Reflections And Thoughts
I was in a room made of mirrors, thousands of different faces stared back at me, as I stared at them. Yet they were not entirely different, each person resembled me. Each image was a different part of me. A fierce face in one, with eyes that burned with aqua fire, another was a small girl she looked up shyly at me, I knew at once this was me, all the tiny little things about me, separated so that I could see each unique different part. Suddenly then room erupted in fire, the mirrors around me melted, like rivers of pure liquid, my reflections seemed to silently scream as the fire took them. I looked around. I saw no escape and the fire crept towards me. I cried out in pain as it reached my feet, then I awoke. My eyes shot open, and I took gasping breaths. It had only been a dream. Just a dream. Yet why could I not shake the feeling that it had been real? I could have sworn I felt the carpet that had been under my bare feet, I could have sworn I had felt the fire burning my toes. I took another deep breath then jumped out of bed. I should not waste my time remembering silly dreams, it was nothing. I grabbed the first clothes I could find off my floor, I dragged on a pair of cargo pants, torn and old, and a black shirt with fire creeping up its side, I paused for a moment looking at the fire. I shivered. It was too alike my dream for comfort. So I instead put on a plain grey shirt. I think it was my brothers, looking at the big grass stains on it, and the fact that it didn�t quite fit me - it reached down to nearly my knees. I couldn�t care less, so I ran down the stairs, my feet tapping rhythmically on each step. In the kitchen Maisy looked at me, �Darlin� you want some toast?� she asked, eyeing my hair that was probably sticking up at all angles, looking worse than a rats nest. �Yup�, I honestly couldn�t be bothered getting anything else, it was rather nice having an older sister whom would do some things for you. �Heard from Alec yet?� I asked glancing down at my rainbow painted toenails. Alec hadn�t contacted us in a while, as a brother I thought he should at least take time off from his random career as a guitarist in a band and let his worrying sisters that he was okay. But being an annoying seventeen year old, he didn�t think much about that. �No, he�ll call when he gets round to it, you know our brother.� Was Maisy�s reply. Oh. Great. When he gets round to it, hmm, that should be in about ten years time or so. Fabulous. I looked at the toast she had put in front of me. Eww. Whole grain. But seeing as someone else had done it, I figured it had no right to complain, so attempting to shut off my taste buds I ate the toast. �Want me to take you to school today?� .Uh so not cool, taking a ride in your older sisters rusty pile of junk. Id rather walk in the rain. �Nah I'm fine� I smiled falsly at her. Maisy rolled her eyes. Stupid older sisters with their stupid piles of junk that don�t even resemble a car, if you have a driving license the least you could do is get a reasonable car, so your little sister doesn�t have to choose between the worlds most embarrassing car ride that takes longer than walking (amazingly) or walking for over half an hour to school- up some freaking big hills. I picked up my backpack and jogged out the door. Oh it was 7:45am, great, I would only be fifteen minutes late if I ran all the way there. I cursed the school for changing to such an early starting time, haven�t they ever heard of sleeping in? I looked up at the gathering clouds above my head. �Don�t you even dare�, I muttered. If it started raining I swear I was going to� *drip*, I shuddered annoyed as a big raindrop landed on the end of my nose. Oh very funny. It decided to rain now. It could have rained at any other time, but nooooo, it decided to rain now, while I am stuck in the middle of no where. Grumbling to myself I trudged along the dirt path, as the rain got heavier and soaked me. Today was not going to be one of my good days. At school I managed to run through the gates before the janitor closed them, blocking off our schools only escape root, and my only entrance. �Get up earlier next time kid� he scowled at me and I slipped through. My shoes were wet and soggy, making disgusting squelching noises as I ran, my hair was mattered to my head. My clothes clinging to me. I slowed down as I reached my first class, science. The other kids giggled as I walked through the class doors, I created puddles behind me. The teacher stared in shock as I slowly stumbled towards her. �Sorry I�m late miss, I woke up late� I mumbled my excuse. I saw the teacher bite back a smile �I see you also had to rush through a shower.� I let out a low hiss. Argh. Once in my seat I pulled out my science books. They were soaked. �I don�t believe it,� I groaned. I ran a hand through my hair. I shouldn�t have gotten out of bed today. Suddenly I was aware that someone was sitting next to me. This was concerning for me, considering the fact that the seat next to me was usually empty, I did not complain. I had become aware of this fact because the person next to me smiled and asked, � Do you want to share my book?