What's Wrong With Taylor? Act I Scene I (enter narrator) Narrator: We start our play off in a typical setting, on a stage. The actors know there lines and are ready to perform for you, the audience. At least, that's how it would usually go. This play is no ordinary play. From the first act, you will know what I mean. I hope you're ready. (yells backstage) Jacob, Taylor, you're on. (Narrator leaves and Taylor and Jacob walk on stage from opposite sides) Taylor: Hey, what�s going on? Jacob: Not much. Oh, I started a new project today. Maybe I should say I started a new headache. Taylor: What do you mean? Jacob: Well, I work with computers. Taylor: What�s so bad about that? Jacob: Well, you know how computers crash? Well this one not only crashed it burned. Taylor: What, is your computer a racecar? Jacob: I wish it were. Then maybe I�d be able to control it. Taylor: Well that�s no guarantee either, but anyway I- (Enter guy in leather jacket) Jadyn: What�s up! Jacob: Who are you? Jadyn: I�m Jadyn. I�m in the play. Taylor: Oh, well the play hasn�t started yet. Jadyn: Oh, okay. Do you mind if I wait out here anyway? Jacob: Don�t you have to get ready? Jadyn: Well, yeah. All right, I�m sure I�ll see you later. (Pause) Motorcycles are so cool. Taylor: I know. (Jadyn leaves) Jacob: That was weird. Taylor: I know, how are we going to fit a motorcycle on stage? Jacob: That�s not what I meant. Taylor: What did you mean? Jacob: You know, Jadyn came on stage out of nowhere and-oh forget it, you�re impossible. Taylor: Me impossible? You�re the one who�s impossible. Jacob: Whatever. Is the show going to start? Taylor: Soon, soon. I think-yeah it�s starting now. Jacob: Okay, so should we go backstage or what? Taylor: We don�t have to. We could just wait on the stairs. I mean we are in the third scene-Actually, let�s go backstage. Jacob: Ok, cool. Let�s go. (Taylor and Jacob start walking backstage. Jacob turns toward the audience) Jacob: Enjoy the show. Taylor: Of course they�ll enjoy the show. Scene 2 (within) Braden: Am I on? Cade: Yes, go. Braden: Ok. (Comes onstage.) Braden: I wonder where Alexia is. Alexia was supposed to be here. We were going to talk about our vacations. Wait, was that what we were going to talk about? I can�t remember. Alexia: Maybe I can help you remember, or forget, whichever. Braden: Alexia, there you are. Where have you been? Alexia: Water skiing. I love water skiing, don�t you? Braden: I�ve never been. Alexia: Never been? I can�t believe that. You must have been once. Braden: I haven�t. Alexia: Well, we could go sometime. Braden: We could. How about now? Alexia: Now? I just went water skiing. Braden: That doesn�t mean you can�t go water skiing again. (Jadyn and Alexia walk onstage) Alexia: Hey, who are you? Chase: Jadyn and Chase. Is this the fourth scene? Braden: No, we�re only on the second scene. Jadyn: We�ll have to wait then. Chase: We can get into our costumes, at least. Jadyn: What do you mean? I�m in my costume already. Chase: I�m not. (Chase runs backstage, Jadyn stays onstage. Chase runs back onstage, grabs Jadyn and pulls him offstage.) Alexia: Okay, where were we. Braden: I said, that doesn�t mean you can�t go water skiing again. Alexia: Okay. (Pauses then starts back with lines) That�s very true, I-I could if I wanted to. Let�s go. (They leave) Scene 3 (Taylor and Jacob walk onstage) Taylor: This is so cool. I love being onstage. Jacob: Yeah, I like being onstage too. Taylor: (silence) Jacob: Um, you know I was talking with Seth today and he mentioned that�what�s wrong? Taylor: (silence) Jacob: What�s wrong? Taylor: I, um, I forgot my lines. Jacob: You what? Taylor: I forgot my lines. Jacob: How could you forget your lines? We went over them a hundred times and you knew them yesterday. Taylor: I don�t know, I just forgot my lines. Jacob: Where�s