Friday 18th January 2008 Some Sexual Content Friday 18th January 2008 decency warning some sexual content by Sooz Decency warning, couldn't decide whether to post this or keep it private. some sexual content so if you're offended it's your own fault for reading it. Friday 18th January 2008. I feel so guilty. Yesterday I was stress-heading about getting things sorted. I mentioned the wood that we needed to pick up from W island beach. And then I made a joke. I said that Russ could go and pick it up for me. Russ doesn't drive... but he does ride a bycycle! He asked me how he was supposed to get it back as they are big, eight foot long, heavy logs. I said that he could balance two of them at a time between his handlebars and then rest them on his saddle, sit on top of the lot and ride them home. �But then my feet won't touch the peddals.� �So tie two lumps of wood to your shoes. � I was joking. Okay, okay, I was half joking ... all right? He took me at my word. Yesterday afternoon he cycled five miles to the beach, strapped two lumps of wood to his shoes. Hefted the wood onto his precious bike and then rode all the way home, avoiding main roads in case the police saw him, in his green anorak and blue bobble hat with his jeans held in with elastic bands. Mister Bean rides again. I'd love to have seen him peddaling along with three foot of wood sticking out at either end. No, that's evil. I don't mean that. I'm suffering pangs of guilt. Oh sod it, yes I do. I bet it was hilarious. He still brings me flowers too! Not only did he bring two massive lumps of wood but he filled his rucksack with flat rocks and some smaller logs. Last night we managed to get a bit futher with the vivs. Stoker's viv is all set up and ready to go. It looks fantastic and I'm really pleased with it. The monster viv has enough wood to get some major branches up when they dry out, it's a start and at least they'll have basking branches. The glass isn't coming until next Wednesday, that's a shame but can't be helped. Some bolts need sheering off the floor in the base of the viv and I can't decorate it until that's done. The trapdoor hasn't been made yet so it's currently two vivs not one. But I have to content myself with the fact that it's getting there. I spoke to Martin today and he says that he's sexed Stoker and my blood python is definitely male. That's a shame, I was hoping for a female .. but not to worry, we'll let the dust settle with Russ and Tia for a few months and then get an older female. Russ did annoy me last night. We got to bed and he said, �Would you like me to kiss you?� That phrase is beginning to drive me mad because it's a code phrase for, can we have sex? I know it's a sweet way of broaching it, but I find myself parroting it in my head three seconds before he makes his advances. I hate it. Why can't he just get stuck in there, he'd get a far better reception. The other signal is his socks. My man has taken to wearing his socks in bed ... nothing else, just his socks and only ... on the nights when he doesn't want to have sex. So we kissed and I tried to apear enthusiastic for his sake. I broke first and murmured sleepily, �Shall we turn the lights off?� He leaned up on one elbow and gave his pathetic five year old boy look and then he put on his whiny five year old boy voice. This ploy has obviously worked for him when he wants his own way all his life with his parents who no doubt find it cute. I don't find it cute, especially where sexual matters are concerned. I don't want to have sex with a five year old boy. Last night I didn't particularly want to have sex at all but if he hadn't whined I'd have been a damned sight more up for it than I was. �Oh,� he simpered, �Can't we make love?� �How about tomorrow night, eh?� �Oh, but I thought I'd done really well today helping you.� I think it was probably at this point that my face hardened. �Don't I deserve some reward for everything I've done?� Cue Janie's temper. �Oh well I'll tell you what eh? I'll masturbate you now to put you on and you can work out exactly what I owe you in sexual favours tomorrow, deduct one Wank and I'll square up then, eh? Oh, and it might be a good idea to put a tariff up in the kitchen so that I know in advance exactly what is expected of me for a few bits of wood. Hang it up by the kettle and then I can work out the fare before I commit myself.� Needless to say, he rolled over. I lay wide awake thinking about what a cow I am and the guilt seeped in. I'd just had a bath, I didn't want to get dirty again. I'd worked eleven hours, come home, sorted the animals and then worked on the vivs all evening I was nice and cosy, and I just wanted to go to sleep. But he had cycled ten miles in appaling weather to please me. He'd worked all night on the vivs too. He'd trawled around town buying hooks and handles and bits and bobs that we still needed ... and it's too much trouble for me to give him a five minute blow job. Not fair. I relented and he forgave me for being a bitch with him. I got far too little sleep last night and today I'm shattered and not in the mood for work at all. Decency warning, couldn't decide whether to post this or keep it private. some sexual content so if you're offended it's your own fault for reading it. Friday 18th January 2008. I feel so guilty. Yesterday I was stress-heading about getting things sorted. I mentioned the wood that we needed to pick up from W island beach. And then I made a joke. I said that Russ could go and pick it up for me. Russ doesn't drive... but he does ride a bycycle! He asked me how he was supposed to get it back as they are big, eight foot long, heavy logs. I said that he could balance two of them at a time between his handlebars and then rest them on his saddle, sit on top of the lot and ride them home. �But then my feet won't touch the peddals.