Storymania - Why Won't He Bless Me? by Paul D Deleon

Why Won't He Bless Me?
Paul D Deleon

My hobby is video games. As embarrassing as that my sound, that’s my thing. The following events took place as a result of me not being able to purchase a video game I wanted because of lack of money. Now I guess you’d have to know my “love” of video games or the hobby to understand the sincerity of my feelings. But I was really down on myself. I really let it affect my daily life. Seriously, it would be on my mind each morning, all day at work and into the evening. That was until a certain Thursday. This is what happened.
I was having a really bad week. I was feeling sorry for myself and complaining about not having this item. It became so overbearing that it was affecting my thoughts and my mind throughout the day.
“Why couldn’t I have this item?” I whined and complained daily.
It finally was getting to be too much. I woke up on Thursday morning and the first thought in my head as the alarm went off at 6 am was the same complaint as I had been having.
“Poor me, why isn’t God blessing me?”
This thought planted itself in my head as I pulled off the comforter and swung my legs to get out of my bed. My feet touched the carpet as I wiped the sleep from my eyes and gave a stretch with both arms. I stood up and gave one more stretch and moaned at my exhaustion. I walked to the bathroom, flipped on the light, without hesitation, the light came on. Then I turned on the faucet to wash my face. Water instantly came out. I groaned again at the cold water, adjusted it with the hot and went on with my morning hygiene schedule. Dragging my feet back into my bedroom, I walked over to my closet. I noticed clothes were everywhere. On the floor, hanging up and even some extras in boxes at the bottom of my closet. I kicked a few articles of clothing out of the way in frustration. Now I stood staring at the clothes hanging up. I scrolled thru each hanger searching for what I was going to wear. After several minutes of flipping thru several options, I found the shirt I wanted. I sighed heavily as I noticed that it needed to be ironed. I walked into the kitchen and flipped on the light, once again, the light came on. I opened the pantry door to get the iron and a few boxes of cereal and macaroni fell out.
“Dang man!” I said loudly.
I picked up the boxes and shoved them back into their respective places on the shelf. One box wouldn’t stay because the shelf already had too much food on it. I finally got the box to stay although now with a newly formed dent. I reached up and took the iron out. After I ironed, and was dressed I put some bread in the toaster, poured a cup of coffee and packed my lunch. All the food was where it was supposed to be. With the toast finished and gone, I walked back in my room. My mind shifted to the weather and I complained of the coldness lately.
“What would the weather be like today?” I thought.
First I flipped on one of the 4 televisions in my house and then clicked the Tivo, cable box on. I couldn’t remember the weather channel number. I scoffed at the thought. I scrolled thru about 40 or 50 channels before I gave up. Slamming the remote on the television set I again asked,
“Why can’t anything go right for me?”
Then I walked over to one of the two computers’ in my house and clicked my internet explorer. Instantly I was online. I skipped over the headline that read, “6 family members killed in house fire on the east side last night”, searched the web and got the weather update.
“32 degrees?” I whispered out loud.
I stood up from the desk in disgust and walked to a different closet where I kept my coats.
“Too heavy, too new, already wore that one…” I thought as I flipped thru them.
Again reaching frustration I finally found one that would do. I, at this point, noticed I was frowning and might have been since I’d been awake. I adjusted my facial expression and walked towards my daughter’s room.
“Look at this living room.”
I said as I picked up the pillows and tossed them on the couch.
“Someone left my DVD player on?”
I said as I pushed the power button hard to show my frustration.
My eyes caught the video game console and my mind was again filled with the same thoughts.
“Why won’t God bless me?” “I’m in church, I’m changing my life, why can’t I get a break or at least be blessed?”
I felt my face frown again but did nothing to change it. I walked down the hall and flipped on the light. I saw pictures hanging on the wall. Three beautiful healthy kids were looking back at me. All three were smiling directly at me. All three had an unconditional and unwavering love for me. All three were smart. All three of them were happy. Sadly my only thought was,
“I wonder if my mother-n-law will keep them this weekend.”
I walked past the photos and into my daughter’s room. I went thru the same motions of deciding what she would wear and found myself with even more choices than I had to select from.
20 minutes later I was ready to leave. I rubbed my daughter’s forehead and started to walk away to leave. She said,
“I love you daddy.”
I responded with an abrupt,
“You too.”
I went over and knocked on the bathroom door because I “had” to say goodbye to my wife. A beautiful woman, wife of 6 years, hard working and a loving, caring mother opened the door. I gave a half attempted peck and mumbled goodbye. Again, the thoughts came to my mind.
“This is not fair; one blessing is all I’m asking.” I half directed the thought at God as I reached down and grabbed my MP3 player off the desk.
Now outside, the cold air hit my face. I huffed and pulled my coat together and hurried to the car. I opened up the door to my 2004 extended cab pick up truck and got in. I started the truck on the first try and cranked up the heater. I pushed the faceplate onto my CD player and flipped the switches to the news channel. The news anchor was talking about a car bomb that had claimed 2 more of our soldiers in Iraq. I frowned at the name badge hanging from my rear view mirror. The thought of going to my office job wasn’t helping my mood. The truck heated up fast, too fast in my mind. So I adjusted it with the fan and was ready to pull out of my drive. As I started to back up I noticed my wife had parked her 2003 SUV too close to my truck. I expressed my anger in so many words as I maneuvered to back up.
I finally got out of the driveway and was about to put the truck into drive and head down the street when I noticed I had forgotten to grab my lunch.
“What in the world!” I yelled out loud.
I yanked the truck into drive and pulled up half way into the driveway. I started to get out of my truck and my hand caught something that was sitting on the seat. As I got out it fell and hit the pavement. Not knowing what had fallen out of the truck, I once again gripped and let all the complaints I had that morning take over my mind. I turned around and saw that it was my Bible.
“Why is God not blessing me?”
That was my question all morning long. I reached down and started to pick up my Bible when tears filled my eyes. I let my knees go on the pavement and I cried. Suddenly the morning replayed itself in my mind. The blankets, bed, clothes, food, electricity, water, house, wants, needs, healthy children, loving wife, working vehicles, on and on the list went. And as I picked up the Bible and put it in my lap the biggest thought of all hit me. I was born again. Here I am complaining over a game. I was losing my testimony over a want, accusing my Savior and Lord of cutting me short. The fact that I know what I am and the fact that God saved me; I had the audacity to be complaining over something like this. He sent his Son for me. How in the world was just a sinner, not worthy of life itself, complaining and gripping over a stupid game?
God spoke to my heart and I was humbled and broken. Embarrassed is not a strong enough word.

Now I’m sure this story may seem a bit trivial. Perhaps you have no trouble recognizing the how truly blessed you ar. But just maybe, if I forgot others may forget as well. In my case it was a video game and a simple hobby that I let blind me from the abundance of blessings in my life. However, point is it only takes one thing, no matter how big, to let us miss out on what we truly have.