the director. Taylor: Cameron, Cameron. (Cameron walks onstage) Cameron: Yes. Jacob: Taylor forgot her lines. Cameron: Again? Taylor: Yes, I mean no, I mean�just tell me what my lines are. Cameron: Here�s the script. (Cameron and Taylor look over lines) Jacob: I can�t believe she forgot her lines, again. Oh well, that happens to everyone. --I really hope the audience is liking this play. (Jacob looks over at Taylor) Jacob: Are you okay now? Taylor: Yeah, but I just realized something. Jacob: What? Taylor: It�s the end of the scene. I�ll be ready for the next scene I�m in though. Jacob: I can�t believe this. (Jacob walks offstage) Taylor: What did I say? (Taylor leaves the stage as well) Scene 4 (Jadyn and Chase walk onstage) Jadyn: I want to talk to you about something. Chase: What do you mean? Jadyn: We�ve been dating for- Chase: A year, I think. Jadyn: A year and it�s been great but- Chase: But what, are you going to tell me that you�re seeing someone else? �Oh, you-you are aren�t you? Jadyn: I didn�t say that. Chase: You didn�t have to, what�s her name? Jadyn: There is no- Chase: Yes there is. You�re seeing someone else; she has a name! Jadyn: Chase, sit down! Chase: No, I won�t. I won�t sit down! �I thought you loved me, I thought there was something between us. No, it�s my turn to talk. You�ve had your chance. You�ll always get your chance, won�t you? Jadyn: Wait a minute. What do you mean I�ll always get my chance. Hey, this isn�t about me it�s about you. Chase: What do you mean it�s about me? Jadyn: You�re the problem. You�re the reason why I no longer want to see you. This relationship is- Chase: Can�t we discuss this? Jadyn: What is there to discuss? We�re through. And just to let you know I was going to ask you to marry me. Now, I will never ask you. I�m leaving, don�t follow me. Chase: Wait a minute, why are we fighting? Jadyn: It�s in the script. See here? (Reading) Jadyn and Chase argue, Jadyn walks offstage and Chase-wait a minute, you weren�t supposed to ask why we were fighting until after I leave. Chase: That�s right, I wasn�t. Do you think that�s a problem? Jadyn: I don�t think so. We�ll just continue where we left off. (Cameron walks onstage) Cameron: Actually, this scene�s over. Chase: What do you mean this scene�s over? Cameron: The scene�s over, next scene. Jadyn: But we haven�t finished- (the lights start to dim) Oh, forget it. (Jadyn walks offstage) Act II Scene 1 (Taylor and Jacob walk onstage) Taylor: I remember my lines now. Jacob: (sarcastically) Oh good. Taylor: No, I really do. Jacob: (still sarcastic) Yeah, right. (Pause) Okay, if you know your lines what are they? Taylor: (clears throat) Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages- Jacob: Um, Taylor, this isn�t the circus. Taylor: I know that. Jacob: Then why did you say ladies and gentlemen- Taylor: I just love the circus. Jacob: Taylor, you said you remembered your lines. Taylor: I do. Jacob: Then what are they? Taylor: You know, I�d love to tell you but- Jacob: Let me guess, the scene�s over. Taylor: It sure is. Jacob: I don�t know how you ever got this part. You can�t remember your lines; you take too long to say the lines when you remember them- Taylor: I sure do. Jacob: At least you admit it. (Pause) I can�t work like this. Where�s Cameron? (Cameron runs onstage) Jacob: Why is Taylor in this play? Cameron: Well- Taylor: I�m in this play, because I want to be. Jacob: You can�t remember your lines. Taylor: Yes I can. Jacob: Then say them. Taylor: (takes a breath then sings) Just sit right back and you�ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip- Jacob: Those aren�t your lines, that�s the Gilligan�s Island theme song. Taylor: I just love Gilligan�s Island. Cameron: Look, Taylor, remember your lines! Please! Taylor: I do, I really do. They�re on the tip of my