The Delivery (1)
R Perez

 







INT. MERRILL’s APARTMENT -- MORNING

6:00am on an ALARM CLOCK. It BUZZES.



In bed, under a black-light poster of Zodiac signs portrayed
as sexual positions, MERRILL opens his eyes.

In the MIRROR ON THE CEILING: MERRILL admires himself, then
gets up, leaving behind a naked, BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

MERRILL
You should hit the bricks.

The woman is starting to regret last night.

IN THE KITCHEN, MERRILL opens the bottle of
Jack Daniels, pours himself a drink

IN THE BEDROOM, the woman sits up, wraps herself in a sheet.
She notices a PICTURE hung crooked on the wall:

A PHOTO OF MERRILL in dress blues, fresh from the police
academy; a MERRILL once clean-cut, crew-cut and untainted.
A MERRILL long dead.



BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
Don't I even get breakfast?

MERRILL looks at her, smiles.

MERRILL
No.

CUT TO:

INT. AUGUSTUS’s HOUSE -- MORNING

6:00 Am. An ALARM CLOCK RINGS. AUGUSTUS already up, an
outsized, scruffy-faced bruiser with mutton chops rivaling
MERRILL's. He's lifting weights, naked, covered in sweat,
smoking a cigarette.

His gun and badge wait in a holster on a chair.

AUGUSTUS drops the barbells, executing kung-fu moves,
poorly. He chops at imaginary foes as he exits. A moment
later, he crosses back with a six-pack of beer...

IN THE BATHROOM, AUGUSTUS gets in the shower, guzzling a
beer. He tosses the empty, turns on the water...

Blasted by the cold spray, AUGUSTUS throws back his head
and lets out a long, loud WAR HOOT.

CUT TO:

INT. JULES'S APARTMENT -- MORNING

ALARM CLOCK. 6:00am again, as the ALARM BUZZES...

In the satin-sheeted bed, a Siamese cat leaps up and rubs
against JULES. JULES rolls over, black and beautiful,
straightens her power Afro. She pets the cat, pushes away
her pillow and picks up her GUN there.

IN THE KITCHEN, JULES puts the gun down and fills a coffee
pot at the sink. The cat circles her ankles, purring.

JULES opens a can of tuna, dumps it on a plate and puts it on
the floor. The cat eats.

JULES opens the refrigerator where a photo of Bruce Lee is
taped to the door. She takes out a coffee jar, revealing a
GUN hidden behind it on the shelf.

In a cabinet, she pushes aside another GUN to get a mug.

JULES sits at a table to wait for water to boil. She picks
thru a box of electronic bits and pieces, tinkering with a
MICRO-TRANSMITTER, using a jeweler's eyepiece. CAMERA MOVES
down... REVEALS a HOLSTER screwed to the underside of table:
another GUN within reach.

IN THE BEDROOM, JULES enters with coffee. She kneels
cross-legged in a bean-bag chair, lights incense, then shuts
her eyes and begins her morning meditation with a low hum.

CUT TO:

INT. MERRILL’s APARTMENT -- MORNING

At a mirror, MERRILL ties his wide tie.
His suit is of the finest, loudest plaid. He straightens
The button on his wide lapel.

EXT. MERRILL’s APARTMENT -- MORNING

MERRILL strides toward garages behind his building, pointing
a remote. One GARAGE DOOR OPENS slowly.

We CANNOT SEE INTO the DARK GARAGE as MERRILL disappears
inside. We HEAR a CAR DOOR. An ENGINE ROARS, RUMBLES,
idling... a throaty GURGLE... till MERRILL pulls out in his
Ford Mustang GT...

A small American flag on the antenna flaps in the breeze.

The Mustang swings onto the street, peeling out...
ZOOM IN: as the Mustang races away.


EXT. H'WOOD STREETS -- MORNING --

MERRILL’s Mustang cruises down Vine past Capital Records.
Traffic's light this early...


EXT. HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD -- MORNING

Kids toss firecrackers in the gutter and watch them pop.
Red, white and blue decorations are everywhere.



JULES walks down the sidewalk in a leather overcoat,
sunglasses and bell-bottoms. Shop-keepers
raising storefront gates greet her. Men crane their necks
to watch her pass, wide-eyed and whistling.

