The Delivery (1)
INT. MERRILL’s APARTMENT -- MORNING 6:00am on an ALARM CLOCK. It BUZZES. In bed, under a black-light poster of Zodiac signs portrayed as sexual positions, MERRILL opens his eyes. In the MIRROR ON THE CEILING: MERRILL admires himself, then gets up, leaving behind a naked, BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. MERRILL You should hit the bricks. The woman is starting to regret last night. IN THE KITCHEN, MERRILL opens the bottle of Jack Daniels, pours himself a drink IN THE BEDROOM, the woman sits up, wraps herself in a sheet. She notices a PICTURE hung crooked on the wall: A PHOTO OF MERRILL in dress blues, fresh from the police academy; a MERRILL once clean-cut, crew-cut and untainted. A MERRILL long dead. BEAUTIFUL WOMAN Don't I even get breakfast? MERRILL looks at her, smiles. MERRILL No. CUT TO: INT. AUGUSTUS’s HOUSE -- MORNING 6:00 Am. An ALARM CLOCK RINGS. AUGUSTUS already up, an outsized, scruffy-faced bruiser with mutton chops rivaling MERRILL's. He's lifting weights, naked, covered in sweat, smoking a cigarette. His gun and badge wait in a holster on a chair. AUGUSTUS drops the barbells, executing kung-fu moves, poorly. He chops at imaginary foes as he exits. A moment later, he crosses back with a six-pack of beer... IN THE BATHROOM, AUGUSTUS gets in the shower, guzzling a beer. He tosses the empty, turns on the water... Blasted by the cold spray, AUGUSTUS throws back his head and lets out a long, loud WAR HOOT. CUT TO: INT. JULES'S APARTMENT -- MORNING ALARM CLOCK. 6:00am again, as the ALARM BUZZES... In the satin-sheeted bed, a Siamese cat leaps up and rubs against JULES. JULES rolls over, black and beautiful, straightens her power Afro. She pets the cat, pushes away her pillow and picks up her GUN there. IN THE KITCHEN, JULES puts the gun down and fills a coffee pot at the sink. The cat circles her ankles, purring. JULES opens a can of tuna, dumps it on a plate and puts it on the floor. The cat eats. JULES opens the refrigerator where a photo of Bruce Lee is taped to the door. She takes out a coffee jar, revealing a GUN hidden behind it on the shelf. In a cabinet, she pushes aside another GUN to get a mug. JULES sits at a table to wait for water to boil. She picks thru a box of electronic bits and pieces, tinkering with a MICRO-TRANSMITTER, using a jeweler's eyepiece. CAMERA MOVES down... REVEALS a HOLSTER screwed to the underside of table: another GUN within reach. IN THE BEDROOM, JULES enters with coffee. She kneels cross-legged in a bean-bag chair, lights incense, then shuts her eyes and begins her morning meditation with a low hum. CUT TO: INT. MERRILL’s APARTMENT -- MORNING At a mirror, MERRILL ties his wide tie. His suit is of the finest, loudest plaid. He straightens The button on his wide lapel. EXT. MERRILL’s APARTMENT -- MORNING MERRILL strides toward garages behind his building, pointing a remote. One GARAGE DOOR OPENS slowly. We CANNOT SEE INTO the DARK GARAGE as MERRILL disappears inside. We HEAR a CAR DOOR. An ENGINE ROARS, RUMBLES, idling... a throaty GURGLE... till MERRILL pulls out in his Ford Mustang GT... A small American flag on the antenna flaps in the breeze. The Mustang swings onto the street, peeling out... ZOOM IN: as the Mustang races away. EXT. H'WOOD STREETS -- MORNING -- MERRILL’s Mustang cruises down Vine past Capital Records. Traffic's light this early... EXT. HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD -- MORNING Kids toss firecrackers in the gutter and watch them pop. Red, white and blue decorations are everywhere. JULES walks down the sidewalk in a leather overcoat, sunglasses and