� I nodded slowly. He smiled a dazzling smile. �I�m Hunter,� he said. Oh Hunter, such a lovely, name, I mentally cracked up laughing, poor kid. But aloud I said �Uh cool, I�m Alysha�. I glanced down at my feet, a habit I had when I was embarrassed, unsure, or sad. It was then I noticed I was wearing no shoes. I paled. Shoot! I hadn�t put any on, and I had many hours of walking round to do! I slumped down in my seat. �What�s wrong?� Hunter asked, damn it, he was one of those observant people. I pointed down at my feet, and wriggled my toes. He glanced down then snorted and stifled a laugh. �No shoes today?� he asked. I poked out my tongue and said �Ohhh noooo. I never wear shoes to school� my voice full of sarcasm. He smirked � I see that I�m going to have an interesting year in science� I was silently screaming in my brain, firstly wondering why I was talking to this boy, and I hate to say it but� enjoying my self. I think I must me dreaming, or dead. Being dead the more likely of the two. And secondly I was getting along with another human that I was not related to. Scary. I never got along with anyone. Mainly because after primary school, and watching all the other children I had decided other people are not very nice and would not make very good friends. At recess I sat under the oak tree at the edge of the oval, with my sketchbook. Like always. Just because I disliked other people didn�t mean I didn�t like to draw them. They were rather interesting. I drew the year eight and nine boys whom were playing football. They were athletic and made of muscle. These boys I doubted would win any academic awards. I became engrossed in my drawing, the shadows, the boys many different expressions, the way their bodies curved and leaped through the air. They were beautiful, not in an attractive way, but in an artistic way. Well at least to me. A bunch of girls stood at the sidelines. Smiling, flirting cheering. Ew. I couldn�t see the point of high school romance. All the hidden kisses and messed up love. The broken hearts and jealously. I would never want to be apart of that. I did not notice for a long time the human shaped shadow leaning over me. I was completely unaware, until I had finished and a voice breathed close to me �Wow, your good at drawing� I jumped and glanced around, my eyes finally settling on Hunter, who was perched on a branch a bit above my shoulder, he grinned his dazzling smile again as he look down at me. I quickly snapped my sketchbook shut and jumped up warily. I had never experienced anyone seeking my companionship in a long time. Not since the first day of year eight when I made it clear I was a loner and I wanted it to stay that way. To my pleasure no one had bothered me since. But not today. Hunter was seeking my friendship. Something I never gave anyone. I didn�t answer, but instead swiftly walked away to another tree that lined the oval. I didn�t even hear Hunter jump out of the tree, yet suddenly it seemed, he was behind me. �Sorry, did I scare you Alysha?� he asked looking at me with deep chocolately brown eyes. I may be a loner but I still have dignity. Raising my chin a fraction higher and said coldly �No, you did not frighten me, I just dislike companions.� He stared at me a flicker of doubt crossing his face. �But you acted pleasant to me in science..� he muttered frowning. Pleasant? Dislike? Where was this rather old fashion wording coming from? I never normally have random conversations using polite and well-structured words. Then again I hardly ever had conversations. �That was a mistake,� I hissed. Hurt was obvious on his face now. I hated the feeling I now felt in my stomach. It was pain for hurting him, I felt sorrow, sadness about being rude. What was wrong with me today? I was saved by the bell and ran off, one glance behind me told me Hunter was still standing where I had left him, confused and hurt. For the rest of the day I could not get him out of my head. I was frustrated. Why did I keep thinking about this boy? I had no interest in him. He was just another human, whom would be no good for me. At home Maisy noticed a difference in me, other than the fact that I was a complete mess and smelled strange because of the rain. �What�s up with you Ash?� she asked sitting down on the table opposite me, with her chin in her hands. She calls me Ash because that�s what the people whom I am close to do, I guess its cause the letters A, S and H are in my name. � You look like you might actually be thinking!� she smiled. I smacked her lightly on her nose. �Your hair is a complete utter mess by the way, want me to help you fix it up?� Maisy�s one goal was to become a famous hair stylist and she often begged me to be her model. I brushed a hand along the tips of my black spikes. Ages ago I had cut my hair really short and dyed it black. Now I had spikes all over the place, my hair was scruffy and sort of pixie like. I shook my head. If it was up to Maisy I would have my natural white- blonde hair, long and curly, and I would be wearing flower print sundresses. Thank god she doesn�t have that kind of control over me! �So what�s wrong?