tongue. Cameron: You don�t know your lines, do you? Taylor: I do to, I do know my lines. Jacob and Cameron: Then what are they? Taylor: Well, I (pause) I forgot them. Jacob: (frustrated) You�re impossible. I can�t work like this. Taylor: What do you mean? (Pause) Oh, I remember my lines now. (Pause) Actually, no I don�t. Jacob: Taylor, you just said-you just said that-Oh, forget it! (Jacob leaves the stage) Taylor: What, what? Cameron: You forgot your lines. Taylor: Actually, no I didn�t. I just remembered the wrong ones. Cameron: That�s the problem, you�re supposed to remember the right ones! Taylor: Why? Cameron: Why, why? (Pause) You really are impossible! (Cameron leaves the stage) Taylor: Me impossible? You�re the one who�s impossible! (Taylor walks offstage after Cameron) Scene 2 (enter narrator) Narrator: As you can see, things are not going the way there supposed to. I wonder what's going to happen next. I hope nothing else unexpected happens. (Chase walks onstage) Chase: How could Jadyn leave me? I know it�s in the script, but why didn�t he ignore that and stay with me. I love him, and I thought he loved me. Maybe that�s part of the script too. I don�t know I�m so confused. (Jadyn and Alexia walk onstage) Jadyn: Alexia Alexia: Yes Jadyn? Jadyn: We�ve been dating for how long now? Alexia: At least two years, why? Jadyn: I was wondering Alexia: Yes Jadyn? Jadyn: Will you marry me? Alexia: Oh Jadyn, I- (Braden walks in) Alexia: Braden! Braden: Alexia, I thought we were going water skiing. (Pause) Who�s this? Alexia: This is- Jadyn: The name�s Jadyn, who are you? Braden: I�m Braden, Alexia�s boyfriend. Jadyn: What do you mean you�re Alexia�s boyfriend? I�m her boyfriend! (Chase walks over to Braden, Jadyn and Alexia.) Chase: (sarcastic) Isn�t this a pleasant surprise. Jadyn: Chase! Chase: I knew you were seeing someone else. Jadyn: Actually you were the someone else I was seeing. Chase: What do you mean? Jadyn: Alexia and I have been dating for two years. Chase: So you were dating her before and while you were dating me. Jadyn: Yes, and I asked her to marry me. Braden: Alexia isn�t marrying you. If anything she�s marrying me. Jadyn: There�s only one way to settle this, let�s race. Braden: That�s fine with me. (Jadyn and Braden get ready to race and Alexia tries to stop them.) Alexia: You really don�t have to do this. Braden: Stay out of this, Alexia. This doesn�t concern you. (Pause) One, two, three go. (They race up the stairs) (Alexia leaves) Chase: Why aren�t they fighting over me? Cameron: Chase, they aren�t fighting over you because it isn�t in the script. Chase: I know, but I want Jadyn back. I want him to marry me. Cameron: Sorry, not in the script. Chase: That�s not fair though. Cameron: I�m sorry, I�m just the director. I didn�t write this play. Chase: I�m out of here. End the scene. (Leaves the stage) Cameron: Hey that�s my line. (Leaves the stage) Scene 3 (Taylor walks onstage) Taylor: I�m back, did you miss me? (Jacob walks onstage) Jacob: Not really. Taylor: What do you mean? I�m great! Jacob: Really. (Seth walks across the stage) Seth: What�s up? Jacob: Who was that? Taylor: That was Seth wasn�t it? Jacob: I guess so. Taylor: It was. I wonder why he left. (Seth walks across stage again) Seth: Hi guys, by guys. Jacob: There he goes again. Taylor: Let�s catch him the next time he runs by. (Taylor and Jacob wait for Seth to walk by as Seth walks right behind them) Seth: Hi guys. Jacob: (surprised) What are you doing? Seth: Standing on stage. I just love- Jacob: Oh no not you too. (Exit all) Act III Scene 1 (Enter Braden and Jadyn) Braden: I won the race so I�m marrying Alexia. Jadyn: No you didn�t, I did. (Enter Alexia) Alexia: Stop it all right? Just stop it. I�m not marrying either one of you. I don�t want to be with either one of you. I�ve found someone