bell-bottoms. Shop-keepers raising storefront gates greet her. Men crane their necks to watch her pass, wide-eyed and whistling. In the street, the Mustang rounds a corner. It pulls to the curb to meet JULES. An elderly bum leering at JULES as she climbs in the car. Bum Right on, Brown Sugar! How 'bout taking me with you? JULES Where I'm going today, Old Man, you do not want to go. As MERRILL pulls away, u-turning... CUT TO: EXT. HAMBURGER STAND -- MORNING Alfresco greasy-spoon. Under one umbrella, AUGUSTUS, in baggy suit and lollipop-orange aviator sunglasses, consumes a burger and looks lovey-eyed at his school-girl girlfriend, who reads a "MATH" text, innocent and petit. Across the street, MERRILL’s car pulls up, HONKING. AUGUSTUS motions he'll be along in a minute. IN THE MUSTANG JULES's reading "Fear of Flying." MERRILL watches AUGUSTUS. MERRILL Look at her and him together. King Kong and Fay Wray. JULES glances up, returns to reading. JULES Whatever. AUGUSTUS gives his girl an apple, kisses her. MERRILL lays on the horn. AUGUSTUS runs over with a cup of take-out coffee, carrying a newspaper under his arm. AUGUSTUS Why do I always have to sit in back? JULES It's just the way things are, kiddo. AUGUSTUS Well, I would like to sit in front today. JULES It's not gonna happen. MERRILL For cryin' out loud, AUGUSTUS, just get in the car. You're way too big a target AUGUSTUS gets in, disgruntled, handing the coffee to JULES who passes it to MERRILL as the car sets in motion. AUGUSTUS turns to look out the back, waving goodbye. MERRILL watches thru the rearview mirror. MERRILL How's your precious little school-girl today? AUGUSTUS She's fine, as if you cared. MERRILL Tell me something... what's a school teacher doing having you meet for breakfast in one of the filthiest parts of downtown skank-ville? I mean, this is not the place for fine dining, unless looking at prostitutes stimulates your appetite. AUGUSTUS Filthy kids go to kindergarten too. What are you saying, anyhow? MERRILL Nothing, I guess. Just an observation. She's really something special. You're a lucky fella. AUGUSTUS Lay off once, would you? MERRILL What'd I say? AUGUSTUS It's the way you say it, like there's something more too it. MERRILL You been wearing rubbers, Gus? AUGUSTUS Wha?? JULES Birth control's important. AUGUSTUS What... what kinda thing is that to say? MERRILL She's right. If you two are doing the horizontal polka, the last thing you want is a thirty-five pound bundle-of-joy stumbling around, knocking over furniture and calling you "daddy." AUGUSTUS Fuck-off... it's too early in the morning for this shit. (hands up newspaper) Here's your paper. MERRILL What, am I supposed to read it while I drive? Keep a grip on it, alright? JULES (turns to AUGUSTUS) You know, the more weight back there, the faster the car goes. AUGUSTUS Bullshit. JULES You never heard of physics, Einstein? The laws of physics. The more ballast we keep closer to the rear tires... AUGUSTUS I'm sittin’ here, aren't I? Quit the horseshit. JULES Oh… okay. EXT. PORN SHOP/PEEP SHOW -- MORNING The Mustang comes to halt at a seedy "ADULT BOOK SHOP." "Live Nude Girls." Our heroes pile out of the car. AUGUSTUS and JULES head in, but MERRILL stops by a GEORGE WASHINGTON MANNEQUIN with an inflatable SEX-DOLL in its arms. A sign above reads "Porn on the Fourth of July!" MERRILL shoves the mannequin to the ground, then follows... INT. PORN SHOP, ENTRANCE -- MORNING AUGUSTUS, JULES and MERRILL move briskly thru. The PORN DEALER at the counter leaps to his feet, fearful. PORN DEALER Hey, hey, hey, MERRILL,I don’t need no fucking hassle here! MERRILL pointing, furious