Leprchaun Ed My stomach feels like lead weight as I walk into the park, probably because I am so nervous. I’ve only ever spoken to him once in my life and that was to ask if I could interview him. I walked over to him at the bar and said “Hi ED, I’m Tam. Would you mind if I interview you for Uni?” He looked a bit surprised but said yes. I then had to run away because my face has gone scarlet. I spent the rest of the night trying to avoid him and he spent the rest of the night looking amused and bemused at the same time. Now walking into the park I am concentrating on not turning red when I meet him and remembering all my pre-planned questions. I’m concentrating so much I don’t see the footballers playing football across my path and a ball narrowly misses my head. I carry on oblivious and almost walk past him sitting on a bench. He’s sitting with his legs crossed and his head turned away from me. He is about five foot with shoulder length brown hair, and green eyes. He looks just like a leprechaun, the way he’s sitting and the clothes he’s wearing add to the effect. He’s wearing worn and ripped light jeans, battered blue trainers and a green hooded jacket. It’s mainly the green Jacket that puts me in mind of a leprechaun if I’m honest. He looks scruffy but in a strange way attractive. As I sit down next to him on the bench he looks up and smiles. I suddenly feel at ease with him and my stomach doesn’t feel like lead anymore. I take some deep breathes to make sure my face doesn’t turn red, then I turn to face him. We start the interview by talking generally about what we both do. He tells me that he works as a bar man in a small pub and he has an older sister exactly two years older than him. He’s twenty-six and claims his hair isn’t receding, his forehead is just growing. I start with my pre-planned questions and realise I sound like Magnus Magnuson from mastermind, my face starts to feel hot and under my breath I curse myself for being so embarrassing. “Ok. Tell me a bit about your childhood” I try again, trying not to sound too demanding. “Well I originate from Market Harborough, which is just outside Northampton. Isn’t that where you’re at Uni?” he asks. I feel my face begin to flush with embarrassment. How does he know that? I only told him I was at Uni. “Yeah how did you know?” I ask feebly. “I did an interrogation of my own!” he replies with a cheeky grin. I notice his eyes are the same colour as his top and he has dimples when he smiles. “I asked your friend all about you. I wanted to know so you didn’t have the upper hand on me”. I smile weakly and vow to kill her when I see her for embarrassing me so much. “I’ve got an older sister and when we were at Market Harborough she was my best friend. We used to play together, usually dress up actually. I think she wanted a sister because she used to dress me in my mum’s dresses and make-up. I looked like E.T!” I can’t help but laugh at this story, because he’s still got long hair it’s easy to imagine him in a flowery dress, white stillettoes, make up and pearls. Just like E.T. “When I was seven we moved to Cambridge because of my Fathers job. So I had to leave behind any friends that I had made. I don’t recall anything significant that happened there, very boring if you ask me, no aliens or horses or anything”. “No! I lie, there was, I had an imaginary friend called Gerald. I seem to remember that he was a talking mouse, a bit like Harvey.” “I used to talk to him all the time and he would often get me into trouble. When I broke something it was his fault and I would regularly hide under my bed and talk to him. My Parent’s thought I was going crazy and threatened me with a psychiatrist until one of my friends parents pointed out it was normal for a child my age. It was because my sister didn’t have one that they thought I was mad!” “Maybe they were right!” “For Christmas this year my sister bought me a mouse from Bagpuss because she likes to tease me about my imaginary friend, I guess I was just a bit lonely” I look at him for a second whilst he watches the footballers, I feel sorry for him for a second. “We moved again when I was nine, this time to Sheffield. We got moved around quite a lot” I think about my own, I’ve lived in the same house for twenty-one years and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. “It must hav been when I was ten that I broke both my arms. I was given a new bike for my birthday, it was red and shiny. We also had a slide in the back garden”. I can see where this is going already. “I thought it would be a great idea to ride my bike down the slide, it would be like a stuntman. I did ride it but forgot that there was a tree near the end and I couldn’t use my breaks yet. Natural reaction I put my arms out to stop myself and crushed them both. As you can tell my mum was not best please with me.” Typical boy always trying to show off by doing something dangerous! “I was always doing stupid things and breaking bones because my sister dared me to do them” he continues “there was another time that she dared me to fight her, she called me chicken till I angrily agreed. I went to karate kick her and she jumped out of the way and I kicked the banister instead. I broke my big toe and she just laughed. We get on great now and I dote on my niece.” He pulls out his wallet and shows me a picture of a cute blonde haired girl. She is very cute and looks like him. I guess it’s his niece before he tells me. “Where was I?” long pause “Oh, Oh!” he bounces up and down like a puppy, “The interesting bit. When I was fifteen we moved to glorious Maidenhead” he says with a lot of sarcasm. I should feel irritated by this remark as it is my hometown and I grew up here but I have to agree with him, it’s nice but really dull. “I was just about to start my a-levels and a new school. I made most of my friends there. We used to have fun just hanging out at weekends, not like your generation!” he says teasingly. He knows I am only five years younger and he’s playing on that fact. “Yes Granddad” I joke back and he nudges me gently in the ribs. It feels like we have been friends forever. “When I was sixteen, a decade ago” he says in a fake Granddad voice “My parents split up. I went a little crazy. My mates and I from school formed a band and started writing songs. It was really just us mucking about with a keyboard and a tape recorder in a mates room but we thought it was great.” The image of five or six spotty schoolboys in a superman bedroom springs to mind, each one playing an instrument really badly and thinking they are the next big thing. “My favourite one” snaps me out of my daydream “was I caught rabies at Sainsbury’s. I’ll have to play it for you sometime its great!” “Yeah, that would be good” I try to keep a straight face. What kind of song could it be with a title like that? “You can laugh if you want. It was just a joke, but I suppose it was also a way for me to deal with my parents break up. If I kept myself busy I didn’t have to think about it. I did however have to make the tough decision of who to live with. I chose my mother and my father moved away. I still rarely see him” I realise all my pre-planned questions have vanished because he seems happy to tell me about his life. Maybe I could get one in. “Would you describe your childhood as normal?” I ask and I realise how stupid the question is too late. After what he’s told me his childhood was not that normal, at least to me it wasn’t. “It wasn’t conventional, No! But saying that it was normal to me. I did all the things kids do, played with friends, made a mess, hurt myself, just we moved around a lot. I suppose, in comparison with most people I did have a strange childhood. Maybe that’s why I’m so weird now” he grins at me shows his dimples again. On anyone else it would have looked like a smug grin but on him it looked quite childish and innocent. “The rest is as they say history. At eighteen I started work as a barman and spent anytime out of work in a blur of parties and drink, much the same as normal teenagers!”
Copyright © 2004 Tamsin Butler |