INT. BARE STAGE
Once upon a time, there was a baby
girl, named Rapunzel. She was
Lights up on a baby carriage. A magical sound.
Her hair had magical healing
powers. It can make you live
forever, yadda yadda yadda...
Anyways, her mom and dad wanted her
magic for themselves.
MOTHER and FATHER stand on either side of the baby carriage,
pantomiming an argument.
One night, while her father was
sleeping, her mother took Rapunzel
for herself and ran off.
Lights up on a giant tower.
To keep people from finding them,
she hid Rapunzel away in a giant
tower. Discreet, right?
MOTHER pokes head out of window, holding baby, and looks
For her entire life, Rapunzel's
mother never let her leave the
RAPUNZEL steps into window, looks around.
Hold on, there's more. Rapunzel's
dad hadn't forgotten about her
either. He spent every day and
every night searching for her.
After finally finding out where she
was hidden, he called upon the help
of one dashing, brave, handsome,
heroic, muscular, suave, charming
FLYNN enters during slew of adjectives.
See that guy? That's me! Aren't I
FLYNN turns to audience and makes gesture. GOOBER enters, and
trips, and FLYNN makes embarrassed gesture.
Oh, and that's Goober.
GOOBER regains posture.
He's a bit clumsy, a bit... Not all
there. He's not ugly, but he's
nowhere near as good looking as
me... Or charming. Heh.
GOOBER makes offended gestures.
Do you really think that?
Anyways, back to the story. This
guy, who never told us his name,
hired us to kidnap this Rapunzel
chick. Now this, this is where
things got interesting...
Both are tired. GOOBER more so than FLYNN.
Alright, so where are we?
GOOBER pulls out the map.
Well, it says there should be a
tower right in front of us!
I don't see it. Are you sure you're
reading it right?
I'm positive! NORTH WEST SOUTH
Great, now we're lost in a forest!
FLYNN grabs the map, and turns it upside down. He then
flashes a dirty look at GOOBER. FLYNN and GOOBER make their
way to the tower's base. They then head towards the tower
So... What do we do?
We have to find a way in.
I don't see how.
LANCE starts climbing. GOOBER wipes away vines to reveal a
sign that says, "DON'T CLIMB THIS TOWER."
Wait, Lance! Hello?
Uh... What should I do?
Wait until I tell you it's clear!
Lights down as FLYNN starts to climb.
INT. RAPUNZEL'S ROOM
RAPUNZEL is finishing dusting the various furniture in her
room. She is humming a tune. RAPUNZEL pulls out a scrap of
Did the dishes. Cleaned my room.
Swept the floors. Dusted
EVERYTHING... What else could I do?
(With a laugh)
Maybe a foot massage?
Oh, I'm just kidding dear.
MOTHER lets out a soft cackle.
Oh dear, I am so witty!
MOTHER looks at her self in the mirror.
RAPUNZEL steps aside for a moment.
I'm gonna tell her. I'm gonna ask.
No matter what the answer, I'm
RAPUNZEL turns to MOTHER, who is still looking at herself in
I've been thinking...
What is it?
I'm almost 17, and I think I'm old
enough to leave the tower.
I've been reading about the city,
and it sounds so wonderful! All of
the people, all the food!
Please! There are so many amazing
things I could do! So much to
learn, so much to see!
I said no, Rapunzel!
I can handle myself out there,
Mother! I'm tougher than you think!
Look at you, you're clumsy! You'll
bruise easier than a peach! You're
I am not!
(Gesturing to the floor)
You missed a spot!
That's not fair, Mother!
Life's not fair.
Not another word!
RAPUNZEL lets out an exasperated sigh.
I'm going back to bed.
You are never leaving this tower,
MOTHER begins to leave, then turns back.
I do this because I love you.
(With a sigh)
I just wanted to go see the city at
least once... I wish someone could
just take me there...
Thud from backstage. RAPUNZEL squeals and hides.
Okay, Goober! Come on up!
LANCE enters room. He pulls out picture of RAPUNZEL. He
searches throughout the room. She pops out with a pan.