Then, sit your fat, sweaty ass back down in that chair! Porn Dealer obeys. INT. PORN SHOP, PEEP SHOW BOOTHS -- MORNING AUGUSTUS and MERRILL walk through a beaded curtain into a dank hall. They split up, opening doors, searching... MERRILL (in thru a door) Pardon me... my mistake. Taking your thoughts in hand, huh... ? JULES (into a booth) Whoops... don't mind me. Go ahead and finish up. INT. PORN SHOP, PEEP BOOTH -- MORNING A greasy, bespectacled pervert, BENNY, sits in a tiny booth, sweating in front of a window looking in on a top-less STRIPPER who gyrates without enthusiasm. A KNOCK, and MERRILL sticks his head in MERRILL Sir, the management would like to offer a complimentary wet-nap... Benny turns, mortified. MERRILL Hey, Benny! How's it hanging? Well... you know, don't answer that. MERRILL WHISTLES down the hall, then enters, friendly. BENNY MERRILL…. MERRILL Where you been hiding, grease-fist? We've been looking for you. JULES and AUGUSTUS cram in and shut the door. MERRILL You remember JULES and Gus. (BANGS on window) Take a break, sweetheart. The stripper goes to sit in a chair. BENNY What do you want? I'm clean. I been clean a long time. MERRILL Really? Is that a fact... ? MERRILL puts his gun to Benny's forehead, searches Benny's pockets, finding a bag of powder, which he hands over his shoulder to JULES. JULES sticks in her pinkie, tastes it. JULES Pure horse. MERRILL (reholsters gun) You are such a disappointment, Benny. JULES sprinkles the powder to the floor BENNY Oh, you fuckers! You fucking assholes! What? What do you want? MERRILL Word is, while the vice cops on the East Coast were standing around playing pocket pool, 300 kilos of heroin are getting smuggled here. JULES Arriving tonight BENNY Look, I know how you guys operate, but I got a witness... (points to glass) I got a witness, so you can't squeeze me. The bored stripper smokes a cigarette, and just then a METAL DOOR SLIDES CLOSED over the window. Peep show's over. MERRILL (grins) Looks like your dime ran out.. MERRILL motions to AUGUSTUS. AUGUSTUS squeezes past, lifts Benny by the lapels and shakes him violently. BENNY Hey now... what the fuck... ? MERRILL Again. AUGUSTUS shakes Benny harder, really rattling him. AUGUSTUS Know what he's doing, Benny? He's trying to jog your memory. BENNY I don't know what you're talking about, man. Even if I did, I'm not so crazy I'm gonna cross Ted MERRILL This shit is enough to keep every junkie from here to the Mexican border high as a kite for the next two years. You think we're gonna let Ted haul it onto our streets on the Fourth-of-fucking-July!? JULES You must not think we take our responsibilities very seriously. AUGUSTUS shakes Benny, and shakes him and shakes him... MERRILL Last time AUGUSTUS did this, the guy's neck broke... (SNAPS fingers) ... just like that. Sad in a way. Why is it we don't truly appreciate our arms and legs till we've lost the use of them? BENNY Alright! Alright... put me down... AUGUSTUS looks to MERRILL, MERRILL nods. AUGUSTUS puts Benny down. JULES cozies up, starts combing Benny's hair over his bald spot, this is creeping him out. BENNY It's bone dry out there. Everybody's hurting. The stuff floating a round’s been cut so many times it's like powdered sugar, but Ted gonna fix it. MERRILL I need the "when" and the "where." BENNY I don't know, okay? All I know is TEDs back in town. JULES That's not what we heard. BENNY He's back, swear to fuckin' God. I seen him at the needle farm saying how he's Ted’s number one candy-man again. If anyone knows anything, he does. MERRILL Alright... we'll take that. But, start spreading the