Reincarnating Love Chapter 2


“Look at yourself, you are hideous. Grab something else!” John yelled. We had been going out for three weeks and I already began to hate the way he treated me. Everyday he would criticize me and the way I looked, and I about had enough.
“You know what? Screw you, I’m not going!”
“Yes you are!” He grabbed me by the arm and shoved me in his car. As soon as I was in the car, he slammed the door and ran to the driver’s seat. I didn’t look at him, I was so mad that I wanted to hit him with a baseball bat and run out of the filthy car. Nobody spoke throughout the ride, and I guess that was better than listening to him criticize my every look. Finally, before we went in to the dance, he broke the silence with an apology.
“I’m sorry Martha, I’m so very sorry. Please say you forgive me?”
“It’s not the first time you yell at me”
“It won’t happen again, I promise” He looked at me with sad eyes full of embarrassment, and I couldn’t do anything but forgive him. Why did I always do that?
“Okay, I forgive you. But don’t do it again.”
The dance was very exciting, everybody was up and dancing to the music. I danced with John until I got tired I had to sit down.
“I need to piss” He said, and headed for the bathroom. After John left, another guy stood in front of me and smiled as he greeted me.
“Hey, do you mind if I sit next to you?” He asked
“Go ahead”
“What’s your name?”
“Martha, and yours?”
“Xavier, nice to meet you.” He continued to smile a contagious smile that soon had me smiling with him. Xavier began to tell me some jokes that weren’t at all funny, but the way he told them was enough to make me laugh. The minutes passed by and I didn’t notice. Soon enough Xavier was asking me to dance with him.
“Can I have this dance?” He asked. I didn’t know how to say no, but before I could object, he had me dancing with him. It was very weird how I didn’t feel tired anymore, maybe because his energy was just as contagious as his smile. Instead, I felt nervous around him. Before the dance was over, John had pulled me away from Xavier and punched him in the face. Xavier stood up and returned the punch to John in the stomach and then in the face. I knew that I couldn’t let this continue so I ran in between John and Xavier, risking myself to get punched, just to stop the fight.
“Xavier stop please!” I kneeled down to John and tried to help him up but he only pushed me away.
“Let’s go Martha,” John said while glaring at Xavier.
We walked out to the lone parking lot, until we found his car. I couldn’t find my words and after a while of searching, I only came up with a stupid question.
“Are you okay?”
“This is all your fault you slut!” Before I could defend myself, he slapped me across the face so hard, I fell to the ground, and tears began pouring out of my eyes. He shoved me into his car again and drove me home. Luck was not on my side because nobody was home when we got there, and my parents had left me a note taped to the door for me to read

Honey we had an emergency and we took Jessica.
and Gabriel with us. We will be back soon I hope