In the street, the Mustang rounds a corner. It pulls to the
curb to meet JULES. An elderly bum leering at JULES as
she climbs in the car.

Bum
Right on, Brown Sugar! How 'bout
taking me with you?

JULES
Where I'm going today, Old Man, you
do not want to go.

As MERRILL pulls away, u-turning...

CUT TO:

EXT. HAMBURGER STAND -- MORNING

Alfresco greasy-spoon. Under one umbrella, AUGUSTUS,
in baggy suit and lollipop-orange aviator sunglasses,
consumes a burger and looks lovey-eyed at his school-girl
girlfriend, who reads a "MATH" text, innocent and petit.

Across the street, MERRILL’s car pulls up, HONKING.
AUGUSTUS motions he'll be along in a minute.

IN THE MUSTANG

JULES's reading "Fear of Flying." MERRILL watches AUGUSTUS.

MERRILL
Look at her and him together. King
Kong and Fay Wray.

JULES glances up, returns to reading.

JULES
Whatever.

AUGUSTUS gives his girl an apple, kisses her. MERRILL lays
on the horn. AUGUSTUS runs over with a cup of take-out
coffee, carrying a newspaper under his arm.

AUGUSTUS
Why do I always have to sit in back?

JULES
It's just the way things are, kiddo.

AUGUSTUS
Well, I would like to sit in front
today.

JULES
It's not gonna happen.

MERRILL
For cryin' out loud, AUGUSTUS, just
get in the car. You're way too big a
target



AUGUSTUS gets in, disgruntled, handing the coffee to JULES
who passes it to MERRILL as the car sets in motion.
AUGUSTUS turns to look out the back, waving goodbye.
MERRILL watches thru the rearview mirror.

MERRILL
How's your precious little
school-girl today?

AUGUSTUS
She's fine, as if you cared.

MERRILL
Tell me something... what's a school
teacher doing having you meet for
breakfast in one of the filthiest
parts of downtown skank-ville? I
mean, this is not the place for fine
dining, unless looking at prostitutes
stimulates your appetite.

AUGUSTUS
Filthy kids go to kindergarten too.
What are you saying, anyhow?

MERRILL
Nothing, I guess. Just an
observation. She's really something
special. You're a lucky fella.

AUGUSTUS
Lay off once, would you?

MERRILL
What'd I say?

AUGUSTUS
It's the way you say it, like there's
something more too it.

MERRILL
You been wearing rubbers, Gus?

AUGUSTUS
Wha??
JULES
Birth control's important.

AUGUSTUS
What... what kinda thing is that to
say?

MERRILL
She's right. If you two are doing
the horizontal polka, the last thing
you want is a thirty-five pound
bundle-of-joy stumbling around,
knocking over furniture and calling
you "daddy."

AUGUSTUS

Fuck-off... it's too early in the morning
for this shit.
(hands up newspaper)
Here's your paper.

MERRILL
What, am I supposed to read it while
I drive? Keep a grip on it, alright?

JULES
(turns to AUGUSTUS)
You know, the more weight back there,
the faster the car goes.

AUGUSTUS
Bullshit.

JULES
You never heard of physics, Einstein?
The laws of physics. The more
ballast we keep closer to the rear
tires...

AUGUSTUS
I'm sittin’ here, aren't I?
Quit the horseshit.

JULES
Oh… okay.



EXT. PORN SHOP/PEEP SHOW -- MORNING

The Mustang comes to halt at a seedy "ADULT BOOK SHOP."
"Live Nude Girls." Our heroes pile out of the car.
AUGUSTUS and JULES head in, but MERRILL stops by a
GEORGE WASHINGTON MANNEQUIN with an inflatable SEX-DOLL in
its arms. A sign above reads "Porn on the Fourth of July!"

MERRILL shoves the mannequin to the ground, then follows...

INT. PORN SHOP, ENTRANCE -- MORNING

AUGUSTUS, JULES and MERRILL move briskly thru. The PORN
DEALER at the counter leaps to his feet, fearful.

PORN DEALER
Hey, hey, hey, MERRILL,I don’t need
no fucking hassle here!

MERRILL pointing, furious
Then, sit your fat, sweaty ass back
down in that chair!