news... (pokes Benny's chest) Ted goes down tonight. JULES and AUGUSTUS exit. Benny's relieved. MERRILL stops and tosses a handful of coins on the floor... MERRILL Knock yourself out ! MERRILL throws a handkerchief and slams the door. CUT TO: EXT. PORN SHOP -- MORNING AUGUSTUS, JULES and MERRILL get in the Mustang. They drive... INSIDE THE MUSTANG MERRILL Sorts thru 8-track tapes on the dash. He puts one into the player and twists volume. INSIDE THE MUSTANG MERRILL looks down, pissed. MERRILL What the fuck... ? He yanks the 8-track cassette. The player spits ragged tape. It's screwed. CUT TO: EXT. SEEDY MOTEL/SUBURBAN STREETS -- MORNING Mustang's parked. JULES looks through binoculars. JULES Come on, Ted... show your pretty face... JULES'S . -- THROUGH BINOCULARS Scanning curtained windows of a shit-hole MOTEL in bleak suburbs. Various freaks and prostitutes hang out. JULES Man-oh-man, this place is one hell of a sleaze-pad. IN THE MUSTANG MERRILL Just breathing the air in there'll give you the clap. MERRILL's still yanking tape from the cassette player, tossing it out. AUGUSTUS's smoking in back. AUGUSTUS You shouldn't litter. MERRILL Thank you, concerned citizen. AUGUSTUS Give a hoot, don’t pollute. (Laughing) MERRILL I'll give you a fucking hoot if you don't shut the fuck up back there. MERRILL turns on the RADIO: Earth Wind and Fire. He pushes another button: “Lets get it on” Marvin Gaye. MERRILL takes a swig from his pocket flask, snuffs his cigarette in an overflowing ashtray. JULES Don't torture yourself... She turns the RADIO OFF, hands binoculars to MERRILL and opens the newspaper. She pulls out a section, tossing it to Gus... The funny pages. AUGUSTUS starts reading them. JULES folds the paper over to the "HOROSCOPE." MERRILL Why do you bother with that mumbo-jumbo crap? Some fruitcakes writing it between bong hits, making it up as he goes, and you're actually taking the time to read it. Something’s wrong with your ass. JULES Yeah, non-believer? Here's yours... (reading) "Sagittarius Nov 22 to Dec 22”: Jupiter is in conflict with Saturn, so proceed with caution..." MERRILL Look out! Jupiter and Saturn'll get you every fucking time. JULES "Today you have a rare opportunity to make a big difference in your chosen field. By your able leadership and with great conviction and strength of character, you will come up a winner." MERRILL Why don’t you be a winner on this. MERRILL's pleased, looking back thru the binoculars. AUGUSTUS What's mine say? JULES (reading, to Gus) "Leo. The stages of the moon are in alignment, so now is a perfect time for a vigorous regimen of self improvement. Wash yourself more carefully each morning, stop using doughnuts and cakes as your primary source of nourishment, and quit tucking your shirttails inside your underwear." AUGUSTUS It doesn’t fuckin say that! JULES No, but it should. MERRILL looks back through binoculars. AT THE SEEDY MOTEL A hairy Man in only shorts gets a paper from a coin box. On a balcony, a door opens... someone's coming out... ZOOM IN: on TED, a sorry-looking transvestite hustler in blonde wig, smeared lipstick and cowboy hat. MERRILL (o.s.) TED rides again. IN THE MUSTANG MERRILL lowers binoculars. AUGUSTUS sits forward. AUGUSTUS That's him alright. JULES It's go time, Gus. AUGUSTUS climbs out, brings a GOLF CLUB as a weapon. MERRILL Escort everyone's favorite She-Male over here nice and peaceful-like. Let's not have another incident like at the Laundromat. I'll never forget the look on that poor woman's face. AUGUSTUS That wasn't my fault. MERRILL Save it. Just go. ON THE STREET AUGUSTUS treks toward the motel. Up the block, TED