... Hi there.
RAPUNZEL swings pan.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
FIGHT ensues. Ends with RAPUNZEL repeatedly hitting LANCE
with the pan behind the couch. She drags his unconscious body
to a chair. She then ties him to the chair with rope. She
takes a moment to look him over.
He's kinda cute.
You're not so bad yourself.
RAPUNZEL shrieks and smacks him with the pan again.
Who are you, and what are you doing
I'm Flynn Rider. I'm an adventurer.
I've seen every corner of the
world. Tasted every flavor of
doritos. Caught all the pokemon.
Wait, you've been everywhere?
Have you ever been to the city?
Plenty of times, actually. One time-
RAPUNZEL cuts him off.
What's it like? Is there music?
What are the people like? Are they
friendly? Is it pretty? Are the
beds comfy? Are there children? Are
there fireworks? I want to see
fireworks so bad! What about boats?
Well you know, actually, I'm on my
way to the city.
RAPUNZEL's interest is piqued.
And there's gonna be quite the
fireworks show! In 3 days!
Thud heard backstage.
(RAPUNZEL gags FLYNN.) Shh!!! Be
Hey Lance, are we gonna kidnap this
girl or what....
GOOBER notices Lance tied up.
You're gonna kidnap me?
FLYNN attempts to speak, but the gag prevents him.
RAPUNZEL takes off tape.
Ow! When you put it like that, it
FLYNN squirms away toward the window.
Wait a second... He wants to take
me away... away from here! That
means I can go outside! And maybe
even see the city! And once I get
there, I can just run away... He
shouldn't be too hard to deal with!
I beat him up once, I can do it
RAPUNZEL turns around and sees FLYNN inching his way out.
I propose a deal.
I want to see the city.
So... If you take me there, I won't
fight back, and I'll let you take
me as your prisoner.
FLYNN considers for a moment.
You've got yourself a deal.
RAPUNZEL unties him, and they exit. MOTHER enters.
MOTHER begins scrambling throughout the room, looking for
Rapunzel's mother returned to find
GOOBER, LANCE, and RAPUNZEL run into the house. MOTHER comes
to the tower window, and sees them running off.
RAPUNZEL, LANCE, and GOOBER exit completely.
I'm just doing this because I love
you... And sometimes, you have to
hurt the ones you love.
INT. MYSTERY ROOM - NIGHT
BRUCE and LENNY are standing by a table. BRUCE is staring
blankly. LENNY is toying with his sword.
Rapunzel's mother called upon the
help of Bruce and Lenny. Many know
them as the most dangerous bounty
BRUCE begins to wander off, chasing a bug.
Bruce, get back here!
I know them as two of the dumbest
people in the world.
LENNY smacks BRUCE.
My daughter has been kidnapped.
I'll pay handsomely for her return.
What's the kidnapper look like?
Brown hair. Tall. Athletic.
Wait a sec, was he wearing a blue
vest? Brown pants?
Shoes? Was he wearing shoes?
Was there a guy with him? Scrawny
Yes, yes! Exactly!
We know him. His name is Flynn...
They didn't like me one bit.
BRUCE & LENNY
We don't like him one bit.
Then you're gonna LOVE this job.
Mother sent Bruce and Lenny to
"take care of" me and bring
Rapunzel back to the tower.
INT. FOREST INTO BAR
RAPUNZEL, GOOBER, and FLYNN enter.
Are we there yet?
I'm bored! Oh! Let's play a game.
I spy with my little eye.... (Looks
at Goober) Something goofy looking!
You do realize you're a prisoner
RAPUNZEL ignores Lance and looks at "Puppy Palace" sign.
Oh! Puppy Palace! I've never seen a
puppy before! Can we go? Please?!
Trust me, there's no puppies in
FLYNN and GOOBER look at each other mischievously.
Cute, little, fluffy faces ready
for your love!
You better hurry before they all
RAPUNZEL runs into Puppy Palace. LENNY is at the bar, talking
to the bartender (HELGA), and BRUCE is at a table with
another random goon.