Porn Dealer obeys.

INT. PORN SHOP, PEEP SHOW BOOTHS -- MORNING

AUGUSTUS and MERRILL walk through a beaded curtain into
a dank hall. They split up, opening doors, searching...

MERRILL
(in thru a door)
Pardon me... my mistake. Taking your
thoughts in hand, huh... ?

JULES
(into a booth)
Whoops... don't mind me. Go ahead
and finish up.

INT. PORN SHOP, PEEP BOOTH -- MORNING

A greasy, bespectacled pervert, BENNY, sits in a tiny booth,
sweating in front of a window looking in on a top-less
STRIPPER who gyrates without enthusiasm.

A KNOCK, and MERRILL sticks his head in

MERRILL
Sir, the management would like to
offer a complimentary wet-nap...

Benny turns, mortified.

MERRILL
Hey, Benny! How's it hanging?
Well... you know, don't answer that.

MERRILL WHISTLES down the hall, then enters, friendly.

BENNY
MERRILL….

MERRILL
Where you been hiding, grease-fist?
We've been looking for you.

JULES and AUGUSTUS cram in and shut the door.

MERRILL
You remember JULES and Gus.
(BANGS on window)
Take a break, sweetheart.

The stripper goes to sit in a chair.

BENNY
What do you want? I'm clean. I been
clean a long time.

MERRILL
Really? Is that a fact... ?

MERRILL puts his gun to Benny's forehead, searches Benny's
pockets, finding a bag of powder, which he hands over his
shoulder to JULES. JULES sticks in her pinkie, tastes it.

JULES
Pure horse.

MERRILL
(reholsters gun)
You are such a disappointment, Benny.

JULES sprinkles the powder to the floor

BENNY
Oh, you fuckers! You fucking
assholes! What? What do you want?

MERRILL
Word is, while the vice cops on the
East Coast were standing around
playing pocket pool, 300 kilos of
heroin are getting smuggled here.

JULES
Arriving tonight

BENNY
Look, I know how you guys operate,
but I got a witness...
(points to glass)
I got a witness, so you can't squeeze
me.

The bored stripper smokes a cigarette, and just then a METAL
DOOR SLIDES CLOSED over the window. Peep show's over.

MERRILL
(grins)
Looks like your dime ran out..


MERRILL motions to AUGUSTUS. AUGUSTUS squeezes past, lifts
Benny by the lapels and shakes him violently.

BENNY
Hey now... what the fuck... ?

MERRILL
Again.

AUGUSTUS shakes Benny harder, really rattling him.

AUGUSTUS
Know what he's doing, Benny? He's
trying to jog your memory.

BENNY
I don't know what you're talking
about, man. Even if I did, I'm not
so crazy I'm gonna cross Ted

MERRILL
This shit is enough to keep every
junkie from here to the Mexican
border high as a kite for the next
two years. You think we're gonna let
Ted haul it onto our streets
on the Fourth-of-fucking-July!?

JULES
You must not think we take our
responsibilities very seriously.

AUGUSTUS shakes Benny, and shakes him and shakes him...

MERRILL
Last time AUGUSTUS did this, the
guy's neck broke...
(SNAPS fingers)
... just like that. Sad in a way.
Why is it we don't truly appreciate
our arms and legs till we've lost the
use of them?

BENNY
Alright! Alright... put me down...

AUGUSTUS looks to MERRILL, MERRILL nods. AUGUSTUS puts
Benny down. JULES cozies up, starts combing Benny's hair
over his bald spot, this is creeping him out.

BENNY
It's bone dry out there. Everybody's
hurting. The stuff floating a round’s
been cut so many times it's like
powdered sugar, but Ted
gonna fix it.

MERRILL
I need the "when" and the "where."

BENNY
I don't know, okay? All I know is
TEDs back in town.

JULES
That's not what we heard.

BENNY
He's back, swear to fuckin' God. I
seen him at the needle farm saying
how he's Ted’s number one
candy-man again. If anyone knows
anything, he does.

MERRILL
Alright... we'll take that. But,
start spreading the news...
(pokes Benny's chest)
Ted goes down tonight.

JULES and AUGUSTUS exit. Benny's relieved. MERRILL stops
and tosses a handful of coins on the floor...

