Deathbed Wishes And Lifelong Dreams
Catherine Bartnik

 

     The setting was San Francisco, on an unusually warm day. The year was 1857. A very religious family was sitting around their living room, grief stricken. The family's grandmother was in what was called the sick room, on her deathbed. Though she was resting peacefully, there was too much emotional stress in seeing her withered body. The sick woman woke up suddenly and started calling for her 5-year-old granddaughter. The little girl was filled with fear of the sick room, because that is where sick people go to die, but she tried to be brave for her family. She walked slowly into the room towards the bed. "Go over to the night stand," Grandmother Abby told the small, frightened girl. "Do you see a nightgown, Emily?" she asked her. "Yes, I do. What should I do with it?" Emily said in a small, barely audible voice. "Bring it here, dear." Emily didn't understand why her grandmother would want a nightgown at a time like this but she didn't dare object to the wishes of elders. Grandmother Abby told the little girl to sit next to her on the bed so that she could hear a nice story. Little Emily waited with anticipation for the tale because her grandmother made up the best stories for Emily and her friends. Holding the flannel nightgown in her hands she began the story, which was more like a history of the sleeping garment. In the story there is the conversation between Emily and the grandmother.

"This nightgown has special powers, and someday you will understand my words more but for now it is somewhat like a fairytale." Emily was already held in a trance by Grandmother Abby's story telling abilities. "Grandmothers give this gown to their granddaughters." The grandmother began to get sleepy from her illness but she continued for the benefit of the small child. "The girls are always very young so they don't understand stories such as these. When those girls wear the nightgown they can go off into another world. A world filled with happy people, bright flowers, and lots of room to play. Everyone in the world knows everyone else and there is no reason for anyone to be uncomfortable ever. There are a lot of people that believe that such a world could not exist for it is not logical. Grandmothers know better. We have lived and know much. We hold the secrets of life and eventually death. Much can be learned from people of old age for they have the experiences of life." Emily had a puzzled look on her face because her grandmother seemed to be rambling on without cause or reason. "I see the way you are looking at me and no, dear I am not crazy. Many people believe that grandmothers are because often life will drive you over the edge." There was a nervous laugh emanating from the little girl. She didn't know exactly how to respond to such a comment. "I can still think straight but when you hold the secrets of life in your mind the knowledge may be too much to bear for even the strongest of souls." Grandmother Abby's face twisted up into a weird position. "You don't think less of me because of the things I am telling you, do you dear?" The girl thought for a minute because she wasn't sure what her grandmother was saying but she thought it meant did she love her less for it. "No, of course not. I love you and nothing you say to me will change that." Emily was perceptive for her age. She understood most of what she was told even if it did not make an impact for a few years. "Don't say that yet. Before this day is through you will think of me differently. I cannot begin to tell you if this change will be for the better or a turn for the worse. I cannot read the expression in your eyes the way I could your mother's." This truly did sound like a fairytale because Emily was beginning to fall asleep and that is what happens whenever she hears a fantasy story. "Well, this particular nightgown is the first of its kind. It is special to me and I hope that it will be so for you. Not only does it allow you into the world that I have already told you about, it lets you bring all the people that you love with you." The small girl sat wide-eyed with fascination. Nothing had ever caught her attention like this before and even the grandmother was amazed. Emily had a very short attention span and it was always hard to try to get her to sit still. This story had done both and it was truly shocking. "It is my one wish that you will one day have a big enough heart to invite EVERYONE into the special world. Everyone should know the happiness I am sharing with you." Emily sat there and nodded because she was always willing to do what her grandmother asked. "I did not have an opportunity to do such a thing because my grandmother died before she finished the story of the nightgown's magical powers." "I'll do whatever you want, grandmother," Emily said. "I know you would, but, it's not that easy. You have to really want everyone to be there with you and you can't have any hate in that little heart of yours." Even though Emily didn't really know what Grandmother Abby meant she agreed and asked her to keep going. "You have to keep an open mind and never judge anyone harshly. In order to do what I have asked, you must always keep an open mind and forgive those who intentionally cause you harm. Trust me, this will be a very hard thing to do. I know for it has been my life's goal to live just as I have described." Little Emily was smart enough to know that the words that sounded strange now would one day make sense. She stopped understanding Grandmother Abby's words but one day they would all make sense and be words that she would try her best to live by. "There may be people along your path that will think of you as a mad person but you must try to make these narrow-minded people see things as we do without telling them the story of the magic gown." It didn't make a whole lot of sense that she couldn't tell people of the gown for it would surely make them understand. "I know what you are thinking", the grandmother said, "and the reason that you may not tell people of the nightgown is that it will only ensure your insanity. People will think that you have no place among normal people and they will put you away for life. You will have no freedom and no life left after that. I know this because I have seen this happen to many people." The extent of Grandmother Abby's knowledge amazed Emily. She didn't know how one person could know so much about life and all that might happen to people in it. "I am not a mind reader", the grandmother said, "though I can sometimes tell what people are thinking by looking into their eyes and seeing the expressions on their faces." With the words "good luck" Grandmother Abby passed away holding Emily's little hand. She went back into the living room to tell the rest of her family that the grandmother had passed away. When Emily went into the room with her family, and they pulled the quilt off the woman Emily saw a nightgown of the same kind as the magic one she was given. While everyone else mourned the great loss, Emily knew that Grandmother Abby was off in that special place she had just learned about. She also knew that if she did as her grandmother told her she, along with her family, would see her again. Emily's parents could not understand why their little girl did not miss Grandmother Abby. The conclusion they came to was that the little girl did not understand the meaning of death. Perhaps that was true but armed with the knowledge she now had Emily knew that everything would be all right and the grandmother was not gone in all senses of the word.

Emily grew up a happy person. She never lost her temper and had so much patience that people couldn't understand it. She was great with children; somehow they were attracted to her warmth, and grace. Emily always had a kind word and a smile for strangers and friends. Towards the end of her life she realized that even though she loved others with all her heart, and had the patience of an angel she couldn't fulfill her grandmother's wish. The only conclusion was that since she didn't love herself she couldn�t truly love others. So on her deathbed she found herself beginning the magical story to her granddaughter, Catherine. "This nightgown has magical powers�," Emily began.

The moral of this story is you have to love yourself before you can begin to love others. Only then will you be able to accomplish dreams and the wishes of dying grandmothers.


 

 

Copyright © 1999 Catherine Bartnik
Published on the World Wide Web by "www.storymania.com"