Where Are You Going?
One hot humid afternoon, two men were seated facing each other in a vehicle that was absolutely soundless. The younger man was in his 20's. He was tall and handsome with sharp features and flawless complexion. He was wearing a sweater and a pair of jeans. He sat back relaxed in his seat. Every few minutes he would check his watch, which appeared to be struck at 1:00PM. He closed his eyes for few minutes and looked at the man seated in front of him. The other man was in his 50's, his hair was in a mess. His body was lean and eyes looked like he had not slept for months. He was wearing a thin waist coat. His brown face had fresh wounds. He slipped his hands into his coat pocket again and again. For the younger man, the journey seemed end less, he decided to talk to the only other passenger he could see. He said " I am Faizel. What is your name Sir?" The older man said " You can call me Ram bhaiya". Ram: Faizel, how old are you? Faizel: I am 21, I am still in college. But I am a freedom fighter first Ram: What are you studying? Faizel: Commerce and accounting. Ram could not hear Faizel, he leaned over and Faizel moved next to Ram. Faizel: I go to St. Joseph's college here, I am doing my Bachelors in Commerce and Accounting. How about you Ram bhaiya?" Ram: This journey seems very long, do you know where you are going? Faizel thought for a moment and said, it does not matter where I am going today, I feel happy like I have achieved my life time goal. Why do you look so worried? Ram: I don't really tell about myself to strangers but I feel awful today. I feel that if I open up to some one, my heart might feel lighter. Faizel: Tell me whatever is making your heart so heavy. Ram wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his palm, removed his overcoat and placed it on the next seat. Ram: I am from Bikaner, Rajasthan Faizel: One of my uncle lives there, his name is Dr. Khaleel Khan Ram: Do you mean Dr.Khaleel Khan who works at MGM hospital? Faizel: Yes! Ram: Oh! he is my great friend. We went to the same school. I live very close to his house. I am indebted for all the help he has given me. Faizel: I used to visit him during many of my summer vacations ... Ram: I might have seen you at his place....I remember all these kids playing at his back yard...what a co-incidence.!!! Faizel: Tell me about yourself please... Ram: I had a pretty good childhood for an orphan. I can say that we were from a middle class family. My basic necessities were met and I could go to school and complete my 12th standard. I was a bright student and was very much interested in continuing my education and become a doctor. I used to walk to school with your uncle Khaleel. We used to study together for many of our exams. I was an adopted child. I heard that my parents adopted me from a hospital. I was never interested in finding out about my biological parents as I belonged completely to the family that adopted me. My parents had three of their own children, two girls and one boy. My sister's names are Uma and Radha and my brother's name Vishnu. Uma is two years older then me, she is disabled. She had polio attack when she was very young. She could walk with crutches. She could read, write (dropped out of school when she was 12). She used to enjoy helping mother in the kitchen. I love Uma very much. She is a very caring and a happy person. When we were kids, she would slip some jaggery into my hand when I left to school. Waited for me with a cup of tea when I returned. If our parents gave each of us some sweets during the festivals, she would save hers and share it with me. Once when I was in high school, I worked all night on a home work that was due next day. The next day I forgot to take my work to the school. After I left Uma noticed it and walked all the way to my school to give the home work book to me. My school was not too far, but for a disabled person like Uma, it was quite a distance. I couldn't stop tears rolling down my cheeks when I saw her with the book at my school. I was hoping that she would get married to a caring person in the same town where I lived and I would get to be near her all my life. Years passed and Uma turned 18. Our parents started worrying about Uma's future. They decided to get Uma married. Atleast five alliances failed due to her disability and our financial status. Only property we had was the house that we lived in. Finally when Uma turned 20 a 35 year old man from Srinagar, Kashmir came to see her. Some how i felt that he is not a good match for Uma. I wished that this man turned down the proposal and leave but he agreed to marry Uma. It was his second marriage and we were to give them a hefty dowry. I told my father that we should wait and find a better alliance for her but he seemed too happy that this man was ready to marry their disabled daughter. I asked Uma if she was happy with this. She said that she has not even dreamt of marriage and anything her elders decide would be for her own good. The house that we lived in was sold and we moved to a rented house. Our father's