MERRILL
Knock yourself out !

MERRILL throws a handkerchief and slams the door.

CUT TO:

EXT. PORN SHOP -- MORNING

AUGUSTUS, JULES and MERRILL get in the Mustang. They drive...

INSIDE THE MUSTANG

MERRILL Sorts thru 8-track tapes on the dash. He puts one
into the player and twists volume.



INSIDE THE MUSTANG

MERRILL looks down, pissed.

MERRILL
What the fuck... ?

He yanks the 8-track cassette. The player spits ragged
tape. It's screwed.

CUT TO:

EXT. SEEDY MOTEL/SUBURBAN STREETS -- MORNING

Mustang's parked. JULES looks through binoculars.

JULES
Come on, Ted... show your pretty
face...

JULES'S . -- THROUGH BINOCULARS

Scanning curtained windows of a shit-hole MOTEL in bleak
suburbs. Various freaks and prostitutes hang out.

JULES
Man-oh-man, this place is one hell of
a sleaze-pad.

IN THE MUSTANG

MERRILL
Just breathing the air in there'll
give you the clap.

MERRILL's still yanking tape from the cassette player,
tossing it out. AUGUSTUS's smoking in back.

AUGUSTUS
You shouldn't litter.

MERRILL
Thank you, concerned citizen.

AUGUSTUS
Give a hoot, don’t pollute.
(Laughing)
MERRILL
I'll give you a fucking hoot if you
don't shut the fuck up back there.

MERRILL turns on the RADIO: Earth Wind and Fire. He pushes another button: “Lets get it on” Marvin Gaye.

MERRILL takes a swig from his pocket flask, snuffs his
cigarette in an overflowing ashtray.


JULES
Don't torture yourself...

She turns the RADIO OFF, hands binoculars to MERRILL and
opens the newspaper. She pulls out a section, tossing it to Gus...

The funny pages. AUGUSTUS starts reading them.

JULES folds the paper over to the "HOROSCOPE."

MERRILL
Why do you bother with that
mumbo-jumbo crap? Some fruitcakes
writing it between bong hits, making
it up as he goes, and you're actually
taking the time to read it. Something’s
wrong with your ass.

JULES
Yeah, non-believer? Here's yours...
(reading)
"Sagittarius Nov 22 to Dec 22”:
Jupiter is in conflict with Saturn,
so proceed with caution..."

MERRILL
Look out! Jupiter and Saturn'll get
you every fucking time.

JULES
"Today you have a rare opportunity to
make a big difference in your chosen
field. By your able leadership and
with great conviction and strength of
character, you will come up a
winner."

MERRILL
Why don’t you be a winner on this.

MERRILL's pleased, looking back thru the binoculars.

AUGUSTUS
What's mine say?

JULES
(reading, to Gus)
"Leo. The stages of the moon are in
alignment, so now is a perfect time
for a vigorous regimen of self
improvement. Wash yourself more
carefully each morning, stop using
doughnuts and cakes as your primary source
of nourishment, and quit tucking your
shirttails inside your underwear."

AUGUSTUS
It doesn’t fuckin say that!

JULES
No, but it should.


MERRILL looks back through binoculars.

AT THE SEEDY MOTEL

A hairy Man in only shorts gets a paper from a coin box. On
a balcony, a door opens... someone's coming out...

ZOOM IN: on TED, a sorry-looking transvestite
hustler in blonde wig, smeared lipstick and cowboy hat.

MERRILL (o.s.)
TED rides again.

IN THE MUSTANG

MERRILL lowers binoculars. AUGUSTUS sits forward.

AUGUSTUS
That's him alright.

JULES
It's go time, Gus.

AUGUSTUS climbs out, brings a GOLF CLUB as a weapon.

MERRILL
Escort everyone's favorite She-Male
over here nice and peaceful-like.
Let's not have another incident like
at the Laundromat. I'll never forget
the look on that poor woman's face.

AUGUSTUS
That wasn't my fault.

MERRILL
Save it. Just go.

ON THE STREET

AUGUSTUS treks toward the motel.

Up the block, TED greets other hookers in front of
the motel, slaps "five."

AUGUSTUS crosses the street, hides the club behind him.
Ahead, a customized van with a Spiderman mural painted on
the side pulls up, stops across the street from the motel.

