The Shopping Complex
Gordon Shiffers worked in Birmingham as a Manager of a small Company Called. ‘A Fancy Dress for All’. Everyone had gone home early, as it was Friday, Gordon was left reflecting on what had happened throughout the day and what needed to be done the following week. As he pondered he said, “Forget this shit, I am going do something interesting”. He began getting anxious and felt like doing something that he had never done before. He then came up with the following idea, which he said out aloud. “I am going to dress up as Tina Turner and walk round town tomorrow”. After hearing what he had just said he could not stop laughing to himself. He laughed so hard that he fell back off his chair. Tears of laughter fell from his eyes as he stood up and looked around his office. He made his way to the costumes department of the company and began trailing through garments trying to find the celebrity- Tina Turner’s outfits. He found one; it was a gold number that Tina Turner wore on one of her opening tours when she sang, ‘Simply the Best!’ Gordon was so happy that he found the costume, now it was a matter of getting Tina’s big hairpiece, rummaging through the wigs he found the one wig that looked exactly like Miss Turners. He also managed to find a hand held battery operated microphone and black stockings. He packed items into a bag, after locking the place up he made his way home in his red Ferrari. He was thinking about what he was going to do tomorrow so much that he could not hold his excitement any longer. He got home and phoned his best mate Steve and told him what he was going to do. “You’re going to do what!, you are off your rocker Gordon, I mean, people are going to take the piss out of you, I mean…I mean you are going to dress as Tina Turner!…what the fuck Gordon, Your fucked up, I never thought in a million years that you would do something like this!” “Steve, come on, there’s no need to be so dramatic. I mean I supported you when you dressed up as Britney Spears!!! and went to the nightclub, remember? What’s the matter, jealous that I’m doing something with my spare time rather than just sitting on a sofa looking at the carpet and watching the day go by?” “The truth is, I’m feeling left out Gordon, I haven’t had any fun for flipping ages. Can I Come with you tomorrow! Come on please, sort me out with a costume and let’s see what we can do together, what you say? Can I come with you please…please, PLEASE Gordon?” Gordon and Steve knew each other from college and laughed around playing practical jokes on each other as well as other people. This was an opportunity for Gordon to have some fun with his best friend, after a long time, and he was not about to miss out on the opportunity. “OK, OK, I will see what I can do, I will meet you at your house for about 10am, is that ok with you?” Steve could not stop laughing on the phone, he was so excited “I can’t wait Gordon; this is going to be so much fun, see you at 10am”. As soon as Gordon got off the phone he went back to work and got another costume. He found one that he thought was excellent for what he now had in mind for tomorrow. The sky was blue and the sun was shining as Gordon pulled up in his Ferrari outside Steve’s house. Steve worked as a hair and makeup stylist for the rich and famous and was always looking for something to do that made him feel alive and it always had to be a bit daring. What Gordon had in mind needed guts. Gordon rang the doorbell and waited, while clutching hold of the bag with the costumes in it. Steve opened the door, they both locked eyes, a moment of silence followed and then they both began to laugh hysterically at the idea of what they will be doing later grew evidently closer. Steve shut the door behind him as they made their way into the house. “So tell me, what costume did you get me then, I bet you got something really ugly and dated, so that you will be the centre of attention.” They both walked to the living room and sat down on the sofa, facing east, overlooking Steve’s colourful garden. Steve always enjoyed gardening, looking out I could see the big willow tree in the garden; with the leaves swaying in the morning breeze. Gordon unzipped the bag and then said “Don’t say anything until I get the whole costume out and explain to you what this is all about ok?” Steve nodded, his hands were clasped in anticipation, as he looked over towards the bag; he could not believe his eyes when it had become evident what had been chosen for him. Gordon began to explain who he wanted Steve to dress up as. “You’re kidding me! You want me to dress up as him? What the hell! You could have thought of someone else. What do you expect me to do when I am dressed up as him?” “All I want you to do is run after me!”