� She pressed. I sighed. �Today I think a new boy came to school, and I think he wants to be my friend� I shuddered. She laughed her soft tinkling laugh. �And then what happened?� I took a deep breath and sighed � Well at first I was accidentally nice to him, I don�t know why, but that seemed to encourage him, and at recess he came and found me and yeh..� I trailed off. She smiled sympathetically, �Darlin� Ash. You have no idea how pleasant and pretty you are..� I made gagging sounds �I�ve seen the way people look at you, so many people would want to be your friend if you gave them a chance.� Why did she always say that to me? No one wanted to be friends with the loner, the freaky girl with the dyed hair that looked idiotic, I didn�t encourage anyone, I pushed everyone away, except Alec and Maisy, I needed no one other than them. Maisy smiled softly at me then got up and started making some coffee. �It�s your sixteenth birthday soon, remember?� she asked. I groaned. Sixteen. Soon the tests would start and I would be forced to get a job. Uck. �Do you know what you would want for your birthday?� I paused to think, �Everyone except you and Alec to leave me alone and that I wouldn�t grow up any more?� I asked without hope. She laughed lightly, hesitantly. �I meant something more realistic� she paused �Like jewelry and clothes, makeup, all the other girls your age want stuff like that, or how about a mobile, or books.� She looked at me pleading. �I don�t really know..� I sighed, and then walked up the stairs. �I�m not hungry, put my dinner in the fridge please.� Once in my room I flopped onto the bed. I didn�t want anything, I didn�t need anything. The only thing I could ever want, I couldn�t get, I wanted mum and dad back. A few tears leaked out of my eyes. I furiously wiped them away. I was not weak. More escaped. I rubbed at my eyes. �Go away. Go away. Go away� I muttered at the tears.. The tears wouldn�t stop. And my breath started coming in gasping sobs. I felt slightly drowsy. The next thing I knew, I was in a forest. My common sense called out. DREAM! I was dreaming. But like my other dream this felt too real. My feet felt cold. I looked down, I was standing in a small stream. I could feel the cold water rushing past. A mountain stream I thought. I could feel a warm wind blowing against my face. It was a strange comparison compared to the cold water. I looked around. I seemed to be alone. But my senses told me otherwise, someone else was here. I was surrounded by a forest of trees, no visible path through. I felt a prickling sensation at the back of my neck. Someone was watching me. I spun around. Behind me walking through a path that seemed to have appeared from nowhere was Hunter. He smiled the same dazzling smile as I had seen earlier that day. But something about it was more threatening, I shivered involuntary. His teeth flashed an alarming white. His eyes were no longer brown but instead a deep red. I took a step back. He took one forward. �Alysha� he seemed to purr. He raised a hand and beckoned me forward. My feet moved of their own accord. His smiled widened. �Come to me Alysha� his voice was not his own but an evil sort of hiss. I tried to stand still but once again my feet moved towards him. �Freeze� he hissed his voice was cold. I could not move. He began to walk towards me. I managed to whisper feebly, �Leave me alone�, he laughed, and it seemed to pierce my skin. I let out a whimper of pain. Yet I no longer felt fear. As I had seen in real life, confusion flashed across his face, but he quickly composed it. I think he was aware of my lack of fear. All too suddenly he was standing in front of me. I had never noticed how tall he was, and how strong he seemed. Then again it was probably part of the dream. He bent over so his face was inches from mine and murmured �Gotcha�, I screamed. My eyes flew open. I was in my bedroom again. I glanced at the clock next to my bed, it was 6:27am. Shivering I crept to the bathroom and ran the shower. I thought to myself. It was just a dream. Just a dream. And once again I felt so sure it had not been. I could remember the wind and the water so well. And Hunters face. I shivered again. The warm water gradually calmed me down. I managed to partially convince myself it was only a dream. Nothing to worry about. I trudged downstairs. I felt an abrupt sense of D�j� vu, I groaned, if today was anything like yesterday I was staying home tomorrow. I went down stairs, I was not surprised to see Maisy already up and dressed busy in the kitchen. For someone aged nineteen she was pretty organized and already into a home life. She looked up at me surprised. But she knew me well. �Had a bad dream?� she asked, I nodded glumly. She had no idea. She paused in thought for a moment then smiled �Well there is a positive, you shouldn�t be late for school today!� I was very tempted to throw something at her. She looked at me closer this time, and then asked, like she did every morning �Want me to take you to school today?