IN THE MUSTANG

MERRILL frowns.

ON THE STREET

AUGUSTUS picks up the pace. Ahead, TED seems to
notice him, tries to act casual, heading to the street.

IN THE MUSTANG

MERRILL
(under his breath)
Don't let him get to the van.

ON THE STREET

TED is going towards the van. AUGUSTUS starts
run-walking, far from inconspicuous.

IN THE MUSTANG

MERRILL grips the steering wheel.

MERRILL
Don't let him get to the van.

ON THE STREET

TED looks to AUGUSTUS, runs. AUGUSTUS sprints.

IN THE MUSTANG

MERRILL leans out, shouting.

MERRILL
Don't let him get to the fucking van!

ON THE STREET

TED jumps in the van as it does a screaming
u-turn. AUGUSTUS throws his golf club in frustration.

MERRILL starts the Mustang and peels out just as the van rages
past in the other direction.

AUGUSTUS runs back. The Mustang heads towards him, spins...
JULES throws open the door...

IN THE MUSTANG

JULES
Smooth move, hot-shot.

AUGUSTUS
What was I supposed to do?

MERRILL
Lose some weight.

ON THE STREET

The Mustang roars forward. The van's got a good lead.

IN THE MUSTANG

MERRILL hits the SIREN. JULES mounts the spinning DOME LIGHT.
In back, AUGUSTUS grips half his seatbelt.

AUGUSTUS
I... I can't find my seatbelt.

MERRILL
What the fuck you want me to do about it?

ON THE STREET

The van zooms through an intersection, dipping hard. A few
beats later, the Mustang follows, bouncing...

IN THE MUSTANG

AUGUSTUS's head SLAMS roof. He yelps, gripping his skull.

ON THE STREET


The van burns a 4-way stop. A VW Bug starts to cross...

IN THE MUSTANG

AUGUSTUS's looking down as he fastens his seatbelt.
JULES points at the VW...

JULES
Look out!

MERRILL hits brakes...

ON THE STREET

The Mustang stops, inches from the Bug.

IN THE MUSTANG

AUGUSTUS lurches, hitting his face on the seat in front of
him and rebounding. He clutches his forehead.

AUGUSTUS
Stop that!

MERRILL pounds the horn. JULES's yelling. The Bug moves.

JULES
Go, go, go!

MERRILL zooms around.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET, FURTHER ON -- CHASE CONTINUES

The van takes a corner, careening off a parked car...

The van races on. However, ahead...

A car backs out of a driveway, blocking the street.

The van brakes hard, throwing smoke, HORN BLARING.

Behind, the Mustang rounds the corner...

IN THE MUSTANG

MERRILL
We got him.

JULES
Slow down.

MERRILL
"Go, go, go!" "Slow down." Make up
your mind.

JULES
Don't crowd him.

ON THE STREET

The Mustang closes in. The van's rear doors open...

a tie-dyed HIPPY in the van leveling a SHOTGUN...

In the Mustang, MERRILL, JULES and AUGUSTUS see him...

MERRILL
Down!

MERRILL, JULES and AUGUSTUS duck as the Mustang brakes.

The hippy BLASTS...

A hole EXPLODES in the Mustang's windshield.

The Mustang stops. MERRILL, JULES and AUGUSTUS sit up.

JULES
Hate to say I told you so.

The van's reverse lights come on, tires spinning...

MERRILL reacts, puts the Mustang in reverse...

The van picks up speed, doors jerking closed, chasing the
Mustang backwards down the block...

JULES kicks hard -- jettisons the ruined windshield.

INSIDE THE VAN

The VAN DRIVER uses the side rearview to see. TED
, in the passenger seat, looks to the back where the
Hippy's kneeled on a WATERBED and reloading.

TED
What the fuck you doin'? They're
pigs! You can't kill no vice cops!

HIPPY
Watch me.

ON THE STREET

MERRILL's going full speed reverse. JULES FIRES her gun into
the back of the van.

Other cars brake as the Mustang rockets backwards thru an
intersection. The van arrives similarly, sliding...

The van burns rubber, chooses another street, forward.

IN THE MUSTANG

JULES reloads. MERRILL shifts gear,
blasting onwards to follow.

