This Is My Prayer In The Unger And Need (1) This Is My Prayer In The Hunger and Need We had finally finished shopping for our big trip when I ran into my dear cousin James. I had hoped not to run into anybody I knew today but seeing James again wasn¡¦t nearly as bad as it would have been meeting one of my close friends. I whished to speak to them with all my being but if I were to run into them I was sure to be late. James on the other hand might be able to give us a ride on his way home which couldn¡¦t possibly be in to long as I knew he hated shopping. ¡§Hey James, what are you doing here?¡¨ ¡§Nothing much, you?¡¨ ¡§Me and my friend Kristy are just busy shopping for our trip around the world. Actually I am kind of hopping that you could drop us off at the park on the way home¡K¡¨ ¡§Did you know I was coming here or something that you planned to get a lift with me?¡¨ he released a chuckle causing his refined body to shake. ¡§No actually we figured that we would get a taxi to pick us up but since you¡¦re here¡K..¡¨ ¡§Well I am here with Robert but we have to go along that road anyways so I am sure we can drop you off.¡¨ ¡§Really! That would be really good. Thanks so much¡¨ I was truly happy to see James again but it was even better to know that he didn¡¦t mind giving us a ride. ¡§Where are you heading? Is there some one I should no about?¡¨ A trickle of tease slowly eased itself into each word making him sound mischievous. I released a laugh, we had always been the two in the family sneaking around finding out who was with who and then blabbed getting the person into a knot of the family¡¦s questions. ¡§No actually me and Kristy are heading off to go on a camp, I should probably run and get her out of the shop before the owner gets sucked in her ways and hands over the shop just like that.¡¨ ¡§Oh, ok but then were and when will we meet and what time do you need to be there? Which reminds me, what camp are you going on?¡¨ ¡§I am going on a youth camp called ¡§The Recruits¡¨ and we can meet here anytime as long as we arrive there before 2:30 pm ok? We can meet any where just depends where in the shop you are.¡¨ ¡§Whoa! You are going on the recruits? Me and Rob are also going on the recruits today but I thought that is was only for people going to our youth group and aren¡¦t you a little young?¡¨ ¡§No, I am 20 and it is for people that are 20-23 yrs old and I do go to your youth so I make the cut. Which gets me thinking if you are going then I hope you have packed because that is in an hour.¡¨ ¡§Oh ok, I keep forgetting you are 20 and not 19. Where is your luggage? And yes I have packed but if your catching a ride with us then we will probably have to stop real quickly at my place okay?¡¨ ¡§Sure whatever but I should probably get Kristy and I think we will go grab a quick bite to eat. As for our luggage¡K. Well we kind of bought it all today¡K¡¨ ¡§Only you could do that Layla. And as soon as I find Robert we will probably also grab a bite to eat so we will meet you outside Subway in about ten minutes¡¨ ¡§Cool, thanks James catch you soon¡¨ Happy with the way our conversation went I walked off to find my best friend and ready to head off to get some food. I found Kristy in the jewelry shop looking at a pair of ID bracelets with a couple of diamonds tapped into the side of it when Robert and James came up behind us giving us a fright making me squeal. The conversation floated lightly as we talked about the bracelets we had admired and the lock and hand cuffs that me and Kristy bought in preparation. ¡§Why did you by those cuffs?¡¨ The deep rumble of Roberts voice tickling our ears made me snap out of my daze. ¡§Well you see me and Kristy figured that if we locked our hands together with the cuffs and then loop the lock through the hole so that they would have to place us in the same room and then we figured that if we ended up with people we didn¡¦t like we would try convince them into swapping with someone else or if they didn¡¦t swap I decided I would pull pranks on them until the finally decide to either camp out in a tent or swap with the people we do like.