greets other hookers in front of the motel, slaps "five." AUGUSTUS crosses the street, hides the club behind him. Ahead, a customized van with a Spiderman mural painted on the side pulls up, stops across the street from the motel. IN THE MUSTANG MERRILL frowns. ON THE STREET AUGUSTUS picks up the pace. Ahead, TED seems to notice him, tries to act casual, heading to the street. IN THE MUSTANG MERRILL (under his breath) Don't let him get to the van. ON THE STREET TED is going towards the van. AUGUSTUS starts run-walking, far from inconspicuous. IN THE MUSTANG MERRILL grips the steering wheel. MERRILL Don't let him get to the van. ON THE STREET TED looks to AUGUSTUS, runs. AUGUSTUS sprints. IN THE MUSTANG MERRILL leans out, shouting. MERRILL Don't let him get to the fucking van! ON THE STREET TED jumps in the van as it does a screaming u-turn. AUGUSTUS throws his golf club in frustration. MERRILL starts the Mustang and peels out just as the van rages past in the other direction. AUGUSTUS runs back. The Mustang heads towards him, spins... JULES throws open the door... IN THE MUSTANG JULES Smooth move, hot-shot. AUGUSTUS What was I supposed to do? MERRILL Lose some weight. ON THE STREET The Mustang roars forward. The van's got a good lead. IN THE MUSTANG MERRILL hits the SIREN. JULES mounts the spinning DOME LIGHT. In back, AUGUSTUS grips half his seatbelt. AUGUSTUS I... I can't find my seatbelt. MERRILL What the fuck you want me to do about it? ON THE STREET The van zooms through an intersection, dipping hard. A few beats later, the Mustang follows, bouncing... IN THE MUSTANG AUGUSTUS's head SLAMS roof. He yelps, gripping his skull. ON THE STREET The van burns a 4-way stop. A VW Bug starts to cross... IN THE MUSTANG AUGUSTUS's looking down as he fastens his seatbelt. JULES points at the VW... JULES Look out! MERRILL hits brakes... ON THE STREET The Mustang stops, inches from the Bug. IN THE MUSTANG AUGUSTUS lurches, hitting his face on the seat in front of him and rebounding. He clutches his forehead. AUGUSTUS Stop that! MERRILL pounds the horn. JULES's yelling. The Bug moves. JULES Go, go, go! MERRILL zooms around. CUT TO: EXT. SUBURBAN STREET, FURTHER ON -- CHASE CONTINUES The van takes a corner, careening off a parked car... The van races on. However, ahead... A car backs out of a driveway, blocking the street. The van brakes hard, throwing smoke, HORN BLARING. Behind, the Mustang rounds the corner... IN THE MUSTANG MERRILL We got him. JULES Slow down. MERRILL "Go, go, go!" "Slow down." Make up your mind. JULES Don't crowd him. ON THE STREET The Mustang closes in. The van's rear doors open... a tie-dyed HIPPY in the van leveling a SHOTGUN... In the Mustang, MERRILL, JULES and AUGUSTUS see him... MERRILL Down! MERRILL, JULES and AUGUSTUS duck as the Mustang brakes. The hippy BLASTS... A hole EXPLODES in the Mustang's windshield. The Mustang stops. MERRILL, JULES and AUGUSTUS sit up. JULES Hate to say I told you so. The van's reverse lights come on, tires spinning... MERRILL reacts, puts the Mustang in reverse... The van picks up speed, doors jerking closed, chasing the Mustang backwards down the block... JULES kicks hard -- jettisons the ruined windshield. INSIDE THE VAN The VAN DRIVER uses the side rearview to see. TED , in the passenger seat, looks to the back where the Hippy's kneeled on a WATERBED and reloading. TED What the fuck you doin'? They're pigs! You can't kill no vice cops! HIPPY Watch me. ON THE STREET MERRILL's going full speed reverse. JULES FIRES her gun into the back of the van. Other cars brake as the Mustang rockets backwards thru an intersection. The van