I would have been fired and not able to send money to Mabel when she was in need. I hear that you are expecting a baby in the fall. Congratulations! Do you have any names in mind? I would be honored if you were to name your first born son after me. I’d love to have a namesake. That would be the greatest gift of all. That was just a thought, don’t feel pressured or anything. Well my baby girl, I’m sure that you are going to be a great mother to your child. A much better mother to your child than the bitch who called herself yours was to you. I fear that I am all out of words right now but rest to sure that my love for you will never die. It will burn as an eternal flame from my heart to yours. I’ll love you forever darling, daddy.


     
Interlude



     In these twisted letters to his family, Thurman Marshal does discuss what he has done to put him in the predicament that he is in. Instead, he appears to be a caring, loving and devoted father whose only mistake was marrying his ex wife whom he proudly refers to as a bitch. The old man is in a great state of dementia. He sees himself as a proud father of beautiful children instead of a deviant monster who has destroyed the lives of many families. In these letters, he has not addressed the way he has treated the victims and is only out for sympathy. Truly this is a man who knows of his deeds but knows not to blame himself. He has a frail image of right and wrong and an even more distorted image of what responsibility of ones own actions are. In the next set of letters, Thurman will address his siblings in a more frank manner. Not only will he be verbally harsh, but he will be increasingly vivid in detail of is crimes, particularly to his brother Frankie Marshal. He also gets into verbal assaults and threats even after his certain death. He was truly disturbed but sure to seek vengeance on those who not heed his warning.




Stewart



     Hello Stewart. You are the only sibling that has shown any concern for me as I rot away in this steel box. You are the only one who has shown any concern for me and that is why I turn to you for support. Please do not listen to James. I am a monster, I am aware of that. When I took the first little girl and dumped her face into a vat of acid, I knew what I was doing was wrong. But that is not to say that I was in my right mind when doing so. She was a little girl of eight years old. She was full of energy, full of life and morbidly overweight for a young girl her age. Her face was already horrible disfigured even before she survived my attack due to a botched operation to fix a cleft in her lip. Please know this my dear brother, I am not a pedophile nor am I a fan of necrophilia. I in no way had any sexual relations with little Amy Dubbler before or after the attack.
I know there are no excuses for what I have done and I look to you not for understanding—I am certain that you have no general understanding of why I did what I’ve done—but I look to your for what you have shown me all along even without my asking. I just look to you for the support you have continued to show me. In here it is as if I am not even a human being anymore. I feel that although I have committed inhuman acts, I am treated as an animal that should be put to sleep instead of an old man with unimaginable psychosis. It is so heartbreaking to hear the rumors that are circulating about me and have no means of getting the truth out about me without use of the guards whom already have my life hanging by a thread. Dearest brother, I beg that you disown James. He claims that he is so ashamed of me that he legally changed his name as to have no part of me that he couldn’t change by way of surgery or courts.
I hear he has had a nose job. That is a pretty risqué operation and for him to hate us so much as to do whatever he can to avoid out bloodline than he should very well be disowned. He is indeed no brother of mine and not deserving of our love or respect. He is selfish. Even in this the time we should be helping and supporting me, he decides to attend to his wife and children as if I never even existed. The letter I will write to him will be the last correspondence that he should ever receive from this family. Well Stewie, I guess that’s all for now. I hope you live a happy and healthy life as this place has assured you will outlive me.



Henry


     Oh Henry, throughout the years I haven’t treated you as I should have. I’ve tormented you so and until today, I have not seen the error of my ways and the manner to which they have affected you so. You were the bastard child that my dad created in the middle of an affair and my idiot of a mother decided that you were one of her own and took you in. I have always resented you for that even though I know it wasn’t your fault. No one asked you to be brought into this world (I certainly didn’t want you around) but nevertheless you are here and I have been cruel. However, Henry, I haven’t been as cruel as I should have been. You are weak. You let men, women and children push you around and I never liked that about you. You have the ability to be a strong animal, to take on the world but you choose to cower away like a sissy boy. That is why you were treated like a nancy-boy as a child.
What little torment I did perpetrated on you wasn’t, however, what I truly had in mind for you. My goal was initially to torture you until you bled and died. I wanted you to be my personal little slave boy. You were going to be my guinea pig of malice and pain. I had a whole nightly routine scheduled for you. The first night was the most painful. I wanted to strap you to the bed while nude and administer little incisions into your erected penis. Soon there after, I was to pour hot sauce on your penis then lick it off while biting hard on it with my sharpened teeth. True my thoughts were of perversions but you were special dear Henry. I wanted the love that you had received from momma and papa. I was jealous and you had to pay dearly for my insecurities and jealousies.

 

 

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Copyright © 2003 Skyler Drevan
Published on the World Wide Web by "www.storymania.com"