It Happens; It Matters. Her arms were wrapped tightly around my back. Her neck was placed in the little alcove above my shoulder. Her chest was pressed against my chest. She and I were in a tight embrace. I've never had a smile as big as the one that protruded on my face at the moment. It was my first tight embrace with somebody who wasn't related to me. With every breath I took, a faint smell of cherry shampoo entered my nostrils. I now loved cherry shampoo. She removed her head from my shoulder and took a step back. Our eyes met and we both smiled. She soon whispered, �Thank you for finally meeting me. I had the greatest time today. The movie was horrible, but at least I got to sit next to you.� My heart jumped higher with every syllable that left her mouth. I wanted to grab her again and continue our hugging. I wanted to be able to smell that cherry shampoo in which I love so much. My face grew warm. My head tilted towards the ground. My shoes turned towards each other and my smile grew larger. I remember seeing her blue sneakers. I remember seeing her denim jeans with the flower design spiraling up the side of her legs. I remember the happy moments of my life. �Oh yeah?� I muttered, �I thought the movie wasn�t that bad. I�m sorry.� One of her hands moved away from her body and towards my chin. Once her hand made contact, my eyes closed and I shivered. She moved her hand up causing my head to move up and once again, we were making eye contact. Still holding my chin she whispered, �Its ok. I promise. Don't worry about it. I promise. You aren't.� I wanted to call her bluff. I wanted all of the hidden camera people to jump out from behind the bushes and yell, �gotcha!� I was only sixteen and it was supposed to happen this way. A car then blew its horn. My smile shrank. Her eyes then shifted to one side to look at the cause of the sound to make both of our smiles shrink away. �Shoot, now I�m sorry. That�s my ride. Maybe we can do this again," she stated as her eyes met mine again, "Maybe." I loved looking into those light blue eyes. I loved watching her pupils shrink at the sound of the car horn. I wanted another hug. I wanted to go buy cherry shampoo. To her, I wasn't. She let go of my chin and started walking toward the car. I watched her back grow smaller as she moved away from me. As soon as her hand grasped the car handle, her whole body turned around and her eyes matched the line of vision from my eyes. She stood there, frozen, with a half smile upon her face. She seemed as if she was waiting for something. My head slowly shook on from side to side in small increments. My mouth made a little circle. What the hell was she was doing? Quickly, the thoughts went through my head. I thought that I could be wrong. I figured what is the worst that could happen. I thought maybe things could finally pick up for me. But what if things went horribly wrong and what if she wasn�t expecting things and what if I just wasn�t ready. To her, I wasn't. �I love you,� I slowly stated. Her mouth silently repeated the phrase I just ended as she opened the car door and began to sit down. My smile only grew. Maybe for once in my life I could finally be happy. No, forget the maybe. For once in my life, I was happy. She looked at me again when she was situated inside the car that was taking her away from me. The only thing in between our glare full of love was her glass window. Soon, the glass pane slowly moved downwards. I could see one of her arms rotating the crank for the window. After a few seconds, there was nothing stuck between our line of vision. Our eyes were connected. She spoke, �Hey.� �Yeah?� I questioned. �Thank your parents for me.� �Darn it!� I looked down to see the pile of yellows, greens, reds, and browns all over my brand new shoes of pity. The shoes my parents gave to me after they told me. I was wearing them because I couldn�t say �Fuck you, this is bullshit,� yet. This was me in the fourth grade. I was only eleven and it was supposed to happen this way. With my lunch tray still perpendicular to the floor, I bent down to pick up a napkin that landed on top of the mashed cafeteria food. With that napkin, I started to wipe up my lunch. The only thing still intact was my milk container. All index fingers were aimed in my direction. Every pair of tonsils and every cafeteria-food-covered tongue were facing me. All sound waves containing laughter were moving through my eardrums. �Great,� I thought to myself as I plopped the yellows, greens, reds, and browns onto my tray, �this day could possibly not get any worse.� �We bought you some new shoes. We thought you would like them. Put them on. You should wear them today.� This was me four and a half hours ago before I left for school that day and it was supposed to happen this way. These were the shoes I have been wanting for the longest time. They�re those types of shoes that every kid in your grade is wearing and the only path to popularity is to beg your parents to buy them for you. Let's just say they were awesome. I didn�t have to beg. I just had to have my father as my dad and my mother as my mom to get those shoes. It was that easy. �We�ve noticed how you�ve been staring at the ads in your magazines,� my dad said as he handed me my new shoes. �We thought today would be the perfect day to give them to you.