else. Braden: Who is he? Alexia: Well, his name�s- (Enter Hannah and Jade) Jade: Is it time for the wedding? (Enter Caitlyn and Stacey) Caitlyn: I hope so. Hannah: I love weddings. Stacey: Me too. I hope I get married someday. (Enter Elizabeth and Logan) Elizabeth: I�m sure you will, but not today. Logan: Today Alexia and Braden are getting married. Caitlyn: Are you sure it�s not Alexia and Jadyn? Hannah: Who�s Jadyn? Stacey: I don�t know. Alexia: I�m not marrying anyone. I don�t know who called you but there is not going to be a wedding. (Alexia leaves) Logan: Did we say something wrong? Stacey: I doubt it. Elizabeth: So what do we do now? Logan: Let�s get out of here. There must be another wedding somewhere. (All but Jadyn and Braden leave) Jadyn: What do we do now? Braden: I don�t know, but I�m getting out of here. Jadyn:You don't have to. (pause) There isn't going to be a wedding. Braden: I know. That's why I'm leaving. Jadyn: Maybe it is, or maybe you have a motive. Braden: No I don't. (pause) How do I know you're not the one with the motive. Jadyn: If you think I have a motive, why don't you follow me? Braden: I think I will. (They leave) Scene II (Enter Alexia) Alexia: Men are always fighting over me. I should be used to it by now. Sometimes I wish it didn�t happen, that I could get some time to myself. I shouldn�t complain though. How many women can say that men are always fighting over them. (Pause) I wonder where Jacob is. We were supposed to meet here. (Enter Jacob) Jacob: Alexia, there you are! Alexia: Jacob, you made it. I was beginning to wonder where you were. Jacob: I�m here now. (Enter Taylor) Taylor: Hi Jacob, who�s your friend? Alexia: My name�s Alexia. Jacob: We were just leaving. Taylor: Is the play over? Alexia: No, it isn�t. Taylor: Then why are you leaving? Jacob: We�re not really leaving, it�s part of the play. Taylor: Yeah, I knew that. Alexia: Come on Jacob, let�s go. Don�t worry about it. Jacob: Yeah, let�s go. Bye Taylor. (Jacob and Alexia leave) Taylor: I thought he said they weren�t really leaving? (Taylor leaves) Act 4 Scene 1 (Jacob and Alexia enter) Alexia: You don�t think Taylor�s really in this play do you? Jacob: What makes you say that? Alexia: That�s all you talked about on our date. Jacob: I don�t know what to think. Alexia: Why don�t you think she�s in this play? Jacob: For one she can�t remember her lines. Alexia: That happens to lots of people. Just because she can�t remember her lines doesn�t mean she isn�t in this play. Jacob: That is true, but I don�t remember seeing her at any of the rehearsals. Alexia: Neither do I. Then again, I don�t remember seeing a lot of the people in this play at the rehearsals. I�m sure they were at the rehearsals, though, and I�m sure she was too. I wouldn�t worry about it. (Braden and Jadyn enter) Braden: Alexia we just wanted to apologize. Jadyn: We know why you don�t want to marry either one of us. Alexia: Thank you. I really appreciate it. Right now, though, Jacob is suspicious of someone in the play. (Chase enters) Chase: I know it isn�t me. Alexia: No it isn�t you. (Enter Cameron) Cameron: I know it isn�t me. Jadyn: Or me. Braden: Or me. Alexia: No it isn�t any one of you. It�s Taylor. She hasn�t been seen at any of the rehearsals and she can�t remember her lines. (Enter Taylor) Taylor: Why is everyone on stage? Everyone: (Silence) Taylor: I finally remember why I can�t remember my lines. Everyone: Why? Taylor: Because I never got a copy of the script. Everyone: Why? Taylor: Because I was never at rehearsal. Everyone: Why? Taylor: Because I�m not in the play. Everyone: What? Taylor: I just love being on stage. It is so cool, but I never get any parts. (Starts singing) I love to be on stage. (Everyone else on stage drags Taylor off stage.) (lights dim)
Copyright © 2003 Danielle Melissa Hannah Fuller |