� I thought to myself screw walking, I didn�t feel safe right now and the thought of being in my sisters pile of junk as bad as it was, rather cheered me up. I nodded. And she smiled. Today I took a bit more care in picking my clothes and making sure I had my shoes. As we drove to school, it began to rain. I poked my tongue out at the sky and whispered �Haha�. Thunder boomed in response to my teasing. I gulped and decided to hang around shelter for today, no doubt the weather would try getting revenge. Maisy drove away after promising to pick me up at about two o�clock. School seemed foreboding. I groaned. �If my life seems to get any duller and dangerous I�m staying in bed for the rest of it�. I heard a low chuckle from behind me. Had someone heard my insane sentence? I turned to see Hunter. I was quickly reminded of my dream I walked faster to try escape before he tried talking to me. Sadly, I was too late �Hey Alysha!� he called. I groaned quietly. And turned around. I eyed him carefully. He walked towards me. I didn�t see anything about him that was similar compared to his nightmare self other than he was himself. He smiled �I never noticed yesterday, you�re rather short and slim� I frowned. Ok if he was going to be a jerk I was going to leave. I turned to walk away, so he reached out and grabbed my shoulder. I was startled, not by the fact that he had touched me but because I had felt something similar to an electric shock course through my body at his touch. He didn�t seem to notice. �I�m sorry, I know that was rude� he smiled, thoughtfully �Its just as soon as I�m around you I say what I think, I don�t know why�� Oh no. If he decides he likes me I�m going to talk to Maisy about going to another school. He saw my annoyance and backtracked �I wanted to talk to you..� he smiled shyly. �Which you seem to be currently doing� was my reply. I saw a range of different emotions flitter across his face, he settled on amusement �Yes, I do seem to be doing that don�t I? Anyway, I want to say that I�m sorry if I annoyed you yesterday but I would rather like it if we could be friends� he smiled hopefully. Oh no he said the F word. Friends! �I.. Uh.. I don�t have friends..� I stated lamely, �I don�t want or need any�. �Everyone needs friends� he seemed to be getting slightly annoyed now. �Not me..� was my final reply then as quick as I could I scurried off to the girls bathrooms where no boy could follow. I was not alone in there. A girl. Jessie. I considered her a sticky beak. Always starting rumors and such, she came up to me. �Alysha� she smiled. Stupid fake people, she probably wanted gossip. �How are you?� she smiled. Still trying at the fake friendship thing. I looked up at her darkly. She waved my glare away as though my hate was a fly and continued. �It seems to me that the new boy, Hunter, has taken a liking to you. And it seems to me that you do not really like him back.� She continued to smile, I was reminded of a rat as I looked at her, she has tiny little dark eyes and a small nose. �What�s it to you?� I frowned. �Well seeing as he is good looking and all, and that you don�t like him, I was thinking I could capture his interest. Would you be a dear and suggest to him that he should start talking to me?� Did I hear a hint of jealousy in her voice? �If you want him, get him yourself� I frowned. I wasn�t going to help her. �Oh what a shame you refuse to help me, I guess your unwillingness to help will come back at you soon.� She smiled evilly. I rolled my eyes and walked out of the bathrooms. She was one reason I didn�t try make friends with people. For the rest of the day I managed to avoid Hunter, he was searching for me it seemed at every opportunity. Finally school ended. I rushed out of math sure I had lost him. I turned round the corner of the building and smacked right into his chest. Gasping I fell backwards. He grabbed my arm and stopped me falling. I regained my balance then pulled against him firm grip. �Let go!� I cried out. �Are you avoiding me?� he asked harshly. �LET GO!� I screamed. His hand covered my mouth and pulled me down an alleyway in-between two classrooms. I looked up at him fearfully. I was amazed to see his eyes were not hard, but instead soft and concerned. He asked softer this time �Are you avoiding me?� I nodded helplessly. He groaned annoyed. �Avoiding me will not keep you safe.� I pulled away from his hands and glared at him. �Are you threatening me?� He replied instantly �No. I�m not the one you should fear.� I felt frightened and threatened. So I pushed past him and sprinted to the front of the school. Maisy was there waiting for me. She smiled �Hop in kiddo� I gratefully leaped into the car and she sped away. I glanced behind and saw Hunter standing out the front of the school watching the car disappear. Well today wasn�t like yesterday, exactly, I would go tomorrow, but I would avoid Hunter completely. Once again I didn�t feel hungry. �Are you sick or something Ash?