Love Mom

Nobody was home, my parents had taken my brother and my sister with them and I had to face John alone.
“So we’re all alone,” John whispered in my ear while he wrapped his arm around my waist, and held me tighter to his body.
“You know what I want to do?” He asked.
He didn’t respond, instead he leaned towards me and with his weight, I fell on the couch, with him on top of me. I then understood what he wanted to do, and I was not willing to do it now or ever with him. I should have listened to Morgan, she was right. His hands began to travel all over my body, touching every inch of my skin, covered by fabric. I tried to escape but his body was my cage, holding me hostage. He began to unzip his pants and unbutton mine, but I managed to punch him in the stomach before he could pull them down. I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. What was I going to do? He was out of his mind, and I was too scared about the situation to think.
“Martha” He called “Come out, I’m sorry, I wont hurt you. Please?”
“No” I yelled.
“Martha open the fucking door!” he screamed. Just then, I heard the front door open and the voice of Gabriel and Jessica filled the house.
“Hi John, where is Martha?” asked my mom.
“In the bathroom” He answered.
After a few seconds, I stepped out and John looked at me with a macabre smile.
“Baby I have to go,” He said in a sweet voice. I walked him to the door, and whispered to him.
“It’s over John”
“No its not” He whispered and put his arm around my waist and kissed me violently, trying to force my lips open and pushing his tongue in. He then bit my lip and left to his car.
I lay on my bed, scared to think about tomorrow. He was going to come to pick me up tomorrow morning to take me to school and I had no idea what his attitude would be like. I felt dirty after he had laid his hands on my skin. I did not sleep for the night and before I knew it, it was time to go to school.
“Martha, John is here!” My mom yelled
I walked down the stairs to meet him. I glared at him and he smiled big. He put his arms on my shoulder and exchanged goodbyes with my mom.
“I hate you” I said once I was inside the car.
“Martha I can explain”
“Shit I don’t care”
“Martha, I’m so very sorry, I swear to the dearest thing I have that I will never do it again please?”
“You have said that so many times, I don’t believe you anymore”
“Let me make it up to you please?”
I was so mad, that I couldn’t even speak. Instead, I looked off to my side of the streets. After a while, we were at the mall and he stopped the car to grab something behind my seat. It was a tiny crystal box with a ballerina inside.
“Please forgive me?” He said and handed me the box.
“Please I promise I will stop doing anything that hurts you” he said.
Should I believe him or not? He sounded so sincere and then again, he had said that before and broken the promise.
“Please” He said once more. I couldn’t stand him begging me so I forgave him.
We were at the mall and he bought me a little ring from the cart set up in the middle of the walkway. He stopped me and grabbed my hand as he smiled.
“Martha, would you like to be my teenage wife?” I stared at him blankly and he rolled his eyes understanding that I was lost.
“What I mean is, do you want to be my pretend wife?” I smiled at him, not really meaning it. I was still mad at him, but not as enraged as I was before. He slid the ring in my ring finger and kissed me. After that, we kept on walking, and we separated because I wanted to go to a gothic store, and he hated those stores, so he would wait for me at a sports shop.
I looked around at the store, there were so many things I wanted, but since John hated them, I didn’t wear them.
“This would suit you well.” A guy said. His voice was sweet and melodic. I turned around to find Xavier next to me holding a dragon necklace.
“Oh, Xavier, I am so sorry about yesterday.”
“Did he hit you?” He said, his eyes scrutinizing my face. I had forgotten about the bruise on my face.
“Don’t lie to me…”
“You don’t even know me, so back off” I yelled. He gave me the dragon necklace and walked to the counter. He worked here! I looked down at the necklace. It was extremely beautiful, the dragon’s wings were a glittery green, and the eyes matched them. It was like the perfect dragon anybody would want.
I felt horrible. He had been nice to me and I treated him as if he was nobody. I walked over to the counter and apologized to him.
“So you work here” I said.
“Yeah and I go to night school” he continued. “So why aren’t you at school?”
“My boyfriend wanted to bring me to the mall I guess” Before I could finish my conversation with Xavier I had to leave, or John would walk in here and find Xavier.
If Xavier saw the bruise, then my mom should have noticed it too. That must have meant that John talked to her that morning and lied to her about everything. That was good, I thought, at least I wouldn’t have to make anything up.
The days went on, and John began to act rude again. I felt so horrible and weak that I skipped school now and then to visit Xavier. He was so excited that soon enough his excitement grew on me. But as soon as he looked at my ring finger, his excitement died.
“John gave it to me, I think its stupid but I’m his pretend wife”
“You don’t like him do you?” He asked.
“No” I said. I didn’t just like him, I loved him.
