A Story With No Beginning Once upon a time… No, wait. That’s no way to begin a story. That opening has been used to death and it’s become such a cliché among the tales of the fairy. It’s almost as bad as starting a story with that pathetic line, “It was a dark and stormy night…” which in itself is just a longer and more mysterious way of saying, “Once upon a time…” and that just doesn’t fly well with me. I try to never begin a story with the words “Once” or “It,” because in my experience, if a story begins with one of those words, those seeking a good story will usually moan and turn the story into molten debris after only the first word. And don’t try and do a fancy-pantsy dance around this problem and drop the “Upon a time” and go with just “Once,” or change “It was” to “On” or “Before” or even “After” because these are just easy ways of trying to sound different while still going with the cliché’s. So, I’m going to have to find a different beginning for my story. The story I want to write is very special to me and I don’t want to fall into the trap of regurgitating the same old tales over and over, inevitably leading to that god-awful ending, “…and they lived happily ever after.” Find me a hole, I want to throw myself in and… wait, that’s a cliché too isn’t it? Okay well, move out of the way, my stomach’s about to backfire. Ending any tale with those words is easy, boring, and just downright sick. But, I have seen some stories that like to use a slice of information from their climax to thrust a person into the tale and say “Hey, keep reading to find out why this happened and who did it.” So maybe I’ll try that. * * * The cold steel of the thin sword was slowly pulled from Lilafinni’s chest, as blood oozed from her wound… Whoa-ho! Wait a minute. I’m going to have to stop right there. I can’t start the story out like that. It gives away the surprise. What’s the point of continuing the story if you find out the love interest is killed in the first line? I can’t be giving up secrets like that, just to thrust someone into a story. I mean, no one in his right mind would continue a story after learning something big like this. That’s like starting the story out like, * * * They were married two moons later, and although Kel’s death would always be on his mind, he knew he would forever find solace in his one true love… You see what I’m saying? If you knew that my protagonist killed the antagonist and married the flower princess in the first line of the story, there would be no dramatic tension whatsoever and you’d be bored out of your mind. Let me think. What else can I do to begin my tale? Well, I’ve seen landscapes and the scenes begin a story before. Maybe I’ll go with that. * * * The leaves whispered in the crisp air of the forest… No way. This would make the beginning of the story long, and completely boring. No one wants to sit through mounds of description about landscape. The beginning needs to catch the reader’s attention and be relevant, without giving away all of the secrets that will eventually produce themselves at the end of the story. Let’s see… uh… well, I have seen some writers begin their story with dialogue; in fact, I’ve done it myself on occasion, but it has to be something that will tie in with the back story of my protagonist, but not be so blatant that you learn that my protagonist was in fact the son of a king who was banished from the throne by his cousin. No, you want to learn all of these facts throughout the course of the story. But, the piece of dialogue can’t be so arbitrary that it makes absolutely no sense. It must be somewhere in the middle: to give you the feel for how the character will speak, and be able to grab your attention. How about this: * * * “I want your blood, and I will have it. The crown will be mine forever.” Yes. Now that… wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I can’t start the story here. This again puts the story near the end, and I would have to put in too many “had-hads” and I hate using those. Using “had-hads” is alright when explaining something majorly important, and are okay in a couple of sentences, but when the entire story becomes a back story, “had-hads” become a real nuisance. But then again, I could use what’s known as a flashback, But that’s just as bad as using the had-hads. I mean, I’ve tried using flashbacks in past tales, but they always seem to make me lose the feel for my story and I end up scrapping it. In fact, this one time, I was writing about a man who had flowers growing out of his ears, and he eventually met another man who had had the same experience. And so I needed a flashback to explain how he coped with this and was able to combat the flowers in his ears. But, by the time I finished the flashback, I found that the entire scenario was ludicrous – that two people getting a disease where flowers grow out of their ears would just be too much for some readers, and I had to discard the whole thing. I found I couldn’t enjoy the writing anymore. Coincidentally, the flower guy has a pretty healthy role in this tale. You see, the man was cursed by a warlock and has almost become a complete flower. His feet are planted in the ground, and there is no place on him that is not sprouting. He lives in the forest, where my protagonist finds him. In fact, without the flower guy, my protagonist would have never met his love interest, the flower princess, who was born from a flower bud, due to the residue of the magic used to curse the flower guy. And, because she is the most perfect creature to ever live, my protagonist falls