Fear And Bravery Are Walking Together They were one family.All-one team.Together-in one boat.Always supported each other.They loved and suffered to gether.Always together,never apart. They were different.That's why suffered more than others....It was a family of a priest.Then it was a verdict-if you come from a priest's family you not accepted in the society,you are considered to be the worst,the ugliest thing in the world.Just because you pray and you have to forgive everybody their sins to be blessed by God.God suffered too.He loved when He was HATED.He loved when He was rejected.....Galina was born inthe end of the year 1953.As you know it was the year of Stalin's death.Although Staling came from a religious family he did everything possible to destroy church,clergy and elite.I must say he succeeded in this affair.There were many persecutions,many priests were exiled.Not only priests,there families too.One family from three suffered this loss.Even old women who could do any harm to the society(!?)were exiled and even tortured.When Khrushchev began to rule the country there was nothing much changed.There were persecutions,repressions and a great hunger.Again-destroyed churches,authorities' humiliations.And fear.Fear to be sent very far.Fear that your father takes a risk every time he goes to church to listen to somebody's confession.Then the person who had come for it and the priest could be called for a special questionaire to some authorised peson.Always on the edge,every time being afraid of any strange sound at home.Only after Ukraine had obtained its independence they found out their house had been bugged.They felt something was wrong,that's why prefered to speak outside than inside.But there were neighbors next door and nobody could give any guarantee they would never be heard.Galina was the youngest member in the family.Her father loved her and was very proud of his daughter-so brave and fair.She was born an individuality.She was born a peson with self-dignity.Very honest,with the urge for justice.She was very successful at school.But there was a single reason she attracted everyone's attention-her father priest.She recalls one incident happen at school during dinner-time.All childen(she was 10 then)went to have milk with cakes.She went too.But the teachers didn't give her anything.She remembers when she came up to a table with cakes,stretched her hand to one of them.Suddenly she felt a very strong strike on her fingers.It was one of her teachers say:'Your God gives you everything.Pray him and ask to send you a cake.These ones are for crystal pioneers,not for priest's children".Galina doesn't remember how she came home.She had to strength to do any task.She fell asleep and slept for many hours.The next day she had to go school again... Her brother was older.But he wasn't as strong as Galina.That was the reason of all his sufferings.He was always punished by other schoolchildren.He came home with bag full of bricks,blue face and dirty clothes,and eyes full of tears.Today when I ask him questions about his school life he says:'You would better not know all of this.It is hard to imagine.Please,don't ask me any more'.I understand that each time he is asked,each time he sufferes again and again.Galina waas an excellent pupil at school.It was very easy for her to do any hard task.She was brilliant at maths,languages and physics.I remember my school years.I waas always surprised how good she remembered all things she had been taught.She helped me during all my years at school.She helped me with maths,physics and literature....This family was always controlled.Any time they waited for a knock on the door.Any time there could come anybody and ask to go somewhere.Each time when these people came for him,the priest was ready to go forever.He kissed his wife and childen and said farewell.It lasted for a long period of time... When you are a child it is hard to understand many things whi happen around.If something wrong happens there are always your parents who can give you such explanations which will satisfy you.For your young age these explanations are enough-you always believe and trust your mom and dad.But how can you explain a child why his/her mates hate them,why teachers quip on them saying:'Go to your God.He might wipe your tears and feed you!'? As a child coming from a religious family you consider God as an integral part of your being!You are in one piece with Him!So did Galina.She didn't understand why they hated God at daytime,but at night came to her father to have their children baptized?This total fear captuted everybody's soul. On the one hand,I can understand the people who were afraid to start speaking to Galina in public.They were afraid.On the other,there appears a question why they humiliated her family very rudely? If you don't like a person you never communicate with him.Why one has to humiliate another one? There lived one woman next door who strongly believed in Communism.She believed it so hard that found this neibourhood very humiliating for her.She wrote anonymous letters to aughtorities giving all information about people who had visited the priest,how many and even on what puspose(!?)