He seemed to understand what I meant, but continued to ask.
“Then why are you with him?”
“I don’t know” I really didn’t know why I was still with him, if he hurt me so much. I loved him but that was not an excuse to stay with him. He always made me feel horrible and stupid, even when he was gone.
“You are too beautiful for that jerk” He said.
“Its true” He looked very sad, but I couldn’t find a way to make it better.
That conversation with Xavier left me wondering all week. Was it love that I felt, or fear?
John picked me up from my class before lunch so we could eat together like always. Today was our first month anniversary but I wasn’t quite as excited as he was.
“Hey Martha, you know what today is?” he asked
“Our one month anniversary” I said as I sat down to eat lunch.
“I was thinking that maybe we could you know…” He looked at me with a grin as he said it.
“What?” I asked “Have sex?” if he meant that, I would seriously dump him. Xavier had warned me a long time ago about this happening and I was ready to get asked such a favor from John.
“Yeah! Thank you” John said, as if I had said yes to his plea.
“Are you stupid? No!” I said.
“I’m not going to, I never said yes”
“Don’t be fucking stupid, and say yes.”
“You know what? Go to hell” I was enraged, but I tried to keep my cool.
“Shut up!” He demanded, but instead I grabbed the ring and threw it at him, hitting him in the chest.
“We are over John, keep your stupid ring and go to hell!”
“Who would want you anyways? You are so ugly! Come back here Martha, before…”
“Before what John? Before you hit me like you always do?” I yelled across the cafeteria. John got up and walked furiously towards me, and everyone stared at us. Before he got any closer to me, Annie got up and stopped him.
“John, don’t you dare touch her!” Annie said.
He looked at her in disbelief, then in anger, his arm went up as if to hit her, and I knew he would do it. I ran towards him, and pushed him before he could hit Annie. As soon as he regained his balance, he slapped me and I fell to the ground. Everything went by so fast, that when I stood up, Jenny, Morgan, Angela and Mia were slapping and kicking him. Before I could join, the principal came and took us to his office while John went to the nurse.
“So who started the fight?” He asked
“John did” Annie answered.
“And he was about to hit Annie, so I defended her” I said.
“Then John hit Martha, and we all defended her as best we could” Jenny finished.
“Well you know the rules, whoever was in a fight, regardless position will be suspended for a minimum of three days.”
So we were suspended, no big deal, at least I got rid of him. But what he had said hurt me more than what I thought.
“I got in a fight, that’s why I’m suspended” I told Xavier. The crew was telling Xavier everything that happened the day of the fight.
“I owe my life to my friends” I said.
Thanks to them I was able to break up with John. They had helped me when I needed them the most. But I could never tell them that I was afraid. What I felt for John was not love but fear. Fear of being alone, never having somebody love me like I wanted to.
“Neat friends you have Martha!” Xavier said. I always bragged about them when I talked to Xavier, but until now had he met them.
“So you dropped out of high school?” Angela asked.
“No” Xavier replied. The conversation went on, but I was lost in my own thoughts.
Ever since I broke up with John, I felt horrible. I fell into depression and I couldn’t get out of it. I began to cut myself but I never told my friends, afraid that they would reject me. It wasn’t that I missed John, just that everything that I did brought horrible memories of when he had hurt me. Why didn’t I dump him? He wasn’t my first boyfriend, but he certainly would be the last one.
“Well we have to leave” The crew said. Soon enough Xavier and I were alone in the store.
“You seem worried” He said.
“No, I’m just tired” I answered.
“Here I bet this will make you happy” He gave me a tiny but long black box with a smile on his face. I opened it slowly and to my surprise, it was empty.
“You know, he’s not the only guy, there are more guys out there waiting for you”
“What?” I asked confused.
“Look closely” he nodded his head toward the box “Look closely and you will find it, trust me”
Was he talking about a hidden object in the box, or a guy that liked me? It didn’t matter anyways if it was a guy because I already made my decision. I left him soon with the box in my hand. As soon as I got home, I opened the black box and this time it wasn’t empty. There was a tiny note, handwritten by Xavier I guessed:

I know my handwriting isn’t the best, but keep looking for the surprise!

I tried to dismantle the black box but there was no way that I could break it apart. Then I understood how it worked. I closed the black box and opened it again, and to my suspicion there was another note:

You are getting closer!

I closed the box once more, and when I opened it, the surprise sat there. It was the dragon necklace that he had shown me the day after the dance fight. I closed the box with the necklace on my other hand. The necklace was just as beautiful as before, he must have wasted a fortune on that necklace. Just then an idea popped in my head, and I opened the black box again. There inside the box was the answer to my question.



Copyright © 2008 Larrea
Published on the World Wide Web by ""