…Gordon stopped and said nothing else and looked over at Steve and Steve started to chuckle. “Two words Gordon,’ you crazy’, ha-ha you expect me to run after you! Hang on a second, you haven’t shown me what you will be wearing, whilst I will be running after you?” Gordon reached into the bag and pulled out the gold sequenced outfit and the Tina Turner wig, along with, black stockings and gold high heels. The high heels were 6 inches high. The microphone was also taken out of the bag. “Ooh My God! You’ll be wearing that while I run after you in the middle of the city centre dressed as Ike! Forget this, this is too much, I think you need to see a therapist” “Look!” said Gordon,”Let’s do this, you put your costume on and I will put mine on right now and we can both see what we look like, then we will talk some more ok?” They dressed in their costumes as well as helped each other with their wigs and joked about what they looked like. Steve went and got his hair and makeup kit and began to apply products on Gordon to resemble Tina Turner, as they sat in the living room. “Thanks Gordon, you have really cheered me up already, I was feeling like shit for the past couple of months, just haven’t had time to meet up and have a laugh for ages” Gordon closed his eyes as Steve began to apply the eye shadow, “I know” said Gordon, “I mean my work is getting me down too, got so much to do and the work load jus never stops. Be quick with that stuff on my eyes, we need to get moving Ste” After Steve completed Gordon’s ‘Tina Turner resemblance’, he began applying makeup to resemble Ike on himself. It was now 12:30pm; they looked at themselves in the mirror, exchanged a few glances, and burst out laughing again. “Gordon you sure you still want to go through with this?” “Of course I do, I haven’t had a laugh for ages, come-on this will be fun. Why? Are you having second thoughts?” “Hell no, I can’t wait to run after you in the Bull Ring Shopping Centre!” The both then made their way to the back garden, Steve wanted to show Gordon some new plants, before they quickly then made their way to the car; parked at the front. “Now Steve you know what you have to do don’t you?, all you got to do is run after me” “Yes, no problem, but it’s going to look stupid if all I am going to do is run after you, I mean what will I do once I catch up with you and finally catch you?” “Well do this, Ike was abusive and he used to threaten Tina all the time, so be domineering and aggressive. Say stuff like, ‘where do you think you going bitch!’, and ‘Ain’t no bitch gona do ME over like that!’” Steve was left open mouthed. “OK, I see what you’re saying”. Steve continued “If I do catch you, fall onto the floor, and recite some of your song lyrics like, ‘I Can’t Stand the Rain’, then I’ll grab you by your leg and kind of drag you across the floor for a while”. They both burst out laughing and started to laugh so hard they began to cry. Gordon asked Steve to stop because he was getting a stitch with laughing so hard. They both could not believe what they were about to do in the middle of the day, in the middle of a shopping centre. The shopping complex was a ten-minute drive away from Steve’s house; both Gordon and Steve were dressed as Tina Turner and Ike as they parked inside the complex. During the drive, Gordon told Steve which shop he would run to, and, pretend to fall at, which would then instigate the dragging by Steve. A lot of cars were parked in the parking bays of the shopping complex that meant a lot of people were going to be in and around the shopping centre. “You ready for this Gordon? Let’s go for it, get your microphone, it’s in the glove compartment.” “Ok, I’m ready Ste, after three, I’ll start legging it ok? Wait, let me just put me high heels on, ok. So we know what we both doing, yes?” Gordon and Steve both look at each other and agree, inhaling deeply. “Here goes!!” says Steve, and continues “ONE! TWO! THREE!” Gordon runs out of the car holding the microphone heading straight towards the doors of the shopping centre followed by Steve. Gordon runs up two flights of stairs and then opened the doors to the shopping complex that was buzzing with shoppers; he grasped hold of his microphone and started running as fast as he could with his gold shimmering tight dress on and matching high heels. Steve was in view dressed as Ike running after Gordon who was now looking more like Tina Turner than ever before. Gordon began to sing on his battery-operated microphone as he ran, “What’s love got to do, got to do with It!”, over and over. Those very same words were sung as if in repeat as he ran while Ike began shouting “I MADE YOU, WHAT YOU ARE NOW BITCH, YOUR ARE NOTHING WITHOUT ME TINA!” as he ran after her, people all around looked in shock, disbelief, others could not stop laughing. Gordon noticed the shop he had to pretend to fall at, the shop was called “Selfridges”, as he fell he completed his song, “a second hand emotion”. Ike followed by grabbing Gordon’s leg and dragging him the full length of three shops whilst shouting, “WAIT TILL I GET YOU HOME TINA! JUST YOU WAIT!”. Gordon swayed around on the floor as if trying to dance free, waving his arms and extending his hands; microphone, dress, shoes and wig all still in place. Onlookers were crowding around Gordon and Steve and began to look on in amazement. Gordon pretended to struggle free from Steve’s leg grip and began to run towards were the car was parked this time singing “We don’t Need Another Hero!” Steve followed shouting “I HAVEN’T FINISHED WITH YOU YET! I’LL BREAK BOTH YOUR LEGS!” The crowd that had now gathered were also in pursuit of Tina Turner and Ike. They both managed to get to the car. As they were about to open the doors to get in, the crowd cheered; which had now gathered at the doorway of the car park to the shopping complex. One person shouted, “Wait! Wait!!” Steve and Gordon looked at each other whilst trying to catch their breath and then looked back at the person who, had come to the front of the crowd and began to approach them. “My names Tanya and I work for the BBC, I was wondering if you could come and see me some time to talk about possible work on Television.” To be continued…
Copyright © 2006 Purdeep Singh |