Storymania - Sushi's Day Off by Kain

Sushi's Day Off
Kain

Sushi’s Day Off

One day in the far away land of kittenville, Sushi woke up from a horrible dream.

“MEOOOW.” she said, “That was a Whale of a dream. I better go in for therapy.”

With that Sushi walked or should I say swam out of her cottage in an apple tree. She strolled down the lane passing by Harriman the mole who said good day, Dagwood the dog who said good morning, and molly the mole who said good night because she was blind and retarded,

“I love u all except molly because she is retarded.” said Sushi and all her gay friends clapped even molly clapped because she was too retarded to understand their cruelty. Sushi got bored and kept walking to thimble the therapist’s house. She walked over a stream and saw a mean goat named Gilligan.

“GRrrr.” said Gilligan. “I don’t like your kind around here.”

“Sushi told Gilligan to eat himself and Gillian said he will consider it. After that they were the best of friends. When Sushi told Gillian that she was going to see Thimbel the therapist, Gilligan was ever so happy.
“O please let me come with you Sushi. Maybe this thimbel fellow can stop the murderous voices in my head.”
“All righty Gilligan than we are off to see the therapist.”
So Gilligan and Sushi continued prancing down the lane to THimbel’s castle.
Not to far from the castle they met a cowardly lion.
The lion tried to scare them but he was so afraid of Sushi’s fat face and Gilligan’s rabid drooling that he ran up a tree.
“Don’t be such a bitch.” said sushi. “As much as I’d like to eat a lion I must go to the therapist castle to see if I’m insane.”
“O golly are u going to the therapist of woz!” the lion exclaimed gaily.
“Um yes” said Gilligan backing away from the lion, but also intrigued.
“I would be ever so happy if you’d let me join u Sushi the brave and Gilligan the goat.”
“I’m sure you would mortal lion.” said Sushi.” But I don’t like gay lions. Gay lions piss me off.”
And with that Gilligan and Sushi were on their way singing were off to see the therapist. The wonderful therapist of woz. Because because becuase becuase becuase were crazy.

Chapter 2: Atlas Shrugged…but seeing as how he isn’t a character in this story, it is of little concern as to what he does

That night Gilligan went to the nearby store and bought a tent and Sushi went to go get food, but they didn’t have money so Sushi had to dance for food which reminded her of her troubled youth in ghetto. All those leering eyes. Sushi remembered how she wanted to be a ballerina but she couldn’t get out of stripping. No once you were in it was impossible to get out. Sushi shed a tear for a minute. She then realized that tears are eatable and so she kept thinking about her crappy past and she and Gilligan had a wonderful bounty of kitty tears. MEanwhile not to far away, that dastardly cowardly lion was plotting his gay revenge on Sushi and the wonder goat Gilligan. Gilligan is known as the wonder goat because he would always wander. Hahahahaha the lion thought to himself. I will see the therapist first. He will cure me of my effeminacy. Then when I am all big and strong and masculine and straight I will eat that goat and his little Sushi hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Luckily for Sushi and the gang, Woodrow the worm heard of the lion’s dastardly plan. Being a worm Woodrow had a lame life and always butted into peoples affairs. He decided that he should find this Sushi and tell her to not encounter this lion because he is evil in a gay way. Woodrow tried to think of the best way to get to a cat he never met and thankfully the lion was busy describing Sushi’s features for no reason. Woodrow decided that travel by air was the fastest way. Climbing a big palm tree in the forest, Woodrow saw Frederick the Falcon.
“Good and noble Frederick, leader of the falcon armies of Thor, take me to the cat named Sushi for she is in somewhat danger from a somewhat dangerous creature.”
“Brave and valiant Woodrow”, said Frederick the super falcon, “I will take u there. Yes I will. It would be my honor to escort the king of the worms on such a noble and pointless quest.”
“King of the Worms?” O yes it all comes together Woodrow. All my life I thought I was different from the other worms. I lived in a big house and my daddy was constantly being called king. I must be the heir to the Worm dynasty.
Frederick bowed at Woodrow’s feet and then natural instincts took over and Frederick ate Woodrow. Now without the brave worm king to save them, Sushi and Good hearted Gilligan were on their own.