¡¨ I replied with a giggle. As soon as I released all my tricks they all burst into unstoppable laughter and I soon joined not caring if every one thought of us as complete idiots. After having lunch we headed to James¡¦s house with all our shopping bags and newly bought suit cases . When we arrived at the park me and Kristy decided to fold all our clothes into our bags so that we didn¡¦t look to suspicious with twelve shopping bags and two empty suitcases. Twenty minutes after our arrival at the park we had our suitcases packed and filled to the brim and were listening to the leaders explain to us our living conditions. We were going to camp for the first week and then we would spend the rest of the three months with the same room mates on a cruise boat. After having a quick chapel we headed off to where we would find out who our room partners were. To ensure fairness the team had decided to pick cabin numbers out of a hat and the people that had the same numbers would be in the same cabins. Luckily both me and Kristy got the room number 11, we were just to find out who our other partners were. When we arrived at the cabin we found the door already open with familiar voices floating through the door. As we entered we discovered that we were sharing a cabin with all too amazing cousin James and friend Robert. It didn¡¦t bother me at all to have to share a room with the guys because I knew both of them and they liked to spend their time outside anyway. Although I could see that Kristy was definitely not used to the idea. ¡§Whoa! I get to put red hair dye in my own cousin¡¦s shampoo and small ants in his dear friends tooth paste! How exciting!¡¨ ¡§I am sorry to burst your bubble Layla but now we know your plans so we will be checking EVERYTHING!¡¨ Came Rob¡¦s teasing voice. ¡§Well that is not all I have planned men¡Kkeep your eyes peeled and do not sleep, I will catch you just as you start to relax. Remember this trip is three whole months long!¡¨ My excitement bubbling over had pulled worried expression from all my room mates but one. Kristy and I had an unspoken secret of never turning on each other so we knew we were safe from each other but it wasn¡¦t her expression that held no worry, in fact it was the one and the only Robert Westfield. It completely baffled me. ¡§You should be scared Rob!¡¨ James inserted after over coming the initial worry. ¡§No , I would just chuck her into the freezing cold river or ocean. Which ever one is closest.¡¨ His statement made me burst out into another bout of giggles and eventually James picked me up from the floor and swung me over his shoulder, stood there and then gave some silent signal and the tickling started from all around me. I could feel my body being poked with big and small fingers causing my stomach to ache from laughter. James finally set me down on his bed while Kristy and I battled on about which side of the double bed we were going to sleep. The first 6 days of camp went by bustling with activities that kept us out of our rooms and in between the forest. I didn¡¦t mind being in the forest as I had come across a quiet clearing just on the water. It had the most amazing view of the lands further along and I found myself spending time out there talking to God quite often. As the end of the sixth day grew near the leaders called us into chapel and we all separated into our own groups of girls and guys. The subject of the conversation that night had been about our fathers which had been a sore spot all my life, I soon couldn¡¦t stand the stories of father daughter moments and I left the room to go to my usually spot in the forest. As I made my way out, I kept my head low as I could feel tears tickling my eyes so I walked quietly and quickly. As soon as I was out of site I let the tears flow and my whole body shook as I ran to the place that I had come to love so dearly. When I reached the clearing, I sat and wept my whole body curling with the sharp ache in my tender heart. I don¡¦t know how long I had been in that position when I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. Not having the strength to see who it was I just cried, a body settled next to me and I lent into it, by the muscular smell I gathered it was a guy but I didn¡¦t care who it was. My sobs finally subsided as I fell into a fitful sleep. When I woke I was in the arms of the still awake Robert who had obviously followed me out to the clearing. With a concerned expression he hugged me and then let me go. ¡§What was hurting you so much last night? I realize that this isn¡¦t any of my business but you seemed so far away it hurt just looking at you.¡¨ ¡§I just had trouble digesting the conversation us girls had earlier.¡¨ I said, noting that it was still dark. ¡§Thank you for following me out, you have no idea how much it helped me just having somebody here.¡¨ ¡§If you don¡¦t mind me asking¡K what was the subject of your conversation? You don¡¦t have to answer , it just worries me knowing that it even erupted your night of sleep.¡¨ ¡§ It was not a subject needed to worry about in fact it was the simple subject of fathers but that is a whole different story , one that I don¡¦t plan on sharing any time soon. I do how ever think that we should head of and get some sleep, I have a feeling that it is going to be a challenge getting on that boat in time with so many people on this trip.