� �So tie two lumps of wood to your shoes. � I was joking. Okay, okay, I was half joking ... all right? He took me at my word. Yesterday afternoon he cycled five miles to the beach, strapped two lumps of wood to his shoes. Hefted the wood onto his precious bike and then rode all the way home, avoiding main roads in case the police saw him, in his green anorak and black bobble hat with his jeans held in with elastic bands. Mister Bean rides again. I'd love to have seen him peddaling along with three foot of wood sticking out at either end of him. No, that's evil. I don't mean that. I'm suffering pangs of guilt. Oh sod it, yes I do. I bet it was hilarious. He still brings me flowers too! Not only did he bring two massive lumps of wood but he filled his rucksack with flat rocks and some smaller logs. Last night we managed to get a bit futher with the vivs. Stoker's viv is all set up and ready to go. It looks fantastic and I'm really pleased with it. The monster viv has enough wood to get some major branches up when they dry out, it's a start and at least they'll have basking branches. The glass isn't coming until next Wednesday, that's a shame but can't be helped. Some bolts need sheering off the floor in the base of the viv and I can't decorate it until that's done. The trapdoor hasn't been made yet so it's currently two vivs not one. But I have to content myself with the fact that it's getting there. I spoke to Martin today and he says that he's sexed Stoker and my blood python is definitely male. That's a shame, I was hoping for a female .. but not to worry, we'll let the dust settle with Russ and Tia for a few months and then get an older female. Russ did annoy me last night. We got to bed and he said, �Would you like me to kiss you?� That phrase is beginning to drive me mad because it's a code phrase for, can we have sex? I know it's a sweet way of broaching it, but I find myself parroting it in my head three seconds before he makes his advances. I hate it. Why can't he just get stuck in there, he'd get a far better reception. The other signal is his socks. My man has taken to wearing his socks in bed ... nothing else, just his socks and only ... on the nights when he doesn't want to have sex. So we kissed and I tried to apear enthusiastic for his sake. I broke first and murmured sleepily, �Shall we turn the lights off?� He leaned up on one elbow and gave his pathetic five year old boy look and then he put on his whiny five year old boy voice. This ploy has obviously worked for him when he wants his own way all his life with his parents who no doubt find it cute. I don't find it cute, especially where sexual matters are concerned. I don't want to have sex with a five year old boy. Last night I didn't particularly want to have sex at all but if he hadn't whined I'd have been a damned sight more up for it than I was. �Oh,� he simpered, �Can't we make love?� �How about tomorrow night, eh?� �Oh, but I thought I'd done really well today helping you.� I think it was probably at this point that my face hardened. �Don't I deserve some reward for everything I've done?� Cue Janie's temper. �Oh well I'll tell you what eh? I'll masturbate you now to put you on and you can work out exactly what I owe you in sexual favours tomorrow, deduct one Wank and I'll square up then, eh? Oh, and it might be a good idea to put a tariff up in the kitchen so that I know in advance exactly what is expected of me for a few bits of wood. Hang it up by the kettle and then I can work out the fare before I commit myself.� Needless to say, he rolled over. I lay wide awake thinking about what a cow I am and the guilt seeped in. I'd just had a bath, I didn't want to get dirty again. I'd worked eleven hours, come home, sorted the animals and then worked on the vivs all evening I was nice and cosy, and I just wanted to go to sleep. But he had cycled ten miles in appaling weather to please me. He'd worked all night on the vivs too. He'd trawled around town buying hooks and handles and bits and bobs that we still needed ... and it's too much trouble for me to give him a five minute blow job. Not fair. I relented and he forgave me for being a bitch with him. I got far too little sleep last night and today I'm shattered and not in the mood for work at all. This morning I had a shock. I went to do switch on and when I got to the Frillies I immediately saw a lizard flat out in the nesting box. I flew into a panic, I haven't got the incubator set up yet. What if she was having her eggs right there and then. I noticed that it was Tanimbah with his head on the substrate as though it was the softest pillow a lizard had ever slept on. Normally, like all aboreal lizards they sleep up in the branches. `Nimbah was flat out, legs spread, belly cushioned, sleeping like a baby. �Oi, bugger, that's not for you,� I told him, giving him a prod. He opened one eye, switched his tail at me, closed his eye, and went back to sleep. All right for some.
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