This should be fun to watch.
LANCE and GOOBER enter bar.
I don't like the way you look!
BRUCE smacks random GOON unconscious. RAPUNZEL runs up to
You're no where near as cute as a
WELL THANKS A LOT!
BRUCE walks away crying.
Excuse me, we're looking for this
LENNY hands HELGA a poster of FLYNN.
I've never seen him before.
Can you hang this up for us, then?
I don't see a problem with that.
HELGA takes poster and puts it on the wall behind the bar.
LENNY walks back to the table with BRUCE. He looks at the
FLYNN stands in the corner. GOOBER walks to the bar. He
notices the sign.
Flynn! We got a problem!
LANCE makes his way to the sign, looks at it, then smirks to
Don't worry about it.
GOOBER walks away and bumps into HELGA.
Love music, and spotlight on GOOBER.
I'm glad I bumped into you.
Uh... Okay then.
As GOOBER continues walking, HELGA watches, amorously.
I'm very glad.
BRUCE makes his way to the bar, and slams his fist on the
I want a refill!
BRUCE sees FLYNN, but doesn't realize he's FLYNN.
Don't I know you?
I... I don't think so!
BRUCE looks at the poster, then back at FLYNN.
You know something? You look just
like the guy on that poster!
I get that a lot.
BRUCE rushes over to LENNY.
Where are the drinks?
That guy over there, he looks just
like Flynn Rider!
BRUCE points at FLYNN, LENNY glances over.
You doofus! That is Flynn Rider!
FLYNN scurries quickly on by. BRUCE grabs his collar and
brings him back. FLYNN is now in between LENNY and BRUCE
Long time no see... Flynn.
Hey there fellas... Been a while...
FLYNN tries to scurry away. Fight happens. GOOBER gets into
it, HELGA attacks in rage at goons.
I'll take care of these pests! Run
FLYNN and GOOBER look at each other slightly confused. Then.
FLYNN & GOOBER
FLYNN and GOOBER grab RAPUNZEL. Run out into forest. HELGA
man handles goons. Goons hide under table
Me too... Lets get out of here!
HELGA roars in anger.
Like right now!
FLYNN, GOOBER, and RAPUNZEL all enter the forest gasping for
Okay, there's no way they could've
followed us this far!
GOOBER falls down, extremely tired. Then.
Okay, I think this is a GREAT place
Why were those men chasing us?
We haven't had the BEST past...
HELGA enters, bringing firewood.
Helga bring firewood.
GOOBER, FLYNN, and RAPUNZEL stare at HELGA confused.
Well, I'm gonna go look for
something to eat.
I'll come with you! I'm an
HELGA and GOOBER exit. FLYNN and RAPUNZEL are sitting on a
log. Awkward pause.
Okay... I'd like to know something.
What is it?
If you've always wanted to go to
the city, why haven't you just gone
Well... I've never been allowed to
leave my tower... Because I have
magical hair and my mom's worried
people will find out and try to
take me away.
So... Your hair is magical?
(Kind of embarrassed)
Really? You don't think it's weird?
It's the weirdest thing I've ever
heard! But... That's awesome!
So... are you really an adventurer?
Or was that a lie too?
Actually, yes. I am.
Okay, well, where have you
Plenty of places... But my favorite
is the city. Amazing food, the
best parties, dancing until the
They dance there?
Well, sure! Everyone dances!
Oh... I've never danced before...
Not even once?
I've never been able to leave the
tower until now.
FLYNN stands up and puts his hand out.
Better late than never.
But... I don't even know how.
FLYNN brings her up.
Just follow my lead.
Yes, I taught Rapunzel how to
dance. Her dancing skills? All me.
Music continues, GOOBER and HELGA enter. They notice RAPUNZEL
and FLYNN dancing and begin to twirl violently.
I love dancing!
HELGA grabs GOOBER. They dance violently. FLYNN and RAPUNZEL
get ready to kiss.
Yes, the moment was ALMOST perfect,
HELGA and GOOBER cut between FLYNN and RAPUNZEL.
I see dinner!