arrives similarly, sliding... The van burns rubber, chooses another street, forward. IN THE MUSTANG JULES reloads. MERRILL shifts gear, blasting onwards to follow. MERRILL FUCKING ASSHOLES !!! AUGUSTUS We catch 'em, I wanna be first to hurt 'em. Promise me I get to go first. MERRILL We'll share. CUT TO: EXT. CANYON ROADWAY The van hits the roads airborne The Mustang follows, flying... bottoming out. The road twists radically. MERRILL brings the Mustang close... nudges the van's rear. The van SCRAPES guardrail, throws sparks, straightens. IN THE MUSTANG Wind whips thru the car. JULES gets onto the hood, halfway out, biting her lip and aiming two guns, MERRILL Hold the fuck up. We need TED alive, remember? JULES Shit. You're right. JULES considers, disappointed. MERRILL If they crash, maybe he'll run. You can shoot him in the leg or something. JULES Let's hope. ON CANYON ROAD The van and Mustang barrel downhill, barely controlled. Opposing traffic zips past. MERRILL rams from behind again. The van's doors open... The Hippy tries to aim, shifting to and fro. The Mustang backs off. INSIDE THE VAN TED gets out of his seat, moves back... TED You crazy fucking junkie! TED KICKS the Hippy from behind... ON CANYON ROAD The Hippy hits the street, rolls... Screaming as... The Mustang's grillwork rushes to meet him. INSIDE THE MUSTANG The car BOUNCES -- BUMPITY-THUD -- as the Hippy is crushed. AUGUSTUS looks back as the body disappears around a bend, AUGUSTUS Ouch. AUGUSTUS unhooks the POLICE RADIO microphone beside him. AUGUSTUS (into mic) Central, car 1-5-5 requests an ambulance (looks back) Uh... ambulance emergency at Canyon Boulevard and... He tries to spot a cross street. AUGUSTUS (into mic, at a loss) Um... we're on Canyon where it's really... twisty turny ON CANYON ROAD FOLLOW the van and Mustang. The road's curves are extreme. It's all the Mustang can do to stay close. Taking a turn wide, the van DECIMATES mailboxes. The Mustang follows through fluttering letters. IN THE MUSTANG AUGUSTUS That's a federal offense right there; tampering with the U.S mail! MERRILL I'm gonna get beside him. JULES No you're not. AUGUSTUS That's a bad plan. MERRILL loosens his tie. MERRILL I'm gonna get beside. JULES, you're gonna shoot out his tires. JULES No, we are NOT going to do that. MERRILL accelerates. ENGINE ROARS... ON CANYON ROAD The Mustang inches into the opposite lane, is forced to retreat because of oncoming traffic. The Mustang tries again, but a pick-up truck's coming... Misses by inches, side mirror SMASHED! MERRILL recoils. IN THE MUSTANG MERRILL (determined) I can work this. AUGUSTUS No you can't. MERRILL Get ready. JULES I hate you. ON CANYON ROAD Brief straightaway. MERRILL speeds up... The Mustang comes along the van's left side... JULES puts her guns out, aiming for tire... AHEAD: a motorcycle speeding straight at the Mustang! IN THE MUSTANG MERRILL's eyes widen. JULES sees the cycle. MERRILL jerks the wheel left. JULES pulls her arms in just as... ON CANYON ROAD The motorcycle somehow fits between the van and Mustang. The Mustang returns to its proper lane behind the van. IN THE MUSTANG JULES looks at MERRILL, seething. MERRILL won't look at her. JULES You…Fuckin Asshole! You almost got us all killed! MERRILL You think this is so Fucking easy? JULES Can't be worse than you. MERRILL Oh yeah? JULES That's right, white bread. Give it up. Right now. MERRILL Okay, okay... hold on. Don't go getting your panties in a knot... Merrill peers forward, THRU WINDSHIELD: pretty straight road. MERRILL Make a hole, Gus. AUGUSTUS I'd rather you guys didn't do this again.
Copyright © 2005 R Perez |