deeply in love with her. Hey, maybe that’s where I should begin my tale. Let’s try. * * * The flowers spoke beauty and out she stepped, sparkling in the rays of the sun… No. How about, * * * The flowers rose from the ground, to reveal the essence of a man… No! This is all crap. I can’t start the story with the flower guy, there’s just too much to explain in his appearance to do that. No. I need to start my story, not at the end, not in the middle, but at the beginning… but then again, isn’t that the problem? Uhnngg, this is so difficult. So many choices to choose from, I don’t… Well, now. How about the birth of my protagonist. That seems like a logical start to my story, doesn’t it? Yeah. I’ll start there. * * * The screams of labor echoed through the mist… But wait a minute. If I start the story here, I would have two characters that have a very detailed past – namely, his father and mother. I would need to explain that they met in the forest after the father was dethroned by his cousin and sent out to be slaughtered. I would need to explain that a mysterious woman came out of the shadows to rescue him from death and that they fell instantly in love. I would need to explain that they lived a very comfortable life, until my protagonist was born. This is all very important because it connects my protagonist with his father and explains why he is in the forest in the first place, so I can’t just leave this part out. * * * The sword was raised slowly to the tips of the sky when suddenly an arrow struck the man through the chest and he fell, dead… Not quite… if I start here, I would have to explain the details of how and why the father was dethroned, leading to about a hundred had-hads. I would need to explain that a girl was born to the father’s cousin. I would have to explain that this girl met and wed a man she thought to be truly honorable. I would have to explain how this man (my antagonist) betrayed his wife and murdered her, blaming the murder on the father and dethroning him because of it. So, to be fair, I think I need to start the story at the first encounter of the cousin’s daughter and her eventual husband. * * * Her heart floated like that of the clouds above and she could see in his eyes a trust and a love and a faith that made her head soft, and her legs weak… Oh my god. You see – you see what’s happening to me. I’ve had to resort to using the eyes to get the story going. That right there can kill any story. I mean, eyes are not only the hardest thing to talk about without sounding insane, but they are so cliché, that… oh, I don’t know. And I don’t care since this meeting just conjures up even more details that need to be addressed. I would have to explain how this girl was born to the cousin, and what the feelings were on that. I would have to explain the relationship between the cousin’s father and his brother (my protagonists great-grandfather) and how the great-grandfather became king in the first place. I would have to explain that the last member of the first royal family died, leaving a hole in the structure of the kingdom, and how the entire population voted for the grandfather to become the next king. * * * “Grasdel. Grasdel shall be our next king. He is honorable, trustworthy, and has worked by the king’s side for decades…” No. I can’t start the story here. I just gave myself another problem. What did he do for the King? How did he get to that position in the first place? These questions would have to be answered, but if I keep going on with this, the story will end up being three-thousand pages long, and I wouldn’t even reach the heart of the story, which of course is the story I want to tell, until, like, the last hundred pages. So, I’m fast-forwarding to past the birth of my protagonist to the point where he finds out that he is actually the true king. * * * He was only twelve when he… No! This brings us back to that pathetic clichéd beginning of “Once upon a time” and “A dark and stormy night.” No! * * * “The secret, my young lad, is that Kel is not the true king of this land, and the one with the royal blood is you, my son…” No, no, no,no,no,no. That quote is worse than my first quote. It reveals too much. Just a minute. Let me think of something else. How about, * * * The flower princess dropped to her knees in pain, crying over the only person she ever loved… No. * * * Kel was not one to be reckoned with, and the flower princess had reckoned… God, no. That sucks. * * * He knew he was special, but what he was about to hear would change his life forever… Yeah, right. * * * “You must avenge my death, my son. And get back what is rightfully yours…” Pathetic! * * * She glided through the air, tears streaming down her cheeks to fight the one who murdered her father… This isn’t even about my father, err, protagonist. * * * He raced after the lovely being that would one day be his wife… Break out the potions of death – I just wrote the worst line ever. * * * This sucks. I’m just a young fairy trying to write a sweet little tale about my ancestors, and I can’t even find a reasonable beginning to start it with. My mother and father were wonderful people and are worthy of a magnificent tale, but if I can’t find a worthy beginning, I’ll just feel like I’m rambling, and I really don’t want you to have to read a story that had no point whatsoever. So… Well, how about this. I’ll give you the option. What do you think I should use as my beginning? I don’t care what it is, or where it is in the story, just let me have it. Give me a beginning! * * * Once upon a time…
Copyright © 2002 Bryan Caron |