¡¨ Hoping the plea in my voice would convince him I asked him to keep last night quiet. ¡§I wont mention anything if you will consider telling me about your story of last night. Of coarse I wouldn¡¦t say anything any way.¡¨ ¡§Maybe¡K¡¨ I said my voice taking on a distance that even I noticed. I woke up early the next morning and walked out towards my spot again. I needed to talk to God so desperately. I sat there just talking to God for a long time until I finally gave into my stomachs grumbling. Breakfast went smoothly although there wasn¡¦t a lot of conversation going on as every one but me was still walking up. Not long after we were asked to bring our packed bags to the bus that would take us to our train that would take us to the boat. I was buzzing with excitement after having calmed my heart from last night¡¦s uproar. ¡§How good is it going to be Kristy!¡¨ I said. ¡§Oh I know! I haven¡¦t ever spent a whole night on the train never mind two!¡¨ Both of our smiles reached our ears and I could feel my eyes twinkling as though a reflection of KK¡¦s twinkling eyes. ¡§Neither¡K¡¨ I whispered and finally let out a tiny squeal that had been sitting in my throat for a while. I could never explain the amount of happiness my heart held at times, it is as if I had just met Jesus and was walking on water beside him. Finally we arrived at the train station and we got settled into our rooms. Me and Kristy once again shared a bed and so did the boys. „q The memory of her in my arms that night kept coming back to me. How good it felt to have her warm body lean into me but how it tore me apart knowing that she hurt and probably has hurt all her life. Her soft screams from when she slept angered me. ¡§Daddy¡K why are you leaving?¡¨ she had whispered the heartache in her voice making me vibrate with anger. ¡§where are you going? Do you still love me?¡¨ her soft whispered screams had continued why she slept at times tears had streamed down her face but then she would take on an angry expression. I realize that she didn¡¦t know me and definitely didn¡¦t trust me but all I wanted was to stop the hurt, like I would have for any body else. When she had woken and told me the conversation had been about her father, it confirmed my suspicions a little bit more. How small she had looked, her body shaking as though she was only a puppet. I promised myself that night that I would find out why it had that effect on her. I knew her father had always been strict but I saw that as a protection as I had hoped she did. As I settled into bed that night as I settled into the bed that the train had provided, I prayed for God to keep me calm and for her hurting heart to heal. As I drifted off to sleep I heard her muffled voice again, I sat up looked around but she was still sleeping in her bed. I listened closely and noticed that she was having a nightmare. And that¡¦s when it started she had nightmares all throughout the nights but during the days she was happy. Her smile lifted my heart knowing that her nightmares weren¡¦t remembered or it was buried down deep. It had been a wonderful week and a very busy day on the boat on Thursday but I had too much energy to sleep. It was around midnight when Layla¡¦s nightmare became very bad. It sounded as though she was screaming in pain but it didn¡¦t wake the others so I walked to her bed and gently nudged her awake. She turned to face me with a blank expression on her face and then as if finally really awake, we both noticed the tears still crawling down her soft face. ¡§Lets take a walk and you can tell me about it.¡¨ I whispered, careful not to wake the others. She just nodded and walked out to the deck with me. She headed towards the tip of the boat and just stood there staring out to the ocean. ¡§Will you tell me what consumed your mind tonight Layla?¡¨ she turned and looked at me tears starting flow harder and faster. ¡§I really don¡¦t think you want to know but thanks for being polite¡¨ ¡§Please trust me Lay, I really want to know. I won¡¦t push you for an answer but I hear your nightmares every night each filled with anger and pain. You talk in your sleep¡K don¡¦t worry I am not supernatural.¡¨ I said releasing in a bit of humor. ¡§My dad¡K.¡¨ ¡§I thought so.. but what? I don¡¦t understand.¡¨ Lifting her chin so that I could look into her deep blue eyes I said ¡§ Help me understand Layla¡¨ Her face going pale she started, ¡§It will make you run away, you¡¦ll never look at me again and the others will think of me as a piece of rubbish¡¨ ¡§I will never! And nor will James, you know his heart, I don¡¦t know your friend but I hope she knows¡K¡¨ I said releasing her. ¡§She does know but she¡¦ll never tell and James¡¦s heart might be good but this could turn it stone¡¨
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