MERRILL
FUCKING ASSHOLES !!!

AUGUSTUS
We catch 'em, I wanna be first to
hurt 'em. Promise me I get to go
first.

MERRILL
We'll share.

CUT TO:

EXT. CANYON ROADWAY

The van hits the roads airborne

The Mustang follows, flying... bottoming out.

The road twists radically. MERRILL brings the Mustang
close... nudges the van's rear.

The van SCRAPES guardrail, throws sparks, straightens.

IN THE MUSTANG

Wind whips thru the car. JULES gets onto the hood, halfway
out, biting her lip and aiming two guns,

MERRILL
Hold the fuck up. We need
TED alive, remember?

JULES
Shit. You're right.

JULES considers, disappointed.

MERRILL
If they crash, maybe he'll run. You
can shoot him in the leg or
something.

JULES
Let's hope.

ON CANYON ROAD

The van and Mustang barrel downhill, barely controlled.
Opposing traffic zips past.

MERRILL rams from behind again. The van's doors open...

The Hippy tries to aim, shifting to and fro.
The Mustang backs off.

INSIDE THE VAN

TED gets out of his seat, moves back...

TED
You crazy fucking junkie!

TED KICKS the Hippy from behind...

ON CANYON ROAD

The Hippy hits the street, rolls...
Screaming as...

The Mustang's grillwork rushes to meet him.

INSIDE THE MUSTANG

The car BOUNCES -- BUMPITY-THUD -- as the Hippy is crushed.

AUGUSTUS looks back as the body disappears around a bend,

AUGUSTUS
Ouch.

AUGUSTUS unhooks the POLICE RADIO microphone beside him.

AUGUSTUS
(into mic)
Central, car 1-5-5 requests an
ambulance
(looks back)
Uh... ambulance emergency at Canyon
Boulevard and...

He tries to spot a cross street.

AUGUSTUS
(into mic, at a loss)
Um... we're on Canyon where it's
really... twisty turny

ON CANYON ROAD

FOLLOW the van and Mustang. The road's curves are extreme.
It's all the Mustang can do to stay close.

Taking a turn wide, the van DECIMATES mailboxes.

The Mustang follows through fluttering letters.

IN THE MUSTANG

AUGUSTUS
That's a federal offense right there;
tampering with the U.S mail!


MERRILL
I'm gonna get beside him.

JULES
No you're not.

AUGUSTUS
That's a bad plan.

MERRILL loosens his tie.

MERRILL
I'm gonna get beside. JULES, you're
gonna shoot out his tires.

JULES
No, we are NOT going to do that.

MERRILL accelerates. ENGINE ROARS...

ON CANYON ROAD

The Mustang inches into the opposite lane, is forced to
retreat because of oncoming traffic.

The Mustang tries again, but a pick-up truck's coming...

Misses by inches, side mirror SMASHED! MERRILL recoils.

IN THE MUSTANG

MERRILL
(determined)
I can work this.

AUGUSTUS
No you can't.

MERRILL
Get ready.

JULES
I hate you.

ON CANYON ROAD

Brief straightaway. MERRILL speeds up...

The Mustang comes along the van's left side...

JULES puts her guns out, aiming for tire...

AHEAD: a motorcycle speeding straight at the Mustang!

IN THE MUSTANG

MERRILL's eyes widen.

JULES sees the cycle.

MERRILL jerks the wheel left.

JULES pulls her arms in just as...

ON CANYON ROAD

The motorcycle somehow fits between the van and Mustang.

The Mustang returns to its proper lane behind the van.

IN THE MUSTANG

JULES looks at MERRILL, seething. MERRILL won't look at her.

JULES
You…Fuckin Asshole! You almost got us all
killed!

MERRILL
You think this is so Fucking easy?

JULES
Can't be worse than you.

MERRILL
Oh yeah?

JULES
That's right, white bread. Give it
up. Right now.

MERRILL
Okay, okay... hold on. Don't go
getting your panties in a knot...

Merrill peers forward, THRU WINDSHIELD: pretty straight road.

MERRILL
Make a hole, Gus.

AUGUSTUS
I'd rather you guys didn't do this
again.

 

 

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Copyright © 2005 R Perez
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