� Maisy asked. I had to lie. I did feel sick, but it wasn�t the same reason that she asked. I went into my room and turned up the stereo to one of my favorite songs. Humming I cleaned my room. I did not want to fall asleep yet, I was developing a silly fear for my nightmares. Completely idiotic. Eventually I could delay no further so I slipped unwillingly into bed. My stereo was on quietly, it was soothing, maybe I wouldn�t have any nightmares tonight I thought happily as I dozed off. I was standing in a dark hallway, it seemed to go on forever, continuous darkness awaited. Lighting the way were blood red candles. Their flames making eerie patterns on the wall. I walked forwards slowly. A forgotten instinct telling me danger was coming behind and that I had to move. A voice shrieked out from behind, startling me. I turned around with wide eyes to see a deep black shadow floating towards me. It was shrieking and wailing. I nearly laughed. It was all rather movie like. But I didn�t. I remained frozen on the spot. The shadow seemed to pause as well. It hovered in the air only about ten metres away from me. It called out in a voice not recognizable as male or female �Alysha�� I stared at it. Why did things in dreams always seem to know your name? It suddenly occurred to me, its because its your own brain. What you see are the fears you have. I laughed, my laugh was weak and fearful. �Your not real your just a figment of my imagination� I told the shadow. �Your just a shadow, a trick of the non existent light here.� I was not very convincing. My voice shook. �Is this fake!� Shrieked the shadow and the hall around me burst into flames. I all to well remembered the flames from my first dream. They moved towards me, to fast for normal flames. They were at my toes. I was barefoot once again. I screamed as my toes burned. It felt so real. The fire reached up my body, I couldn�t run. I screamed as it went up my body, I collapsed onto the floor, and dug my nails into the black carpet I had stood on. I withered around in pain. Why didn�t I wake up like the times before? It was too hot. The flames felt so real. I managed to look at my body and legs. The skin on my legs was burnt, red and raw, my clothes becoming rags. The shadow was nearly above me. It hissed, �This is just the beginning of the pain you shall feel!� I shut my eyes. It was hard. But I knew I must be dreaming. I continued to burn. And suddenly I felt the pain subsiding. I must be dying I thought. Next thing I know, my eyes are open and I was in my bedroom. I nearly burst into tears. That dream had felt so real. I winced remembering the pain of burning. The smell I am now aware was my burning hair and flesh. I reached a hand down touching my leg, and gasped. I jumped out of bed and looked at my legs. My pajama pants were burnt up to my knees and my legs were bloody and raw. What was happening? I couldn�t tell Maisy, none of this made any sense to me yet. I ran to the bathroom. And tried cleaning my now painful legs. The blood was dried. But I didn�t know what to do. I changed into long jeans and a long sleeved shirt. I had slight burns on my arms. But nothing compared to my legs. Again I was downstairs was Maisy. Like the last two mornings she offered to take me to school. And like yesterday I accepted. I couldn�t continue with this I knew. If the dreams got worse I was sure I would die. I tried to act normal as I walked around school. But by lunchtime I was in too much pain to move. I collapsed down at my old oak tree. I couldn�t sketch. I couldn�t eat. I sat there ready to cry. Someone touched my shoulder. I winced then growled �What!�. As I had suspected Hunter stood over me. �You winced when I touched you�� he said stating the obvious. I turned away. �Why?� he asked crouching down next to me. I turned my head away from him. �You have to tell me why you winced,� he pressed. I glared up at him. �None of your business.� I went to turn away. His hand shot out and grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him. �It is my business.� He frowned. I yelped as his knee accidentally fell against my leg. His eyebrows drew together. �Show me your leg.� I shook my head and muttered �Pervert� he smiled weakly. �I�m not, now show me your leg.� I shook my head again defiantly and moved to stand up. He was still holding my chin, I couldn�t get very far and his hand moved to my jeans, eyeing me cautiously he slowly lifted up the bottom of it. I slapped his hand away. If he was going to look at my leg. I would show him. I roughly dragged up one jean leg and stifled a whimper as the pain increased. He gasped as he looked. �How did this happen?� he demanded. I knew this was going to sound insane but I sighed and said, �I was dreaming. In the dream a fire was burning me, and when I woke up I was like this.� �This is more serious than I thought..� he frowned. I didn�t trust this guy. He felt dangerous. He stood up. �Come. I can help you.� I laughed dryly. �Ahuh.. And when I trust you then you finish killing me?� It would take more than that to get me to go with him. His arms were suddenly around me, he picked me up. I thrashed around. He regarded me seriously and said �No one can hear you or see us right now�. He�s lying my common sense said. But my instincts new better. No one had noticed my struggle. I knew that if I yelled out no one would hear. �Cant you just leave me alone?� I begged. I was getting desperate. He looked down at me with a pained expression. �I cant, if I do, you will die�
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