HELGA charges offstage. GOOBER yawns awkwardly.
Well! As fun as this awkward
tension is, I'm gonna hit the hay!
GOOBER finds place on stage and falls asleep.
Ahem... Well! Ha ha... so...
So...(pause) Good night...
Yeah! Heh. See ya in the morning!
Both go to sleep. BRUCE and LENNY enter. LENNY starts to
sneak towards them. BRUCE stops him.
BRUCE looks around scared-like.
Is that scary man-woman around?
BRUCE and LENNY look around. They see nothing.
The coast is clear. Let's shut the
goofy lookin' one up first.
They approach GOOBER. Before they even touch him HELGA enters
with rubber chicken.
I caught a chicken!
HELGA sees the goons about to attack GOOBER.
What are you doing to my Goober?
GOOBER wakes up.
Uhh... Just wishing him a happy
It's your birthday? Helga give you
a big birthday hug!
HELGA bear hugs GOOBER. Goons try to slip away unnoticed
Well thanks guys! I don't know what
to say! Wait... It's not my
BRUCE and LENNY instantly freeze. HELGA puts GOOBER down and
gets extremely angry.
You lied to me?! No one lies to
HELGA attacks BRUCE and LENNY. FLYNN and RAPUNZEL wake up.
They are scared and confused.
You guys go on ahead! I take care
of these sissy girls! I will find
you again my Goober!
FLYNN grabs GOOBER.
Trust me! She can take care of
herself, lets go!
FLYNN, RAPUNZEL, and GOOBER exit. Fight between HELGA, BRUCE
and LENNY. BRUCE and LENNY hide. HELGA loses them
Where did you two pansy flowers go!
I always find my prey!
HELGA roars and runs offstage. Goons come out of hiding.
I don't like her...
I don't like her either Bruce...
BRUCE and LENNY cry on each others shoulders. MOTHER enters.
BRUCE and LENNY instantly man up.
What are you two doing?
Not crying, that's for sure!
I thought this was called crying?
LENNY hits BRUCE.
UGH! Well you were suppose to bring
me Rapunzel! Remember? Or are your
two little pea brains having
trouble understanding me?
BRUCE & LENNY
Why did I think I could entrust
even the simplest task to you two?
I bet you two can't even spell your
own names if you want something
done right, you do it yourself. You
two come with me.
BRUCE and LENNY reluctantly follow her. They exit.
RAPUNZEL and FLYNN enter through the aisles. Music and
festivities occur on stage.
Oh my gosh! Lance! It's... It's...
Isn't it great? Wait until you-
RAPUNZEL grabs FLYNN in excitement and leads him onstage.
It's amazing! Come on!
RAPUNZEL, FLYNN, and GOOBER are now onstage. RAPUNZEL looks
around in wonder. She walks around, amazed with her
surroundings, grabs an apple in the meantime. RAPUNZEL
begins to get choked up.
Is... everything alright?
Yeah... Yeah... I mean... I've been
dreaming of this moment forever...
And now it's here, and I can hardly
believe it! And I never would have
been able to do this without you...
RAPUNZEL stands up and hugs FLYNN.
Thank you, thank you so much!
(Shouts) The fireworks are
about to begin!
All exit, except RAPUNZEL and FLYNN. FLYNN unrolls blanket
I saved you a seat.
RAPUNZEL giggles and sits down. Fireworks begin. RAPUNZEL
stares in awe.
It's beautiful... The fireworks, I
It's so beautiful!
An awkward silence is shared, then they return their gaze to
the skies. A beat.
You know, I've seen just about
everything there is to see...
RAPUNZEL scoots closer to FLYNN.
And... I've never met anyone like
RAPUNZEL grabs FLYNN's hand. They close their eyes and lean
in for a kiss, but at the last minute, FLYNN looks behind
him, then pulls back.
I'll be right back, I need to take
care of something.
FLYNN hurries offstage. GOOBER enters from the opposite side
of where FLYNN exited. He sees RAPUNZEL.
I need some advice.
GOOBER sits next to RAPUNZEL, then looks around.