earnings were not enough to pay the rent and also feed the family. During this time my father asked me if I could start work. I left school and started working as an accountant at a local printing press. Khaleel went ahead to do his medicine, we kept in touch. My life changed from that point on. Uma moved to Shrinagar with her husband, Radha and Vishnu continued to go to school. Few years passed by and Uma came home to deliver her first baby. She seemed very unhappy but I dared not to ask her why. She gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Her husband came to take the her and the baby back to Kashmir. She cried hugging each one of us, when she came to me she hugged me tighter then ever and asked me if I can come and see her in Kashmir. I promised her that I would come to see her. I asked her to write to me after she reached home. A letter came from Uma, it said that everyone said that her family just wanted to get rid of her and nobody ever comes to visit her. I could sense that she was very unhappy. I decided that I should go see her as soon as possible. I replied to Uma that I will visit her that summer. Ram: Faizel do you know where we are headed? Faizel: Don't worry about that, continue to tell me about yourself. Soon after Uma left, our father passed away due to a heart attach. Our mother fell terribly ill. The responsiblities of the whole family moved on to my shoulders. I found a good alliance for Radha. The boy was working at a bank in Delhi. Radha got married and she moved to Delhi. Vishnu, left school and spent most of his time selling movie tickets in black. I used to take our mother to MGM hospital where Dr. Khaleel's was working. Knowing my situation he treated her without expecting any consultation fee from me. With what I earned, I could only afford house rent, groceries and mother's medicines. I wrote back to Uma that I will not be able to visit her until things settle down. Mother was in and out of nursing homes for 8 years. I met a nurse named Padma there. I liked her instantly, I wanted to marry her but I was afraid to start a family and take on more responsibilities at that time. I strated looking for a better job. Yes I had very less education but was better equiped now that I had earned some job experience. Most of all, I could see light at the end of the tunnel, living with Padma. I landed in a better paying job as an accounts Manager at Metro Theater. Eventually mother got better and I married Padma. Now we the proud parents of twin boys In the mean time Vishnu got married to a school teacher named Leela. He was still looking for short cuts to make money. Leela gave birth to a baby girl and few days later Vishnu disappeared from our lives. People said that they saw him take a train bound to Delhi. Mother was waiting for a letter from him for years. We received a letter from Uma asking us if she can visit us for few days. By now our financial condition improved as there were three earning members. I sent a letter letting her know that she can visit us any time. But she did not visit us. Life went on, I could not make a single visit to Uma's house in Shrinagar, Kashmir. Now 10 years after Uma left home, I am going to meet her. I bought her a pair of gold bangles. I came to Srinagar this morning. He slipped his hands into the pockets of his over coat lying next to his seat and showed Faizel a pair of thin gold bangles. I even called her yesterday and she broke into tears her voice was cracking...I can't wait to see her. Ram: I want to give this to her and take her home if she is unhappy there... Faizel: She will be so happy to see you. Faizel: But you didn't tell me how you got those wounds on your face? Ram: Wounds? What wounds? he touched his face and said "I don't know how?" Faizel: By the way, what time is it? my watch seems to be struck at 1:00. Ram: I can't read it, it is not clear...hmm, it looks like it is 2:30 PM.. Faizel looked like he was in deep thought. Faizel: At 1:00PM....now it is 2:30PM....How come??? Ram: What are you thinking about? Tell me what you do Faizel? Faizel: I fight for "Free Kashmir". I come from a wealthy and educated family. My dad is a professor at St. Joseph's college. My only goal is to see Kashmir free. I will do anything to achieve my goal. Today I feel contented. I feel like I have sacrificed my life for my cause. Ram: Faizel, I would say, instead of further dividing this land and fighting for power, it would be better to belong where we are and make our lives better. I feel bad for all the innocent lives that are being lost.... Ram: Do you know where are we going? I want to get out of here. I reached Srinagar at noon and I need to take a rickshaw to Uma's house. Faizel: I will help you get down Ram bhaiya. You need to meet your sister. They got up from their seats. Suddenly they heard a strong calm voice "Faizel, you have sacrificed your life, you are the suicide bomber who killed himself at the market place this afternoon and took this mans life along with yours". By Sharada K Arun, Arlington, MA
Copyright © 2006 Sharada Arun |