Chapter 3: A tale of two kitties…with only one cat

TWas the best times, and it was also the worst of times. Actually this isn’t true because Sushi had ice cream which she really really really liked and it wasn’t so bad that a lion was going to kill them. Gilligan was arguing with a tree because the tree mocked his heritage. Sushi could see that Gilligan was really crazy and began to think about abandoning him, but then she remembered how her parents had abandoned her at that brothel. At the tender age of 27 Sushi was forced into a life of servitude and making sandwiches. Never again Sushi bravely said to herself. I pulled myself up by the boot straps even though I don’t wear boots. I made a name for myself in the sticker adhesive industry and I won’t, nay, can’t go back. But then she remembered that she wasn’t near there and stopped hallucinating. She thought it would be best to leave Gilligan, and so she told gilligan to look over there and Gilligan looked and then cleverly Sushi went the other way. Sushi had tears leaving her good friend Gilligan the sociopathic goat and although she cried mainly to feed herself she was also very sad.
Just then a strange Falcon appeared. But of course silly reader it is Frederick! Leader of the falcon tribes of Thor who had recently devoured the worm king Woodrow and conceived a baby. You see Woodrow’s spirit wouldn’t die. Nay it decided to turn itself into a baby despite what mother nature said. She was like you can’t do that. Frederick’s a guy. And baby spirit Woodrow was like screw mother earth I do what I feel like. Mother earth wasn’t happy with this but she was to drunk to care. So Woodrow’s spirit impregnated Frederick.
“Sweet cat maiden would you be so kind as to let be rest on your back as I am pregnant despite being a guy.”
‘That’s stupid.” Sushi said.” None of this makes any sense. I am just going to ignore you.”
Well Frederick may be a pregnant dude but he is still manly enough to decide that if Sushi won’t help him than Sushi will FEED him with her SUshi flesh. SO Frederick picked Sushi up with his strong talons and carried her to his house underwater. Frederick didn’t like trees because they were too green so he decided to built a very sophisticated under water tunnel to live in an abandoned submarine which used to be piloted by donkeys.
“Now Sushi I’ll give you one more chance to help me. Take me to the THerapist of woz so that I may see if I am truly pregnant of if I am insane.”
“I don’t want to because I don’t like you, but I didn’t like that goat very much either and so I will take you.”
“The two of them started dancing because they were happy and then Frederick carried them back to the road and they continued to Woz. Meanwhile Gilligan the silly goat was eating a family of ducklings because he thought they were trying to kill him. Just then the dastardly lion gaily came up and said.
“Hello there pretty little Goat. We were once the greatest of foes but now we should form a union to go up against Sushi who has screwed over both of us.”
Gilligan didn’t know if the lion was real but he liked the way he talked. Still he didn’t know if he could really kill Sushi. But then Gilligan noticed that his Doc Martins were missing.
“Great gravy that hairy bitch took my Doc MArtins. I’m going to eat her soul.” and with that Gilligan the Goat and the gay lion decided to become friends and the lion hoped more than friends. And they were off on their way to the therapist of woz just as Sushi and Frederick were on their way too.

Chapter 4: Things fall apart...but it is only responsible that we put them back together...

Crossing the tundra and the desert and the ocean, Sushi and Frederick finally reached Woz. It was a stupid place where houses were made of paper so they always broke and instead of growing grass people grew spikes and poked themselves.
“This place is stupid” observed Sushi
“Calm ye fair maiden.” said Frederick.” All we have to do is see the therapist and then we can leave these idiots.”
They found the therapists house and entered. THimbel the therapist was sitting on a plastic chair. He was a silly looking rhinoceros. “Hello Sushi I have been expecting you”.
“Holy cheese nips. How did u know I was coming?”
“Silly cat, my magic rhinoceros horn can sense all. I knew you were coming and the answer is no you not insane because you had one stupid dream. You’re just stupid. It’s taken you 4 years to get here and if you just left your home town in the easterly direction you would have got in 2 days. You stupid cat you went around the world for nothing. As for you Frederick, the baby that defies any sort of natural law inside you will eventually pop out of your stomach. You are stupid to because you ate the worm king and that really pissed him off.
Frederick and Sushi were feeling really down and just when things couldn’t get worse, Gilligan the Goat and the gay cowardly lion burst in.
“Haha silly gooses, we are here to be treated by the therapist.”
“I won’t treat you guys because your lame characters. You’re all lame characters, really. THis story doesn’t make sense. Why would a worm impregnate a falcon? Why would a cat want to have a dream interpreted? Go home before I call the possum police. THe stupid characters decided to ponder what the therapist said and didn’t leave. There fore the therapist called the police and they all got arrested including the therapist even though he kept saying that it was his house, the evil possum dictator kept him in prison because he was a free thinker eventually he got moved to the death camps where he died. As for the characters that were more deserving of death, they lived happy lives in prison. Gilligan discovered himself and him and the lion live happily together in cell block c. Fredericks baby did come out but it wasn’t so much a baby as it was a big piece of poo. Realizing how silly he was for confusing poo with being pregnant and holding it in all these years he laughed, the first time he ever laughed in his life. Now I know that you’re all waiting to see what happened to our hero, Sushi. Well I’ll tell you. She died.

The end