So, there's this girl, and I like
her... And I think... I think she
might like me...
RAPUNZEL spazzes out like a preteen girl.
What's her name? Is she pretty?
She's the most beautiful thing I've
ever seen in my entire life.
What's her name?
Goober, that's so sweet!
Shh! Keep your voice down! Someone
RAPUNZEL nods. They start whispering, inaudible to the
audience. BRUCE and LENNY enter.
There they are!
LENNY pulls two big bags out. He hands one to BRUCE.
You get Lance.
I get pants?
No, you doof! You get him!
I get him pants?
No! You put this bag over him, and
drag him away. I put this bag over
her, then we take them to the crazy
Ohhh, Got it.
BRUCE and LENNY sneak up behind them. In a swift motion, they
capture GOOBER and RAPUNZEL, GOOBER loses his shoe, and goons
drag them offstage. HELGA runs on.
Goober! Where are you?
FLYNN runs on.
Helga! Have you seen Goober? I need
to tell him the deal is off. We're
not taking Rapunzel in anymore.
I haven't seen my love. I sense
that something is wrong.
Listen, all I know is that I left
Rapunzel right here...
Look, over there!
HELGA picks up GOOBER'S shoe
Helga found Goober's shoe!
HELGA begins to smell GOOBER'S shoe.
Oh... Oh, what are you doing?
That's his shoe! Yuck! You keep
that away from me.
I've found his scent!
You've done what now!
Quick! Follow me!
Helga, I really hope that you're
BRUCE and LENNY take RAPUNZEL and GOOBER across house.
So why are we doing all this
kidnapping and stuff?
Because we like money, and if we do
this, we'll be rich!
And then girls will finally talk to
Maybe, Bruce. Maybe.
Oh boy, I hope she's pretty!
HELGA and FLYNN enter through isle, HELGA sniffing like a
So I followed the scary, Viking
woman, and surprisingly enough, she
found Goober, and Rapunzel. They
were being held in the tower by the
evil mother, and this is where
things took an unexpected twist.
GOOBER and RAPUNZEL are tied back to back, BRUCE and LENNY
cower from MOTHER.
You imbeciles! You brought me his
sidekick?! What use is he? I mean,
look at him! Ugh! I am surrounded
by a bunch of morons!
EXT. TOWER BASE
HELGA and FLYNN enter next to tower base.
He's in there... Helga know.
Okay... Well lets start climbing.
Helga doesn't climb... Helga find
her own way in.
Your powers of deception are
frightening, Helga... Whatever.
FLYNN tries to climb but realizes the ivy makes it
Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your
Lights shine on room.
INT. TOWER ROOM-NIGHT
Do you hear that Rapunzel? We
wouldn't want to keep him waiting,
now would we?
MOTHER drags RAPUNZEL up the stairs and to the window.
RAPUNZEL'S hair falls out of the window. FLYNN begins to
I'm coming, Rapunzel!
FLYNN reaches the top of the window and looks out. MOTHER
grabs his shoulder.
He runs down the staircase and sees BRUCE and LENNY.
What are you doing standing around,
BRUCE and LENNY charge at FLYNN. FLYNN defeats them and
stands one on one with MOTHER. They begin to fight. BRUCE and
LENNY get up and capture FLYNN. MOTHER stands, pointing her
sword at FLYNN.
You've made your last mistake,
"Ride of the Vikings" plays. HELGA bursts through the wall.
I always find a way!
MOTHER, BRUCE, and LENNY are baffled. HELGA manhandles all.
HELGA throws them down the trap door. FLYNN runs to RAPUNZEL.
Lance! I thought I'd never see you
RAPUNZEL and FLYNN hug each other. HELGA bursts through
HELGA takes GOOBER in her arms and kisses him passionately.
I'm the happiest man in the
HELGA carries GOOBER offstage. RAPUNZEL and FLYNN laugh.
Wow... Goober really lucked out,
He's not the only one that lucked
FLYNN kisses RAPUNZEL.
And they lived happily ever after.
Copyright © 2011 Peter Harding