� �Why,� I asked. �It�s not my birthday.� Now that I look back on it, I never should have asked. But, I guess it had to happen. My mother and father were sitting on the couch. There were three cushions to this couch. My father sat on the cushion all the way to the right and my mother sat on the cushion all the way to the left. My father�s mouth was positioned on the right side of his face in a little circle. His cheeks would puff out occasionally. My mother�s eyes were all wet. �Go ahead, put them on,� said my mother. She almost came to tears while stating the second phrase. In a state of bewilderment, I took off the old sneakers that used to cover my feet to reveal my white socks. I then took each one of my new shoes and put them on the designated foot. I tied them up as tight as they could possibly go as I wiggled my toes to break in the new shoes. They fit perfectly. Their only flaw was that the strings were a little long. But, I fixed that by tucking them between my sock-covered foot and shoe. �These are awesome!� I said as I started to stand up and take a few steps around the room to get the full effect of the brand new sneakers. My dad finally opened his mouth and said, �Son, sit down. Your mother and I have something to discuss with you.� I held back my tears as I reached for my still intact milk container on the floor. This was me still trying to pick up all of my spilled lunch and it was supposed to happen this way. Suddenly, a hand was placed on my milk container. But, they weren�t my hands. The owner of the hand picked up the beverage and juggled it in little circles in his one hand as he asked, �Can I have this?� "Sorry," I said as I quickly snatched the milk carton from his hands, "it's the only thing I have right now. Everything else is garbage." �I�m Dan,� he said, "You can have my carrots." �Well, I�m Steve, but I don't like carrots.� �Fuck you! This is bullshit,� is what I was thinking. I was too young to say it, though. This was me after my parents gave me my shoes and told me of their mutual decision for a divorce and it was supposed to happen this way. I sat there in silence. I looked at my mother sitting on her side of the couch holding back her tears. Then, I looked at my father, who was now holding back his tears, watching my mother�s tears being released from their prison. I thought, �Screw them both,� as I let a single tear run down my cheek. I looked down at my new shoes with their shoelaces tucked into them and sighed. �This is so awesome!� This was me in the transition summer from eighth grade to nine grade and it was supposed to happen this way. Dan said, �I know, I�m glad I found it� We were trying out a new chat program that Dan discovered a few days ago. You entered a world, talked to people, and made new friends. I typed the words, �Hello everybody,� as I entered a world labeled for teenagers. �I�m ugly though,� I quickly typed, �I don�t know if it�ll be a good idea.� This was me at a week before my date with her and it was supposed to happen this way. �Come on! It�ll be a blast. Besides, I want to get to meet you. I feel as if I�ve known you my whole life,� she typed back. I started to type again. �I don�t know, I�ve never really been on a date before. I�ll be extremely nervous. I wouldn�t know what to say.� She replied, �It wouldn�t matter what you said, Steve.� �I�ll have the taco,� I said. This was me in fourth grade again getting my lunch and it was supposed to happen this way. The lunch lady wearing her plastic gloves grabbed a taco shell and filled it with lettuce, cheese, and tomato. Then, she placed it on my tray that was the home for my milk container.. I slid my tray down farther down the line to the cashier who was waiting for my money. I grabbed a napkin and a spoon before I stopped in front of her. The lunch-lady-money-taker-woman smirked as she stated, �I hope you got a buck thirdy-five, hon.� I reached into my pocket and pulled out all the change. I was always given exact change for my school lunches. I wasn�t allowed to buy any snacks. I was supposed to be satisfied with only a small regular lunch. I then started to walk towards my usual table in the corner in which I sat everyday. I dragged my feet because I was still upset about that morning�s news. It was all I could think about all day. Their divorce. Their rotten separation procedure. I was only going to have one parent at a time. I was going to be their lesson in �sharing.� At least I have new shoes. That�s when I tripped. That�s when one of my long shoelaces that I kept in my shoe fell out and my other foot stepped on it. That�s when I lifted my foot with the loose shoelace. That�s when my food went flying to hit the floor. "Why the hell would you want me to thank my parents?" This was me at sixteen again. I was still staring at her as she rolled her window back up slowly and it was supposed to happen this way. Before the glass of the window reached the top of the car and her cranking could cease, she was able to mutter, "They gave you the money for our tickets, didn't they?" And the window was then completely closed. Her car then drove off of the parking lot until I couldn�t see it anymore. I thought to myself, �That's not all they did for me - for us."
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