..When she saw this family in the street or in a shop she didn't say hello.You might think she just ignored them.Wrong answer.Can you guess what she always did?She spit on the floor right infront of them !Such psychologial pressure was everywhere this fany member of this family appeared.But they had friends among other priests' families and simple people who as they used to say 'had nothing to loose'.Ordinary working people respected my grandfather(as far as you understood,the priest was my dear grandpa,Galina is my lovely mom).These simple peoplw always took off their hats and said hello.Today when my grandfather is not with us anymore,they don't forget to ask about my mom's life and my granny's health.It's been a lot of water flown since those times but these people remember names,dates and events which connect them with my dear people,my family.........I would finish this story so successfully but there is something I can't help telling.Galina left school with excellent results.But she wasn't awarded because it was wrong to award a priest's daughter.They decided to give that golden medal to a local attorney's daughter(IT WAS SAFER IN THOSE HANDS).Galina decided to go to the capital of Ukraine and enter one of the most prestigious universities named after Taras Shevchenko.She was good at languages,therefore she chose the English Language Department.She was brilliant at all xams.Shewaas sure she would see her name in the students' list.She DID see it.That time every new student was obliged to work for a hostel service to prepare the beuilding for a new academic year.She was happy to be needed.And she helped a lot!...She always wanted to study.She waas passionate in studies.After all the repairs had been finished she was invited to the recto's office for some formal conversation.She was nervous and could predict some part of that conversation.But she couldn't predict everything what happened to her later. She came into a room.The room was rather light but thee were shades coming from the window.The day was sunny,somy cloudy.When the sun looked into the window everything in the room seemed sunny too,but when clouds covered the sun,the room got very cold and full of humidity. She noticed a single table and one chair in the right coner of the room.The chair was occupied by one man in a strick black suit.The man was clean shaven.Dark short hair,dark eyes and thin lips.He smiled but Galina noticed that his eyes didn't move.He looked at this girl of 16 without winking his eyes.She was standing in the middle of the room.She even remembers the colour of a dress she was wearing that day.It was light blue.She suddenly for herself guessed the profession of the person sitting in front of her.Several minutes were enough to understand he wasn't the rector of the univesity.He looked at her eating a big apple.She couldn't feel her fingers-they were icy cold.She couldn't move her legs.It seemed they'd stuck on the floor.The man finished with his apple,sat more comfortably and started pulling this apple on the table from one side of the table to another.He asked her about her keenest interest in foreign languages,especially English.He never stopped moving this apple here and there.That moment Galina associated herself with that apple-helpless to do anything,any moment thrown away.The man kept asking questions.Next question was about her father's profession.Galina was sincere and answered rather loud and fast.The man stopped the apple and asked again:'Why are you so loud?YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE A LOT TO BE PROUD OF?'GALINA answered:'Yes,I am.For me he is the best father in the world.And That fact he is a priest gives me right to say I am the happiest daughter in the world because I can talk to God through my father!'Suddenly she felt a light wind sorrounding her.She looked at the able.She couldn't find the apple there.She nderstood that was the end of the interview.The man stood up and said:'YOU ARE NOT A STUDEENT OF THIS UNIVERSITY.hOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHY.GET OUT OF HERE!'This time his eyes got bloody,the lips lokked thinner and face-all scarlet. Galina shut the door very quietly That day she wanted to kill herself.She wanted to study too much.They didn't give her this chance..She wanted to be killed by a car crossing the street.But some invisible power moved her to another side of the street...She came home.She didn't have tears anymore because all of them had been left in the place where she wanted to be happy.The only happiness she wsaw was her possibly study...When she told her parents what had happened to her,her father kissed her and said:'Honey,it is your life.I have no right to take the chance from you.Go there again and refuse from me documentally.Then I am more than sure,they will accept you.I know how hard you want to study.I will never bother you with my attention because it can do much harm to you.If you want I can write a letter to the university saying that you are adopted.If we don't do so,you might never be accepted in any other university.They will never hire you because of me!I will never blame you for this.I am your father and spiritually you can always count on me.My prayers will never leave you.'Galina said one word and this word was NO.SHE SAID IT SO LOUD THAT ALL FAMILY MEMBERS UNDERSTOOD IT WAS HER FINAL DECISION.....She started working at library as an librarian-assistant.One year later she entered a local institute.After she had been given a student card,the rector of the institute was fired the next day...........THere were many obsticles in her life.But one thing she understood and taught us so:'Whatever happens,my dear children,you should know that I am always with you.I will always support your opinion.And one more thing.God is everywhere you take a step.Start speaking to Him and you'll hear his voice'.....Dedicated to my family.
Copyright © 2007 Elena Kravtsova |